I am a little blown away by the information that Bob may be dead. At one time, I was very close friends with both Bob and Pam. I spoke with Pam about 3-4 years ago after she remarried and she asked me if I had heard from Bob recently. I told her the last time I had heard from him had been about 3 years earlier, but I'd heard from a mutual friend that he was living in the Boston area. And yes, that his life had taken a "different direction." But I never heard that he was dead!! And at that time, Pam certainly didn't think he was. As a matter of fact, Pam and I were emailing each other up until a couple of years ago and she never shared that info with me. Are you certain about when you spoke with her? In my mind, until I hear for certain otherwise, he's alive.
As for Pam, I am trying to get back in touch with her myself. I have an address for her but I don't know if it's current. I won't post any more info on her here because I know she would prefer I didn't, but if you want to email me privately I'll tell you what I can.
Pam is one of my favorite people in the world and the only person I'd want near me if I was ever sick. She is a nurse extraodinaire. Bob was a dear friend once upon a time and we loved to listen to music together. He's a computer wiz and I'm surprized he isn't on this forum. (Or is he?) Bob, if you're out there, put an end to this "Paul is dead" routine and say hello!!!