Upstairs from us in our two-family house, lived my mom's sister, her husband, and her six children, my cousins.
The oldest cousin and I had hung out together for awhile when in high school and college, and had some of the same friends. One of her co-workers happened to be the Twig Leader for our neighborhood. He had invited her to some Twigs at his house, they might have even been dating. I'm not sure.
He had given her a Holiday card which was signed "God loves you and I do too", which my aunt showed me. She was concerned that my cousin was getting involved in something strange. (Ah Aunt P****, you were wiser than I gave you credit for!) My aunt asked me to accompany my cousin to one of the meetings.
Shortly thereafter, in Jan. 1978, I attended my first Twig. The people seemed pretty cool, and I heard quite a few things right off the bat that were different than what I had been taught growing up (JC is not God, the dead not alive, holy spirit and God not the same, speaking in tongues, etc)
I took this as a great opportunity to get into an argument, or at least a debate. I LOVED to argue, discuss, and debate. I was intrigued by what they had to say, and was impressed by their confidence in what they were saying. I got into a few arguments, but left on good terms with the people there.
Over the next few months I began to attend twigs on a regular basis, although not every week. I still attended Catholic mass every Sunday, and still drank beer and smoked pot.
At this time, I still looked at the twig as just another Christian group that had some interesting ideas, but hardly life-changing, or even that unique. We knew people at our church who spoke in tongues, and a lot of the other stuff was not that extra-ordinary when compared to eastern religons.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 14:45.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:15.]
After awhile I started to hear about a class that you could take to learn more about the bible. They were pretty low-key about it, and no one really pushed me to take it. They were going to be running it in Flushing, Queens and the instructor would be some guy named "Jerry". I later heard that the teacher was some guy named Wierwille from Ohio.
So...
...I figured that Jerry Wierwille from Ohio would be teaching the class in Flushing. (how long did it take them to figure out that "teacher" and "instructor" are synonymous?)
The more twigs I attended, the more I saw that there were MANY, MANY, MANY differences between what they were teaching at XXX's house and what I learned in church. There weren't this many differences between the Catholics and the Protestants, I thought.
I made an appointment to meet with one of the parish priests. I asked him to help me understand the differences, since they were both using basically the same bible. I didn't get it.
His answer was:
"We have 2000 years of tradition behind us, they don't"
I was surprised and not a little shocked that he would take it so lightly. If he had put a little bit of effort into it, he probably could have convinced me to stay with the Catholic church, I've heard plenty of arguments against the Way's point of view over the years, even pre-internet.
It was that night that I decided to sign up for the class. I went to the home where twig was run, they weren't there, so I left a note. One of them stopped by my house later and I paid my $100.
During the first week of March, I started the Power for Abundant Living Class.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 18:00.]
What was it about the class that made me believe it? Looking back across twenty-four years, it's really hard to tell. there were a lot of things that weren't actually in PFAL, but became part of the twi belief system, so it's sometimes hard to separate them.
Maybe it's because he documented enough things, chapter and verse, that I didn't notice when he pulled things out of his @$$. Despite that I now know he plagarized, and used shoddy research, he DID come up with verses to back up a lot of what he said.
He was able to set the stage by showing me that not everything I had been taught in church was right.
There was enough of a veneer of "research" that I hardly noticed the illogic at times. And when I did notice illogic, or errors, I figured they were minor, and could be overlooked, or that I was missing it somehow.
Vic was a master at slipping in concepts while you weren't looking. For example, he was supposedly teaching us about punctuation, but he was really teaching us about the difference between heaven and paradise. This took place all throughout PFAL.
Once I believed that churches were not interested in the truth, once I believed that he was legitimately researching the bible, he had me hooked.
VP may not have been a real researcher, he may have been a plagarist, he may have been many things, but he knew how to hook a sucker.
He had a line in the class where he claims to have proof of the resuurection, "beyond the writings of Josephus and others". That intrigued me, that hooked me. Turns out he was talking about speaking in tongues.
There were times during PFAL where I was bored, but I wanted to learn, so I hung in there.
There were times where I was electrified, like the part where he says "It's CHRIST in you, CHRIST in you, what power the church has, if we only KNEW IT!" (which interestingly enough, is not in the PFAL book)
There were things that I didn't understand. But the future promise of more classes hooked me.
Most nights after class, my cousin and I went home and "witnessed" to someone: friends, parents, anyone. My parents didn't want to hear it, nor did most of our friends. To me this stuff was so amazing, I was amazed that other people didn't want to know also. But in retrospect I was pretty obnoxious, saying, in effect: you don't know anything, I do, listen to me, you idiot!
But I think that if someone would have taken the time to show me, from the bible, how VP was wrong, I might have listened. Maybe the ones who could have done that figured that I wouldn't listen anyway. From twi's perspective, Catholics were prime targets because the details of the bible were not really taught, and we had no depth with which to resist the pressure put upon us.
At that time the Intermediate class was tacked on to the end of the foundational class, so by the end of March I was an intermediate class grad as well. Boy was I spiritual!
For the rest of the "ministry year" I semi-regularly attended twigs, and stopped going to church in late May of 1978. Already, people started to try to talk me into going WOW.
My cousin, who had started going to twigs before I did, dropped out before the Rock of Ages.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 15:50.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:16.]
For most of the remainder of the 1977-78 "ministry year" I had only sporadic contact with Way people. It still hadn't sunken in that the Way was a huge organization, spanning the country and the globe. I didn't get much pressure to conform from other twig folks, and since I was only a semi-regular, I missed any bad stuff that was going on.
I wasn't what you would call committed..........yet
In July, a was asked if I wanted to drive with someone to "The Rock".
"The Rock"? What was that?
This person was going WOW. Her husband was at the Advanced Class at Rome City. He would be staying for Rock of Ages setup and she needed a driver.
I always loved road trips (still do) and some of my friends from twig were going, so I said "what the hell" and agreed to go.
I had so much fun.
The people, the teachings, the grounds, everything was great in my eyes. THIS was what I was looking for.
I couldn't believe how CLEAN it was, how so many people got along, I was REALLY hooked now.
