I have to agree that the perception of success is overrated.
I know lots of people with (apparantly) lots of money who are not what they seem to be and I question their happiness as being two different people has got to cause conflicts and hurt sometimes. I have called them veneered people, folks who have a face on to impress the public but who in private hold many dark secrets.
I know several people who made lots of money through less than honorable means who have paid a steep price for their success. One family was implicated in the deaths of two teenaged girls (GHB) and lost a son, another's father and daughter were killed because they danced too close to the flame.
Others I have observed will go to great lengths to preserve their *social standing* to the point of getting on local prime time news and making fools of themselves defending a teacher who pled guilty (after a bit of arm twisting...) to sexual battery (after being charged with child molestion).
Others I have known have done some downright vicious deeds to preserve their empire.
I think in some regards the quest for success leads those with weak minds/morals/ethics into compromising postions.
I found myself there once, sorta stuck between a rock and a hard place. I chose the hard place and I think it was the best choice after all :)
Success to me is:
Being comfortable with who I am and being able to sleep easy at night because my consious is clear.
Having a good relationship with my children.
Being able to talk with someone and look them directly in the eye while we speak and to do so with honerable intentions.
Working a job that challenges my skills. causes a generational change and that I have fun doing (finding/developing this ideal job however creates development and inplimentation problems which are not always fun)
Having a core group of friends I can trust to bounce my brain against
My friend Craig. He was married to a fine intelligent woman, an obgyn nurse. He owned three restaurants, a duplex, two homes and a lake house. He was also behind a downtown revitalization project and was dabbling in real estate speculation.
Thw Truth:
He also had a cocaine addiction.
He died last year.
My Facts:
Craig was a caring kind man. He assisted restaurants to open up in the downtown area and was a great influence in revitatlising the square. He helped student wait staff make the right connections and occasionally bailed an employee out of jail. A few months before he died he chartered a bus to take his employee's to an Allman Bro's concert, replete with kegs and a smoking room.
During the last few years before he died we talked about addiction, manic depression and domestic violence. We did not pull punches but I could sense, later, that he had made his choice.
He fired me a week before he died. I am ok with that, he had other things on his mind.
I think those events made me more aware that no matter how high a person might fly, they are still limited by thier ability to master their own demons. More than one person has been brought down by glory or greed.
Having kids made me totally revise my concept of success.
If they're still alive at the end of the day - it was a successful day.
Seriously, it's no longer about me or what I'm doing in life - my #1 job is to protect them and to provide for them. My title in the 'outside' world is squat - I'm not on any career path at the moment. I have two businesses I run from home - neither is on any fast track - the jobs I take in get done when I can do them. My priorities are different - but I'm happy, overall. Perhaps that will change and I'll go back to a career path, but babies don't stay babies forever, so I'm soaking it all in now, while I can!
I only work part time so I can spend as much time as possible with my daughter. I can't believe she's about 3 months away from her 10th birthday already!
I have this on my bulletin board in my office:
"The definition of success--To laugh much; to win respect of intelligent persons and the affections of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition.; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm, and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived--this is to have succeeded."
Remembering the definition of abundance as being "more than enough", I've grown to feel successful with that little definition.
So, if my family has more than enough and we aren't running out of month before the end of the money, bills paid, viddles on the table and breathing, I've had a successful day.
Like I've said since I was 19 yrs old. I haven't had a bad day since, and there's no reason to change that now.
Being thankful, has also had a huge influence on my attitude of success. I'm thankful for the people I've known and the things I've done....with time and money and relationships that were more numerous than I ever expected.
Right now, I have siblings that would consider me less than a success. And I definately consider myself a work-in-progress. But still, if my life ended tomorrow, I would consider myself a success because I have reached a point of daily peace and contentment. That doesn't mean I can't do better. It doesn't mean I stop trying. It doesn't mean I don't have bad days. It means, I am not all stressed out by my station in life, as I once was. I'm not terribly concerned about what other people think of me, as I once was. I've made mistakes, but mostly I think I've corrected them with decent results. I have time and resources to give to myself, my family, my friends, and even strangers. And I do. That is success.
