signals

Signals' lesson(in 20/20 HINDSITE VISION)... I shoulda never have gone to that first twig. I shoulda never returned the second time. I shoulda left when a class was emphasized. I shoulda left when ABS was emphasized. I shoulda left when Weirwill was referred to as The Man Of God. I shoulda left before I paid for the class. I shoulda left before I took the class. I shoulda left after lesson 1. 2. 3. 4., etc. And my stupidity and blindness just kept snowballing. The thing is that I was trained to spot these cults in my psychiatric studies, yet fell prey like anyone else. See I could come up with all sorts of negatives. But let's focus on the WHY we stayed in the Way. Honestly? I knew more people and had more friends back then than any other time in my life. We were never really alone. Sure there were the dinkuses, but there were alot of people you liked, got along with and had a good time. If you really needed someone you knew you can count on a believer to help you. So yes we all went to hell in a bucket, but we all enjoyed the ride at some point.

Perhaps I was thinking of Wink Martindale :D--> I wonder if they're related?

I still say(watch hell open up!) a good old fashion lawyer and a suit will intimidate TWI's pure thoughts. I also think that certain factions of government are starting to take notice of TWI! And for the record...books can be dolled up. Also there are usually two sets of books. The real info was probably in Weirwill's mattress!

You do realize that the friend who went to DULUTH, went WOW in '77 with me. Another grad from my pfal class went WOW in '78. He was sent elsewhere.

Thanks for all the responses, and the help. I did forget most events and people, but my connection was with certain of the teachings that I believed were accurate, so although I had no physical and emotional connection there was a spiritual. I haven't searched or looked up TWI in all that time. Even with a computer, TWI was farthest from my mind. Less than a month ago I started searching, and heard about Weirwill. From there it was like a Pandora's box! I don't think I ever gave up the idea that I still needed to find God and the truth. And since talking to a Rev. friend of mine that I worked with the past couple of years, we always exchanged scriptures. Somehow he knew I was seeking God but was ill informed. You know how it is when others try to prove things through scriptures to us, we come up with they're twisting, changing, misquoting, deleting, etc. to come up with their interpretation. Can't they say the same about us? So I'm trying it and slowly but surely I'm seeing it the other way. Weirwill's death was the proof that I was wrong(this is just me)! I'm serious about inconsistencies, I need to know them. I'm starting to use events markers, the way motorist use mile markers on a highway. One such marker is that I was definitely out of TWI in August of 1980. The reason is for a tragedy that happen on September 25, 1980. John Bonham died and Led Zeppelin had announced a concert in my area in November(around August), that I had made plans to attend. Thanks again!

-->You lost me.???

The only way TWI will know you is if you tell them. I have no illusions that TWI knows exactly who I am because of all the 'hints' I dropped to them. I'd like to ask: Why do you really fear TWI knowing who you are? Is there something you know, that others should? I make no excuses, because I know that this site is more valuable to TWI than hiring an investigator. This site is to TWI what an accurate site to predict terrorism before it happens would be to the government. A valuable tool! They can gather more info from this site than if they tracked groups of us. But that's just me! Here are some security downloads. They all are on a free trial, and if you download, just don't use them beyond the date, but using them once may remove stuff! PC Security

It's been brought to my attention that my postings and comments don't add up. Upon review I find this to be true, and I thank the poster for bringing it to my attention. I am not going to come up with excuses about this, or argue with those who think I'm lying. Fine, I'm lying, so be it. Either way, please let me know about inconsistancies. Not because I'll come up with some excuse, but because it will help me put my life back together in those dark years. I've posted to My Story some inconsistancies or lies I found. My goal is to put my Way years back together. Sure I get mixed up at times, but it comes together. Again, regardless of what you think about me or my stories, PLEASE let me know. I'm not going to justify the inconsistancies, but rather create a timeline. It's not about what you think of me as much as me finding closure and solving a puzzle of those years. I'm hated by many, I know this to be true here too. But I'm not trying to deceive you as much as piecing that part of my life. I know I claimed I was in TWI for 5 years or more. Upon reflection and certain time marks I've recently reflected and had my brain rattled my tenure in TWI was from April '77 to Spring/Summer of 1980. Other inconsistancies will follow at the original posts. Please keep in mind that I am not justifying the inconsistancies but rather putting them together in my own life. If you consider me a liar or am up to something, I am not going to change your opinion. But please let me know inconsistancies, and be brutal if you must. I can't repeat this enough: It's about ME putting my life back together moreso than excusing inconsistancies. I didn't come here to make friends or influence people. Been there done that! My mission is to share my life experiences in hope they help someone in some way. If you agree with just one sentance of my many postings, then mission accomplished!

