Self Esteem

[Hopefull]

"Lack of self-esteem" is a term I heard quite often in my teen and pre-teen years. I had a father who was very critical, a mother who ignored me and a sister who manipulated me. (of course it is more complicated than that but that will do for here). My part in the family dymanics was that of the injured party which was at least as toxic a position as the other members in my immediate family. What good it would have done for me to say I don't give a crap what you think about me!

As a young adult I had to work very very hard to get out of the "poor me's". Self pity is an old habit that I have eliminated for the most part.

Ironically, after working so hard through counseling and other venues to heal and parent myself I went right back to my former insecurities in twi2 after getting my head messed with and am still working on it to this day. It is a fight to appear confident when you are not, concerned about others when your life seems to be falling apart, and civil when you want to scream or cry.

Other than that I am usually pretty darn loveable.

Hopefull

[Abigail]

Hopeful, thanks for sharing! I was the dreaded middle child, which in a normal family is not always the best position to be in. My family was NOT a normal family! I played the role of the peacemaker. Always trying to get my mom and my siblings to stop fighting.

Now to the next question at hand.............

Yes, I think I am usually liked and respected by those I like and respect. However, I intentionally do not spend much time with those who do not like and respect me. Life is too short to waste it spending time with people who cannot see the value I see in myself.