My recommendations under these conditions is to stay with your spouse and family even if they are still gung ho. Just bide your time. Ultimately, the hypocrisy of twi2 and the bot will do more to convince your spouse and family that it is time to leave than you will... Then when they suggest it, that's the time to concur and make plans to LEAVE ON YOUR TERMS.
I married my spouse, not twi. Although I did not realize enough at the time to express my heart in those exact words, looking back on the end of our tenure in twi2, those words characterized my actions completely. During those many months, I was beginning to realize that things were very wrong, but she was still gung ho. It was a confusing, heart wrenching and unstable time. With every new threat that came from headquarters, my heart had been tugging at my mind a little bit more whispering, "this does not fit with the heart of the Word we were taught". I guess that began when we both were ashamed to bring in new people to fellowship or headquarters because of the out-of-control, incongrouos behavior of lcm. But that was only the beginning. lcm gradually amassed more control as the local twigs became less self-governing. His threats grew in number and in volume.
Soon she was threataining to leave me because she did not see me getting rid of the "weakness" in my life quickly enough. I was trying, but we all know habits die hard. But I was not an evil person, like I was being treated. She never said it, but I could tell that she was going through a tug of war too. She would threaten me, echoing the threats of lcm. She would shout that she was going to leave me. We got in more and more arguments as twi2 strayed further and further from what had originally attracted both of us to the ministry. But then soon afterward she would be back to her loving self. That told me that she too was being torn. Because of that I tried to ignore the tirades. I tried to still be tender to her.
Nothing is worth leaving your spouse over if there is a spark of that old fire left. It may be fanned, stoked and rekindled if you just don't quit. Why did I keep trying? Beacuse I loved her. I promised God I would do so under every condition. Soon conditions got much worse when we were kicked out of the corps. But the circumstances of that were so false that even she, as committed as she was, could see through it.
Then the efforts of the local henchmen became more strident and overt. Soon they were actually trying to split us up. They would pit her against me. They even got her to tell on me when I misstepped or when the pressure got so great that I had to blow off steam. I tried to do what they said because I loved God and I loved my wife, but the more I tried to follow their recommendations the less success I had. But I would never let go. There were many tension filled moments where I could have just turned my back and walked away or said that one cutting thing that would douse the remaining sparks. But I would not do it because I loved her more than I loved twi2. Their demands that the ministry was the Word and the Word was the ministry, did not fit with my knowledge that God was the Word and the Word was God. The ministry was acting more like the devil than like God. Therefore, I could not love the "ministry" as much as I loved God or I loved my wife.
After we were kicked out it got worse before it got better. There once was a point where I did not care if all my Biblical contributions just died with me... But I wasn't there too long. Once I was out from under all the intimidation, fear motivation and devil spirit influence, I was able to get my head back together and began to fit the Word back together to the point where I could put into words how wrong they were. The first step was realizing that all the "whosoevers" in the Word still applied to me, no matter how loudly lcm had shouted to the contrary. But she was going downhill. She had bought in to lcm's lies and threats so deeply that she was severly condemning herself and expecting the tragedies that lcm and the local henchmen predicted. She would not be consoled. I feared for her health and safety. All I could do was watch over her carefully and be tender with her.
I, at the time was putting together in my mind what later became Research Geek's Top Ten list on this forum and I was seeing more and more how wrong lcm had been. But I could not tell her all of it. It was too painful for her to hear. So I did not force it, I only told her stuff when she asked and she made me prove it to her with scripture. I had to tell her more than once on each point and ultimately she was asking questions that sent me back to the Word and I would come back with more answers. But it was not until she got involved with Waydale that her spiritual abilities were rekindled. I can now say that our relationship has fully recovered and gone beyond where it was before. We are falling in love with each other all over again and this time we will never again let anyone or anything come between us or our family.
Just love her unconditionally, be patient, and stick with it. The contrast of your love with the lack of it and the evils of twi2 will be unmistakeable.
Re: love never faileth
RockNHard --
I was exactly where you are until August. I wanted to get out of TWI in 1995 - right after I took the Advanced Class! (how ironic!). I came home and started telling my husband what an awful time I had, how religious TWI had become, how the Corps were like the Gestapo, anything to try to get him to see that this was NOT my "Father's" ministry anymore. He asked me to give it time. He was sure it would get better -- just wait. It took 5 years for him to see it wasn't getting better.
So, for 5 years I considered myself a "Stepford" believer. A fake. Not to God and His Word - but to the TWI organization. I smiled, said "bless you!", went to branch meetings, fellowships, Limb functions. The only thing I told my husband was that I would NEVER go away from home and my kids for ANY TWI class or event again. And I managed to stick it out.
About 2 years ago I discovered Trancenet - the forerunner to this site. It was not monitored and got pretty nasty at times, but I was able to hook up with old friends, and meet new ones who allowed me to vent my frustration with TWI's doings without much criticism. Then Waydale came along and it was my safe haven. I posted anonymously, told only those I knew and trusted who I was and what my situation was. Their support and love was amazing. Their prayers were appreciated more than they'll ever know. And finally - after 5 years of waiting - it happened....
My hubby finally spoke up about the travesty that TWI had become and tried to help. Of course, he was blind-sided. We were put on probation (see the Waydale Main page for my husband's letter to RFR) until "after the lawsuit". And from way things look - we won't be going back!
So my advice is: Hold on. God will honor your prayers and reward your faithfulness to his Word. It won't be long. In the meantime - I will continue to pray for you both and your situation. Hang in there...
