notinKansasanymore

Okay, I know that this isn't what we were all taught to believe in TWI, but they were pretty wrong about some other things, too (adultery, abortion, women as second-class people, children as nothing but hindrances, I could go on, but life is pretty short for that).

I just have to say that I'm glad that same-sex couples in California can finally have the legal protection that I have in my heterosexual marriage. Either God made them that way, or they're convinced in their hearts that He did; either way, they feel that they have no choice but to be the way that they are. If they can't live life, find true love, settle down, and raise a family, then that's wrong. I'm not trying to start a fight on this site. I'm just expressing my opinion that discrimination of this sort is as bad as racism or sexism. It's about time that a big state has taken a stand on it.

God Bless California.

Taught the last class on Tuesday, had the last office hours today. Finals are next week. I'm wearing my Almost-Outta-Here_Hawaiian-Mumuu happy hour dress. It has flying fish on it.

Wa-HOOOOOOOO!!!!!

If you read through the multitude of comments on some of the news sites it becomes pretty evident that yes, they did just "marry spiritually" because the state doesn't allow polygamy. With no legal marriage, they aren't breaking state law. This also allows all these "unwed mothers" to collect welfare and virtually live off the state. They think they are "putting it to the outsiders" by doing this. In addition, this allows them to rearrange things from time to time, breaking up families and handing a "wife" of one man over to be the "wife" of another man when they see fit. Just an unbelievable situation.

I know that the whole thing will be traumatic for the kids, because they have been taught their whole lives to fear the outside world. But I have to think that getting them out of there and getting them help is far better than just turning a blind eye to the whole thing. At least some of them will have a chance to recover and move on with their lives. But I'm fairly certain that many of the adult women, having lived this lifestyle for so long, would willingly go back to it when released. Just so sad...

Highway, I understand your point about their not having broken state law because it's not a "legal marriage," and you make some other good points, but since they lived as man and wife, it's at least a commonlaw marriage.

That said, I'll leave your comments, and make a few of my own.

The main issue here, which cannot be altered by sincere ladies in prairie dresses and funny hairdos glaring at the camera and being self-rightous, or even being humble and gentle, is that this is rape. It's illegal for girls under the age of 17 to give consent to sexual intercourse in Texas, and it's illegal for a parent to give a child for sex. Parents in Texas can sign for children to marry once the children are 16, but not before. These children were not old enough to consent, and they weren't old enough for their folks to consent. Religious disdain for the law is no excuse for breaking the law.

There is no legal definition for this other than rape. It doesn't matter that they were raised to it, expected it, or even wanted it. They were not old enough under the law, so it is rape. Some children are raised to be prostitues, others raised to be thieves; that is illegal, and so is this. The veneer of Biblical posturing does not change the law, or the responsibility that those adults had to protect the safety of those children.

I don't understand how these adults can be so righteously indignant. Don't they realize that every adult in that compound, both those who raped, those who gave the girls to be raped, and those who stood by and knew about it but did nothing to stop it, are all going to jail? They are child rapists, panderers, and enablers of child rapists and panderers.

It really ticks me off that these idiots thought they could move to my home state and get away with this.

After a while, I might stop sugarcoating this, and tell you how I really feel. :)

These jerks are going away for a long time.

I'm just running out of the house, and have only been able to read the first few "setting up the situation" posts. These suggestions are not sequential, and I certainly don't mean that all of them should be (or even could be!) implemented at the same time. But any one of them alone might fit (or might not; only you will know). But if I may, please allow me to mention the following points:

1) have your child tested for dyslexia. In most places, even if the child is homeschooled, the school district in which the child resides is responsible to test for suspected learning disabilities. If there are suspected disabilities, it's free to get them tested in schoool, but much more expensive if you have to have it done privately (for college, for instance). Students with dyslexia do not generally do well in college unless they are protected by I.E.P.'s that prescribe, for instance, more time for tests, a note-taker in class, or audio recordings of textbooks. (Just wait until his first week of college, when he has to read five and six chapters a night.) If the tests show dyslexia, your teacher friend will have to admit that the child has it. Should your son's testing show a diagnosis of dyslexia, and your friend still not acknowledge it, this will help you decide whether you want that person to teach your son, no matter how nice he is.

