Smart A** Answers

[polar bear]

SMART foot ANSWER #6

> It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.

> "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in

>front.

> "What are my choices?" John asked.

> "Yes or no," she replied.

>

> SMART foot ANSWER #5

>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

> As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

>his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I

>need to see your ticket not your stub."

>

> SMART foot ANSWER #4

> A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but

>she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

> She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

> The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

>

> SMART foot ANSWER #3

> The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

>rolled down his window.

> "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

> The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

> When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without

>a ticket.

>

> SMART foot ANSWER #2

>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

>reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of

>him and he gets stuck under the bridge.

>Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets

>out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips

>and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering

>this bridge and ran out of gas."

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> SMART foot ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class,

>I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

> I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness,

>or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses

>whatsoever!" A smart-foot guy in the back of the room raised his hand and

>asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete

>and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and

>snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the

>student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to

>write the exam with your other hand."

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[dmiller]

Two more smartA$$ replies --

Man has a flat tire, and manages to make it into a service station.

Attendant there looks at the flat, and says ----

Hmmmmmm. Get a flat tire did you??

Man driving the car says No --- suddenly all these other three just swelled up on me!

It was Christmas time, so I bought an evergreen wreath for my front door.

Person behind me in line at thew store said ---

"Hey, you gonna put that on your front door??"

I said -- "No. I'm gonna use it for a toilet seat cover.

I go the idea from Martha Stewart."