I have been recently reading some of Kristen Skedgell's blogs. I'm not sure if you knew this lady ... as she was in the 8th corps. Regardless, she has since spoken about her life in The Way and her sexual abuses.
I felt her comment about victims was poignant and needed to be heard here.
VMP. I just learned a new acronym. I always love learning new acronyms. This one sounds like a venereal disease. Actually, it stands for “Victim Mentality Propaganda.”
Now, what’s interesting about this “condition” is that it connects the word “mentality” with “propaganda.” Of course, there are people who are perpetual victims, who blame the world for their problems and take no responsibility for their lives themselves.
But those who WERE victims and have moved beyond it, have a story to tell. That is not propaganda – that is the survivor’s story, the cautionary tale. That is what my memoir is.
Unfortunately VMP comes precariously close to “BVM” or “Blaming the Victim Mentality.” This acronym (I just made it up) came in response to a book called "Blaming the Victim" about women (primarily) who have experienced sexual abuse or domestic violence. It answers the question of “Why didn’t she just leave? No one was putting a gun to her head.” In some cases, there was a gun. In some cases, just the threat of a gun was enough.
I can recall many times in my cult when I was threatened with death, destruction or maiming if I were to leave. I was convinced the devil would take me if I left and yes, I took it very seriously. I was under the thrall of mind control.
It takes a great deal of courage (if not desperation) to finally leave any abusive situation. But psychological or spiritual abuse is the most challenging precisely because there IS no gun. One can argue that “it’s all in your head,” like the “gaslight effect.” (If you’ve never seen the movie “Gaslight,” I highly recommend it.) But that is the essence of mind control – that you think it is all in your mind when it is not. There are outside forces at work.
Healing is a process from victim to survivor to thriver. As a victim, I was stuck in my abusive situation. As a survivor, I excaped. As a thriver, I now live and share what I have learned through VMP -Victim Mentality Freedom. But I am ever mindful of those victims who are still caught in their desctructive webs of abuse and are trying to break free. I pray that my story (not propaganda) may assist them in some small way.
You can listen to her interview here on GS and read more blogs on the link posted on that thread.
a little from “ego development theory” as it is studied in management contexts...
of the 6 or so stages of ego (more like 9 with all the sub-stages), VPW's management style seems to fit the description somewhere between Impulsive Stage 2 and the Self-Protective stage 2.5 (also called "Opportunist")
which = about 5% of managers in the US
some snippets from stage 2 management style....
...shows signs of beginning use of language.
...thinks in crude dichotomies
...concerned with safety and gratification of basic needs.
...reflects only a first person perspective.
...emerging ego reflected in such statements as "I want" and "mine."
...magical ideas prevail and a sense of unlimited power.
...one’s punishment is not related to one's behaviour but perceived as random or retaliatory.
...inadequate conception of the complexities of adult life...
some snippets from stage 2.5 management style...
...familiar to most of us from watching or dealing with toddlers....everything becomes a test of wills.
...tantrums are a result of thwarted will as well as reaction to conflicting needs and wants.
...wary of others' intentions and assume the worst.
...Life is a sum-zero game "I win, you lose."
...only sees the world from the perspective of their own needs and wants.
...incapable of insight into themselves or others.
...self is not yet a separate adult, but synonymous with one's own wills, ideas, wishes.
...beginning ability to anticipate reactions in others
…"if i understand what others are after, i can better manipulate them to get what i want."
...others are to blame, never oneself.
...the world is a hostile dangerous place.
...anger towards the world is projected outwards.
...self-perpetuating dynamic of very low trust and hyper-vigilance.
…showing weakness of any kind is dangerous
…use system of distortion to minimize anxiety and maximize self-esteem
yada yada
...
and as i read through stages 3 and higher, i only see some qualities that match TWI’s organizational style. ..and none in stage 4 and beyond
and because stage 3 is that of an in-group follower…where the ego over-identifies with a group…it seems as if the leadership style of TWI was less-developed than the followers (thus, pulling followers down to earlier organizational structures).
such as how schoolyard bullies, or mob bosses, when unchecked, can gain control and influence over packs of children that are a little more civilized and sophisticated than even themselves.
...
summary...
stage 2 and 2.5 for leaders
stage 3 for followers
stage 4 and beyond = "enemies"
...
btw…as “ego-development” pertains to being “born again,” it seems that the management style of the biblical “born again” Paul was such a radical shift in self-perception as to only be described by stage 6…where the ego is finally transcended but included
…accepting, unassuming presence, fully empathetic, non-interfering ability to be with whatever is
...sees the dignity in all manifestations of life
…non-demanding, non-controlling, down-to-earth
…aware that they are only a drop in the pool of ongoing evolution
…concern with global justice, spontaneity, existence and creativity
…cosmic, universal perspective
…“witnessing” rather than “observing”
...comfortable with paradox
...
of course, there is a lot more to all this, and these theories are just one model...but I thought some notes on ego studies as it can be identified in management styles might help the conversation.
imho, there are more than a few worldviews of difference between TWI management style and what might be considered an enlightened compassionate leadership style patterned after Jesus.
whether this means someone is "going to hell" or just getting their goodies held back from them when they get to heaven...seems another matter altogether
and as it seems i have konked out an active thread
i'll add a bit more thought-food to nibble on
then go away
...
