Heimlich

[Abigail]

Two southern hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"

The woman shakes her head no.

"Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbill walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly givers her right butt cheeck a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver,but I ain't never seen nobody do it."

[Kit Sober]

Received this today, and thought I might try it next time I wanted to be impressive.

quote:

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Three Women

Three women, one German, one Japanese and a hillbilly were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

The German woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.

The others looked at her questioningly. That was my pager, she said. I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished,she explained, That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.

The hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech.?ot to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.

She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her behind.

The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The hillbilly woman finally said, Will you look at that! I'm gettin' a fax.

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kit