my personal understanding of death and dying has been most powerfully influenced by my experience and training in my profession.......i have learned about the dignity of the human spirit (and its opposite), by providing end-of-life care in the hospital setting, and by having the privilege of working with and observing hospice nurses.........who, imho, are the greatest "living epistles" of caring for the dying and their loved ones, anywhere on the planet!!
I agree with you. I thank God for them. thank you for your post, I appreciated reading the whole thing.
Hello A La!.........and hello to all you wonderful greasespotters who have posted on this thread!.........your hearts and compassion have been most inspiring........thank you!
TWI'S ridiculous and emotionally cruel "teachings" regarding death and the dying, were rooted in the "great fear" common to mankind,....the fear of death!.....countless volumes, by thousands of great philosophical thinkers, have wrestled with this most primal of fears common to the human soul.....many have positted that most of the world's great religions owe their "genesis" to the quest to answer or eliminate this fear.
my experience with twi's teachings is, that they were totally subjective and rooted in vic's personal fear of death and martindale's immature ignorance which compounded his own fear of death and lack of understanding regarding it.......both these "mogs" taught what was most convenient to them personally at the time, and,... according to the specific circumstances surrounding the death of various people,..... which "required" some sort of public "explanation" to alleviate their (vic's and martindale's) own personal fears, and handle the confusion caused by whatever questions those deaths raised.
"accidental deaths" were always hyper-analyzed by these foolish mogs!.....always to prove that the accidents which caused the untimely deaths of the victims, were the fault of those victims!.....always, there was the public scrutiny as to where the dead disobeyed or missed "revelation" from god or the mogs, that would have avoided the accidents altogether, or, avoided the deaths caused by the victims' unbelief!.....this was always meant to prove vic's or martindale's "superior spiritual insight" into the "real causes" of the accidents or to highlight their superior "believing ability" to walk with god, and, thereby have "all the answers" to the unanswerable questions raised in the hearts of the victims' families and friends.......these public statements were nothing more than egotistical, self-serving, speechmaking on their part, and accomplished the opposite of the comfort vic and martindale could and should have provided to the grieving!.....it was arrogant, cruel, and hopelessly out of touch with reality!
there was very little teaching given to twi clergy regarding funeral services for beleivers...... as a matter of fact, beyond the "edict" to push for a closed casket at the service or funeral home, the obvious scripture references to "the hope", and/or "the gathering together", and the positive focus encouraged for the eulogy content......there was just about NOTHING taught!.........actually, i never saw vic or the dancing prez ever officiate at any funeral the entire time i was in twi!!
regarding non-accidental deaths of believers, there was general confusion amongst twi clergy as to how to handle funeral services.....so, the poor believers were stuck with whatever the personal sensibilities (or lack thereof) of the local corps or clergy were, regarding death and dying!.....needless to say, this caused an almost total lack of professional, comfort and support for the grieving families left behind!!
my personal understanding of death and dying has been most powerfully influenced by my experience and training in my profession.......i have learned about the dignity of the human spirit (and its opposite), by providing end-of-life care in the hospital setting, and by having the privilege of working with and observing hospice nurses.........who, imho, are the greatest "living epistles" of caring for the dying and their loved ones, anywhere on the planet!!.....they are truly amazing and caring people who provide a service to their fellow humans that is incredibly admirable!...they have taught me more about the "right way" to perceive, understand, and accept the inevitable end of human life on earth than a thousand lifetimes of trying to ferret out twi's "teachings" on the subject could ever have provided!!.....their empathetic, tireless, and selfless care is objective, non-judgmental, and totally comforting to both patients and families!..... the art and science of their care is an outstanding human achievement, imho......there is no emotional cruelty inflicted by them.....there are no "excuses" made, there are no painful analyses put forth......just dignified, gracious, care to those who need it!!..........truly a beauty to behold!
i'm sure A La and her siser can testify to the help hospice nurses provided for both A La's brother-in-law and her sister.......i'm sure they learned more about death and dying from them than they ever knew before......and, i'm sure they'll never forget those caregivers and the service they provided!
death is the ugly, painful, part of the "circle of life"........no one is ever really "ready" for it until it's upon you.......no one ever knows how to "deal with it" until they have to......when that time comes, i hope they are lucky enough to have a loving family to provide support, a hospice nurse to provide care, and total freedom from any remnants of twi theology to provide for kindness and understanding!!
i too, am sorry for your loss A La!......................................................................peace.
amen
amen
to all but DWBH's last paragraph, in general
because history is full of practices to start preparing for "it" as early as the age of 30
to add...
i am truly sorry if this post comes across too blunt for anyone
or too loose and written poorly
perhaps envision me softly weeping as i write this...as i often do
as i consider this to be the topic of utmost concern to all of us
in my studies and experiences in end-of-life care and hospice history
it is becoming ever clearer to me that the most common ground of most all religious traditions sprang from "the art of dying"
which includes the various transitions during life (birth, rites of passage, eldering, etc..)
