100% Free

A LC publically sharing about how watching a soap opera (Y&R) brought him closer to his wife and understanding her better.

(She was a bitchy drama queen- maybe it did explain her!)

So, my question is, how many of you were bullied or abused? Do you think it had an effect on your involvement with twi?

I really think it did. It was the first time in my life I felt accepted. I had gone to different churches over the years, but even as a young child I was able to realize when something (religion, church-wise) was not for me.

When I was about 17, I was witnessed to by a couple who taught me an eastern prayer that was supposed help me get whatever I wanted. At first I was excited about it, as if it would be a magical cure for my life. I agreed to go to a meeting with them the next day.

I went home that night and practiced the prayer I'd memorized. It was in a language I didn't know. The more I recited it the heavier my heart became. I kept looking at my bible sitting on my desk and I didn't want to do the prayer anymore.

I did want a magical cure to my life, I did want things. But it hit me how selfish the prayer seemed, even though I didn't know what I was saying. But the motive was all wrong and I felt like I was betraying God.

So when they called me the next day to arrange to pick me up, I told them I'd changed my mind. They both tried talking to me, but it ended with me saying "I agree I may not know what is right,but I do know this is wrong." I didn't let them pressure me, tempt me or guilt me into going to the meeting.

I went from being the kind of person who believed in my freedom to choose my beliefs-to devoting too many years of my life to the craziness of twi. Even when I knew it it was destroying me.

twi had given me acceptance after being treated like an outsider. twi had won my loyalty so I stood by them even though it screamed insanity to do so.

The wowzies that witnessed to me were young and fun. I couldn't wait to be around them. They gave me the friendship and validation I desperately wanted.

Besides being horribly bullied, my home life wasn't so great. I did have a family that loved me and I try to remember the good things when I think about it. But my parents had a lot of problems. They didn't pay attention to me and were not very encouraging. They didn't even open my report cards, did not care or notice if I was ditching school.

I think they were releved I immediately went wowzie, because it gave me somewhere to go and something to do that would not require any effort on their part. Again, they did love me but they were too involved in their own problems.

So yes, I do think a lifetime of being bullied and abused along with the problems at home had a huge effect on my involvment with twi.

I also think if twi hadn't come along I would have grown up as people do and figured things out. Because after twi, I did.

twi caused a huge detour on my way to self discovery and healing.

OK- Long enough post!

You'd have to have OCD to think stringing chairs mattered.

Glad you figured a reasonable solution.

A lack of empathy was encouraged by twi leaders, at least in my experience. When I marked and avoided my parents (encouraged by leadership) I had a few weeks of times where I would burst into tears. Most of these were brought on by thinking of how my parents felt, anc my siblings, and my grandparents, etc. it hurt to think of how I hurt them. I sought counsel from my leadership - their advice? Stop thinking about how they feel. Stop putting yourself in their place. That isn't according to the Word... and they are no longer part of the Household. Don't concern yourself with them. The best thing to do if you really love them is to stand on the Word and Mark and Avoid them. This MIGHT get them to the point of godly sorrow where they might be able to come back. In reality, you are saving their lives by doing this.

I turned off my empathy by doing what they said and became a bully with the best intentions.

Java Jane,

It's understandable to me, I went along with the same crap they fed me. I look back on people I was unkind to, truly thinking I was being bold spiritually- thus helping them. Yikes. I cringe now when I think of it. I was loyal to the wrong people. I let go of some people that would have been true friends.

I hope you don't mind me asking but, is your relationship with your parents restored?

What you previously shared about your brother stayed with me. I still think about him and pray for him.

Did twi tell you in not so many words that the reason you were bullied and abused was because of your believing? I was, as a child, mistreated SOMETIMES, but even back then I thought it was, what amounts to, that's the way the socialogical cookie crumbles. In twi I prayed about stuff like that, but those twi people were not unkind to me and that seemed to make a big difference.

I don't remember really.

But now that you say it, I am reminded of my Mother.

She would always tell me "Oh they are just jealous of you". Those words didn't help and certainly didn't bring any comfort.

Yeah right. Everyone was jealous of the girl who was beat up, tortured and verbally abused. Who wouldn't wish to be that? LOL.

I guess she didn't know what to do.

But like you, it did make a big difference the twi people were nice to me. At first.

Exie;

A lot of us were insecure. The actress Sally Field stated this: "I was raised to sense what someone wanted me to be and be that kind of person. It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes."