2) Consider a move to the town where the person lives. If your husband isn't working, and you're homeschooling, there may be a better set of opportunities in the new town, but regardless, your son could still live with you while being taught by your friend.

3) get your husband to an employment counsellor. Many state employment offices provide this service. Inertia is a dangerous thing, and could keep him out of the workforce longer than he needs to be.

4) don't be so down on yourself. People don't have to know everything to homeschool their children; that's what the homeschool computer programs are for. I'm concerned that this potential teacher thinks that he knows more than the thousands of educators and physicians who do believe that dyslexia exists. If he's made you feel inferior, don't let him. I'm concerned that he seems to be pressuring you.

5) consider a good, local public school. They have dedicated teachers who really want to make a difference.

6) if this is all really about your friend being concerned about your sons being brought up in an unhealthy situation, consider whether he is right or wrong, and take action, if necessary.

Good luck with this; it's a hard decision. Only you will know which path is the right choice.

Tap . . . tap . . . Is this thing on?

It's been kind of a busy month here in the big town. How are you all doing?

My Mom, who is in late-stage Alzheimer's, fell and broke her hip late last week, and had a hip replacement this past Monday; everything went quite well, and she's back home at her facility, to undergo some physical therapy and healing. We've also been busy with work, school, scouts, and all of the usual children's activities. Finals week is within sight, and summer is on the horizon, so close that if I had a really good arm, I might be able to hit it with a rock.

I hope that Spring has finally taken firm hold wherever you live, and that it's a beautiful one. I hope that something unexpected and really neat happens to you today.

Love to you, niKa

I wish you good luck with this.

I have some osteo in my hands, and when I remember to faithfully take my glucosamine and chondroitin, my hands don't hurt. It takes a few weeks to start to work; it has to build up. One of the reasons I can get out of the habit of taking the supplements is that if one forgets for a few days, there's no immediate change; it's still got a built-up level. I travelled over Christmas, and didn't take it, and then just forgot when we returned home. I went about three months without the glucosamine and chondroitin. My hands tried to remind me, and finally the discomfort got loud enough to get my attention about two weeks ago. They are better as I type this, but they'll be a lot better in two or three more weeks.

My doctor said that there are several good studies which have shown that glucosamine and chondroitin can't hurt you, and a few that seem to show that it can help. I appear to be one of those whom it can help.

If you try it, I hope that it helps you, too.

Thanks, Socks!

What a great article! I'd never watched much public television while growing up, and didn't really understand much about who "Craig and Don and Them" were making fun of at the microphone; they used to get a laugh from the lunchroom crowd by lisping while while imitating Mr. Rogers, and insinuating that he was wimpy or gay. I have since read, however, that in real life, Fred Rogers was an ex-Marine. He wore long sleeves because he had tattoos on his arms. When my own children were young, they absolutely loved him. He was a wonderful neighbor to them. Besides, now they know how crayola crayons are made, and how teddy bears are sewn, and lots of other cool things.

It's true that the world could use a few more like him.

Twinky, you're delightful, and I'm praying that you won't be away for long. Good luck with the job search. We're on your side!!

Love, niKa

Amen.

Here's a poem that someone once read at the microphone, I think maybe at Emporia, but can't recall. But the poem speaks to the issue at work here, in my opinion. God sees our hearts, and He knows our motivation. I'm very thankful for the Greasespot Cafe, and for all the work that Paw has put into this space of healing.

Love is Brown!"

by Sam Graham

When I was a younger man, embarking on life's sea

I ran into a wise old friend whose life was full and free

His life had oft' inspired me, for in the Word he dwelled

His wisdom touched everything he did, and he ruled his household well.

