At A Loss

I get a much better understanding of why my family finds itself in the current situation that we are in with the ex way leaders my son married into, or rather current R&R nuts that have my grandson. It would seem their daughter was very conditioned to mark and avoid my son and entire family when he would not join in and be a part of their life choices. I wish the little guy would have been older and had the ability to talk to and bond with this side of the family before they moved her and the baby under their roof, but no doubt they would have been able to manipulate him regardless of age. They have the tough love down pat. They certainly claim to be doing good for their victims, who happen to be their own children and grandchildren. Our last visit the end of Sept. was nice to see the little guy! He enjoyed being with us and ran around playing and saying daddy :) but they now tell him to call my son by his name instead because he was saying daddy too much after our visit. Alienation! it is evil what they are doing. I could seriously throw up every time I have to look at Greg Lewis. His crazy wife at least stays away for the most part now when we do exchanges. She was FURIOUS the judge allowed us to see the little guy at all. She really believed she could just write the rules. Unfortunately they have for the most part! Horrible people. She quotes VPW and thinks he walks on water - completely delusional wanting to rebuild the fellowship.

We are headed out to see my grandson soon! I hope we get to have a good visit with him. It is always a stressful time, the exchanges are at the 'safe zone' which I guess is a good thing for us since we know that they can say absolutely anything in court and they lie under oath. It has video recording of the site and is next to police station. Not exactly ideal when there are inmates roaming around washing police cars in the parking lot next to us. If it wasn't so really sad it would be comical with all their theatrics. They show up with multiple cars and people to witness the interaction more for intimidation I think than anything. One exchange they had 3 cars and 6 people. They act like they will be kidnapped and deprogrammed. They told the daughter she can not have any contact with any of us - she will only text and the mother I am sure either edits or writes them.

I don't know what to tell you but these people are hard core mark and avoid. They will not even use my son's name because it is my grandson's name as well. They call him Greg and refer to my son as 'what's his name'. Does that sound like they are facilitating any bonding between father and son? They have taught him how to hang up the phone during factime - and he is not even 2 years old yet. When he hangs up my son is told by text, because she is not allowed to talk to him, that if the baby doesn't want to talk to him he doesn't have to....... really? does that sound like they honor the court ordered co-parenting agreement? no ALIENATION - OWNERSHIP surely not parenting. It's the parents that have destroyed this young family all in the name of their deep rooted devotion to rebuilding the fellowship and keep us cop out, delusional devil people away. I will see my grandson soon and certainly hope that we can have a visit without tremendous stress but it is unlikely. You obviously haven't had the opportunity to meet these particular leaders. They left CA about the time you arrived in the mid 80's I would guess. It is incredibly sad that courts do not recognize mark and avoid as the abuse it is to families - it is as real and devastating as any abuse. Telling a child a parent abandon them when it is an absolute lie is horrible. Kids that believe parents abandon them have all kinds of emotional problems, when in our case it doesn't have to be so. I watched an incredible video clip of a mom in the service that facetimed her 2 year old every other day and he knew her and was so excited to greet her at the airport - but that fortunate little boy had a dad with him that told facilitated that relationship. It is crazy that it can't be that way for my grandson. He deserves to know how much he is loved.

It is disheartening to be so far away and know that we are being marked and avoided by a family that is still so delusional about VPW. Frankly, it scares me that they are so into it after decades. They keep it pretty well under wraps. Why? because at some level they have to know it is not sane. They even stopped calling the little guy by his name, which is my son's name. They call him by his middle name (the grandfather's name). They do not want him to even hear his dad's name - Sadly, there are dads out there that do not want anything to do with their kids and my grandson has an entire extended family that just wants the oppotunity to be a part of his life. I pray that one day he knows the truth.

Thank you for responding! I so wish they would take a step back and really look at their views. Unfortunately, the Way was brought up in the court hearings and they are deadfast in their belief that they are not controlling and they are better people than most. They have established themselves in their community, he is a high school teacher, and she worked in a bank for years. I am amazed at the parallels in their lives and the lives of those whose books I have read. She was a singer and traveled around with the group and he followed her, eventually to complete the corp and get married in a mass wedding at the compound. They were limb leaders in CA, both Stockton and Oakdale, where he was a window washer and recruiter. Greg and Christine Lewis are my son's ex in-laws. Through all of this horrible ordeal, my son has not said one negative thing about his wife. He loved her beyond words and he will fight forever to have a bond with his boy, as will this entire huge family over 2000 miles away. Honestly, no one has ever said they are bad poeple, what they are doing to sever the bond between father and son is however, is the most ungodly thing I have witnessed.