I don't remember many details other than staying in a hotel room in Celina with twelve or more people and meeting VP and the registration tent in the dawn hours.
I left the Rock of Ages determined to be more involved in this group.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 03, 2003 at 1:36.]
After I returned to New York I was determined to do something for God. I was excited to be part of a group that put God first, and wanted to do my part.
In New York in the late 70's there were a large number of twigs operating. In August 1979 Long Island, including Brooklyn and Queens, comprised "Area One" which was led by a Corps grad. Within the Area were eight or nine full branches as well as a WOW branch. None of the Branch Leaders were Way Corps grads, and many of the Twig Leaders were not Advanced Class grads. Due to this lack of Way Corps, things were somewhat relaxed. There were a variety of age groups among the active people, but the majority were high school and college aged.
I got through 1978-79 with most of the stars in my eyes intact, and talked a few of my friends into taking PFAL. I decided to move into a Way Home in August 1979.
The Way Home was where I started seeing the seamier side of things. All of us in the Way Home were relatively new to The Way. Bxxxxx B, the Way Home Coordinator had taken the class with me in 1978, and the other two people were even newer than us. Up until this point I lived with my parents.
Several months after we all moved in, one my Way Home room-mates tried to call home from work and found out that our phone had been disconnected. After digging a little, we found that all of our utilities were on the verge of being cut off from non-payment. Bxxxxx, who handled finances for the Way Home had been collecting money from us, and NOT paying the bills. Bxxxxx had a drinking problem and had been supporting the local bars with our hard-earned money. We also thought he had a job, but he had none.
Although several people later told me that they knew about Bxxxxx's drinking problem, and had gone to "leadership" about it. Nothing was done about it AND he was put in a position of responsibility.
Our branch leader decided to give him a second chance. He continued to live with us, but I took over as a coordinator of the Way Home and Twig leader. I was 20 years old and knew very little about leading anything.
A month or so later, checks Bxxxxxx had used to pay past due amounts for utilities bounced. Our phone heat and electricity was cut off. The three of us voted Bxxxxx out of the Way Home.
Bxxxxx was transferred to another Way Home, and we were "reproved" for kicking him out without checking with leadership first.
This was my first inkling that "leaders" were not all-knowing. Even back then we were expected to obey without question, to expect that they were right. Yet in this situation everybody but leadership seemed to see the problem with this guy. Leadership took no responsibility for their bad choices.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 15:52.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:18.]
Shortly after Bxxxxx was kicked out of our Way Home (we gave hime a week to get out btw) things started to fall apart. The three of us were very disillusioned. At one point none of us wanted to live a Way Home again. One left the Way completely.
Foolishly I gave it another shot, the first of many second chances I gave twi.
Keep in mind that at this time I was not questioning doctrine. I hadn't really developed enough research skills to challenge anything that I heard, and was still dazzled by PFAL and VP.
I moved into another Way Home, while the other two did not.
Things were pretty weird at the new place.
Our new Way Home Coordinator was also a heavy drinker, although he didn't handle the money. He verbally abused anyone who didn't agree with him, and had coercive sexual relationships with several women in the fellowship. Although leadership was made aware of it, nothing was done.
Even though all of these bad things were happening, the fellowship I coordinated was growing (The Way Home coordinator oversaw the home as well as a Spanish-language Twig Area, while I led the English-language twig). We went from eight people to almost thirty in a few months, and ran several classes. There were numerous examples of miracles and healings.
As the year drew to a close I tallied up the positive and the negative. I chalked up the negative to "people" - personality, etc., and the positive to the power of God operating (I thought) in twi. After all, when we got rid of the problem people, didn't things start to improve?
I decided that to really see God work, I needed to get out of New York and go WOW. I took the Advanced Class first, July 1980 in Rome City, and then signed the WOW sign up form. I reasoned that getting away from my "old man" friends and influences, would free me up to really move with the things of God.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 15:53.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:19.]
For me, the Advanced Class affected me a lot like the Foundational class did.
I was so bedazzled by VP's presentation that I let a lot of the inconsistancies go right by me, figuring that I'd "get it" as I got more mature.
Like the PFAL class, it is difficult in hindsight for me to separate what was actually taught from the application "on the field".
The Advanced Class was also touted as the thing to do if you wanted to be a leader. By this time my ego had been stroked by the brief fling as a Twig Leader and wanted more!
So now I was a big shot Advanced Class grad.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 18:37.]
Many, many people from New York Area One signed up as WOWs that year. I was dating a girl from my pre-twi days who went to Chicago that year. Several people from my twig went out as well. There were over 3000 people nationwide who went out as WOW's that year.
WOW training took place over three days at the ROA. We finished up on Friday afternoon, were to be "commissioned" on Friday night, and then have all day Saturday to meet with our WOW families, Limb Coordinators, etc, and make travel arrangements.
On Friday night when we opened our envelopes, most of my friends were going to the so-called Outreach Cities, where hundreds of WOWs would be in one metro area. I was going to Sidney, Nebraska, a town that a friend of mine referred to as "One-Horse".
I met my WOW family on Saturday morning. We were all young: I was the "old man" at 22. Our coordinator was an 20 year old interim Corps guy who had been out WOW before, one WOW sister had been out WOW a few times, and the other was a first-timer like myself.
Here's where lack of planning on the part of the geniuses who did WOW placement came in: There were six WOW families going to five cities in Nebraska that year. Two families, eight people, were going out to the far western part of the state, about six-eight hours from the more populated eastern part where most of the twigs were. Among those eight people, there were only two cars, one a two passenger El Camino.
What, they couldn't require that you have transportation? Or put together people in families so that they had vehicles? Oh I forgot, God was working in the placements staff (hah!)
It was decided that six people and luggage would travel in those two vehicles, while two of us (my WOW siter and I) would travel with a group of wayfers from central Nebraska who had a big yellow bus.
About halfway through Iowa, the engine "threw a rod". We spent three days in Iowa waiting for the bus to be made roadworthy again. After we got going we spent another day in central Nebraska. It was Friday before we arrived in Sidney, our destination.
