2fortheroad

OK - I've done the math 4 times, and I don't get my phone number.

I did it with my office phone number and it came out just fine, but every time I do my home number, it doesn't work.

Are there some number combinations that just don't compute??

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report

that her telephone failed to ring when her friends

called - and that on the few occasions when it did

ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone

rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene,

curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly

lady.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test

set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone

didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly

and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman

found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground

wire via a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current

when the phone number was called.

4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start

moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus

causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by

p*ss*ng and moaning.

My boss shared this one at work, and we've all decided to sign up for the "Princess Retirement Plan"

No Nursing Home for Me

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service! (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?

Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

PS - And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.

I believe...Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early do!

OOPS - wrong thread, sorry about that!

Just wondering if anyone knows where Jim and Paula McLaren are these days.

I like the idea. My husband is self-employed, and we are also planning to start another business, and it would be very helpful to have a place to discuss and share ideas. We much prefer to spend our $$ with small business whenever possible, and a place where we can get acquainted with each other's endeavors sounds great.

As you say, it's all speculation, since we're discussing someplace we haven't been yet...but, these days I am leaning toward the belief that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, infinite souls/spirits in temporary bodies...so death is the end of this physical body, but perhaps just a transition to another dimension of continuing spiritual life.

When I go to New, and click on Folder, nothing happens, nothing opens up...no text box, no place to name a folder....zip, nada, nothing. I am not unfamiliar with computers, been working with them daily for years...been making folders for years. Everything is enabled, and SHOULD work, but it's having some sort of brain f*rt...I've looked in Troubleshooting, and even tried online, and no one seems to have ever had this particular problem. Guess Mr. Gates decided I have enough folders already! :blink:

When I try to make a new folder in my Inbox in Outlook Express nothing happens...normally a text box should open up to name the folder, but that is not happening. It used to work :(

I've tried restarting the computer. I Googled my question, and didn't find anything either. How can something so simple and basic just quit working???

Never did really believe in Hell...used to believe in "gravedom", but I've returned to my pre-TWI belief that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. The physical body dies, but the spirit lives on...we are infinite souls in temporary bodies, spiritual beings who are always connected to God. It's our continual choice while we are in this body of whether we plug into the higher/faster "God-energy" or the lower/slower "material energy" of the world. When the human experience ends I don't believe in hell, or eternal torment (or heaven either), just continuing spiritual energy on many planes, in many dimensions.

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." - Rita Mae Brown.

quote:

Posted September 05, 2005 22:07

I don't "go" to church.

quote:

I am the church.

You are the church.

Another person you may meet is the church.

Wherever we go. Wherever we are.

I'll definitely get in this line! I am in the universe, the universe is in me...and that's good (God) enough for me!

I have no urge whatsoever to attend any form of organized religion...The thought of going to "meetings" where "the Word" is taught gives me a great big shudder (especially if "fellowship" is involved).

Unless you're talking about the Church of Baseball.

The Church of Baseball

Good Motto To Live By: (guess this weighs in on the "burn out" side!)

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO-HOO - WHAT A RIDE!" -->

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

...on my deathbed, I will receive total consciousness...so, I've got that going for me!

Thanks for all the great suggestions. I ended up making a shredded carrot/jicama/red onion/jalapeno/green apple/dried cranberry concoction with a dressing of fresh lemon and lime juice, olive oil and lots of chopped garlic Just sort of made it up as I went, and it's mighty tasty. Will find out tonight if anyone else thinks so!

I'll definitely try some of the other recipes too-thanks to all who shared!

Don't know - I'm going to a garden party, no idea how many folks will be there. I figure if the recipe serves 4-6, I'll just triple or quadruple it. Do you have a favorite salad?

I'm leaning toward Greek Salad, or maybe something with artichoke hearts and shrimp, or...???

quote:

One true source(light) but many ways to reflect it(colors). We are multi- dementional beings.

I know for sure that I am often "multi-dementional" and definitely "multi-dimensional" too. Seriously, I think that quote should be an option on the next poll. That is a beautiful way to put it, Imbus...One true source (light), but many ways to reflect it (colors). Very cool!

I need an interesting salad recipe for a garden party tomorrow (not potato or pasta). Anyone have any favorites?

Guess I ought to check in more often - what a surprise to see my post from last December back on the front page again. Disappointing though that my question, "anyone into Reiki?", has brought out such sarcasm and contempt from those who have never experienced it, or perhaps never even heard of it until the question was posed...

Thanks to reikilady and the others who have shared THEIR EXPERIENCES with reiki, as that is what I was asking about in the first place. Yes, we did indeed buy into a lot of things in twi without any PROOF...and the major difference that I see, is that there were also NO RESULTS with twi, in my case anyhow. Energy healing, massage, chiropractic, and reiki, in conjuction with CONVENTIONAL MEDICINE, HAVE YIELDED RESULTS IN MY LIFE, as I shared a page or two ago.

We human beings are both matter and energy, and healing modalities which address BOTH of those states have been most effective FOR ME.

I was, and am, interested in the results experienced by those who actually had participated in reiki, not the sarcastic, skeptical cynicism of those who refuse to even consider it. A line from a song comes to mind..."don't try to describe the ocean if you've never seen it"...Especially when someone asks what it's like at the beach.

Off the top of my head, without my music collection nearby...

Ditto on Dixie Chicken (or just about anything by Little Feat)!

Willing - Little Feat

A Pirate Looks At Forty - Jimmy Buffett

Black Velvet - Alannah Myles

Whippin' Post - Allman Brothers

Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn

Ridgetop - Jesse Colin Young

Too Rolling Stoned - Robin Trower

When A Man Loves A Woman - Percy Sledge

Alabama - Neil Young

Rhythm of My Heart - Rod Stewart

Gotta get back to work...More later!

I recall our fellowship being reproved by the LIMB coordinator of our state for using the phrase "the man of God" in reference to him at some function. We were adamantly instructed that we could call him "A man of God", but the term "THE man of God" was ONLY to be uttered in reference (reverence?) to LCM . He reiterated that he was "a man of God", but LCM was "the man of God for the world in our time".

Another time I questioned something LCM taught about acupuncture being devilish --> (I think he said that there was no way you could have needles inserted in your body with no pain unless "debbil spurts" were involved). Our fearless LIMB coordinator agreed that it did not make sense and he didn't understand it, but if LCM the MOGFOT said it, then that was good enough for him (and therefore not to be questioned by me either).

Anyone know Judith Lunn in Greensboro?

Most, if not all of these people have moved on the other parts of the world since those days...Just wondering if any of them have smelled the coffee and moved out of wayworld too?!? -->

Judith Lunn (Greensboro, NC last I heard)

Del and Donna Reeves (Colorado?)

Sean and Erin Keegan (Tennessee?)

John and Mona Lovstedt (Oahu)

Diane Mandeville (San Diego?)

Dave and Susan Edwards (California?)

In or out...anyone know?

Hi Rene,

This is Shelley. I used to work at Lake Stevens High School (before twi), and then moved to Hawaii. Met you at the Adv. Class at Rome City, and then we usually bumped into each other at the Rock, and an Adv. Class Special up in the Everett area one year. We've been out since 2000, and I've wondered about you often! More later, OK? Good to hear that you're out and doing great. Will email you later.