Xena

I love happy stories. Give us more details.

Sounds like Oldiesdude is just trying to get us to take a little responsibility ourselves for hanging out with the TWI tribe. That's healthy, don't you think? Yes, they were a bad bunch, no doubt, and we got tricked, but to some degree that was, as Oldies says, our own fault. Now, Oldies, I also think that most of us have indeed taken that responsibility, acknowledged that we were "had", and are double-darn-sure to never get tricked again. Mr. O, you must admit, that the Trick-er is more at fault than the Trick-ee. And the Trick, itself, was entrenched in spiritual darkness. We were "miserable" in the name of God. That's really sick. That's really sad. And I think the (dark) spiritual component is what kept us "in". While I agree that we should accept the responsibility for being so tricked, I also believe we should pat ourselves on the back for living long enough to tell the tale.

Thanks for bringing this topic back, Belle. Do you think divorce is ever "God's will"? Not the general practice of divorce, but maybe in individual cases? In the story of Abigail, she is married to a major bad person, yet she continues to be the good wife, until he dies. It seems like God would have / could have told Abigail to get out of that situation, if it had been His "will". I have heard other women refer to Abigail as the perfect wife, but I don't want to be like her.

There are a lot of so-called "paranormal" things out there. Certainly, many are fake, but some are authentic. The Way convinced us that anything which was not explainable was probably the work of the Adversary. By doing this, the Way maintained all the power, don't you see? People wouldn't question how some strange event or item functioned, because we just chalked it up to the Devil. It prohibited us from learning and from considering possibilities other than Way teachings. It was like when people were all taught that the earth was flat. Nobody bothered to consider otherwise. Of course, when unexplainable things happened for the good, it was always said to be because some Way Believer was present, again identifying the power with the Ministry. The Advanced Class served to make all of us feel a little guilty and to cause us to question our own righteousness, because everyone has done some of the things which were taught to be "devil-ish". Like reading the Tolkein books, listening to certain music, wearing a cross. It also alienated us from all the other people in the world, who were also doing such things, because surely they were possessed. Con men and their hustles? The Way was the biggest of all.

This may sound really stupid, but do you think it's harder to file for the divorce or to have the papers served to you?

I was taught in fellowship that if children were disobedient, it was because their mother was not submitting to their father.

My counselor told me "Nobody owes their whole life to somebody else". She does not do her counseling with any sort of Christian orientation, but her comment made me think about Jesus Christ. He gave up his life for all of us. I don't have to be Jesus Christ. But throughout my upbringing and then later my Way Ministry involvement, I got into this rut of believing that marriage should be for your whole life. How do you shift your thinking away from that old stuff? Divorce feels like something I don't have the guts to do. Afraid of my own conscience.

Cindy, You said a relationship is healthy, if after spending time with that person, you feel good about who your are. That really hit home, becuase when I spend time with my husband, I physically hurt, am in severe bodily pain, even though he does not touch me. It's beyond feeling good, or bad, about "who I am". It becomes concrete in the physical.

Been separated for about a year. Trying to figure out the next step. This involves clearing out a lot of Way Ministry junk from my head. They knew zero about relationships.

HCW - You make it sound like an abused spouse is expected, by God, to divorce the abuser. Do you think it is going against God, then, to stay with an abusive spouse? Explain where forgiveness ends and codependence begins. Aren't we supposed to forgive? When the definition of "abuse" is so all-inclusive, how can the abused spouse know when enough is enough? ie If there are no black and blue marks, but there is lots of mental anguish, at what point does a Christian spouse call the lawyer? I think spiritual discernment is next-to-impossible between husbands and wives. It's so subjective.