Quite an inauspicious start to what was supposed to be the greatest year of our lives, where we would learn as much in one year as most people learned in ten.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 15:54.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:19.]
Laleo, who was my WOW sister, once suggested to me that we were sent to this little burg on the @$$ end of the state to provide a bed and breakfast for travelling Way Corps royalty. Could have been, we certainly didn't "move the Word".
Here's couple of highlights:
My WOW sister (not Laleo - we'll call her WOW sister "B") showed up pregnant and was driven to Denver by our fearless leader to get an abortion. She was given and lent money by several of us to get it done.
Our fearless leader thought he was God's gift to women and hit on every woman he could, even the women in the WOW family. He spent a lot of time alone at the home of a woman whose husband was in the local jail. Somehow he never got beat up. I'm still amazed that he wasn't!
The townspeople HATED us. There was a radio station in town that ran a program by a local minister where we were regularly lambasted . Churches had meetings to decide what to do about us. I lost my first job because my boss's church told him to fire me. We had people throw rocks at us and verbally assault us in public places. We were banned from some local establishments.
Our leader could not keep a job. He was fired from his first job for taking too much time off to go to Way Corps meetings out of town. After that he always had jobs that had "flexible" hours, which usually meant he slept all day while the rest of us were at work.
We were evicted on New Year's Eve.
One of the local churches staged a "Jericho March", walking around our block every night for seven nights, etc, like in the Book of Joshua. I don't know if our house was supposed to fall down or what.
We hardly did anything together as a WOW family. Things fell apart fairly quickly, yet we all pretended we were "doing the WOW committment". We spent a lot of time in pool halls and bars, "witnessing".
We signed up two people for PFAL, one of whom was having regular sex with WOW sister "B", the other was a pathological liar.
Then our Limb Coordinator told us we were going to be moved.
In February 1981, we moved to the central part of the state, a larger town, where there was a small, established twig, run by two WOWvet women, who would be moving out of town as we came in.
The two people who we signed up for PFAL were going to move with us.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 18:41.]
We moved to our new WOW City, all pretty much already burnt out by pressure from the inbreds in One-Horse, and the lack of leadership by our so-called coordinator.
College Town was a much more pleasant place to live though. We weren't constantly persecuted for one thing, and being bigger, there were some more of the trappings of civilization! (indoor toilets and such!)
When we first got there, we were allowed to stay at the home of some wayfers until we could find our own place. The two WOWvet women were still there, but would be leaving in a few days. Mr. Would-Be-Romeo, our fearless leader thought the best way to celebrate our new assignment would be to have sex with one of the WOWvet women, engaging in foreplay in front of at least one twig member. Romeo at this time started a relationship with a Corps grad woman in another city, running up our phone bill among other things. He impregnated her and she had an abortion.
Once again work was a problem for Romeo. He contracted with our landlord to put in a lawn at our home. He deducted money from the rent as his pay. Well Romeo slept in, did virtually no work, and killed the lawn. naturally our landlord wanted the money back. We ended up borrowing money from Romeo's dad to make ends meet at one time.
The WOWvet women had gotten four or five people together for a class. we had two from One-Horse, but one dropped out (the one who was having sex with WOW sister "B") and ran back home. So we got to run a PFAL class, even though the four of us could only scape together one new person amongst us.
We basically floated by for the rest of the year, putting up a front when leadership was around, but not accomplishing much of anything, marking time until August.
The only thing of note that happened was that we went to the hometown of a Way Corps guy when he was kidnapped by deprogrammers and spent the day trying to intimidate his family and the townspeople. I had a shotgun pulled on me.
Once again I didn't see that the problem was systemic, and figured if I only pushed myself harder, was more committed, etc., I would see God work.
I decided to apply for the Way Corps. Following my WOW year, I would live in a Way Home in the Capitol City, where the Limb was located, and be apprentice 13th Way Corps.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 16, 2002 at 16:29.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 18:44.]
So here I am, living in Lincoln, Nebraska, the Capitol City, apprentice Corps, Assistant Twig Coordinator, and in a Way Home with four other folks.
Some of the year went well, our Twig split early in the year and I was made a Twig Coordinator. I got mad once and told everyone in my twig that I was sick of "playing church" and that we needed some new people. Within 24 hours we had half a dozen interested people, four who took the PFAL class. I was the Class Coordinator.
This was also the year that I met my future wife. We started dating in October or November. The Limb Coordinator did not approve of her since she was divorced, and did not bow down to him as he expected the lowly peons to do. She did not approve of him either!
I had a difficult time raising money for Corps tuition, so I dropped out of the apprentice program in the spring. Leadership blamed my future wife.
I really saw the fangs come out with leadership that year. Even after I was no longer headed for the Corps, the LC did everything he could do to discourage me from dating the future Mrs. Oakspear. The controlling mindset that became routine in the 90's was already in evidence then.
Just before the 4th of July we decided to get married. I had been slated to teach at a Limb meeting about American history, the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution. This was something I was well versed in and was looking forward to sharing my knowledge with the believers. Because I decided to get married against the wishes of leadership I was not allowed to teach at the July 4th meeting. This really hurt me. I felt that they were being spiteful because I was not doing what they wanted. Even though we were not marked & avoided, we were persona non grata in the Limb from that point on.
We got married a few days before the ROA by a judge; we decided to stay involved with twi, even going to the ROA that year.
After the ROA we had a new LC who was just as bad as the last one. They interfered with our lives constantly. When I was out of work briefly, the LC's wife told my wife that I was not taking care of my family. I blew up at Mrs. Way Corps, and later at her husband.
In early 1983 we stopped attending Way fellowships.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 16:03.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:20.]
We did not attend Way fellowship for 7 1/2 years, although we still believed most of what we were taught in PFAL, and stayed in contact with some "innies". Our opinion was that the local leadership was messed up, but that the organization was sound doctrinally. We tried to live by what we learned in PFAL and teach our children the same.
