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Parents of twi kids


Bolshevik
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I HATED wooden spoons. Funny thing though, my house always seemed to be lacking them and I'd hate to do the math to see how much was spent (by others) to make sure I had some.

Then again, it could have been that one day I showed the kids how quickly our blue and gold macaw could bite thru a wooden spoon (one 300 lb. per sq. inch bite did the trick) and then the fun she had making toothpicks out of the spoon end of it. Naaaahhhh, *that* moment of (planned) amusement couldn't be the reason all the spoons kept getting fed to the bird as soon as they entered the house, via some caring Twit.

Grandma finally did figure out I was the one who taught them I think. She started to leave her spoon at home when she came over to visit, knowing if it was spotted by the kids, it wouldn't be going back home with her and there would be one very happy bird making toothpicks. :)

My kids, when they did something wrong, were very easy to correct. I simply sat down and talked to them and explained why whatever it was they did was not a good thing. They understood and wouldn't do it again. I didn't need a spoon, except for cooking their meals.

Now that they are grown, I have apologized to them for the few times I did use a spoon on them and they told me not to even think about it .. they know exactly where it came from and it was TWI, not Mom. I quickly found a way to never have spoons around to be used on them and we talked things out to get them settled.

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We stayed in TWI longer than most people. We left in July of 2000. Both our girls (now 20 & 16) were born into it.

We NEVER, EVER forced TWI's doctrine on our children. We never made them memorize bible verses. We didn't "teach" them to speak in tongues. We didn't tell them to pray for the MOG. We never made them take classes or watch TWI videos.

They went to children's fellowship when there was one - which in our fellowship was only on Sunday - and was apart from the adult fellowship. During the week either John or I would stay home with them and the other would go to fellowship. School and bedtime were the reasons, and our leaders who also had kids, seemed to understand that.

We used a wooden spoon on rare occasions - very rare. We mostly just flicked the back of their hand if they were behaving badly. Most of the time, all I had to do was give them a "look". They were (and still are) good kids, and got the message without us resorting to anything harsh.

Even the few years when we were enjoying TWI, we decided that if we forced our beliefs on our children, they'd rebel against them when they got older - which is what both of US did to our parents (John was raised Catholic, I was Jewish!). We felt that if we just lived our lives well, taught them the "golden rule" and some other simple bible teachings --and we let them know what we believed without shoving it down their throats, they'd make the right decision when it was time for them to do so.

It got more intense after LCM's class came out. When my oldest turned 12 the BC's expected her to take it. I told the BC's that while she was in school it wasn't going to happen - that it could wait until summer break. When the time approached, I arranged for her to take a 3 week "People to People" trip that happened to be at the same time the class would be running! Oops! My bad! By then - TWI was so corrupt, the teachings were so strange and the legalism was so obnoxious that there was no way I'd let my DOG sit through LCM's teachings. Shortly before we left, I told the BC that the teaching about Eve was too strange for my daughter to understand - among other things. He actually said "I know the class is not 'easy to be entreated', maybe it'll be better for her to sit through it when she's older". He never raised the issue with me again.

So we got lucky - and I believe we did the right thing. I saw too may "Way-bot" kids - it was pretty frightening - I couldn't stand it if mine were like that.

What do our girls believe now? The older one declares herself to be an atheist / agnostic / sometimes Buddahist (more philosophically than spiritually - depending on her mood). She remembers more of the TWI experiences than her younger sister and believes it was a cult. She doesn't resent us for our participation, but is glad we're no longer involved.

The younger one used to attend a large youth group on Friday night at a local, non-denominational church - but stopped attending when she started High School. She still goes to a week of the summer camp they offer - it's a lot of fun and a bunch of her friends go. The teachings can be a bit charismatic -- some kids raise holy hands. She doesn't and won't because she knows that if she did it wouldn't be sincere.

I admire both of them. They're lovely, intelligent, talented young women who (I hope) will make the right decisions for themselves. I'm a very fortunate mom!

Edited by Hope R.
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