Zixar

Nah, Chinny couldn't have written it. She wouldn't have said "national antihistamine" instead of "natural antihistamine"...

Besides, semen contains a natural antibiotic, too. It's called "seminalplasmin".

Very scientific.

I kept hearing that Fox' show "24" with Kiefer Sutherland was really good, but just never got around to watching any of it.

Well, last night, Zixette rented the first disc (Midnight-4am) and we watched it straight through.

I sent her back in the morning to get the next two. We watched them this afternoon and evening. I would have hated to wait through six months to see the whole thing--the suspense between the episodes we've seen so far has been fantastic!

We're only up to the halfway point, so don't spoil the rest of it for me if you've seen it.

Very well-written show, good characters, it really sucks you in. Give it a try if you've never seen it!

Linda: Praise God! Glad to hear your Mom's ok. Another thing to watch is that hypokalemia (low potassium) often goes along with hyponatremia (low sodium).

With hypoglycemia too, it seems like she's a perfect candidate for an alternative therapy:

GATORADE!

God bless!

Zix

(Good ol' green Gatorade has sugar, sodium and potassium, all in one.)

Psalmie: This time, get an optical mouse. You'll no longer have to worry about dirt, but still keep the root beer away from it.

God bless!

Zix

John: Those kits only work when the power is turned off--you can't hot swap them like RAID 5 enclosures or USB drives.

Oh, that's a weird one for sure...

While we're playing "Spot the Wierwille", though, I always thought the angry American in the "Waldorf Salad" episode of John Cleese's "Fawlty Towers" looked and acted an awful lot like VPW...

Absolutely. God bless you all! (No offense, sudo!)

John: Go look at backups by a company called Exabyte--they have tape solutions that can handle up to 1.5 terabytes.

Of course, a 1.5 TB Exabyte drive will probably run you five grand or more...

They do have smaller ones, though.

Just a thought,

Zix

The simpler solution is to have a C drive for the OS, and have the RAID array be your main data drive. Use Drive Image to back up the C drive, and a high-capacity DAT drive to back up the array, since it will consist entirely of normal files, i.e., all the registry, boot sector, hidden file crap resides on C.

Remember that DVD-R can only hold 4.7 gigs per disc, and it takes a LONG time to write each disc. If you properly segregate your data and only keep OS files on C, you can probably keep it under 5 gigs and able to fit on a single DVD.

Then again, if you have a DAT drive to back up your RAID array, you might as well just use it to back up your C drive, too. Or, you could use your USB 2 portable to image your C.

This isn't really that complicated, guys!

John: RAID arrays are a lot less complicated than you think. It's a function of the controller rather than the drives. Here's how it works:

There are several levels of RAID arrays:

RAID Level 0 - Disk striping. In this configuration, two or more hard drives are logically combined so that a packet of data is written across all the drives. The advantage is speed--two (disk) heads are faster than one. The downside is that the system is immediately half as reliable, in that of one drive is lost, all the data is lost, because it's split amongst all the drives in the array.

RAID Level 1 - Disk mirroring. In this configuration, data is simply written to all drives in the array at once. Each drive gets the exact same data--a realtime backup. The advantage is increased reliability. If one drive fails, the other kicks in automatically. The downside is that you only get half the capacity in a two drive system.

RAID Levels 2-4 you can skip. None of them really has much advantage over the others.

RAID Level 5 - Error-correcting striping. In this config, three or more drives are linked together (typically 4 or 5 drives.) but the data is split up in the controller and error-correcting data is added before being striped across the disks. If one disk is lost, the others have enough info to re-create the lost data from the error-correction data. This makes the drives in a Level 5 array hot-swappable--you don't even have to take the server down to swap a bad drive. As soon as a new drive is put in the array, the others rebuild the old drive from their data. This is the most reliable, most cost effective per byte of storage configuration. The downside is that RAID controllers that can do Level 5 are more expensive than the typical Level 0-1 controllers found on some of today's motherboards, and that you lose one drive's worth of storage space in total to cover the error corrections. So, if you have 5 120GB drives in a lvl 5 array, the total space available will be 480GB instead of 600GB. Hot-swapping also requires a special drive enclosure.