That being said, these 7 1/2 years were probably the best years we had. I wasn't making a lot of money, but we always had what we needed. My wife and I were happy together and our children were happy as well. We had friends in the neighborhood and at school. the kids were in sports, martial arts,and 4H. My wife had a home business doing sewing, and altering clothes for people. I earned a black belt, and worked as a deejay, which was a lot of fun. I coached soccer and track. We communicated, and if there was a problem, we discussed it and worked it out.
A few months ago, my sister wrote me a letter telling her how things looked from her perspective. One of the things she mentioned was that the negative changes that she saw in me seemed to lessen after I got married. A great part of that was our severing of ties with twi.
From the dates, it's obvious that we missed the so-called "Fog Years". We knew about VP's death from a phone call from an "innie", but didn't know anything about what was going on.
Our first inkling that there were problems was a cryptic letter from WOW sister "B", talking about competing groups of Way believers in Texas, and a local "innie" mentioning that her abundant sharing checks weren't getting cashed. But since we weren't involved, we just didn't care.
During 1990, we decided that we wanted our oldest son to take PFAL. We got together with the Limb Coordinators to see if we could sign him up. At this time, we really didn't want to be active, just to have our son in the class. they agreed to let him take PFAL, and I repeated it with him.
After the class, my two oldest sons asked if they could go to twig. The twig coordinators were putting pressure on them to attend. My wife and I decided that we didn't want them going by themselves, so we started attending as well. Little by little we started getting sucked back in. My wife started spending time with the twig Coordinator's wife.
We listened to the "Leadership/Galatians Tapes" and got indoctrinated into the company line.
The funny thing is, at this time, my wife was less than enthusiastic about getting involved again. She knew Geer from years before and didn't really see that Martindale was in the right. She referred to Martindale as an @$$ kisser from way back. Ironically, I convinced her that Martindale was the MOG and the legitimate sucessor to VP. She didn't think we should tithe: again, I convinced her that we needed to do that.
Within a year I was an assistant fellowship coordinator, deep into it again.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 03, 2003 at 1:46.]
Seeing how things turned out with my wife "in" and me "out", it's very ironic to look back at the early 90's.
My wife was constantly pointing out problems with local, and even state and region leadership. This was a habit of hers even back in the 80's.
We had a local guy (he grew up and took PFAL in our state, and was sent back as a Corps grad) as LC in 1990-91 and 1991-92. A newly graduated Corps grad came in for 1992-93. My wife was constantly criticizing them, as well as our twig coordinators. She saw very clearly that leadership at all levels were not "practicing what they preached". She never really saw that the problem was not localized, but ministry-wide. The pattern was often that she would point out a problem, where I didn't want to rock the boat. She was often criticized as being a backbiter, and disobedient to leadership, but looking back, she was usually right about the things she saw.
In 1993-94 we no longer had a Limb Coordinator that lived in our state. The WOW team leader for the state was considered the "state contact", while our region coordinator was considered our LC.
By Rock of Ages 1994, we were both very disillusioned with the behavior of our leaders. We just didn't know what to do about it.
By now, I had applied myself to learning biblical research skills. A former Limb Coordinator's wife had given me copies of many of her Corps notes relating to the study of Greek. I bought every research book available inside and outside the Way. I got good at checking the veracity of what was taught. I started seeing that there were definite problems with doctrine, but was willing to hold my doubts "in abeyance" until I better understood. However, I could never get any satisfactory answers from local leaders, because they usually lacked ANY biblical research skills, and higher ups always referred me back to local leadership *sigh*.
At the and of 1994 the WOW team leader graduated from the Corps and was made our Limb Coordinator.
Just before this, another man in the fellowship and I confronted our Twig coordinator about some of the things that we saw happening. Any time people spoke up before, the higher leadership always backed the local leadership, and rebuked anyone who spoke up. This time, the twig coordinator decided to resign his post, which they offered to me.
For our city, we received another new Corps grad, who I referred to as "The Highlander".
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 18:57.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on September 05, 2002 at 9:40.]
I started out the year as a twig coordinator, in one of four twigs in our branch.
At Rock of Ages 1994 we had the infamous "homo meetings", one with WOWvets, one with Advanced Class grads (I'm sure the Way Corps too). I was told later by a new Corps grad that the Corps had been specially trained to "smoke out homos", and to confront evil: destructive, harrassing, and unproductive.
I called our new leader "The Highlander", since he seemed intent on "beheading" people. We had more people Marked and Avoided in the first six months than I thought possible.
Every time I turned around, someone was being brought in for an inquisition at his house. You couldn't sneeze the wrong way without being accused of being "slothful", or being accused of having the devil spirit of the week.
Without belaboring my marital problems, my wife had always been pretty upfront about calling leadership on their errors and hypocrisy. This guy wouldn't put up with it, however. Subsequently, the effort she put into finding fault with leadership, she now put into finding fault with me. The leadership encouraged this.
As I said, there seemed to be an inquisition every week. I was often called to be a part of these. I had a pretty good ear for detail, and could take fast, accurate notes, so I was used to write everything down, and find contradictions in what people said. It was pretty sickening. (I've since apologized to a few people for my part in this humiliation) Sometimes these sessions went on until 2 or 3 in the morning. that's fine if you're a full time "minister", not so good if you have to get up in the morning for work.
Eventually they came for me.
Nothing really major. Highlander thought that my house wasn't decent and in order. But you would think that we were sacrificing babies the way he acted. We were THAT close to be M&A'd over a messy house (we had a lot of kids). After that we were subject to unannounced visits (inspections) and endless "counselling" sessions. My wife couldn't keep up with the housework because they kept showing up! I was called on my business cell phone and harangued when I was supposed to be working. I was supposed to call him daily and check in, subjecting myself to hours-long ramblings about whatever. My wife and I were given conflicting instructions in many areas. There were inumerable intrusians into our private life.
One incident that really galls me was when Highlander tried to determine what we should be doing with our kids at bedtime. We would always read to our younger kids at bedtime, and allow them to look at books until they fell asleep. They all loved reading, and enjoyed learning. Highlander was adamant that bedtime was for sleeping and they shouldn't be allowed to read. Like idiots we listened to him. It really discouraged our kids from reading.
I can't even remember how many things they did to run our lives for us. From arranging our furniture to submitting schedules to having my wife report when we had sex.
