Clergy Abuse--- Who really is to blame

[leafytwiglet]

So I was coming to the Forums today for a quick view and ran accross this article, on the main Greasspot page, about why when a clergy memeber has sex with a congragant it is not an affair.

here is the link to the full article.

http://www.greasespotcafe.com/main2/editorial/editorial-items/why-its-not-an-affair.html

after reading through it I found myself completely agreeing with it.

I think this is the most important part of it...

Oftentimes sexual contact between clergy and congregants is dismissed as an "affair" between "consenting adults". This is a misnomer for several reasons. First, the relationship between a clergy person and his/her congregants is professional in nature. That means that clergy have a responsibility to use the special knowledge, skills and gifts of their call for the benefit of those they serve namely their congregants. It also means that clergy have a responsibility to establish healthy professional relationships. Because clergy carry moral and spiritual authority, as well as professional power it is ALWAYS their responsibility to maintain an appropriate professional boundary.

The term "consenting adults" also reflects a misunderstanding of sexual behavior between clergy and congregants. It is assumed that because two people are adults that there is consent. In reality, consent is far more complex. In order for two people to give authentic consent to sexual activity there must be equal power. Clergy have more power because of the moral and spiritual authority of the office of pastor. In addition, education, community respect and public image add to the imbalance of power between a clergy person and a congregant.

And this

When speaking of sexual contact between clergy and congregants, the term professional misconduct or sexual exploitation is more accurate. It keeps the emphasis on the professional relationship and the exploitative nature of sexual behavior rather than placing blame on the victim/survivor. "An affair between consenting adults" is never an appropriate term to use when describing sexual contact between a minister and congregant. Accurate naming of the behavior is an important step to reshaping our thinking about this troubling reality in the church, how we name it reveals our belief about it. Holding clergy accountable with compassion and purpose and providing healing resources to churches and survivors is dependent on an accurate starting point.

I aslo found this article

It is professional misconduct when any person with ministerial authority* engages in:

Sexual activity with congregants or employees

Sexualized behavior with congregants or employees (jokes, touching, inappropriate gift giving)

Sexual harassment

Financial impropriety with individuals

Financial impropriety with organizations they serve

Such behavior violates the ministerial role and relationship and exploits the vulnerabilities of individuals and structures of religious organizations.

* Persons with ministerial authority include but are not limited to:

Ordained clergy

Commissioned lay persons, deacons (ordained or lay)

Church school teacher, youth group leaders, church musicians or camp counselors

These positions may be paid or volunteer

I read it at this web site

http://www.aeppp.org/

I found it informative and it helped me really understand what happened not just to those abused by The Way International, but to everyone who was a memeber whether we were aware of it or not.

IT also helps, at least for me, to clarify what happened to so many of the girls and women who were raped by VP or forced into sexual relationships by other Way International Leaders.

[chockfull]

I absolutely agree with you on clergy abuse. One of the main problems there is that unlike other types of professionals such as psychiatrists, lawyers, etc, clergy do not have a governing body that has the power to review their actions and revoke their license to continue to be a professional in their field.

[excathedra]

having been there and done that -- i think there is a thread somewhere about why it's not an affair -- i have to agree

i believe minister, pastors, overseers, etc. -- have quite a responsibility

yes, chock, start your own when you kicked out of one that has a governing body