My days have been so busy, living a situation that is far from the norm, success and other topics haven't gotten much thought... life's been about getting the necessities done!
'TheHighWay's' choice speaks loudly for me:
Success = self-contentment without harming others
I have found it to be true, that no matter what is going on in my life, if situations become 'bad' or 'rough' and I let my thoughts go 'South', then it's 'bad' or 'rough'... IF during those 'not so nice' times I keep a positive attitude, I feel better, and the 'bad stuff’ doesn't seem to last very long...
To keep going, to stay kind and thankful, to accomplish what is set out to do... that would be a successful situation!
This has been a challenging six months or so for me. I became ill in December, hospitalized in January, diagnosed with an illness in March. Had two surgeries in March. Was on meds for 10 weeks that caused major mood swings. Paid 05 and 06 insurance deductables. Went from 40 hr work to 10. Wiped out our savings account all by myself.
But guess what-- I didn't have any absolutely horrible days. Hubby was there for me, my kids didn't suffer, they were very helpful with cooking etc. I'm very proud of them.
I was able to do promo for both a novel and a short story I got published, a long desired goal. I wrote a novella and two shorts for submission. We had sleep overs and school dances and American Idol family nights, started seedlings, got a new kitten.
Life wasn't perfect, but it wasn't awful, either. Having the comfort of loved ones in times of trouble is success.
Today I found out I don't have another doc appt until July! Since December I've seen docs almost weekly, so that's a big deal. We'll celebrate.
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herbiejuan
Interesting observations Belle.
I have to agree that the perception of success is overrated.
I know lots of people with (apparantly) lots of money who are not what they seem to be and I question their happiness as being two different people has got to cause conflicts and hurt sometimes. I have called them veneered people, folks who have a face on to impress the public but who in private hold many dark secrets.
I know several people who made lots of money through less than honorable means who have paid a steep price for their success. One family was implicated in the deaths of two teenaged girls (GHB) and lost a son, another's father and daughter were killed because they danced too close to the flame.
Others I have observed will go to great lengths to preserve their *social standing* to the point of getting on local prime time news and making fools of themselves defending a teacher who pled guilty (after a bit of arm twisting...) to sexual battery (after being charged with child molestion).
Others I have known have done some downright vicious deeds to preserve their empire.
I think in some regards the quest for success leads those with weak minds/morals/ethics into compromising postions.
I found myself there once, sorta stuck between a rock and a hard place. I chose the hard place and I think it was the best choice after all :)
Success to me is:
Being comfortable with who I am and being able to sleep easy at night because my consious is clear.
Having a good relationship with my children.
Being able to talk with someone and look them directly in the eye while we speak and to do so with honerable intentions.
Working a job that challenges my skills. causes a generational change and that I have fun doing (finding/developing this ideal job however creates development and inplimentation problems which are not always fun)
Having a core group of friends I can trust to bounce my brain against
Being at peace with myself and others ;)
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herbiejuan
The Image:
My friend Craig. He was married to a fine intelligent woman, an obgyn nurse. He owned three restaurants, a duplex, two homes and a lake house. He was also behind a downtown revitalization project and was dabbling in real estate speculation.
Thw Truth:
He also had a cocaine addiction.
He died last year.
My Facts:
Craig was a caring kind man. He assisted restaurants to open up in the downtown area and was a great influence in revitatlising the square. He helped student wait staff make the right connections and occasionally bailed an employee out of jail. A few months before he died he chartered a bus to take his employee's to an Allman Bro's concert, replete with kegs and a smoking room.
During the last few years before he died we talked about addiction, manic depression and domestic violence. We did not pull punches but I could sense, later, that he had made his choice.
He fired me a week before he died. I am ok with that, he had other things on his mind.
I think those events made me more aware that no matter how high a person might fly, they are still limited by thier ability to master their own demons. More than one person has been brought down by glory or greed.