I snapped at Highlander once, but my wife didn't back me up. She had asked him a question and he responded in an extemely rude and disrespectful manner. I stood up for my wife and called him on it. He then started screaming at me and threw me out of his house.
In the weeks leading up to this my wife had complained to me about Highlander giving her a hard time...when was I going to speak up and do something about it? So when I defended her, I expected that she would be grateful. When we got home I told her and the older kids that I expected to be M&A'd for my actions, and that I would not apologize, since I was right. When faced with the possibility of not being in TWI, my wife got very nervous. One of my older children asked if he could go to Twig if I was kicked out. This response stunned me.
Later, when the LCs came to our home, my wife told them that she had no idea why I had acted as I did. Without her backing, my gesture became meaningless. I grovelled and apologized.
At some point in 1997 our Limb Coordinator was reassigned and Highlander replaced him. Highlander and his wife were later transferred to another state. After that we no longer had any Way Corps in the state.
What a relief
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 19:01.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on September 15, 2003 at 2:29.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on September 15, 2003 at 2:31.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:21.]
Not much to tell here. With no Way Corps around, things slacked off a little. There were no more M&A inquisitions. The non Way Corps Fellowship Coordinator (we had been reduced from seven fellowships in two cities to one anemic fellowship by this time.) did not have the stomach to conduct things the Martindale way.
Our fellowship became just another church. We showed up for meetings, listened to our tapes, but things were really dead.
The so-called "kinder and gentler" twi that many reported after Martindale left really arrived in our state in 1997. In our case it was because the local fellowship coordinator, who wasn't a Corps grad, did not have the stomach for the more obvious abuses of the Highlander. His influence was more subtle, but just as insidious.
In February 1999 we were put on Six Month Probation. I did some things that, although wrong, should have been handled between my wife and I, but leadership became involved. As had been my pattern, I didn't leave the Way, but submitted myself to another round of abuse.
The fact that my whole family was put on probation even though my wife and kids were not guilty of what I was being put on probation for, seriously hurt my marriage. Mrs. Oakspear was very resentful that she was on probation with me. Our marriage never really recovered.
We were allowed back in just before the Y2K garbage.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 19:06.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on September 05, 2002 at 9:48.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on September 15, 2003 at 2:34.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:21.]
Even though things had lightened up a bit since the Corps left, there was still a certain level of intrusiveness. There wasn't as much nastiness, but we WERE expected to obey unquestioningly.
Things were not growing at all in our fellowship. We were just playing church as I saw it. A big waste of time. We still hadn't forgotten the humiliations under The Highlander either.
Then the lawsuit hit.
Although I was willing to forgive Martindale (at least before I knew the facts) I still had a lot of questions and concerns. One guy left when they couldn't adequately explain why the Oakspears had been put on probation and publically reviled (the word "treachery" was used of me) when Martindale was being treated with kid gloves.
I also started visiting Waydale, and after a few months began posting there under the handles Taoiseach, Twyril, and John Oakspear.
Martindale's behavior certainly qualified as "out of fellowship". How could what he taught be trusted, and how could the so called revelation that he received be trusted? I got no answers, so I decided to start reworking the entire Way of Abundance and Power syllabus, one segment per week. I was astounded at the number of errors I found. Not just different interpretations of sections of scripture, but lies about what the texts said, misrepresentations of things like The Big Bang, etc.
I worked this material for over a year. Since they were teaching class segments on the Sunday seervices, I just kept pace with them. then re-reworked the material. For over a year I went over the material with a fine toothed comb. No one was able to give me ANY answer, let alone one that satisfied me. I finally wrote to John Reynolds of the Board of Trustees.
John called me at home one night. I found that very encouraging. He told me that the material in the Way of Abundance and Power class had been examined by several people, and that I should go to my Region Coordinator for specific questions.
John told me that this man, since he would be teaching the class live several times, including in my city, would be working the Word in detail before teaching it. I agreeed to talk to the region man.
Here I am, giving them ONE MORE SECOND CHANCE!!!!
When I talked to him he told me that he HADN'T worked the Word or studied the material since the Trustees approved it. If it was good enough for the Trustees, it was good enough for him.
I had enough.
In my heart I was "out" on that day, but did not officially leave until a month later when I was asked , over the phone, to not come to any more Way fellowships.
Three months later, my wife asked me to leave.
It's been a year since I've been out and not everything in life is how I want it, and I've still got issues to deal with, but I'm out, and I'm free.
I'm a regular here at Grease Spot Cafe. It's been a great place to come and share some of my Way experiences and try to heal from the long, painful experience. I've met some fine people here, and got to meet many of them in person this summer.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Peace
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 19:10.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on October 21, 2002 at 15:07.]
Oakspear, I have been following your story with great fascination.
Bravo for having the fortitude to post it. I am sure it brought back some painful memories...and perhaps even caused you to remember some things you had forgotten (or repressed).
It must have been quite cathartic.
I trust that your heart will be healed from all the hurt, and I hope you get back a relationship with your kids. Being divorced myself, I know that is a tought thing to do...but the rewards are enormous for you and them.
Thanks for taking the time for telling your story. It is heart wrenching, gut wrenching and reminds of the rage I keep under wraps for people who control and exploit others.
I sincerely hope that you are able to see your children. If it's not too late, I also hope you and your wife could work things out. It seems like you were a happy family at one time. Maybe it's too much for you to think about right now, and maybe I shouldn't even mention it. I don't even know either of you. It is just a strong feeling I get from reading your story.
With hope and prayers for you and Mrs. O.(or the former Mrs. O as the case may be)
I can't believe I just wrote that, but I am being honest.
MCR
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing...G.B. Shaw
We all have different stories. The reasons we got involved in The Way Corporation, and the reasons we got out vary greatly; yet there are some common threads.
A good friend of mine and I observed this summer that we have been living "parrallel lives", meaning that despite differences, there have been wierd similarities.
