JesseJoe

Oakspear wrote January 01, 2003 22:06,

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And now we're participating in a conversation where one of the positions is that the "keys", and the conclusions reached by them, were given by revelation, and we know this because the guy who supposedly received the revelation told us he did.

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LOL! I almost covered my monitor with coffee when I read that!

Great post, Oaks. It pretty much sums up my TWI experience.

Jesse

Thank you for the reply. I have enjoyed many of your views concerning TWI-1, as you call it. TWI was there for me too when I needed to hear things about God that made some sense. But if it hadn’t been TWI, it would have been from another source. God is not limited by organizations, or individuals. That’s all I was saying.

I heartily agree God works with all sorts of different folks in different ways.

However, when you say, "in a manner they will come to appreciate", are you speaking of TWI, as the manner used by God, that they will come to appreciate? Or are you referring to God’s very own manner of tenderness, grace and mercy? It makes a big difference on whether I agree with the second half of your statement or not.

Jesse

Oldiesman, I think you give TWI way too much credit. When I took the class I was hungering and thirsting for righteousness, like many others were. Yes, I am very thankful for many things I learned, saddened by others. But to say, if TWI wasn’t around, "... I might very well still be waiting, all these years and years" really doesn’t say much for God. I mean, He says if you hunger and thirst after righteousness you will be filled. There is no disclaimer attached saying, provided TWI is in existence. God is so much bigger than that.

Mike, glad you have something to pour your life into; sorry you picked the "god-breathed" works of VPW. Weren’t the Mormons founded on the same assumption you are making?

Jesse

Thanks, Laleo. I love that post!

Linda, I can't tell you how excited I was when I found this while I was searching the archived WayDale for something else. Made my day!!!

Your story again brought tears to my eyes as I read through it. I am always amazed at the role animals play in opening our hearts so hardness can be desolved.

Your discription of Emma reminds me of the balance I see in all relationships. Even mine with GreaseSpot. Does the good I get out of it more then compensate for the times it drives me crazy? Got to say yes to that one!

Glad to hear about Molly. It is important for Emma to have someone to hang with while you are away. Heck, even when you are there. Companion animals need companionship. Sounds like you got a great pack!

Jesse

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God, dogs and hearts

I have a story about a special dog and how God brought him into my life. We needed each other!

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His name was Chester. I was walking through the Euclid Arcade on my lunch hour one Friday in November, and there he was. Front half dog, back half warthog. Timid but with a very tiny glimmer of hope in his eyes. Far from a pup. Not likely to win any beauty contests.

I had a quick conversation with myself. "Just keep walking, Linda. You're on the road too much. You work all day. The poor thing would be alone too much. You already have a cat and a bird. Don't even think about it."

I tried, but I couldn't stay away. I walked over to the animal shelter people who were trying to find Chester a home. I petted him and he looked up at me with lonely, frightened eyes. "May I walk him around the arcade, to see how he responds to me?" I asked.

Chester and I set out for our little jaunt. He was so curious about each of the little shops in the arcade, but he'd timidly look over at me for permission before sticking his nose near the entrance and doing his doggie inspection. I was worried because he was older, and I was afraid adjusting to a new home would be too hard on him. They told me he was 6. (Ha! More like 12, said my vet.)

I handed Chester's leash to the woman and said, "I need to think about it." I wanted to do what was best for Chester, and I knew what a big responsibility it is to have a dog, if ya do it right.

The picture of Chester hesitatingly exploring the shop doorways wouldn't leave my mind. I argued with myself, "He's old. You're just setting yourself up for a heartbreak."

I couldn't stand leaving him at the pound. Later that day I called the animal shelter. "Is Chester still there?" I asked. "Yes." "Has he been there long?" "Yes. He was due to be put down twice, but he's such a special dog, we've kept him in hopes of finding him a good home." I said, "How late are you open?"

And thus it began.

I picked up Chester the next day and brought him to his new home. They told me to watch him carefully, because he'd been adopted twice before and had run away both times. He was pretty despondent, but extremely well behaved. I suspected he had belonged to someone who had died. It's obvious he had been loved well and for some reason left behind, and that he was grieving and extremely wary.

This little funny looking-dog (he looked like half English setter and half Scottish terrier, and he really did have a back end like a warthog's, a broad chest like an old-time boxer and hair like Don King's) won the hearts of all who met him. He had a gentle, wise way about him and the sweetest, most obedient disposition I'd ever seen in a dog.