Inconsistancies in my stories-Reading back there are many inconsistancies in my stories. I apologize for that. Although I have no justification, other than saying that in another comment somewhere I stated that I am here to put those years back together. I wish people would tell me when they find inconsistancies in my stories. Not because I'll find an excuse, but because it will rattle my brain as to when things happened. Perhaps I should point out that although I may talk about bad times in TWI, there were some good times, too. Otherwise I would have left the first week of twig. Although I may emphasize the bad, I will eventually talk about the good. I'm not going to change current posts on all message boards because I want to see what I thought and what was true. Fact:I claimed I was in TWI for about 5 years, or so, elsewhere. Upon reflection my tenure went from April '77 to Summer of '80. So actual was about or over 3 years. They actually felt like 100. But my bad, and note taken. Fact:Upon reflection the Virginia story occurred in spring of '82. A fork in the road in my life occurred during 81-83. Thus the mix up. Reflection:I once confused the summer and winter olympic years. Although I left the WOW program after 4 months, Aug-Nov, there were a couple of WOWs from other families that I had binded with. My own WOW brothers and myself never got along. Somewhere I posted about another WOW and me seeing someone who looked like Chuck Berry. This was a Philly VP gig around Feb. Mar. of 1978. I may have thought it was '80 because of the winter olympics(US beats USSR in hockey!) confusing them with the summer olympic years. Again please let me know about inconsistancies. KEEP IN MIND, please, that it's more about me than whether you think I'm lying. If you consider me a liar, that is your opinion, and things I write are not to justify, but rather to help me put my life together.

Abigail, I really want to apologize. I think it was a misunderstanding, but I was wrong, too. Sometimes I should communicate my ideas better. When I was in the field, there were really no text book cases that could be narrowed down. The DSM(Diagnostic Statistics Manual...or something like that) was like a psychiatric bible that had names and symptoms. Most people may exhibit one symptom from one 'label' and a couple of others from another. Schizophrenia was like a wide range of symptoms that had hallucinogenic properties in it. Seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, smelling something that wasn't there. Not talking about the issue at hand, but DSM-1 declared that homosexuality was a mental illness. DSM-2 declared that this field needed more study. Don't know what 3 said, but I'm sure if there is a 4 or beyond it was completely removed. I was once book smart. You know what I found? That I was street stupid, and had no survival skills whatsoever. Perhaps that was when TWI came in. As I matured, I began to see things that books don't tell you about life. If I were to say that once while washing my face outdoors over a bucket of water, a small bluebird landed on the tip of my cupped hands, took a drink and zipped out. No book on birds will ever tell you this. And there is a pattern to life with that. About parents, perhaps I was making a point that unless your(meaning anyone) parents were actually abusers, they did the best they could with what they had. I remember going to a friend's house who had rooms full of toys, and all I had were just a few. I sort of resented it, but when you deal with your own money, reality sets in. As parents we can only do what we think is best, and since we don't come with a how-to owners manual we do what we can and pray for the best. Do not confuse corporal punishment with actual beatings. Shaking, slapping across the face, punching are pretty extreme as far as I'm concerned. Slapping a hand or butt, will get the message across. But to each their own. Bipolar, yes, thank-you. The weird thing about the symptoms in my day is that people who were diagnosed as manic-depressive, were either manic-depressive manic, or manic-depressive depressive. If the person 'moped'(for lack of a better word!) they were more on the depressive side. On the other hand if they had energy and couldn't shut-up then they were manic. So yeah I am confused! Again sorry! PS some of the things you quoted were said to Safari

Actually it was in the '70s. You're right there is a great advancement in the field. And for the most part, people in the psychiatric field do a fantastic job. I just question, that some people are diagnosed with a problem when they don't have any. I hope to put up one of the greatest self-help sites I feel exists on the internet. If you can't find something there, there are thousands of links that will take you where you need to go.