As I started putting this together, it was originally supposed to be just one or two posts for the whole story. After it started getting long, I saw that involvement, at least for me, in twi went through phases, much like the twi I, twi II, & twi III that is discussed in another thread.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
Looking back over the years, and breaking it up into "bite-sized" time periods, I am amazed at the number of times that I was on the verge of leaving, left and came back, or should have left if I had paid attention to the signs.
1977-78: I was so blinded by my desire to know God and the bible I ignored the illogic
1979-80: With the mess that they called a Way Home, and the abuse from Way Home leaders, I should have been smart enough to bolt then, but I thought it was "just people" and decided to commit more
1980-81: the nonsense that went on during our WOW year, the sexual predations of our family coordinator, etc should have sent me running, but no, I decided once again to commit more
1982-83: I DID leave, but came back 7 1/2 years later!
1990-95: there were so many issues of being told one thing and leadership doing the opposite that I must have missed dozens of opportunities to walk
1995-97: the verbal and mental abuse dealt out by the Way Corps should have been enough for me. I almost left once, but slunk back in.
The common thread over the years was that I always assumed that the problems were "just people". I didn't really see that there was a common thread to abuses across the Way Tree, in all areas of the country. I believed that the Word of God was at the foundation of twi, and that the crap was worth it, because the Word was at stake.
I also had a tendency to blame myself. If only I was more committed, this wouldn't happen. Related to that was a belief that somehow I could make changes, if only I was in a position of authority, it wouldn't be so bad. That was why I agreed to be a Twig Coordinator in 1995.
In the last few years, I saw that my wife was a lot more convinced that twi was the place to be than I was; so I buried my doubts in order to keep the peace at home. It didn't work.
It took the lawsuit to really set things in motion for me to finally leave. With Martindale leaving in disgrace, it became harder to maintain the illusion that leadership was never wrong and should be obeyed unquestioningly. It became natural for me to question doctrines in depth: first Martindale's, and later even Wierwille's.
Up to last July I was still prepared to give twi the benefit of the doubt and hold my doubts "in abeyance".
The lying and double shuffling I got from the trustees and regional leadership convinced me that twi was dead.
Oakspear, I really enjoyed reading your story here. You obviously wrote it to inspire others who may want to leave the confines of TWI religious dogma and sectarian fellowship. I am confident that your honest and bold heart can be an inspiration to others.
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Oakspear
It was Christmas 1977.
Upstairs from us in our two-family house, lived my mom's sister, her husband, and her six children, my cousins.
The oldest cousin and I had hung out together for awhile when in high school and college, and had some of the same friends. One of her co-workers happened to be the Twig Leader for our neighborhood. He had invited her to some Twigs at his house, they might have even been dating. I'm not sure.
He had given her a Holiday card which was signed "God loves you and I do too", which my aunt showed me. She was concerned that my cousin was getting involved in something strange. (Ah Aunt P****, you were wiser than I gave you credit for!) My aunt asked me to accompany my cousin to one of the meetings.
Shortly thereafter, in Jan. 1978, I attended my first Twig. The people seemed pretty cool, and I heard quite a few things right off the bat that were different than what I had been taught growing up (JC is not God, the dead not alive, holy spirit and God not the same, speaking in tongues, etc)
I took this as a great opportunity to get into an argument, or at least a debate. I LOVED to argue, discuss, and debate. I was intrigued by what they had to say, and was impressed by their confidence in what they were saying. I got into a few arguments, but left on good terms with the people there.
Over the next few months I began to attend twigs on a regular basis, although not every week. I still attended Catholic mass every Sunday, and still drank beer and smoked pot.
At this time, I still looked at the twig as just another Christian group that had some interesting ideas, but hardly life-changing, or even that unique. We knew people at our church who spoke in tongues, and a lot of the other stuff was not that extra-ordinary when compared to eastern religons.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 14:45.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:15.]
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Oakspear
I don't think that I clearly articulated it at the time, even to myself, but I was searching for something.
My grades were starting to slip in school, due to my bad study habits, as well as the drinking and smoking.
I was not getting an real satisfaction at church, nor through the studies of other religons. I was feeling somewhat empty.
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 14:46.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:16.]
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Oakspear
After awhile I started to hear about a class that you could take to learn more about the bible. They were pretty low-key about it, and no one really pushed me to take it. They were going to be running it in Flushing, Queens and the instructor would be some guy named "Jerry". I later heard that the teacher was some guy named Wierwille from Ohio.
So...
...I figured that Jerry Wierwille from Ohio would be teaching the class in Flushing. (how long did it take them to figure out that "teacher" and "instructor" are synonymous?)
The more twigs I attended, the more I saw that there were MANY, MANY, MANY differences between what they were teaching at XXX's house and what I learned in church. There weren't this many differences between the Catholics and the Protestants, I thought.
I made an appointment to meet with one of the parish priests. I asked him to help me understand the differences, since they were both using basically the same bible. I didn't get it.
His answer was:
"We have 2000 years of tradition behind us, they don't"
I was surprised and not a little shocked that he would take it so lightly. If he had put a little bit of effort into it, he probably could have convinced me to stay with the Catholic church, I've heard plenty of arguments against the Way's point of view over the years, even pre-internet.
It was that night that I decided to sign up for the class. I went to the home where twig was run, they weren't there, so I left a note. One of them stopped by my house later and I paid my $100.
During the first week of March, I started the Power for Abundant Living Class.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 18:00.]
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Oakspear
What was it about the class that made me believe it? Looking back across twenty-four years, it's really hard to tell. there were a lot of things that weren't actually in PFAL, but became part of the twi belief system, so it's sometimes hard to separate them.
Maybe it's because he documented enough things, chapter and verse, that I didn't notice when he pulled things out of his @$$. Despite that I now know he plagarized, and used shoddy research, he DID come up with verses to back up a lot of what he said.
He was able to set the stage by showing me that not everything I had been taught in church was right.
There was enough of a veneer of "research" that I hardly noticed the illogic at times. And when I did notice illogic, or errors, I figured they were minor, and could be overlooked, or that I was missing it somehow.
Vic was a master at slipping in concepts while you weren't looking. For example, he was supposedly teaching us about punctuation, but he was really teaching us about the difference between heaven and paradise. This took place all throughout PFAL.