It took about a month, but Chester perked up little by little and came to feel at home with me. In the process, he melted my once-hardened heart. Between my departure from twi and some other devastating events afterwards, I'd pretty much shut my emotions down. Together, Chester and I learned to reach out and care again.

Then came the bad news. Chester had a very aggressive form of cancer. The prognosis was not good.

Some friends said, "Just have him put to sleep." Under some circumstances I might have, but I made up my mind that as long as he was comfortable, I would get him whatever treatments the docs thought would keep him that way--as long as he wasn't suffering. Nevertheless, I knew I wouldn't have him with me long.

A few months later, we did Chester's Last Vacation. I loaded him into the car and drove up to the ferry at Catawba, and off we went with some friends of mine to a little island in Lake Erie. We took walks. We ate whatever we liked. We strolled on the beach. Chester's favorite activity was riding in the golf cart!! He'd sit beside me, his Don King hair flying wildly in the breeze, just as happy as a dog could be.

I made up my mind that however long Chester had, he was going to be pampered and spoiled and treated to whatever his little heart desired. A couple months later it became evident that the treatment was not working and was beginning to cause him distress. I called my vet and said, "It's time."

I took that day off work to spend with Chester. We went to Burger King. We went to Dairy Queen. I brushed his wild hair. I hugged him a lot. I comforted myself with the knowledge that the one short year I'd had Chester with me, I'd given him a safe home and a lot of love that he probably wouldn't have had otherwise. He'd had a human "Grandma and Grandpa" and family who'd adored him unabashedly. He'd had a place in my heart and I in his.

Chester died quietly in my arms. He was at rest. I cried my eyes out and my vet cried with me, but God gave me such peace I can't even describe it.

I have no doubt that God brought Chester into my life to open my heart. Now I have Emma, another terrier mix who's young and healthy and full of pi$$ and vinegar and looks like she could be Chester's granddaughter (she has his Don King mane). She'd been poorly trained (or not trained at all) and dumped at the shelter by a family from a ritzy suburb who probably grew impatient with her. She's sleeping nearby as I type this, enjoying the good life. Slowly but surely she's learning her manners, and she's nuts about me. It's mutual.

God's taught me a lot through these two pooches. About trust and unconditional love and forgiveness. That's how personal our God is. He knows exactly what it takes to reach into our hearts and heal them. And in my case, He's given me the opportunity and privilege to help a couple of His little creatures that needed my love while He was at it. Our Father don't need no steenkin' "No pet policy"!!

Linda Z.

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Jesse

Happy B-day, Linda.

Jesse

Happy Birthday, Catcup. Sure miss seeing you around. Your thoughts and heart have been something I've learned from since WayDale. I'm thankful you are you and hope to see you posting again some day.

Hope your day was special,

Jesse

Hey ExC. Don't know if you will ever see this or not, but I for one am thankful for the time you have spent here and the heart you have shared. I will miss you.

Sorry you came to believe GreaseSpot is a cult. Funny thing is, every group can be considered a cult, depending on your perspective. Some people are even cults unto themselves. Such is life.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

Jesse

Hi, Seth. How ya doing? I was going to send you an email but it was returned, so I decided to post it on this thread. Hope you are well. I have been thinking about you everyday since I read your thread last month. The 23rd is Monday, as you well know. My anniversary was the 13th. It was my 10th.

Amazing how I still want to drink sometimes. But, ya know, I would just have to start all over again if I started and my time is very important to me. When that isn't enough to keep me sober I remember my last drunk. I will NEVER do to another person what I did to someone that night. Never! The only way I can guarantee that is to not drink. That memory, although my most painful, I never want to forget.

With each year of soberiety the depression has lightened up. For the last few it has been very manageable. I'm actually happy, which is something I never thought I would be again.

Well, I have been thinking about you and wanted you to know. You are never alone.

Jesse

(((((firebee)))))

Jesse

I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Jesse

I love it! Very simple and visual.

Thanks for the tip on Maurice Sendak. I'm going to do a search and check it out. We have thought about doing something like that but funds have not allowed it. But I have vision! I'll put it in my file, Things To Do When The Funds Come In.

Thanks,

Jesse

I really like SEAL.

Service Excellence in Animal Logistics.

SEAL Mobile has a nice ring.

Someone at work wants the name to be NO-NADS. Somehow I don't think our community would embrace it!

Jesse

The SPCA I work at has a 38' RV equipped for surgery, education and adoptions that will be christened Sept. 20 and it needs a name.

You can view it here.

Some examples of names already used by others are SNIP Van (Spay/Neuter Initiative Program) or M*A*S*H (Mobile Animal Surgical Hospital). They wouldn?t work anyway because the RV is more than what these two examples suggest.