It is a journey and a process and we come out stronger!

Thanks for sharing that. Going from being the designated peace maker in my family growing up to immediately joining twi- I totally understand what this means.

Standing up for myself has been a learning process, but I really do feel stronger the more I do it. And free.

for me, i think the hook was so inviting because of past abuse

this is just what i'm thinking now

i was very insecure deep inside -- had not even begun to discover my "core" self -- so i guess i bought into their definition of my core self

does that make sense?

Makes total sense to me. I was deeply insecure too. I was one of those kids who was unmercifully bullied and abused from grade school all the way through high school.

I was lonely and desperate for love, friendship and acceptance.

I felt safe with them because they were Christian.

Too young and damaged to even have a clue about my core self, so I too bought into their definition of who I should be.

It never really fit.

Re: the sixth corps guy who nodded off: If your blood sugar is high enough, you WILL nod off. I'm surprised that VP, being such a great and might man of God, didn't get revelation that this guy needed some medical help or at least ministered to him for healing of his blood sugar imbalance.

But then that wouldn't have scared the daylights out of the rest of the hapless souls in the room, would it?

Shame on him! Shame!

Hi Watered Garden,

Nice to hear your point of view. I've missed your posts, have you been gone or did I just not see them? :)

The 3rd Wierwille Major Confrontation.....previously mentioned.

Sitting in the OSC Dining Room during Corps Night [those transition years moving from the BRC and waiting for the Auditorium to be built]........where wierwille was going thru his "literal translations according to usage" in the Book of Romans. While most corps took notes furiously, there were others in the back who didn't take these meetings quite so serious or spiritual.

Anyways..........about an hour into the corps meeting, and this 6th corps guy is starting to nod off. Problem was..... he was near the front, somewhere near the fourth or fifth row, and in eye-shot of wierwille. Well, the nodding increased and the closed-eyelids-duration was becoming visibly evident. And, even though a couple of nearby corps tried to help this fellow stay awake.........it just wasn't meant to be.

And, then it happened......wierwille's eyes fixed on a NODDING, DOZING CORPS GRAD who had the audacity, and no spirituality, to sleep while wierwille taught from Romans!!! This "act of disrespect" demanded the most intense verbal lashing that wierwille could muster......and thus it was. Red-faced with anger, and neck-veins visible...... wierwille launched into this tirade to strip bare every thread of self-worth that this corps grad had. On and on the verbal lashing went........not 20 stripes, not 25 stripes, not 30 stripes, not 35 stripes........BUT 39 VICIOUS, VERBAL STRIPES.......just one short of total and utter demoralization.

Wierwille's anger could not be contained.....he went back stage and Craig came out as if *to tag-team* the effort some more. It was horrendous and awful and disgraceful. Man, in hindsight.....I wish that I'd stood up and yelled at the top of my lungs........SHUT THE HECK UP AND LET HIM BE.

The corps guy was escorted from the room......and wierwille came back, after about 10 minutes, to finish his teaching. But we'd already SEEN his teaching and lifestyle......who needed to take more notes???

The next morning......word spread that the 6th Corps staff guy was fired and sent packing.

Need to add.......this corps guy, after seeking medical help awhile later, found out that he had a blood-sugar problem and he was treated for it. Prescription medicine helped him to not doze off. Guess wierwille nor martindale saw deep enough to HELP this guy

I feel sick. Is that guy OK now? I hope so.

I heard the loyster was bitter about how he was treated.

I wonder if those who still defend him know about this stuff.

Hmm. I guess that means that when LCM was ousted in 2000 a void was created and that's the REAL reason 911 happened. Right?

No. But ironically about a week or two before 9/11, there was a live SNS teaching from HQ. The guy teaching used the World Trade Center as an example of having a strong foundation because the 1993 attack didn't completely destroy the buildings.

I've marked and avoided the way international.

LOL. Did you send them an official letter?

When someone we were sponsoring in the corpsey was dropped, we would get a letter about their spiritual weaknesses. Talk about slander.

They sent out slanderous tapes and letters about people.

They could dish it out but they couldn't take it. If they had to endure one tenth of what they put other people through they'd all be curled up in a permanent fetal position.

I really began to understand this a couple years before I left. I needed healing for my child and all Rosie ever said to me was just keep serving. I put my entire self into their teachings and counsel to find that I needed to try just a little harder. They always seemed to blame me and the Mrs. when their methods failed. It was a truly heartbreaking time.