Once I believed that churches were not interested in the truth, once I believed that he was legitimately researching the bible, he had me hooked.
VP may not have been a real researcher, he may have been a plagarist, he may have been many things, but he knew how to hook a sucker.
He had a line in the class where he claims to have proof of the resuurection, "beyond the writings of Josephus and others". That intrigued me, that hooked me. Turns out he was talking about speaking in tongues.
There were times during PFAL where I was bored, but I wanted to learn, so I hung in there.
There were times where I was electrified, like the part where he says "It's CHRIST in you, CHRIST in you, what power the church has, if we only KNEW IT!" (which interestingly enough, is not in the PFAL book)
There were things that I didn't understand. But the future promise of more classes hooked me.
Most nights after class, my cousin and I went home and "witnessed" to someone: friends, parents, anyone. My parents didn't want to hear it, nor did most of our friends. To me this stuff was so amazing, I was amazed that other people didn't want to know also. But in retrospect I was pretty obnoxious, saying, in effect: you don't know anything, I do, listen to me, you idiot!
But I think that if someone would have taken the time to show me, from the bible, how VP was wrong, I might have listened. Maybe the ones who could have done that figured that I wouldn't listen anyway. From twi's perspective, Catholics were prime targets because the details of the bible were not really taught, and we had no depth with which to resist the pressure put upon us.
At that time the Intermediate class was tacked on to the end of the foundational class, so by the end of March I was an intermediate class grad as well. Boy was I spiritual!
For the rest of the "ministry year" I semi-regularly attended twigs, and stopped going to church in late May of 1978. Already, people started to try to talk me into going WOW.
My cousin, who had started going to twigs before I did, dropped out before the Rock of Ages.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 15:50.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:16.]
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Oakspear
For most of the remainder of the 1977-78 "ministry year" I had only sporadic contact with Way people. It still hadn't sunken in that the Way was a huge organization, spanning the country and the globe. I didn't get much pressure to conform from other twig folks, and since I was only a semi-regular, I missed any bad stuff that was going on.
I wasn't what you would call committed..........yet
In July, a was asked if I wanted to drive with someone to "The Rock".
"The Rock"? What was that?
This person was going WOW. Her husband was at the Advanced Class at Rome City. He would be staying for Rock of Ages setup and she needed a driver.
I always loved road trips (still do) and some of my friends from twig were going, so I said "what the hell" and agreed to go.
I had so much fun.
The people, the teachings, the grounds, everything was great in my eyes. THIS was what I was looking for.
I couldn't believe how CLEAN it was, how so many people got along, I was REALLY hooked now.
I don't remember many details other than staying in a hotel room in Celina with twelve or more people and meeting VP and the registration tent in the dawn hours.
I left the Rock of Ages determined to be more involved in this group.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 03, 2003 at 1:36.]
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Oakspear
After I returned to New York I was determined to do something for God. I was excited to be part of a group that put God first, and wanted to do my part.
In New York in the late 70's there were a large number of twigs operating. In August 1979 Long Island, including Brooklyn and Queens, comprised "Area One" which was led by a Corps grad. Within the Area were eight or nine full branches as well as a WOW branch. None of the Branch Leaders were Way Corps grads, and many of the Twig Leaders were not Advanced Class grads. Due to this lack of Way Corps, things were somewhat relaxed. There were a variety of age groups among the active people, but the majority were high school and college aged.
I got through 1978-79 with most of the stars in my eyes intact, and talked a few of my friends into taking PFAL. I decided to move into a Way Home in August 1979.
The Way Home was where I started seeing the seamier side of things. All of us in the Way Home were relatively new to The Way. Bxxxxx B, the Way Home Coordinator had taken the class with me in 1978, and the other two people were even newer than us. Up until this point I lived with my parents.
Several months after we all moved in, one my Way Home room-mates tried to call home from work and found out that our phone had been disconnected. After digging a little, we found that all of our utilities were on the verge of being cut off from non-payment. Bxxxxx, who handled finances for the Way Home had been collecting money from us, and NOT paying the bills. Bxxxxx had a drinking problem and had been supporting the local bars with our hard-earned money. We also thought he had a job, but he had none.
Although several people later told me that they knew about Bxxxxx's drinking problem, and had gone to "leadership" about it. Nothing was done about it AND he was put in a position of responsibility.
Our branch leader decided to give him a second chance. He continued to live with us, but I took over as a coordinator of the Way Home and Twig leader. I was 20 years old and knew very little about leading anything.
A month or so later, checks Bxxxxxx had used to pay past due amounts for utilities bounced. Our phone heat and electricity was cut off. The three of us voted Bxxxxx out of the Way Home.
Bxxxxx was transferred to another Way Home, and we were "reproved" for kicking him out without checking with leadership first.
This was my first inkling that "leaders" were not all-knowing. Even back then we were expected to obey without question, to expect that they were right. Yet in this situation everybody but leadership seemed to see the problem with this guy. Leadership took no responsibility for their bad choices.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 15:52.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:18.]
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Oakspear
Shortly after Bxxxxx was kicked out of our Way Home (we gave hime a week to get out btw) things started to fall apart. The three of us were very disillusioned. At one point none of us wanted to live a Way Home again. One left the Way completely.
Foolishly I gave it another shot, the first of many second chances I gave twi.
Keep in mind that at this time I was not questioning doctrine. I hadn't really developed enough research skills to challenge anything that I heard, and was still dazzled by PFAL and VP.
I moved into another Way Home, while the other two did not.
Things were pretty weird at the new place.
Our new Way Home Coordinator was also a heavy drinker, although he didn't handle the money. He verbally abused anyone who didn't agree with him, and had coercive sexual relationships with several women in the fellowship. Although leadership was made aware of it, nothing was done.
Even though all of these bad things were happening, the fellowship I coordinated was growing (The Way Home coordinator oversaw the home as well as a Spanish-language Twig Area, while I led the English-language twig). We went from eight people to almost thirty in a few months, and ran several classes. There were numerous examples of miracles and healings.