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ChasUFarley
Having kids made me totally revise my concept of success.
If they're still alive at the end of the day - it was a successful day.
Seriously, it's no longer about me or what I'm doing in life - my #1 job is to protect them and to provide for them. My title in the 'outside' world is squat - I'm not on any career path at the moment. I have two businesses I run from home - neither is on any fast track - the jobs I take in get done when I can do them. My priorities are different - but I'm happy, overall. Perhaps that will change and I'll go back to a career path, but babies don't stay babies forever, so I'm soaking it all in now, while I can!
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herbiejuan
Thanks Chas for reminding me of kids and the joys of being home when they got off the bus...
Thats another plus for the relaxed success program, enjoy the journey :)
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I Love Bagpipes
Perspective...ain't it great.
I just edited my signature. It's about success....Fred Rogers style.
And I like my daughter's definition. She just graduated high school.
A camp director asked Sarah, "What is your definition of success?"
Sarah thought momentarily and answered, "Whenever I go into a situation..when I walk away, if I have learned one thing, I have been successful."
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bowtwi
I only work part time so I can spend as much time as possible with my daughter. I can't believe she's about 3 months away from her 10th birthday already!
I have this on my bulletin board in my office:
"The definition of success--To laugh much; to win respect of intelligent persons and the affections of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition.; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm, and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived--this is to have succeeded."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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YIdon'tgotochurch
Success is just a heartbeat away.
Remembering the definition of abundance as being "more than enough", I've grown to feel successful with that little definition.
So, if my family has more than enough and we aren't running out of month before the end of the money, bills paid, viddles on the table and breathing, I've had a successful day.
Like I've said since I was 19 yrs old. I haven't had a bad day since, and there's no reason to change that now.
Being thankful, has also had a huge influence on my attitude of success. I'm thankful for the people I've known and the things I've done....with time and money and relationships that were more numerous than I ever expected.
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TheHighWay
I gotta go with:
Success = self-contentment without harming others
Right now, I have siblings that would consider me less than a success. And I definately consider myself a work-in-progress. But still, if my life ended tomorrow, I would consider myself a success because I have reached a point of daily peace and contentment. That doesn't mean I can't do better. It doesn't mean I stop trying. It doesn't mean I don't have bad days. It means, I am not all stressed out by my station in life, as I once was. I'm not terribly concerned about what other people think of me, as I once was. I've made mistakes, but mostly I think I've corrected them with decent results. I have time and resources to give to myself, my family, my friends, and even strangers. And I do. That is success.
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SafariVista
All very interesting!
My days have been so busy, living a situation that is far from the norm, success and other topics haven't gotten much thought... life's been about getting the necessities done!
'TheHighWay's' choice speaks loudly for me:
I have found it to be true, that no matter what is going on in my life, if situations become 'bad' or 'rough' and I let my thoughts go 'South', then it's 'bad' or 'rough'... IF during those 'not so nice' times I keep a positive attitude, I feel better, and the 'bad stuff’ doesn't seem to last very long...
To keep going, to stay kind and thankful, to accomplish what is set out to do... that would be a successful situation!
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Bramble
This has been a challenging six months or so for me. I became ill in December, hospitalized in January, diagnosed with an illness in March. Had two surgeries in March. Was on meds for 10 weeks that caused major mood swings. Paid 05 and 06 insurance deductables. Went from 40 hr work to 10. Wiped out our savings account all by myself.
But guess what-- I didn't have any absolutely horrible days. Hubby was there for me, my kids didn't suffer, they were very helpful with cooking etc. I'm very proud of them.
I was able to do promo for both a novel and a short story I got published, a long desired goal. I wrote a novella and two shorts for submission. We had sleep overs and school dances and American Idol family nights, started seedlings, got a new kitten.
Life wasn't perfect, but it wasn't awful, either. Having the comfort of loved ones in times of trouble is success.
Today I found out I don't have another doc appt until July! Since December I've seen docs almost weekly, so that's a big deal. We'll celebrate.
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