Kit Sober Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 (edited) Dave and I were having a discussion about "Chick movies" and out of the kindness of his heart, he sent this: quote:Hello ... Yesterday was the happy ending of the hatred and discontent here caused by the unfortunate circumstance of having two roosters and one hen. The story starts with a rooster showing up here three years ago that somebody evidently dropped off along the road somewhere. Perhaps he was a fighting cock. In any event, he showed up injured and decided to stay. So we enjoyed his crowing in the morning, put food out for him from time to time, and enjoyed the ambiance he added to the place. A true free range chicken! As the year went by, Ernie decided to do some social engineering on behalf of Rooster and so announced on his radio program that there was a lonely rooster around here that sure could use some hens to socialize with. It wasn't too many days until one of his listeners dropped off two hens, who were scared to death when they arrived. But once they saw Rooster Cogborn they made a bee line for him and must have said something like "My Hero" to him, since he immediately took them under his wing and, much to Fluff's chagrin and surprise, he no longer ran away when Fluff chased him (Fluff is the Sander's old poodle). Anyway, it was a happy summer, fall, and then winter. One of the hens got killed by something out of the river, probably an otter, or other such critter. But Rooster and the other hen lived on, even made it through the coldest winter we've had in years. By spring the fellow who brought the hens thought he'd add to Rooster's harem and brought two little chicks and another two full grown hens. So now Rooster was also a papa and had to train the young brats how to behave. Shortly afterward the surviving hen from the first "present" was hit by a car and so I burried her alongside the first one. Seemed a shame that she'd survived the brutal winter only to be hit by a car once spring came. Anyway, the trouble with chicks is you can't tell if they are male or female and so it turned out that one of the chicks was a rooster- bad news! Disention and challenge in the ranks. I called him Brat Rooster. But for a time everything was fine as Rooster had his hens and the two youngins hung out together and suffered old Rooster's training. But a chicken hawk took off with one of the hens, some varmit got the other one, and now Rooster had only the two little ones- and had to keep them in order, an increasingly difficult job as regards Brat Rooster. But last winter went by and they all survived. By spring Brat Rooster figured he'd had enough of the old man and so decided to take him on in mortal combat. When I got to the scene and split them up they were both bloody from head to tail- Mel Gibson would have been happy to see all the gore. So I told Ernie he'd have to make a decision because without doing so he would be giving the death sentence to Old Rooster. In typical Ernie fashion, he made no decision and so a week or so later, young Rooster, having had a taste of blood, decided he liked it and again attacked Old Rooster. This time he poked out Old Rooster's right eye. Again I told Ernie he had to do something and again Ernie did nothing. So I took on the duty of being Old Rooster's security guard and the war was on- not only between the two roosters but between Ernie and me as well. I was not about to let the "chick who became a rooster" destroy the very one that Ernie and his social engineering had attempted to help. And so it's been a rather ugly summer as I've kept Old Rooster in the shop at night to protect him, cleaned up his droppings and drove off the young rooster whenever I've seen him. I've suggested chicken dinner to Ernie as an option for young rooster, but someone would actually have to catch him, kill him, pluck his feathers and gut him, and we're all way to civilized for that- better to just pick up some Kentucky Fried and not think about how they got the chicken to fry. I've cautioned Old Rooster that one-eyed roosters get little respect and told him to forget the girl since blind roosters get no respect and pointed out to him that were the girl was young rooster was never far away. But roosters will be roosters and it's not in their nature to leave hens alone if they can help it. But finallly after months of this season of discontent Ernie finally agreed to take the young rooster to Amish country around Middlefield and find a home for him if we could catch him. If I'd have had a gun he'd have been gone before Old Rooster lost his eye. But I didn't. And so at Ernie's church picnic last Sunday I'd had enough. Mathew (who wanted Young Rooster gone as much as I did) had told some of the children to chase him and kill him if they could. This didn't seem like a very good suggestion to kids at a church picnic and so I told them to stop and later told Ernie that although he might think it was funny, it certainly wasn't and his indecision was a terrible example to teach to his son, not to mention the other children in his church. So yesterday I set food out in the foyer of the shop and left the front door open. Sure enough young rooster took the bait, Mathew closed the front door, told his dad, we put young rooster in a cage and I drove and Ernie and Mathew rode along on our quest to find a new home for Brat Rooster. Ernie wanted to just let him go in a woods somewhere but I suggested that would be like his picketing an abortion clinic, talking a girl out of having an abortion, and then taking the child onced he was born and droping him off in the woods. He didn't much like that analogy and so, although he continued to mumble about this taking all of his day (it actually took about a half hour) we stopped at only two farms before we found an Amish family happy to have him. When he was let out of his cage and saw all the hens around he knew he was in heaven. How long he'll be able to enjoy his new situation depends entirely on him and weither or not he can reach an accomodation with the other young rooster already there. If not, he'll be on the table for dinner since farmers are much more practical then us city folks. My guess is that he won't last long since he's already had a taste of blood and took out Old Rooster's eye. My brief foray into chicken research informed me that some roosters are canibals, and if so, he's one. Saw him eating dead carion by the roadside not long ago- maybe he's part vulture- the chick that turned into a rooster. And the whole story starts with a well meaning jesture on the part of one of Ernie's fans- who didn't want the "chick" back when informed he as a rooster. But last night Old Rooster got to stay outside for the night with the girl and they both seemed happy enough. Hopefully all the chicken hawks and other varmits of the wild stay away so they can live happily ever after. Ernie was told by the chicken guy that chickens didn't live much longer than six years and we figure Old Rooster has to be six at least. But I think that line was more convenient thinking on Ernie's part, hoping Old Rooster would die so he wouldn't have to make a decision. But in my "chicken research" I came across a site about a pet rooster that died at the ripe old age of 13 so I doubt that either Ernie or the chicken guy know what they are talking about. 13 isn't even close to six. And I don't know of any other domestic animal that has such a short lifespan as 6 years. (although the vast majority probably don't see 2 years before they're off to Kentucky Fried.) Anyway, things are looking up here these days. Best wishes, Dave (he writes as nice as he is,and I thought you'd like it.--kit) Edited July 31, 2004 by Kit Sober Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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