Ham

But the thing that should really trouble the organization is, if they offered it FREE including airfare, attendance would very likely not improve much.

Probably why they finally say beastiality is bad too. Sex with animals = no new followers. Started hitting them in the money coffers!

Belle, I would not hold my breath waiting for them to outlaw sex though. About the only way they are going to get new followers is to get them born to begin with.

They are probably too busy trying to get truth off of Martinpukes heel to have time to invite any of us..

I think they tried to outlaw Christmas after receiving so many lumps of coal in the mail.

Arithmetic at Der Vey:

One second rate security guard + one berreta

= shot in two balls.

I offer a suggestion.. maybe they could prop up Rosie in front of the cameras. Have about twenty beauticians work her over and she would be about ready..

Looks like it is about time for good ole Rico to do his trick again, "everybody knows from Lima beans to peas that we..." you know the rest of the story..

I wonder what the next phenomenal revelation will be.. "We have Biblical evidence.... that the sun will rise and set once a day."

Satori, it would be interesting if he did shoot himself in the balls! Can you imagine.. good ole Rico would have to stand up (yet once again) in front of the masses of reporters to try to discredit the news stories. "Everyone in the world is well aware that we inform our followers of everything from peas to soups to nuts (sorry) about the goings on of the organization."

Slowly, the stories would subside: "second rate security guard shoots himself in a fit of insanity." "Man on corn field duty shoots himself in the privates."

The BOT would be forced to relieve him of his duties, and would hold him as a prime example why the followers should avoid the internet, especially ex-way sites.

Well, at least one good thing has come from all of this, and we should all be thankful- all of the animals in Way World can sleep a little easier tonight.

"and, anyone who has listened to any of our teachings must realize by now that we have the greatest knowledge about peas, soup and animal crakers than that which has been known since the first century."

After many years of silence about the subject, R*** Mag***** will stand in front of the press and announce, "from peas to soups to animals, we never informed our people that beastiality is OK, though we never failed to inform them little otherwise as well."

Almost the same thing, anyway.

Ha ha ha.. The no pet policy was probably for bracing the masses (under 4000) for what was to come.. now they must get rid of their old wine skins.. sorry, old animal skins.

I can almost hear the feverish discussion going up and down the Ole Vay Tree: "What should we tell them to do with all of those animals now?"

Beastiliaty is wrong??? Sounds like another great present truth unearthed by years of research for the prevailing household! Sounds like Coulter may be in the running for the next MOG (kind of). The innies should be sooooo thankful..

And to think, I thought only nuns had stupid habits.. heh heh. Sorry..

I can at least blame it partly on the coffee.

Thanks for the kind words J.T. I think some of my best ideas come during over-caffeinated mornings. Just picture a Chihuahua with a couple cappuccinos in it.. all of the energy has to go somewhere.

I have always wondered what they really do with the bulbs that they have been forced to mark and avoid. Maybe they save a few up, rent a Ryder truck and drop them off somewhere past the 250 mile radius around headquarters.

Thanks for the input! You guys that were "closer to the fire" really know your stuff. Jim, I would not be suprised if that is not exactly how one of those meetings would go. In Martinpukes era though, I think they would get more of an extensive reaming because the staff was not spiritual enough to know ahead of time when the bulb burned out, and replace it before its demise. Now we do not wait to catch the bulbs in the act, genuine spiritual suspicion is all that is necessary!

How many directors does it really take to change a light bulb? Obviously, it must be four or more, since with three they have been sitting in darkness for many, many years, and still cannot get any light going. Even with five on the board at one time, they were still pretty well light bulb challenged. What say ye?

But Rosie would be safe; Paul was a logical man. After examining Rosies appearance, he probably would come to the conclusion that any "modification" would be for the better..

What would Paul do? I have wondered. But if he ran accross the current BOD and/or their minions, he probably would be greatly tempted to go back to his "old man days" and beat the living **** out of them.