RAID level 10 (sometimes called 1+0) - striped and mirrored drives. In this config, two pairs of striped drives are mirrored together, mixing levels 0 and 1. This takes four drives, but you get speed and security without the money hit for level 5. Most of the level 1/0 controllers will also do level 10, too. Four 120GB drives will give you 240GB of fast, mirrored space.

The good thing is that all of these configurations appear as a single logical drive to the operating system, so you can do anything to an array that you would do to a normal drive. So, you can use your regular tape backup on a RAID drive just fine. Of course, a fire will wipe out anything, including tape backups, too.

RAID 0 is good for a home gaming machine because of the speed.

RAID 1 is good for a home office PC because of the reliability.

RAID 5 is the best for people who need large amounts of secure, fast storage, and can afford it.

RAID 10 is the next best alternative for smaller servers.

Make more sense?

I'll send you my bill!

(Oh, RAID arrays aren't that difficult to set up. The controller does most of the work. You just have to tell it what kind of array you want, and let it grind away for a while.)

John: Easy. Two words: RAID Array.

God bless!

Zix

igotout: For a little extra twist, make sure you send them the exact same picture each time, but with a different name.

"My cat was just soooo cute last night! I managed to snap a picture..." (huge, over-flashed, red-eye pic of bored cat sitting on floor)

"You'll never believe what he did tonight! Look!"

(same pic)

"Bought a new Cadillac today, and it's FINE! Check it out!"

(same pic)

"Pipe burst last night in the laundry room. The plumber says it'll cost $4000 to fix! Look at all the damage! Here's the inside wall, outside wall, floor tile and garage"

(send same frickin' cat pic FOUR times)

Even more evil variation on a theme: Embed one of those REALLY annoying music-box-type songs into the emails along with the picture. "Pop Goes The Weasel" is a good vile choice for this. When every single email he gets from you blasts "PGTW" over his speakers... You get the idea.

>:)

Have fun!

Zix

If you happen to have one of those "friends" who forwards you fifty cans of spam a day, here's a good way to get even:

If they are on standard phone dialup, go to the library or any other place that has a high-speed/broadband connection to the Internet, and just start replying to every message they send you with the same message attached to a huge 500-kilobyte picture of your kitchen sink, or your favorite blank wall, or a bit of dirt on your porch that you found somewhat interesting.

When it takes the schmuck four hours to retrieve all his email due to your replies, one of two things will happen:

1) He'll get the message, or

2) He won't have any time left to forward you any more spam.

This is the electronic equivalent of "brickmailing". It used to be that companies who sent a lot of junk mail with Business Reply Mail return cards ("no postage necessary") could take a nasty hit on postage if you taped their Reply card to a brick and dropped it in the mailbox. Postage is charged by weight, after all. Alas, the post office won't take the bricks any more--too big. But for those clueless e-remailers, it's just the thing.

Double points if their ISP is AOL or WebTV. It's morally wrong to give the clueless an even break. (just kidding)

Another good idea is to set up one of those free Web-mail accounts at hotmail, yahoo, or excite, and only give that address out to others, especially businesses. These accounts typically use only your web browser to read them, so many of the viruses associated with Outlook are diminished. Also, turn off the setting in Outlook that automatically opens a message when it's highlighted. If you don't turn this off, the top message in your Inbox always gets opened automatically. If it's infected, you just got hit.

Never open any message from anyone you do not know. I have never, not once, in all my 20 years of computing, ever gotten an unsolicited email offer that was worth exploring. Delete, without opening, any message that comes in from anyone you do not know. Period.

Suspect and delete any message that starts out with the letters "Fw:" immediately. Anything forwarded to you is generally a stupid, time-wasting 20-year old joke or a maudlin anecdote about Jesus, friendship, or Africans needing to smuggle thirty million dollars out of Botswana. Friends don't send friends chain letters.

Everybody has a different sense of humor. In other words, those jokes you think are soooo funny, really don't need to be mass-forwarded to everyone in your address book just because *you* laughed.

