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oilfieldmedic

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Posts posted by oilfieldmedic

    Musician jokes

    in Humor

    Posted

    You know why a banjo player is up and down the neck of a banjo when he plays along with a guitar...and the guitar players just finds one place and stays there?

    He is just looking for what I've already found.

    Ok, it's corny!

    I have been playing guitar too many years...sigh I just haven't been able to change my right hand finger picking patterns.

    any tips dmiller? And DON'T say practice- practice-practice...I want to be able to play Soldiers Joy like on the first "Circle Be Unbroken" album...remember that?

    Happy pickin' y'all

    One more thing..."You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose"

    Getting Into Heaven

    in Humor

    Posted

    A married couple after a few years of marriage discovered that the wife was ill.

    After progressively getting worse, ending up bed ridden at home, she unfortunately passed away.

    Upon meeting St Peter at the pearly gates, he asked her if she wants to get into heaven, she has to spell a word.

    She asked, "What word"?

    St Peter replies, "Spell Love"

    "That's easy...L-O-V-E"

    "C'mon in"

    Years later as she was walking by the pearly gates , St Peter asks her to watch the gate for a few minutes while he takes a break. While at the gate the man she was married to dies, appears at the gate and is surprised to see his former wife.

    She asks how the rest of his life went after she had died...he responds,

    " Do you remember that nurse who took care of you, once we got you home from the hospital? Well, we got married, made a ton of money in the stock market, travelled the world and had a great life"

    His former wife responds, " Honey that's great, I am glad you didn't sit around and mourn my death"

    He asks then, "how do I get into heaven"?

    She replies," Oh, its easy, just spell a word"

    "Go ahead, tell me the word", he asks

    Czechoslavakia! :rolleyes:

    Sushi and Abigail

    in Birthdays and Anniversaries

    Posted

    SUSHI & ABI

    Absolutely wonderful news.

    May God bless you as you both walk hand in hand through life.

    Absolutely wonderful news...wait I said that already...well, dang it, I'm just excited for ya'

    your favorite oilfieldmedic...John

    PS. Thanks for the CD...I got it yesterday

    The date 06-06-2006 is coming but what does mean?

    in Open

    Posted

    If I'm not mistaken...it's the day after the 5th, right?

    By the way, I may be guessing, but I bet you the 7th follows after the 6th

    Ah, I checked the calendar and it does...isn't it amazing how they get the numbers right year after year?

    No man knows the hour

    Have a blessed day/evening/night

    John :wave:

    Sugar Busters

    in Open

    Posted

    WOW (pardon the pun) Sudo...Good for you buddy!

    I haven't read Sugar Busters, but I will share some information if you care to read on...

    My wife lost 73 pounds back in 2003 with a combination of South Beach and Atkins. She exercised a lot too.

    From my understanding regarding weight loss...if one can get that engine (heart rate & metabolic rate) up a bit, you will then burn more fuel (calories) to feed that engine.

    Since we basically eat too many carb's (sugar & starch...all the same), we never actually go back into our warehouse to burn the stored fuel (fat) that the body keeps there.

    Our fuel comes from our diets, comprised of Protein, Carbohydrates & Fat....we have always been taught that our diets should contain: 70% Carb's--20% Protein---10% Fats.

    Atkins & South Beach eliminate the Carb's from the diet for a period of time, forcing the body to go into a state called Ketosis...which when activated, the body tells the brain to go back into the warehouse and change some of the fuel stores (fat) back into energy and burn them as fuel for our (engines) metabolic cycle.

    I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, that South Beach introduces Carb's back into the diet sooner than Atkins...and that they are the "Right Type" of Carb's...ones that burn faster (short chain carbs)...these are also referred to as High Glycemic Index Carbs.

    and need I say, that some of our warehouses (fat stores) are bigger than others...talk to your doctor always before starting any type of life-changing diet...or your local cyber-dentist and/or medic....

    Now I don't claim to be a nutrionist or guru here, but this has worked for quite a few folks around camp here, some have lost up to 35 pounds over a 2-3 month period.

    Incidently, I know that a safe rate of weight loss is around 2 pounds a week, placing no strain on the heart...some periods of plateaus are involved when you won't loose any, but that happens with most diets.

    I have a little spread sheet available if anyone is interested, on the types of foods, etc you can eat, I'd be happy to send you. oilfieldmedic@hotmail.com...but like I said though, make sure you check with your doctor first.

    John...aka Smokey...aka oilfieldmedic

    New Year's Eve Festivities

    in Open

    Posted

    Asleep by 8:30-9:00...up at 3:30-4am...then check my email. stop by the Cafe, take a shower, eat breakfast...go to work.

    You're all thinking by now I'm sure..."He should changed his handle to MR Excitement", huh?

    Whatever your plans are, may they be most enjoyable and stay safe !

    John

    E-mail Scams

    in Open

    Posted

    Ok...this is really real, uh...er true...uh...God told me to...uh... tell you all to send me all your creditcard numbers and passwords, ok?

    Send this message to 12 of your friends in the next 5 minutes...and the blue bird of happiness will splat your house with ...uh...money...uh...well, with something anyway...c'mon this really works!

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