How many of you NEVER want to fall in love again

[Dot Matrix]

Thanks for the encouragment and kindness everyone. You are great I appreciate your words

http://www.imeem.com/mark-diaz/music/h6pa4...to_say_goodbye/

George - I think you understood what I was saying. I really wanted to see others who decided alone was just fine and not trying was better than possible pain.

I feel you George.

The chance at "happy" is not worth the chance of "agony". I think alone is fine.

So, many folks who have divorced seem to be looking so soon afterward or even while married -- I am not of that ilk- not that you are wrong - that is how you feel and respond to life.

I just do not care.

I do not care that I come home to an empty house. I wondered if anyone else was okay with alone and would rather not try again than go through the possibility of a painful end.

Whatever motivates people to look again is missing in me.

George - I hear ya!

Where you and I differ is you are working....

I am asking the Lord to give me a path...

Edited April 23, 2008 by Dot Matrix

[Kevlar2000]

Dearest ((((Dot))))

(Forgive me for not commenting further. I wouldn't know how to begin. Just wanted you to know I've been thinking of of you.)

[Dot Matrix]

Thanks Kelvar

[lucyvanpelt]

Dot,

Maybe it's time for you. You seem to be waivering. I want love, I don't want love, I like to be alone, I miss him. Sounds like me a few years ago. It was partly menopause, don't laugh, that is horrible. and I want to slap the crap out of Eve someday. It is not fun.

I had this idea of what love was, what "he' was supposed to be like. all my idea. Farfetched and stupid, but it was my idea.

Then, I decided if I wanted the type of man I wanted then I need to be the type of woman that would attract that man. So, I settled into the single life. Three cats, dirty dishes in the sink, bras all over, the bed the way I like. Food I like, tv all to myself, and eventually worked on me. Looked into my heart and saw what was lacking and asked God to teach me, to help me and heal me.

And before I knew I happened upon this site in 2006 and checked out "State". He left a message looking for someone I knew. I responded to a two year old message. (didn't know that at the time). We emailed a few times, he asked for my phone number, we talked all the time. We spontaneously said our vows one night. It just slipped out. He came out to meet me. We spent two weeks together and he asked me to marry him. I traveled from Atlanta to Anderson Ca to be with him. Gave up everything to come here. Is he worth it? Not when he steals my sheets, no. Just kidding. I accept him for who is, and he gives me the same courtesty. It's love. I love him more than I love myself.

His name is Selah V. He is known in here and loved. He is doing great. I take very good care of him.

I was alone for 47 years. Never had a boyfriend. I was too busy having fun. I loved my life as a single woman. But there came a time when it became about more than just me.

Only you dear Dot will know that time. In the meantime, don't fret about it, just live babe!!

Lucy

[Dot Matrix]

Lucy

I appreciate your lovely answer as I have appreciated all the answers. I am glad you found true love.

I have always had a boyfriend or man in my life. I have wanted to be alone before and work on my own desires. Funny, but that seems to make men want to be in my life – MORE.

I am really not wavering. I do miss the good parts of my husband and marriage but I do not want any part of the pain the risk of a union can bring.

My point is through the years many have gone “looking here” and “else where” shortly BEFORE a divorce, and shortly after a divorce. I DO NOT HAVE THAT DESIRE or NEED in me to look.

I was wondering if anyone else felt that way – the risk is not worth the possibility of a bad ending. I think George is living what I am living – perhaps it is shell shock – or maybe survival. I do not know. But the need to look, the expectations of “finding someone” the desire to get on here “seeking” is not in me.

I have seen it in others. I just do not have “it” and wondered if anyone else did NOT feel the need to look, the desire to search, or the motivation to “try again”.

I thank everyone for their love and support and perhaps seeing my future with a person who loves me – thank you for your visions and great stories.

But I have no desire… I am unplugged from all of that. I am in a holding pattern of some kind and I like the feeling. Wondering if anyone else is in “that” place.

Grateful to God for others who are in a different place and the love stories they have shared.

[JeffSjo]

Hi Dot,

I don't feel pressed to be in another relationship at all since my divorce. I'm not against another marriage either, I'm convinced that it's my choice ultimately and I don't think that there is a straightforward commandment of the Lord either way.

So for today I'm content not being in a relationship.

I hope that you are completely settled in how you feel. I hope that if you change your mind you do so completely assured and at peace with your decision.

I THINK THIS IS WHAT'S REFERRED TO AS BEING AT LIBERTY TO CHOOSE.

God Bless and take care.

(edited for better grammar than "change you mind") (spelling too)

Edited April 24, 2008 by JeffSjo

[Dot Matrix]

Thanks Jef