I asked him for some sound advice to help me on my way

And I saw the twinkle in his eye as I listened to him say

Ah, you seek to understand love, I see, like most every other man.

You sing and laugh and dream of it, so tell me if you can

Give it just a little thought, then straightly answer me

If you could only see it, what color would love be?

Oh, that's easy" said I, "Blue just like the sky.

So big and all encompassing, so lofty and so high.

But wait, it might be green like leaves upon a tree

That show the world there's life inside for everyone to see.

Or gold that sets men's hearts afire, or white like new-fallen snow.

Or red that courses through our veins, to make our bodies glow."

My friend patiently listened, the twinkle still in his eye.

He slowly raised his eyebrows, then said to me, "Nice try ...

But lad I fear you've been misled, I hate to put you down.

There could only be one color for love," and he smiled as he said, "Brown."

"You're kidding me," I said laughingly, tipping back my hat.

"Dirt is brown and mud and muck--what's so beautiful 'bout that?"

"Exactly," said he, "It's easy to say you love someone when skies are blue or grass is green

Or the dawn is gold, cheeks are rosy and snow makes a fairyland of things.

But do you love him enough to pull him out of the mud if he is caught right in the thick?

To wade through the slime and cold for him; will you nurse him when he's sick?

And though you may get muddy in the try, will you give your best till he makes it through?

Well, if you're willing to do this for him, then surely you love him true.

"You see my friend, love is more than beauty; and if you want to wear its crown,

Then you must be willing to wade the mire of life.

You see. . . Love is brown."

Praying for the little and the big things; the speakable and the hard to discuss. Thank you for starting this topic.

God knows the hairs on our heads; He holds the sparrow in his hands. Are we not more precious?

Praying, Marcy. You are not alone. Be sure to try your state's employment service. Also try for some kind of work at a school or university near you - colleges often have an upswing of enrollees when the economy is weak. More students means more need for office and facilities staff. These can have decent insurance and retirement benefits. Praying, niKa.

Who paid, Twinky? Well, once, I did. I knew a girl who was pregnant, and didn't want to be, and I didn't know who the father was, and wasn't even that involved with them as friends; she was just a sweet kid in the twig. I had been so schooled that an abortion was no big deal that I gave some extra money that I happened to have that month. We didn't always have extra, but we did at that moment, and we thought that we were doing the Godly thing to free this girl up to move the word unencumbered.

As I look back on the event, some 25 years on now, I surely wish that hindsight weren't so . . . clarifying. It's a horrifying thing to know that I've donated to the death of a baby.

It's also horrifying to know that we were all schooled to think of a fetus in those terms, and that we used those definitions to do other harm, to other people, across so many years of involvement with The Way. The Way International contributed to the deaths of babies. There are a lot of reasons to dislike them, but that casual way of discarding life is one of the most important distinctions between them and a Godly ministry.

So what if they thought that life doesn't start until the first breath? Why does that negate the worth of the fetus? Selfish, manipulative, devilish A$$holes.

Sorry, Pawtucket; that may be the first time I've cussed on your website, I can't think of a more appropriate time.

I'd like to suggest an additional category for the things people did after TWI. "finished my education or otherwise re-trained for a profitable career."

That's one of the main reasons life has turned out happily for me.

love, niKa

That said, the "comfort zone" thing is kind of creepy. Some of the comfort zones that The Way overstepped were things like shyness speaking in front of people, or an unwillingness to work on the grounds crew, or stuff like that, which was just part of leadership training. But some of the comfort zones that The Way overstepped were pretty darn personal, and private, and sexual, so perhaps to avoid comparisons, this new group might want to clarify that one a bit.

Hey, they may do things right, or they may do things wrong. But I don't believe that they're setting out with "wrong" in mind.

I'll pray for them.

If you're still carrying around so much hurt (rightfully so, in many cases) that you don't want to pray for them, then I'm kind of thinking that praying for them might do you even more good than it does them.

Just a thought.

Peace.