So you don't like me, big deal! And my stories have holes in them, tough! I'm 54 years old and somethings in my life crisscrossed at certain points. Personally, I don't really want you to know me. But your and anyone elses' opinion hurts as much as if I never heard it. Since you are being a stickler, let me enlighten you...I spoke of ADD in my post to sharon. Again, knowledge of none, if you look at abigail's comments to sharon, she begins to quote ME and put in her ideology. All her quotes were in reference to me. So if you hate me I suppose I won't get that Way Gold Medal. If my stories and dates seem tangled, well I never kept a diary so I may be off a few years. Unlike druids who are sticklers for dates and events, sorry but I've lived my life to the fullest and didn't really write time and dates when things occurred. I thought I had left the way in 81, but as thingsstart jarring my mind, I believe it was more like early 80. I once confused the 78 winter olympics with the summer of 80! So sorry if things don't add up, but maybe putting your nose in your own business will give you less to worry about. Again abigail is a big girl, let her defend herself and if she proves me wrong or there was a misunderstanding I will be glad to apologize. As far as anything being accurate: You were or are in TWI, were/aren't you?

And what position did you hold when you worked over five years in the psychiatric profession? Hopefully not as a doctor or a therapist.. If it was I can see why it was only over five years. After all the schooling you would need why was it only that long?.... Since I already answered part of this somewhere, let me add that it was because of the years and training that I didn't persue a psychological career. Plus I began to see the real fakeness, as the different psychiatric facilities tried to pass their worst cases to others like the person really didn't matter. I saw a man who was institutionalized for over 50 years, had everything done for him, and now he needed to be rehabilitated for the real world. This was because the institution lost funding and had to shut down. This man could not comprehend how to flick a light switch...and that's so easy a newborn could do it by accident. I left before ever seeing if they can teach a 70 something old man new tricks. I saw a lady who was addicted to electoshock treatments. I saw people attempt suicide. I saw violent and criminally insane. I saw a slight overdose of lithium cause a person's tounge to swell so much it was blocking his breathing and coming out of his mouth. I also saw One Flew Over a Cuckoos Nest and felt it was right!

Just for the record SafariVista, the things you accuse me of doing is what abigail did herself! That too was a TWI tactic of passing the blame to others. In my original post I was talking to sharon...go check it out. If you follow the thread instead of assuming, or thinking your friend needs help, it was abigail who was pinched in the nerve, not me. She took issue with what I said to sharon(in other words, she should have let go and minded her own business). Instead I am the one who has to defend my beliefs. Your right, I didn't know her, but guess what? I know her now! I did not put her in a general category, but it was her who basically put herself there by thinking that the general applies to the individual. So people, I don't mind saying I'm wrong or apologizing if I need to, but if you butt into a discussion I was having with someone else, and take issues with my general belief because you are the exception, welcome to the real world where the truth hurts!