But hey, it's what it took for me to rid my family of this false ministry so in retrospect I am happy to be free of them.

I hope your child is better now.

Getting reamed for not believing to have good weather was really stupid. They need to watch Bruce Almighty to see what happened when he moved the moon.

Congrats!! (just kidding) I joke with my wife that my goal with the way international is to be permanently marked and avoided. I am pretty sure that has happened since I am sure they know who I am.

Sorry, you had to deal with that but it does seem that people who received the rants were usually right to begin with, or victims of the MOG's whim.

If I revealed what he ranted about, people would scratch their heads. It was ridiculous. But sadly it changed the life of somebody else forever, and not in a good way. At the time, I wasn't strong enough to stop it.

BTW- I was never M & A. But the lunch time rant tape about me that was circulated to the other root locales and feild leadership had a profoundly negative effect on my life for a long time.

Let me add this. Craig and Vicster were in charge and anyone who dared dissent was dealt with harshly. Rosie is no different, except she coats her harshness in saccharin. Now, Craig and Vic loved rambling on and on whenever they had a microphone. Rosie appears to have delegated most of the so called "teaching" to a preselected panel. Even the noon meal emcees know months in advance when their scheduled week. But she so tightly micromanages what is said that she may as well speak it herself. From the STS, AC specials, noon meal emcees, etc. all have a format and layers of control. And God forbid something rubs her the wrong way because you will know about it ASAP. So she holds the power while some boot licking stooge holds the mic.

There is a legal side to this as well since she doesn't want recordings to be used as evidence against TWI in court.

They used to tape them in case Loyster got revelation. Sometimes if he ranted on for a couple hours he would end up by patting himself on the back then say he wanted a tape sent to the other "campuses". Sometimes it would be sent to leaders or all corpsey on the feild.

I know this because I was once the subject of one of these famous lunch time rants. It was well over an hour and sent to all the "root" locations and leaders on the "feild".

Isn't the lunchtime meal.....MANDATORY?

Perhaps, not in writing....but stern warnings are issued about the IMPORTANCE of these midday "announcements." In other words, if you mess up on something because you didn't hear that "memo" tucked in 40 minutes of ranting.....then it's YOUR FAULT.

See...that's how manipulative the whole outfit is. If numbers of staffers start to skip the meals, the higher ups are hellbent on TARGETING YOU and thwart your individuality!

I once skipped lunch and took a nap. Nobody caught me. It was awesome. LOL.

From time to time when either of them went on one of their famous tirades, I thought it was a spiritual takeover.

I thought I was part of something important and Godly. But now I know I was only watching inept leaders throwing temper tantrums to avoid doing any real work. We should have called all of them a Waaaaahmbulance. Big immature egotistical self serving cry babies who did not serve God or God's people. Only served themselves.

DogLover.....I don't know how it happened, the reason for the accident. Wierwille was 66 years old at that time.

What I do know:

In 1983, when wierwille wrecked his twig-hopper in Ontario.....it was hauled back to hq in complete secrecy!! The front fender was bent some and the left side was scraped. A few decals had been knocked off. The guys in Flight Services, especially Jeff, were adept at paint detailing, pin-striping, leather upholstery, instrument panels, touch-up painting, etc. Therefore, the Ambassador One staffers and other insiders were designated to set up a closed-in paint booth in the OSC Warehouse and repaired it and repainted it....and added even more decals for those motorcycle shows.

Even to this day, few have ever heard about it. Kinda like a secret society......no one broke silence! No one leaked the information that the twig-hopper had been wrecked. In the aura of wierwille-mogdom, this type of incident would simply diminish wierwille's stature.

And, the mystique of wierwille lives on in the splinter groups today.

They would be hard pressed to rant and rave about the lack of good stewardship or slothfulness in the lives of others if this ever got out. Everyone else is always wrong or possesed.....

We were in that upstairs room over the dining room at Emporia, at the start of a meeting, LCM started yelling and acreaming at some corps who WALKED IN FRONT OF THE STAGE before the meeting started.

Yep. Can't admit a twileader had a wreck because it would make yelling and screaming at someone for accidently crossing in front of a stage seem stupid.

Delusions of Grandeur...??

1) Victor Paul Wierwille as "THE man of God"

2) The Wierwille family MUST stand together on the "word of God" or.....splat!