those who practiced "dying before they died" were doing so in order to help "midwife" others in that transition
by devoting oneself to the interior life of a contemplative ... this was the actual practice of all our bible heroes
for the purpose of becoming the ones who helped hold space for dying ..those truly weightier matters
and other types of healing when physical healing is not possible
measured in terms of things like meaning, forgiveness, relatedness, hope
(things that typically do not show up on hospital charts, sadly)
most all modern mainstream religion (especially groups like TWI...as DBWH hit so well) makes the same mistakes as modern mainstream science in this regard
in that they do not realize how soaking wet we are in a global denial of death that has been going on for more than a century
and are seeped in ignorance and avoidance of large swaths of religious history
and are basically UNABLE to discern the practical deeper meanings or applications of ANY world's scirptures
so they use scriptures for a wide variety of things they were never meant to be used for
causing no end to misunderstanding and confusion and suffering and naive war and prejudice
"bas sona" is a gaelic greeting for "may you have a happy death"
such the kind when we are wide awake, pain free, ready inside, and surrounded music we love, and by loved ones who are also ready (as they can be) in heart and mind
...such cannot (and should not) be forced or faked
and "the dying are our greatest spiritual teachers" is another maxim that keeps us humble and wise and receptive to deeper insights
"the wounded healer" is a notion that all caregivers should learn, as well
in how the dying person may be the one who offers insight into their own healing process..even if they still die
or how the psalms were prescribed as medicine (to be sung by healers and the dying) for healing spiritual pain by christians, jews and muslims (together)
by recognizing the spectrum of music moods and how they effect our emotional and mental relationships with our bodies and community
the process of dying takes years (if not our whole life),
just as the process of grief takes years (if not our whole life)
yet we want is over with and out of the way as soon as possible these days
which basically only causes more suffering in all the unfinished business we dont get to
stuff left undone when someone in our life dies always comes up again when we do
and this causes more hell on earth...the likes of which i dont have to convince anyone here
imo, the whole bible (OT and NT) can only be understood in the context of a "jewish book of dying"
and if death is the last enemy to be destroyed
its not because it magically goes away from the earth
but because it ceases being our enemy
because we have "died before we died"
which is what Jesus taught and lived
anyway...here are some useful links on the topic...with plenty of white rabbits to follow:
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I agree with you. I thank God for them. thank you for your post, I appreciated reading the whole thing.
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sirguessalot
amen
amen
to all but DWBH's last paragraph, in general
because history is full of practices to start preparing for "it" as early as the age of 30
to add...
i am truly sorry if this post comes across too blunt for anyone
or too loose and written poorly
perhaps envision me softly weeping as i write this...as i often do
as i consider this to be the topic of utmost concern to all of us
in my studies and experiences in end-of-life care and hospice history
it is becoming ever clearer to me that the most common ground of most all religious traditions sprang from "the art of dying"
which includes the various transitions during life (birth, rites of passage, eldering, etc..)
those who practiced "dying before they died" were doing so in order to help "midwife" others in that transition
by devoting oneself to the interior life of a contemplative ... this was the actual practice of all our bible heroes
for the purpose of becoming the ones who helped hold space for dying ..those truly weightier matters
and other types of healing when physical healing is not possible
measured in terms of things like meaning, forgiveness, relatedness, hope
(things that typically do not show up on hospital charts, sadly)
most all modern mainstream religion (especially groups like TWI...as DBWH hit so well) makes the same mistakes as modern mainstream science in this regard
in that they do not realize how soaking wet we are in a global denial of death that has been going on for more than a century
and are seeped in ignorance and avoidance of large swaths of religious history
and are basically UNABLE to discern the practical deeper meanings or applications of ANY world's scirptures
so they use scriptures for a wide variety of things they were never meant to be used for
causing no end to misunderstanding and confusion and suffering and naive war and prejudice
"bas sona" is a gaelic greeting for "may you have a happy death"
such the kind when we are wide awake, pain free, ready inside, and surrounded music we love, and by loved ones who are also ready (as they can be) in heart and mind
...such cannot (and should not) be forced or faked
and "the dying are our greatest spiritual teachers" is another maxim that keeps us humble and wise and receptive to deeper insights
"the wounded healer" is a notion that all caregivers should learn, as well
in how the dying person may be the one who offers insight into their own healing process..even if they still die
or how the psalms were prescribed as medicine (to be sung by healers and the dying) for healing spiritual pain by christians, jews and muslims (together)
by recognizing the spectrum of music moods and how they effect our emotional and mental relationships with our bodies and community
the process of dying takes years (if not our whole life),
just as the process of grief takes years (if not our whole life)
yet we want is over with and out of the way as soon as possible these days
which basically only causes more suffering in all the unfinished business we dont get to
stuff left undone when someone in our life dies always comes up again when we do
and this causes more hell on earth...the likes of which i dont have to convince anyone here
imo, the whole bible (OT and NT) can only be understood in the context of a "jewish book of dying"
and if death is the last enemy to be destroyed
its not because it magically goes away from the earth
but because it ceases being our enemy
because we have "died before we died"
which is what Jesus taught and lived
anyway...here are some useful links on the topic...with plenty of white rabbits to follow:
Dying Well
Denial of Death
Crisis, Grief and Healing
End of Life Books
Coma Communication
thanks a mil A La for starting this thread
all grace,
Todd
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