onegod

All Pro Quarterback.

The Coach had put together the perfect team for the Oakland Raiders. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghanistan soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 3rd-story window 200 yards away, ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away, ka-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90 mph, bulls-eye!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football, and the Raiders go on to win the Super Bowl for another time in history.

The young Afghani is hailed as the Great Hero of football, and when Coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son."

"I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands

of my adoring fans."

"No, let me tell you," his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your

two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight."

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "..I'll never forgive you for making us move to Oakland."

I could swear I just saw the light go on - are you sure no ones home??

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter,

do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's

on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabbit or a soft and fuwwy bwack

wabbit or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabbit over there?" She in turn puts

her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my python

weally givths a thit."

hmmm the light just came on - is anyone home?

how you been? Wife & kids doing great. Bridgette is in Greeley & Carrie is in Alamosa - one more left before the empty nest....

How are all you doing?

The Norwegians and Swedes were having one of their border disputes -- with their soldiers facing each other across the border.

At one point, the Swedes, getting pretty aggressive, threw a lot of dynamite sticks over the border at the Norwegians.

Well, this pretty much annoyed the Norwegians -- so they lit all the fuses and threw them back.

hmm the light seems on - is anyone home??

Wacky said:

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I can't even leave a little love message...nor receive one... frown

I just sit...and talk to myself...over and over and over again...

Does anyone have a solution???

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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

IRC

Singing Ladies of The Way: "Grand Daddy's Girl" (Daddy's Girl)

Ted Ferrell: "Let's All go down to the Drugstore" (Lets all go down the River)

Branded: "Picture of my Younger Self" (Picture of Myself)

Branded: "God's Geritol Country"(God's High Country)

High Country: "Stayin' on the Toilet Bowl" (Staying on the Bull)

Joyful Noise: "It's good to be out of Intensive Care Again" (It's good to be home again)

Been in Colorado for long time - Denver area.

Joel Knutson

quote:

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Originally posted by Digger:

TommyZ, I have 5 lp's with Sousa marching songs (i.e. God Bless America,, Star Spangled Banner)if you'd like them. Email me privately if interested, they'll go cheap

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I wouldn't mind getting a hold of your Sousa records, I love Sousa!! but ahemmm, Sousa didn't write God Bless America or the Star Spangled Banner and they aren't marches.