I have read a lot of the posts from past members to try and get a better understanding of the Way and its hold on people. I have really no personal experience with the Way other than the fallout of my son marrying a lovely girl whose parents were limb leaders in CA years ago. These limb leader parents destroyed their short marriage in no time flat. They moved their daughter back under their roof 2100 miles away from the life they were building as a family here. To complicate it even more they have their daughter completely cutting my son and his entire family off from the little boy that they had together. The baby was one day old when the mother moved into the studio apartment with them and did not allow them to spend a SINGLE day together without her being in charge for the first month the baby was born. I thought it was CRAZY and didn't understand it at all. I kind of get it now..... indoctrination everyday, alienation, and constantly telling her she could not rasie a baby without them. At this point we get to see our grandson for one week every quarter of the year. We have to do all the traveling for the first 2 years. Attorney's fees in 2 states, plane fare, rental cars and housing..... it has been honestly a nightmare. If it weren't bad enough the parents sit and supervise the daughter's facetime calls she is court ordered to allow, so my son can see and talk to his little boy. They are the most manipulative people I have ever encountered and I apologize for ranting! It is heart breaking to see what they have done and continue to do to completely alienate us from him. They worked their daughter over pretty good! She is lifeless and bitter, something I never saw in the 3 years she was dating my son and living clear across the U.S. away from her leader parents. Any advise? We just keep hoping that if we keep chipping away at visitation that we will build a bond so he knows us but it feels pretty defeating most days. The oldest son has never been able to get away, he has been at home for over 30+ years, the other daughter lives within 10 minutes of them. They have a hold like VPW, as well they would after being limb leaders for years.

Thank you for replying. It's just so undescribable the change in her in such a short time. Breaks my heart. We had to get an attorney in both states, which has taken the savings my son had for a down payment on a house for his family. We have had a hearing on the east coast and will hopefully have a hearing here within a month. I agree about having to wait to get her turned around. She has been living in her parents house for the majority of the babies short 6 months of life. I flew out to see my son and wife in Feb. when her parents found out I came to town they stormed the kids' apartment like a swat team and said that the daughter and baby were going to their house and if my son or I wanted to see them it could only be in their house. We have only seen the baby for 2 hours at the courthouse since Feb. They told the court that we would abscond with the baby. Good grief, I am a mom, i wouldn't take a nursing baby from its mom, I work with kids everyday for a living, and I always put kids first. They are so extreme. With everything they do, the mother was so ....ed that the baby was circumsized because my son insisted. She just took over, telling her daughter how weak she was and that she needed to just let her do everything. The daughter was in a state to be worked over by mom. I know the parents are still quoting VP and listening to the Sunday recordings, as well as Wednesday skype meetings with fellow members. I feel like they are still very much into the Corp life and want to build more VP fellowship. I appreciate any insight. The stories told in the novels are very moving and it is apparent that people who got in TWI did so with the best intentions.

I don't think that most people really understand the hold that TWI has on its members. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on for the last few months regarding TWI. I have read the books by Charlene Edge, Karl Kahrl, Kristen Skedgell and Freedom of Mind by Steven Hassan. I had never heard of TWI until my son's wife (less than a year) was basically swept out the state with their brand new son. The parents have been members since the late 70's and plan to move back to Ohio to build a house on their friend's farm. The friend is a lifetime member of TWI. Little did any of my son's family know but this friend who did a wedding ceremony (they were justice of the peace married first) was a TWI minster. He did the covenant of salt ( we were clueless) and blessed their marriage. Long story short my daughter in law left and hasn't looked back. She was a very much loved part of our family for 3 years. As soon as the baby was born she MOVED into the kids 500 square foot apartment and started working on her. Next thing you know, she is not herself at all! She now is filing for divorce and claims we are all alcoholics. Please, any advise? I wish we could get her to snap out of it, but her parents have the strongest hold ever. Seriously, who can you trust if not your parents. I don't think a life rebuilding the fellowship of TWI is any place for my 6 month old grandson.

Anyone married in Emporia in July 1981?