as ive advocated before, that our sense of self develops along a spectrum
here is my own quick summary of possible management styles according to a portion of that spectrum
A) selfish...like the stage 2 and 2.5 i described above...tyranny, bullying, survival of the fittest, my way or the highway, bosses needs and wants above all (young children)
B) exclusive...family-oriented, teams, cults, clans, clubs, tribes, fans, our way or the highway, shared credos, shared cliches, shared mottos (children and teens)
C) expert...tested and tried, proven by peers, skilled craftsmen, pedigrees, colleges (teens and young adults)
D) social...free for all, services, social justice, freedom from prejudice, nonjudgemental, unbiased, democratic (adults)
E) introspective...self-discovery, deeper meaning and purpose, monastic service, esoteric seclusion, vocational and role rehab, transition and crisis (midlife)
F) transformers...system changers for service of all, individual movers and shakers, truly integrated leaders, councils of independents (elders)
notice how each one builds on the previous, and while an individual cannot skip stages, an individual of any stage can play (or try) a role in any level of management style
im sure its not hard to imagine how important it is for us all that adults do not remain in the ego stage of children
im also sure its not hard to spot where all of these are illustrated throughout the Bible
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A la prochaine
Jonny,
I have been recently reading some of Kristen Skedgell's blogs. I'm not sure if you knew this lady ... as she was in the 8th corps. Regardless, she has since spoken about her life in The Way and her sexual abuses.
I felt her comment about victims was poignant and needed to be heard here.
You can listen to her interview here on GS and read more blogs on the link posted on that thread.
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Share on other sites
sirguessalot
re: predatory management styles...
a little from “ego development theory” as it is studied in management contexts...
of the 6 or so stages of ego (more like 9 with all the sub-stages), VPW's management style seems to fit the description somewhere between Impulsive Stage 2 and the Self-Protective stage 2.5 (also called "Opportunist")
which = about 5% of managers in the US
some snippets from stage 2 management style....
...shows signs of beginning use of language.
...thinks in crude dichotomies
...concerned with safety and gratification of basic needs.
...reflects only a first person perspective.
...emerging ego reflected in such statements as "I want" and "mine."
...magical ideas prevail and a sense of unlimited power.
...one’s punishment is not related to one's behaviour but perceived as random or retaliatory.
...inadequate conception of the complexities of adult life...
some snippets from stage 2.5 management style...
...familiar to most of us from watching or dealing with toddlers....everything becomes a test of wills.
...tantrums are a result of thwarted will as well as reaction to conflicting needs and wants.
...wary of others' intentions and assume the worst.
...Life is a sum-zero game "I win, you lose."
...only sees the world from the perspective of their own needs and wants.
...incapable of insight into themselves or others.
...self is not yet a separate adult, but synonymous with one's own wills, ideas, wishes.
...beginning ability to anticipate reactions in others
…"if i understand what others are after, i can better manipulate them to get what i want."
...others are to blame, never oneself.
...the world is a hostile dangerous place.
...anger towards the world is projected outwards.
...self-perpetuating dynamic of very low trust and hyper-vigilance.
…showing weakness of any kind is dangerous
…use system of distortion to minimize anxiety and maximize self-esteem
yada yada
...
and as i read through stages 3 and higher, i only see some qualities that match TWI’s organizational style. ..and none in stage 4 and beyond
and because stage 3 is that of an in-group follower…where the ego over-identifies with a group…it seems as if the leadership style of TWI was less-developed than the followers (thus, pulling followers down to earlier organizational structures).
such as how schoolyard bullies, or mob bosses, when unchecked, can gain control and influence over packs of children that are a little more civilized and sophisticated than even themselves.
...
summary...
stage 2 and 2.5 for leaders
stage 3 for followers
stage 4 and beyond = "enemies"
...
btw…as “ego-development” pertains to being “born again,” it seems that the management style of the biblical “born again” Paul was such a radical shift in self-perception as to only be described by stage 6…where the ego is finally transcended but included
…accepting, unassuming presence, fully empathetic, non-interfering ability to be with whatever is
...sees the dignity in all manifestations of life
…non-demanding, non-controlling, down-to-earth
…aware that they are only a drop in the pool of ongoing evolution
…concern with global justice, spontaneity, existence and creativity
…cosmic, universal perspective
…“witnessing” rather than “observing”
...comfortable with paradox
...
of course, there is a lot more to all this, and these theories are just one model...but I thought some notes on ego studies as it can be identified in management styles might help the conversation.
imho, there are more than a few worldviews of difference between TWI management style and what might be considered an enlightened compassionate leadership style patterned after Jesus.
whether this means someone is "going to hell" or just getting their goodies held back from them when they get to heaven...seems another matter altogether
Edited by sirguessalotLink to comment
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A la prochaine
Sir guess..
wow... i'm going to have to read that a few times over to digest...
very interesting.
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sirguessalot
thanks a la
and as it seems i have konked out an active thread
i'll add a bit more thought-food to nibble on
then go away
...
as ive advocated before, that our sense of self develops along a spectrum
here is my own quick summary of possible management styles according to a portion of that spectrum
A) selfish...like the stage 2 and 2.5 i described above...tyranny, bullying, survival of the fittest, my way or the highway, bosses needs and wants above all (young children)
B) exclusive...family-oriented, teams, cults, clans, clubs, tribes, fans, our way or the highway, shared credos, shared cliches, shared mottos (children and teens)
C) expert...tested and tried, proven by peers, skilled craftsmen, pedigrees, colleges (teens and young adults)
D) social...free for all, services, social justice, freedom from prejudice, nonjudgemental, unbiased, democratic (adults)
E) introspective...self-discovery, deeper meaning and purpose, monastic service, esoteric seclusion, vocational and role rehab, transition and crisis (midlife)
F) transformers...system changers for service of all, individual movers and shakers, truly integrated leaders, councils of independents (elders)
notice how each one builds on the previous, and while an individual cannot skip stages, an individual of any stage can play (or try) a role in any level of management style
im sure its not hard to imagine how important it is for us all that adults do not remain in the ego stage of children
im also sure its not hard to spot where all of these are illustrated throughout the Bible
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excathedra
don't ever go away, sir t
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