Maybe they just want to teach some young people some of the good things they were taught back when someone inspired them. Maybe they did it in Mississippi because that's where they had some land. I'm willing to wait and see what they do, instead of slamming them for doing it before they ever really get started.

Maybe they want to do things right.

I'm not saying that I plan to support it, with anything besides prayers for safety, and such. But if you thought that you could do some good in the world with the tools and knowledge (and land?) that you had lying around, you'd try, right?

Who knows how this will turn out? They've already seen how to do it wrong, and so have the rest of us. If they make those same mistakes, it will be easy enough to tell.

Yesterday was wonderful; it must have been almost seventy. The warmer days have brought out the very first Spring flowers. My next-door neighbor planted a whole herd of bright yellow daffodils right next to her front porch, and they are a riot of color. The poignant part of this story is that when my sweet neighbor planted them, she did not yet know that she had cancer. She passed away during the winter. Her daffodils remain as a sign of the good that she did in the world, and left behind for us to enjoy. Her work and joy is still active, speaking to everyone who enjoys those flowers, the opening salvo of good weather. As a person, even when she knew that things would end badly, she never lost her joy, or her courage. I think of that now.

Here's to ya, Jean. Sweet rest.

I see that we now have 333 pages on this our thread of glory. Does that indicate some kind of Bullingeresque complete completeness? I don't know - this seems to be a bunch of people who are still growing and inventing themselves - it would be kind of nice if we never stopped doing that. I sure do like you guys, and it's been an interesting ride so far.

love, niKa

Hers was such a precious heart. She was one of the real ones. So many things can be said about her, but perhaps the most complimentary is simply to say "she loved God."

Praying!!! Love, niKa

Thanks, Rocky! Hi, Fellowshipper! I did indeed "see the Southern Cross for the first time," as the song says. I wandered outside one night, in Hokitika, realizing that I hadn't looked for it yet. I looked up, and within about ten seconds, picked it right out. I hadn't realized that it would be so low in the sky, or that it would be upside down, but it was so obvious that it couldn't have been anything else. That was a pretty neat moment.

Mr.niKa looks fifteen years younger than when he left in October; my stepdaughter didn't even recognize him in a crowd until he said her name. It's all that walking everywhere, in Wellington, and living a 40 minute walk from work, in a very, very hilly city. The trek in the Tasmanian bush last week (which took 8 days), to climb Federation Peak (which took 1 day, for 9 days total on a sort of self-structured LEAD) did not hurt his conditioning any, either. It's great to have him back, and healthy. I now must get out my OWN walking shoes, and get back to my aerobics class, to keep up! It'll be a good thing.

Love to you all, niKa

Hey, this is a shout-out to mah peeps. Rejoice with me! After being gone on Sabbatical since early October, my sweet husband returns TODAY!!! It was beyond great to get to visit him there for Christmas, but it will be a very, very big deal to have him back home with us on a daily basis. Dang, I've missed that guy!!

Praying still, Felix. For you, also, dear Jean. Praying for peace, comfort, courage, physical light into Felix's body. I don't know what that means, but perhaps you do. Praying for the right doors to be opened.

Love to you both.

Praying for Phil. Thanks for letting us know.

Just saw this, and I'm praying with you, Goey.

love, niKa

Hi, Tonto! Great to see you here!

And DWBH, just think of it as the Way Corps Version of War and Peace. If Spiderman was the main character, because he's the "imperfect" superhero. This thread is about five and a half years old now - it's kind of a cross between a diary, a biography, a high school reunion, and two men who walked into a bar. One had a parrot on his shoulder, and the parrot says . . . oh, wait, that was a derail. You know, that happens a lot on this thread. There are joys and heartbreaks and everything in between, told between people who had incredible experiences with one another, a lifetime ago. You certainly shouldn't try to read it all in one day, or even in one week. The continuity of the thing is just "love." Makes it right up your alley, my blessed brother.

I shall now go and dance in the kitchen in both your honors.