No Wierwilles around and it has gone splat. Bet they don't say that now......... Oh yeah, the revelation must have changed.

100% Free, Your post about the "musician" really tickled me. Thanks for sharing that.

You're welcome. btw, I love dogs too!

The good thing about the internet is, if somebody claims to have been an amazing football player it now only takes a minute to find out if it's true.

One leader I knew had been in a band for a short while. There was even an album. I don't know what label if any, had signed them. But it was really bad, don't think many bought it. He held on to an old record player so he could relive his glory days. I had to refrain from cringing when he played it. Even w/out him going into the corpsey he would have never been a succesful musician.

He hadn't played or practiced in years, but it seemed like he held on to this belief that he had sacrificed fame and fortune to serve the one true God. He acted all noble about it. I alternated between feeling sorry for him or wanting to laugh.

He held up himself and his short lived, unremarkable music career as an example to the rest of the household. The last time I heard him teach, he was still bringing it up twenty something years later.

Posted 22 December 2011 - 01:12 PM

Yeah Yeah Yeah. Just like the Loyster could run a fortune 500 co, Hi Co Caravan could make Nashville, all Waaaaahcorpse can immediately walk into at least middle management upon leaving full time staff......Yada Yada Yada....

Hey that would make a funny thread. What other delusions of grandeur were there that people claimed to give up to serve twi?

OldSkool, the detailed names, numbers, schedules, plans.... Ugh. I was never WC (and I thank God for that) but your description reminded me of a time I went to visit another believer in another state who was a mutual friend of my fellowship coordinator. I didn't leave my vacation plans (as specified above) because :

1. It was stupid, and I was starting to wake up.

2. My fellowship coordinator had my cell number.

3. My fellowship coordinator was close friends with the believer I was visiting.

4. I was gong to be attending the region fellowship while there (the region coordinator had invited me on the phone and I had said yes.)

Well after being there for a few hours I got a call from my fellowship coordinator yelling and screaming that I hadn't filled out the proper forms. I calmly asked "why do you need that information?". The answer? "Because if there was an emergency, how would I be able to get ahold of you?". My response - "how did you just get ahold of me?"

Silence.

"And you know I am visiting our friend - you have her number."

Silence.

"And Rev. ________ will see me twice before I leave. I know you have his number."

Silence.

The final words from my fellowship coordinator were "This is not how we do things. I am going to speak with the Limb Coordinator and we will have a meeting when you get back."

No such meeting materialized. I was going Way D that year and I think they were afraid I would unvolunteer myself from that honor if they pushed too far.

Merry Christmas.

I remember the insanity of the "itineraries". I could actually just sign your post with my name, as the experiences are almost identical.

Yeah Yeah Yeah. Just like the Loyster could run a fortune 500 co, Hi Co Caravan could make Nashville, all Waaaaahcorpse can immediately walk into at least middle management upon leaving full time staff......Yada Yada Yada....

Hey that would make a funny thread. What other delusions of grandeur were there that people claimed to give up to serve twi?

And the irony? I now have very little reason to drink anymore since I left the Way.

LOL. How true.

I have always liked Christmas. But for a long time, I pretended not to, because of my involvement w/ twi. I led a Christmas "double life". :blink: I found ways and great people to spend Christmas with and have fun. Then I would return myself to the sour pusses. Any twi HO HO I experienced was dry, dull and depressive and usually concluded with a gift presentation being made to an arrogant, inept and unkind leader. We would applaud as if they really had blessed our lives all year. Their egos were fed, our hearts were starved for the kind and loving festivities non twi people were experiencing.

I will never waste another Christmas again if I can help it. (And I'm not talking about gifts. I'm talking about wasting time with Miserable Comforters).

I love the cheerfulness, colors, scents, sights, sounds and tastes of Christmas. I like how people try to be nice. I like gathering with kind people and the warmth and coziness we all share. I like wrapping paper and how pretty it is, the smell of a Christmas tree and the bright happy lights.

I love it and I say Merry Christmas as much as I can. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Okay, I have to admit that it takes some talent to set up the entire body of Christ as enemy to people who claim to be Christian. It takes talent or some kind of strange Voodoo magic to convince a large group of people they are the only ones on the entire planet who have the complete package. It wasn't just the RC's it was everyone else whom we considered inferior or demon possessed. That kind of arrogance breeds serious contempt.

If it wasn't so tragic it would actually be funny. It was all so stupid when you look at it on paper.