Recommended Posts
Belle
Dear RockNhardPlace
My recommendations under these conditions is to stay with your spouse and family even if they are still gung ho. Just bide your time. Ultimately, the hypocrisy of twi2 and the bot will do more to convince your spouse and family that it is time to leave than you will... Then when they suggest it, that's the time to concur and make plans to LEAVE ON YOUR TERMS.
I married my spouse, not twi. Although I did not realize enough at the time to express my heart in those exact words, looking back on the end of our tenure in twi2, those words characterized my actions completely. During those many months, I was beginning to realize that things were very wrong, but she was still gung ho. It was a confusing, heart wrenching and unstable time. With every new threat that came from headquarters, my heart had been tugging at my mind a little bit more whispering, "this does not fit with the heart of the Word we were taught". I guess that began when we both were ashamed to bring in new people to fellowship or headquarters because of the out-of-control, incongrouos behavior of lcm. But that was only the beginning. lcm gradually amassed more control as the local twigs became less self-governing. His threats grew in number and in volume.
Soon she was threataining to leave me because she did not see me getting rid of the "weakness" in my life quickly enough. I was trying, but we all know habits die hard. But I was not an evil person, like I was being treated. She never said it, but I could tell that she was going through a tug of war too. She would threaten me, echoing the threats of lcm. She would shout that she was going to leave me. We got in more and more arguments as twi2 strayed further and further from what had originally attracted both of us to the ministry. But then soon afterward she would be back to her loving self. That told me that she too was being torn. Because of that I tried to ignore the tirades. I tried to still be tender to her.
Nothing is worth leaving your spouse over if there is a spark of that old fire left. It may be fanned, stoked and rekindled if you just don't quit. Why did I keep trying? Beacuse I loved her. I promised God I would do so under every condition. Soon conditions got much worse when we were kicked out of the corps. But the circumstances of that were so false that even she, as committed as she was, could see through it.
Then the efforts of the local henchmen became more strident and overt. Soon they were actually trying to split us up. They would pit her against me. They even got her to tell on me when I misstepped or when the pressure got so great that I had to blow off steam. I tried to do what they said because I loved God and I loved my wife, but the more I tried to follow their recommendations the less success I had. But I would never let go. There were many tension filled moments where I could have just turned my back and walked away or said that one cutting thing that would douse the remaining sparks. But I would not do it because I loved her more than I loved twi2. Their demands that the ministry was the Word and the Word was the ministry, did not fit with my knowledge that God was the Word and the Word was God. The ministry was acting more like the devil than like God. Therefore, I could not love the "ministry" as much as I loved God or I loved my wife.
After we were kicked out it got worse before it got better. There once was a point where I did not care if all my Biblical contributions just died with me... But I wasn't there too long. Once I was out from under all the intimidation, fear motivation and devil spirit influence, I was able to get my head back together and began to fit the Word back together to the point where I could put into words how wrong they were. The first step was realizing that all the "whosoevers" in the Word still applied to me, no matter how loudly lcm had shouted to the contrary. But she was going downhill. She had bought in to lcm's lies and threats so deeply that she was severly condemning herself and expecting the tragedies that lcm and the local henchmen predicted. She would not be consoled. I feared for her health and safety. All I could do was watch over her carefully and be tender with her.
I, at the time was putting together in my mind what later became Research Geek's Top Ten list on this forum and I was seeing more and more how wrong lcm had been. But I could not tell her all of it. It was too painful for her to hear. So I did not force it, I only told her stuff when she asked and she made me prove it to her with scripture. I had to tell her more than once on each point and ultimately she was asking questions that sent me back to the Word and I would come back with more answers. But it was not until she got involved with Waydale that her spiritual abilities were rekindled. I can now say that our relationship has fully recovered and gone beyond where it was before. We are falling in love with each other all over again and this time we will never again let anyone or anything come between us or our family.
Just love her unconditionally, be patient, and stick with it. The contrast of your love with the lack of it and the evils of twi2 will be unmistakeable.
Re: love never faileth
RockNHard --
I was exactly where you are until August. I wanted to get out of TWI in 1995 - right after I took the Advanced Class! (how ironic!). I came home and started telling my husband what an awful time I had, how religious TWI had become, how the Corps were like the Gestapo, anything to try to get him to see that this was NOT my "Father's" ministry anymore. He asked me to give it time. He was sure it would get better -- just wait. It took 5 years for him to see it wasn't getting better.
So, for 5 years I considered myself a "Stepford" believer. A fake. Not to God and His Word - but to the TWI organization. I smiled, said "bless you!", went to branch meetings, fellowships, Limb functions. The only thing I told my husband was that I would NEVER go away from home and my kids for ANY TWI class or event again. And I managed to stick it out.
About 2 years ago I discovered Trancenet - the forerunner to this site. It was not monitored and got pretty nasty at times, but I was able to hook up with old friends, and meet new ones who allowed me to vent my frustration with TWI's doings without much criticism. Then Waydale came along and it was my safe haven. I posted anonymously, told only those I knew and trusted who I was and what my situation was. Their support and love was amazing. Their prayers were appreciated more than they'll ever know. And finally - after 5 years of waiting - it happened....
My hubby finally spoke up about the travesty that TWI had become and tried to help. Of course, he was blind-sided. We were put on probation (see the Waydale Main page for my husband's letter to RFR) until "after the lawsuit". And from way things look - we won't be going back!
So my advice is: Hold on. God will honor your prayers and reward your faithfulness to his Word. It won't be long. In the meantime - I will continue to pray for you both and your situation. Hang in there...
Hope R.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.