First, let me tell you that although I worked in the field, I was a therapy aide who saw different aspects of abnormal psychology at the time. I(unlike some) never diagnosed myself, because we all display abnormal symptoms to some extent. So if you(who doesn't know me) can assume that I'm a text book case, well that is your assumption! I like how abigail declared on certain comments about ADD that I don't know her. Well abigail, you just told me. It's called hitting a nerve. Since it was awhile ago that I left the nutcases, I tend to look at things I know from outside the box. Books tell anybody anything that they want to hear. An example is thinking that certain(I said certain not all) criminals can be rehabilitated and when the shrink says they're ready to enter society, and released, they commit a more hanious crime than before. Thus back to the prison shrink, who's thinking of retirement. Currently I work in Parks and Recreation centers for youth and the elderly, and you tend to see how kids do things, and catch them doing things they know they shouldn't. I'm sure yours are the exception, after all there are literally thousands of books on parenting, and none really agree. I've also dealt with normal children as young as 8 that are on an antipsychotic drug called lithium. Back when I was in the schizoid field, lithium could not be given to children under 14 because the level was undetermined. Perhaps they've come a long way since, but not enough is ineffective and too much can kill. Some kids do have imbalances in the brain, I am not denying that. ADD was unheard of in my parts. Believe it or not sometimes it starts in a town, state, or area, and it has to be diagnosed and cross referenced with other symptoms. Perhaps to an extent it does exist, but, imo, it would have to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist and perhaps given an opinion by an independent MD. I said somewhere I talk in general. I also warned that although I am talking about the subject as a whole, individuals take it personnally! Of course, they are always the exceptions. I stand by the fact, or let me put it another way with made up figures so you get the point: Of all the people diagnosed with ADD, about 80% don't really have it. Abigail, if like you said a family member was diagnosed back in the 70s, I'm wondering if it wasn't actually manic-depression(don't know if it still has that name today)??? Depression is a real thing, and sometimes just because people are upity or energetic, doesn't mean they aren't depressed! As far as me, hell yeah my parents screwed me up. I got hit with everything from wooden spoons to brooms. Then at Catholic school I got the strap. Did it hurt? Sure, but since hind sight is 20/20 I think I'm a better person for it. My kid? Although I never touched or abused her she still thinks I screwed up her life. In my defence she lives with her mother, from an ugly divorce. So, yeah I'm asscrewed up as anyone else. My actual point is that no matter how you raise your kid, they will go through some rebellion where they blame their parent for their lives. At some point people also have to become adults and take responsibility for their actions. Too many people want quick solutions as to why their children act the way they do and 99% of the time all it takes is love, hugs, and spending more time with them. Something that changed in the past 40 years as both parents began working. Sometimes the child needs attention and will get it positive or negative. And yes, we are role models, unfortunately peer pressure is a tougher drive in that I've seen too many good kids go bad because they get in with the wrong kids. They also learn how to manupulate and pull the strings of the parent. So perhaps your child does have ADD, Abigail, I wasn't talking specifically to you. I was talking about the majority. Interesting about living in a town dubbed 'a test market', you tend to see where we are going before others have a clue.

Well, he was Jesus to some, so cancer didn't kill him, he gave up the spirit. I'm not surprised that they turned it around and say it was the believers' fault, because they didn't believe enough or weren't there! In the business world the motto is 'deny everything and admit nothing!'

So abigail, you like many are the exception. Truth hurts, doesn't it? Take it from someone who spent over 5 years in the psychiatric profession, excuses are used to justify the behavior of the guilty. You should perhaps fill us in if your children feel that after everything you've done they haven't been scarred by your parenting, like you seem to pose the blame on your parents. The symptoms of ADD are nothing more than normal childhood behavior that because the parent(you or yours) can't control, has to find an excuse to let drugs do it! Seems odd that no one heard of ADD until the late '90s. Even good parents scar their children, or why else would some seek positive reinforcement of a cult? Again agree or disagree, when I speak the truth it is the guilty who feel that they must justify. True the condition exists but perhaps sparing the rod has spoiled the child, thus manipulating the parent...The psychiatric community like weirwill loves money, and long term illness is their job security...regardless of what you or I think! :)-->

I guess it depends who's eyes you look through. In our eyes, others are dysfunctional. In reality: Everybody comes from a dysfunctional family. I could find 1001 dysfunctional conditions in others, but then are we REALLY from a 'perfect' family? If we were, would we have joined a cult? Just remember that it is a grand illusion, because deep inside we are all the same!

I dunno about nervie. I hope they didn't think he was annoying me or anything. He put his head into the mouth of the hungry lion...the bitter lion! The green goblin avatar guy summoned him and that was it! To nervie: you are sorely missed. I've missed your entertaining antics of "I am not associated with TWI, but god bless!' I for one would welcome his return because stupid is what stupid does! Run nervie run! Because no one told you when to run and you missed your starry sky!

Perhaps we should describe family as either 'earthly' or 'spiritually'! Yes I gave up my real family, after all I felt more, ahem, love from my spiritual family. The worst is when you go WOW, especially local, because my WOW family would suddenly show up if I was invited for a Sunday dinner and such from my real family. Other times we had no where to live I get invited to my real family and my WOW idiots feel we have to stay together. My WOW family lacked hygienic skills and had BO that lingered long after they left. So yeah, my relationship changed dramatically because of a cult, and things have never been the same!

