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firebee

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Posts posted by firebee

    What's in a name?

    in Humor

    Posted

    Gee I haven't laffed so hard in weeks.........

    Thanks that was much needed.

    Here's one for you:

    A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it.

    Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great... some a**h*le's got my pen."

    lyrics please (((firebee)))

    in Movies, Music, Books, Art

    Posted

    Africa

    I hear the drums echoing tonight

    But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation

    She's coming in 12:30 flight

    The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation

    I stopped an old man along the way

    Hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies

    He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you"

    It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

    There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

    I bless the rains down in Africa

    Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

    The wild dogs cry out in the night

    As they grow restless longing for some solitary company

    I know that I must do what's right

    As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serangetti

    I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

    It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

    There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

    I bless the rains down in Africa

    Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

    Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you

    It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

    There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

    I bless the rains down in Africa, I passed some rains down in Africa

    I bless the rains down in Africa, I passed some rains down in Africa

    I bless the rains down in Africa

    Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

    cancer-what do we know?

    in Health, Wellness, and Fitness

    Posted

    Kay, I listened to this song today and thought of you and Tim.

    Wish there was a way you could here it from here. Maybe Sudo or Krys could paste the song.

    Anyway, here are the lyrics................

    thanks for being you

    firebee

    AFRICA

    Toto

    I hear the drums echoing tonight

    But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation

    She's coming in 12:30 flight

    The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation

    I stopped an old man along the way,

    Hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies.

    He turned to me as if to say,

    'Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you.'

    It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

    There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

    I bless the rains down in Africa

    Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

    The wild dogs cry out in the night

    As they grow restless longing for some solitary company

    I know that I must do what's right

    As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serangetti

    I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

    It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

    There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

    I bless the rains down in Africa

    Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

    ------ instrumental break ------

    Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you

    It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

    There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

    I bless the rains down in Africa, I passed some rains down in Africa

    I bless the rains down in Africa, I passed some rains down in Africa

    I bless the rains down in Africa

    Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

    a little humor perhaps

    in Humor

    Posted

    A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old man to join him.

    To his surprise, the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

    Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green.

    After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age, I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

    With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

    The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age, that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

    a little humor perhaps

    in Humor

    Posted

    An 80 year old man went to Hollywood to pick up a prostitute and to get some action. He noticed one hooker in particular and started flirting with her. The prostitute quickly became annoyed and yelled, "Get lost old man! You're ruining business!"

    "Sure would like to get some action tonight," blurted the old man.

    "You've got to be kidding! You're too old! You're all finished!"

    "What did you say?" asked the geezer.

    "You heard me! You're all finished!"

    "Oh, dear," replied the old man, as he reached into his pocket, "how much do I owe you?"

    a little humor perhaps

    in Humor

    Posted

    Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"

    After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is both male and female."

    This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"

    "Well, God is both black and white."

    This further confuses him so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"

    At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."

    At this Little Johnny?s face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"

    a little humor perhaps

    in Humor

    Posted

    These three were scrambling for cash to pay their bar bill. The bartender says, "Forget the bill - if the three of you can show me 21 inches, I'll pick up the tab."

    The three guys all looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and agreed.

    So, The first guy pulls his out his 10 inch 'blue-veined diamond scratcher.' Then, the second guy pulls out his 10 inch 'one-eyed dragon slayer.' All eyes are now staring at the third guy. He unzips his pants and pulls out his 1 inch 'member.' They all have a good chuckle and then leave the bar.

    When the three fellows get to their cars, the first guy says, "You guys were lucky that I had 10 inches."

    The second guy says, "Yep, well you guys were lucky that I also had 10 inches."

    The third guy says, "true, but you were all lucky that I had a stiffy."

    from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

    a little humor perhaps

    in Humor

    Posted

    A young punk gets on the cross town bus and sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man.

    The young punk has spiked, multi-colored, green, purple, and orange hair. His clothing is a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright red, yellow and green feathers.

    The old man glares at the young punk for the next ten miles, as the bus travels across the city.

    Finally, the punk looks across at the old man, and yells, "What are you looking at, old man! Didn't you do anything wild when you were young?"

    Without missing a beat, the old man replies, "Yeah. Back when I was very young and in the Navy, I got really drunk in Singapore and had sex with a parrot... I thought you might be my son."

    from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

    a little humor perhaps

    in Humor

    Posted

    A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

    Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

    The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

    "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."

    The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

    The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.

    A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"

    "No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"

    from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

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