If I give you my email address, I only want to hear from YOU. If you think something is just so pancreas-shatteringly funny that I just HAVE to see it, take the time to write and ASK first. I may have already seen it six times today and taken a mighty vow to hunt down and disembowel the next person who sends it to me. Don't be lucky number 7!

If your life is just so incomplete if you can't dump emails to your entire address book, for the love of Pete, save them all into one big digest and email them to me once a week only. That way, I only have to auto-erase one big message.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Zix

7-Up?

John: My router's the same, and I am logged in as the Admin. Still no joy in XP. I run TardisNT as a service and it updates the time every 15 minutes. No big deal.

Anybody besides me think they've gotten a LOT better since the last season? They've built up so much mistrust and paranoia it's a wonder if any of the goodfellas will survive to Season 5!

Just got back from this film.

Oh. My. God.

I've only seen it a zillion times since it came out in 1997, but you will not believe how it comes across in the IMAX format.

Even more impressive than seeing the Saturn V blast off on a 50-foot screen is the 40-speaker sound...

They had to edit out about 20 minutes, since the IMAX projector can only handle two hours of film max, but it was only noticeable if you knew where to look.

Zixette and I give it two colossal-screen-sized thumbs up!

Mucho-many happies to the NapkinLady!

God bless y'all!

Zix

The cardinal was coming to visit a very poor parish, and the priest did not know how he was going to serve a meal fit for him. The groundskeeper said, "Well, Father, I suppose I could try to catch something out of the stream."

"Splendid! The Lord will provide!" said the priest.

The groundskeeper took his rod and reel down to the stream and fished for hours. Finally, he felt a big tug on his line, and after several minutes of struggle, landed the biggest trout he had ever seen. Removing the hook, he picked up the fish and exclaimed "Son of a bitch! Look at that!"

He had not seen the Mother Superior approach, and was startled to hear her shout "WHAT did you just say?!?!"

"Oh, hello Mother Superior. Um, that's just the type of fish this is, a sonofabitch fish. Won't it make a lovely supper for the cardinal?"

"Oh, yes, indeed it will. I'd better take it along and get Sister Sara to start the stove."

The Mother Superior took the fish into the kitchen and starts cleaning it. Sister Sara comes in and says "What an excellent fish!" The Mother Superior says, "Yes, God has certainly blessed us. Now, start the stove while I clean the son of a bitch."

"MOTHER SUPERIOR!!!!"

"What? Oh! No, that's the type of fish this is, a sonofabitch fish."

The priest wanders into the kitchen to see what's going on. "Praise be! What a lovely fine fish for the cardinal's supper!" Sister Sara asks "Oh, yes Father, truly a blessing! How do you want the son of a bitch cooked?"

"SISTER SARA!!!"

"What? Oh! No, that's the type of fish this is, a sonofabitch fish." The Mother Superior nods her head in agreement with Sister Sara.

"Oh! Okay, hand me the cornmeal and I'll fry it while you two prepare the rest of the meal."

The cardinal arrives, and Sister Sara proudly serves the Cardinal his fish dinner. After he finishes, the cardinal says, "Faith, but that was as fine a fish as ever I've eaten! Pray tell me how it came to pass?"

The priest says proudly, "Well, Your Eminence, the groundskeeper caught the son of a bitch, The Mother Superior cleaned the son of a bitch, I fried the son of a bitch, and Sister Sara served you the son of a bitch!"

The cardinal looks at the priest for a moment, then kicks back in his chair, puts his feet up on the dinner table, lights a cigar and says "You know, you f*ckers are all right!"

I had the opportunity to read the screenplay for Kubrick's masterful comedy the other day while researching my own screenplay-in-progress.

Several things struck me as I paged through it and recalled the film:

-The rule of thumb for a film screenplay is that one page of script equals one minute of film, so writers are advised to shoot for no less than 80 pages and no more than 120 pages for a feature film. Dr. Strangelove is only 55 pages long, but the dialogue hits the perfect blend of satire and drama. (The movie runs 93 minutes.)