I?ve racked my brain and have only come up with the Nome Mobile (NO More Euthanasia) and CEMA (Community Education Mobile Assistance). Not very cute, I admit.

Can you tell I am not very creative? BUT YOU ARE! Do y?all have any ideas?

Jesse

Hey, Rottie. I did have a Jesse icon! I had it stored on the web site were I work and lost it with a bunch of other stuff. It was my favorite picture!

I found a picture of the whole family! Cappy, the Bulldog can?t keep his eyes off the cat hiding in the snow. He is very single minded.

Anyway, thank you for what you do. It makes a difference!

Jesse

Thanks for the welcome back! I lost the old web site when I switched over to a new one in April. Gosh, I lost some good stuff! I might have a copy on the server at work. I'll let you know via email tomorrow whether or not I find it.

Mary Cate, LOVE the quote by St. Francis of Assisi. It's so very true.

Jesse

Please, be careful. This man is not stable. And regardless of how much you care and want to help him, it is ultimately not your responsibility to make this happen. It is John's responsibility. Walk away before he damages you, if not physically, mentally! God will care for him.

Unfortunately, he is out to change himself into TWI's idea of a Christian man, and you have seen what that is like via the tapes and books he has allowed you to hear and read. You have seen it by his contempt for what you hold dear. You have seen it by his willingness to be vulgar one minute and "the Holy Man" the next. TWI teaches that. They say in one breath that it is grace and you have no law to bind you so what ever you can handle, do it. In the next breath they say, you have to do this, and think this, in order to be accepted of the Household, thus being accepted of God. What TWI fails to teach is Jesus as the example of what it is. They fail to teach humility before God. It is all very confusing when you are caught up in it. John is obviously very much caught up in it!

John is also trying to change you into his idea of a Christian woman. He wants to direct your mind and heart into the "freedom" he has. But from what you have seen, is he free?

Yes, the man has pain and I know you hurt for him and want to help. But until he admits something is wrong, and takes responsibility for it, you can do nothing. Except pray for him. Praying for him is the greatest thing you can do for John.

You obviously care enough to seek answers, your willingness to help is apparent, but John is responsible for his own life, not you.

Sadly and with much regret, I say, I?ve been where he is. You can?t lead him to the Father, he must make the decision on his own. I had Aleya2Fairlie's in my life and I am so sorry for the pain I caused them by my own. God hasn?t back-off, but you need to.

Jesse

Rottie, beautiful baby you have! You too, Dot!

Here?s four of my five. From back to front: Claudia, Harriet, Jesse and Yoda. Their ages are, 12, 14, 6 and 10, in that order.

Claude is Harry?s puppy. Who knew that some strange dog could get into my back yard! I fixed that problem real quick and NOT by securing the fence!

Harry was about three months and a stray in the neighborhood when I first saw her. I spent New Year?s Eve with her, shortly after I left TWI. With her I didn?t feel so alone, so I searched for her owner the next day. When I found them, I learned they didn?t want her and she has been with me ever since.

With Jesse, I had always wanted a giant breed, so I researched breeds and learned about the Leonberger. I found a breeder I clicked with on the phone and waited a couple of months for him to arrive. He is everything I ever wanted in a dog, then some. Jesse is my heart.

Yoda was a stray that walked in the house one day and took over. She was about 9 months old and had the worst skin I had ever seen. We did everything to find her owner from putting up notices at the vets, signs on telephone poles, newspaper ads, to having the local Catholic Church make an announcement about a found dog. No one claimed her, and well, she acted like she had always been with us anyway, so...

The one not pictured is a 10 year-old Bulldog named Cappy. One night about 4 years ago, four dogs went out in the front yard while the trash was being taken out and five dogs came back in! He was very underweight, his teeth were in horrible shape and he stank like cat urine. The next day we looked for and found the owner. During our conversation, I told the owner he had three choices. He could either take the dog to the vet, let the dog die or sell him to me. Needless to say, he called the next day and I bought a dog.

Gandhi once said, "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." Here in New Orleans, our moral progress is pretty slow! I work in at the SPCA/Animal Control and it is sickening to see the attitudes people have about animals!

I?ll never understand TWI?s no-pets policy. I?ve seen the hardest child soften by the love of his dog, the elderly find a reason to get up in the morning and so much more. The one thing you can pour your emotions into without being misunderstood is an animal. They are also pretty good gauges of how you are coming across. I think getting a dog soon after leaving TWI was the first step I took towards God softening my heart. And God has done a great job!

Jesse