I had written a great piece here, had a blackout and that was history. So the jest... I left while King VP still ruled Weirvill. So far be it for me to defend him. I'm planted in reality also referred to the REAL world as opposed to the REEL(make believe) world. Yes Weirwill died by his own declared demon. Some should thank God that he exposed that Everything he taught was a L-I-E! The clown was exposed for what he was. Weirwill wasn't the first time we were deceived nor will it be the last. Skammers skam intelligent people all the time. It hurts more because some paid with their soul(way lingo:spirit). Question: If Bush was diagnosed with cancer today, when do you think the TRUTH would come out? Usually they say a minor condition, or a condition of concern. When did you notice the pope was on his dying bed? Me, a couple of years ago. Funny they just about waved his cadaver at the window in his last day. I stick to my story that Weirwill knew he was dying when he passed the buck to Mr. Personality. I think that the lights may have contributed to the cancer. Other factors that I assume are heavy alcohol use and possible cocaine or heroin addiction. What do I base this on? The pattern of sexual predators.

Well said, Sharon! The trouble started with Dr. Spock(not to be confused with the pointy eared Mr) and peaked when Hillary said it takes a village to raise a child. Somehow certain people perceived that the world was recruited as their babysitters. No matter how onruly your kid is...reason with them rather than hitting and scarring them for life. No wonder parents tend to explode. But never fear, because what Spock started can now be treated with Riddelin! They are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD! Plus some counseling and there you go... The more parents try to be less than their own parents, the worse things get. Scarring for life means that a lesson is learned and a moral instilled. Reasoning gives the advantage to the child, as he becomes smarter and more manipulative than the parent. Then don't get me started on Welfare as that is only a check to breed. Them working? HA! They had a program where a couple of times a week people on welfare had to go do civil service work while being supervised. They claimed they were humiliated and felt like prisoners. Ironically they aren't humiliated getting that check for their kids from various fathers. So Andrea claims PostPartum depression, and you know the whole psychiatric community is going to prove it, thus giving a new excuse to the masses. Someone goofed(ooops) with Susan and put her in main stream criminal population and she was almost beaten to death. Look for the book. The lady who killed her daughter in a restroom had gotten life. She was released a couple of years ago because she was a model inmate, good behavior, and Glenn Close took a liking to her. Her surviving daughter still claimed her mother was innocent. The restroom had blood all over the place! I know all parents say that I will never raise my kids like my parents raised me. Then did our parents actually do a bad job?

Coffee house in the '60s? What like a White Tower or Castle? :)--> Other than restaurants or soda fountains, I can't remember any coffe...Oh wait! A subculture of the hippie generation were known as beatnicks. They would read poetry and snap their fingers if they approved. They wore berets, sunglasses(granny type), and mostly dark colors. They seemed to have a fetish for bongos. If on the other hand it was the flower children(who had to much whisky in their coffee and other illegal substances) their colors are bright, earthy and don't match. Bellbottoms were a hit back then. The flower stickers were a hit with them. Then there were the bikers and the surfers. Sonny and Cher, The Beatles, Psychadelic colors, Stupid images that looked cool. It was the age of Aquarius(so the horoscope symbol will do) although no one knew what that meant. If you ever saw Laugh In there's all the decor you'll need. The painted walls where they would pop out and tell their jokes(had to be there I guess) would make a great backdrop!

It's pretty much always been that way. Andrea Yates made headlines when she drowned all her children. Don't know if you remember that girl in one of the Carolinas who claimed a black man carjacked her and took her kids hostage. Oh how people felt sorry. Somehow from the beginning I felt she was lying, because not a hair was out of place and her mascara wasn't running when she was crying and sobbing(no tears). Come to find out her current boyfriend wasn't crazy about kids, so she locked her 2 kids in the car and put a brick on the gas pedal so the car would drive into lake. A few years back someone did a study of certain mothers who try to kill their kids. It's more common than you think. Back in the 70s a mother and her daughter were in a reastaurant, and because her daughter was acting up, she took her in the ladies' room and beat her to death. Within 100 miles of my area over the past 20 years there have been so many cases of mothers killing their syblings. It's on the increase, btw! And these are just the cases of mothers. Then there are the fathers and both.

I just don't get the fascination. I saw the first one and thought it was the most overblown hype of a movie. I didn't get it, I suppose. Let's see, Hollywood announces a slump in movie sales, and another Lucas production is released. Last one that came out had to start a couple of days before Spiderman came out so it could've claimed the highest grossing. Gimmiks of the industry.