-I could just see George C. Scott showing he was just as keen a comic as he was an actor. "He'll see the Big Board!!!"

-Peter Sellers did not get half the credit he deserved in his life. It's obvious he played Group Captain Mandrake, and you can see him as Dr. Strangelove, but I think I saw it three times before I realized he was playing President Muffley as well. As the story goes, Sellers was even going to play Slim Pickens' character (Major Kong) but couldn't quite nail the Texas accent. He had also broken his leg before shooting started, which is why Muffley is always seated, Strangelove only leaves his wheelchair once ("Mein Fuehrer, I can VALK!") and Mandrake always walks with a cane.

-Sellers also gives one of the best phone gags ever filmed, the conversation between Muffley and Soviet Premier Kissov. It's the best deadpan-comedy bit I can remember.

-Kubrick wanted Pickens to play Major Kong absolutely straight, so he didn't tell him it was a comedy until after shooting wrapped.

- Fail Safe, with Henry Fonda and Larry Hagman is nearly the exact same movie, yet it's depressing as hell. As always, the script/direction/acting/perception shapes the same idea to two wildly different ends. Dr. Strangelove has aged better than Fail Safe because comedy helps the suspension of disbelief.

There's not just one reason the AFI rates this as #11 on their 100 Best Movies of All Time list.

OLM: Um, actually, James Cameron (Aliens, Titanic, True Lies) directed the Terminator movies, not John Carpenter.

Carpenter directed Halloween and Escape From New York...

Kit: It does if you right-click on the clock in the lower right hand corner, go to Adjust Date/Time, and set it to do so in the Internet tab. This doesn't work behind a firewall, however. If you have problems, do a web search for Tardis95. It'll work through just about anything.

God bless!

Zix

With the release of the new computer game/sequel, I thought I'd pick up the Collector's Edition DVD of John Carpenter's 1982 horror masterpiece, "The Thing". Wow. I watched it twice in a row the night I got it.

An Antarctic research station encounters a deadly extraterrestrial that can imitate and invade any living organism. Who can you trust when your friend might be a monster?

Closer to the original short story than Howard Hawks' 1951 version, this claustrophobic, ultra-gory paranoia machine is not for the squeamish. Rob Bottin's special effects are some of the most disturbing ever filmed. Coupled with a creepy Ennio Morricone score, and a wonderful ensemble cast, this is the stuff of which nightmares are made.

The running commentary feature on the DVD is marvelous, featuring both director Carpenter and star Kurt Russell. They make a few points I hadn't noticed:

-The movie has no humor in it. Most action movies today have the heroes firing off pithy quips as fast as armor-piercing bullets, but there's really only one joke in this whole movie, and nobody laughs when it happens. (Hint: David Clennon's character, Palmer, says it, although I disagree with Carpenter--Donald Moffatt's "couch" line is funnier.)

-The movie frequently has scenes where nine or ten characters are in the shot simultaneously. In most movies, you rarely have more than 3 characters with dialogue in a single shot. This was a directorial nightmare, but Carpenter pulls it off on several occasions.

-Most of the scenes in the beginning with the sled dog were shot in only one or two takes. Jed, the half-wolf/half-husky dog actor was simply incredible. Watch him closely and you'll see it, especially in the hallway sequence.

So, yes, it isn't for the faint of heart, but look past all the incredible gross-out special effects, and you'll see why this movie, a box-office flop when it was released against "E.T." in the summer of '82, is on most sci-fi fans' all time Top Ten list.

Watch it again.

With the lights on...

bookworm: Glad it helped! Here's another tip: if you do have a cat that has started vomiting regularly, yet is still having normal bowel movements (i.e., no obvious intestinal blockage), check to see if what the cat is bringing back up has been chewed or swallowed whole.

If it looks like it was swallowed whole, your cat's teeth may be bothering him/her. This is also indicated if your cat starts losing weight. Our eldest female, Sunny, had this problem, vomiting unchewed food and weight loss, yet otherwise healthy and normal. A veterinary tooth cleaning cleared the problem up overnight.

FYI,

Zix