As the year drew to a close I tallied up the positive and the negative. I chalked up the negative to "people" - personality, etc., and the positive to the power of God operating (I thought) in twi. After all, when we got rid of the problem people, didn't things start to improve?
I decided that to really see God work, I needed to get out of New York and go WOW. I took the Advanced Class first, July 1980 in Rome City, and then signed the WOW sign up form. I reasoned that getting away from my "old man" friends and influences, would free me up to really move with the things of God.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 15:53.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:19.]
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Oakspear
For me, the Advanced Class affected me a lot like the Foundational class did.
I was so bedazzled by VP's presentation that I let a lot of the inconsistancies go right by me, figuring that I'd "get it" as I got more mature.
Like the PFAL class, it is difficult in hindsight for me to separate what was actually taught from the application "on the field".
The Advanced Class was also touted as the thing to do if you wanted to be a leader. By this time my ego had been stroked by the brief fling as a Twig Leader and wanted more!
So now I was a big shot Advanced Class grad.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 18:37.]
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Oakspear
Many, many people from New York Area One signed up as WOWs that year. I was dating a girl from my pre-twi days who went to Chicago that year. Several people from my twig went out as well. There were over 3000 people nationwide who went out as WOW's that year.
WOW training took place over three days at the ROA. We finished up on Friday afternoon, were to be "commissioned" on Friday night, and then have all day Saturday to meet with our WOW families, Limb Coordinators, etc, and make travel arrangements.
On Friday night when we opened our envelopes, most of my friends were going to the so-called Outreach Cities, where hundreds of WOWs would be in one metro area. I was going to Sidney, Nebraska, a town that a friend of mine referred to as "One-Horse".
I met my WOW family on Saturday morning. We were all young: I was the "old man" at 22. Our coordinator was an 20 year old interim Corps guy who had been out WOW before, one WOW sister had been out WOW a few times, and the other was a first-timer like myself.
Here's where lack of planning on the part of the geniuses who did WOW placement came in: There were six WOW families going to five cities in Nebraska that year. Two families, eight people, were going out to the far western part of the state, about six-eight hours from the more populated eastern part where most of the twigs were. Among those eight people, there were only two cars, one a two passenger El Camino.
What, they couldn't require that you have transportation? Or put together people in families so that they had vehicles? Oh I forgot, God was working in the placements staff (hah!)
It was decided that six people and luggage would travel in those two vehicles, while two of us (my WOW siter and I) would travel with a group of wayfers from central Nebraska who had a big yellow bus.
About halfway through Iowa, the engine "threw a rod". We spent three days in Iowa waiting for the bus to be made roadworthy again. After we got going we spent another day in central Nebraska. It was Friday before we arrived in Sidney, our destination.
Quite an inauspicious start to what was supposed to be the greatest year of our lives, where we would learn as much in one year as most people learned in ten.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 15:54.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:19.]
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Oakspear
Laleo, who was my WOW sister, once suggested to me that we were sent to this little burg on the @$$ end of the state to provide a bed and breakfast for travelling Way Corps royalty. Could have been, we certainly didn't "move the Word".
Here's couple of highlights:
My WOW sister (not Laleo - we'll call her WOW sister "B") showed up pregnant and was driven to Denver by our fearless leader to get an abortion. She was given and lent money by several of us to get it done.
Our fearless leader thought he was God's gift to women and hit on every woman he could, even the women in the WOW family. He spent a lot of time alone at the home of a woman whose husband was in the local jail. Somehow he never got beat up. I'm still amazed that he wasn't!
The townspeople HATED us. There was a radio station in town that ran a program by a local minister where we were regularly lambasted . Churches had meetings to decide what to do about us. I lost my first job because my boss's church told him to fire me. We had people throw rocks at us and verbally assault us in public places. We were banned from some local establishments.
Our leader could not keep a job. He was fired from his first job for taking too much time off to go to Way Corps meetings out of town. After that he always had jobs that had "flexible" hours, which usually meant he slept all day while the rest of us were at work.
We were evicted on New Year's Eve.
One of the local churches staged a "Jericho March", walking around our block every night for seven nights, etc, like in the Book of Joshua. I don't know if our house was supposed to fall down or what.
We hardly did anything together as a WOW family. Things fell apart fairly quickly, yet we all pretended we were "doing the WOW committment". We spent a lot of time in pool halls and bars, "witnessing".
We signed up two people for PFAL, one of whom was having regular sex with WOW sister "B", the other was a pathological liar.
Then our Limb Coordinator told us we were going to be moved.
In February 1981, we moved to the central part of the state, a larger town, where there was a small, established twig, run by two WOWvet women, who would be moving out of town as we came in.
The two people who we signed up for PFAL were going to move with us.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 18:41.]
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Oakspear
We moved to our new WOW City, all pretty much already burnt out by pressure from the inbreds in One-Horse, and the lack of leadership by our so-called coordinator.
College Town was a much more pleasant place to live though. We weren't constantly persecuted for one thing, and being bigger, there were some more of the trappings of civilization! (indoor toilets and such!)
When we first got there, we were allowed to stay at the home of some wayfers until we could find our own place. The two WOWvet women were still there, but would be leaving in a few days. Mr. Would-Be-Romeo, our fearless leader thought the best way to celebrate our new assignment would be to have sex with one of the WOWvet women, engaging in foreplay in front of at least one twig member. Romeo at this time started a relationship with a Corps grad woman in another city, running up our phone bill among other things. He impregnated her and she had an abortion.
Once again work was a problem for Romeo. He contracted with our landlord to put in a lawn at our home. He deducted money from the rent as his pay. Well Romeo slept in, did virtually no work, and killed the lawn. naturally our landlord wanted the money back. We ended up borrowing money from Romeo's dad to make ends meet at one time.
The WOWvet women had gotten four or five people together for a class. we had two from One-Horse, but one dropped out (the one who was having sex with WOW sister "B") and ran back home. So we got to run a PFAL class, even though the four of us could only scape together one new person amongst us.
We basically floated by for the rest of the year, putting up a front when leadership was around, but not accomplishing much of anything, marking time until August.
The only thing of note that happened was that we went to the hometown of a Way Corps guy when he was kidnapped by deprogrammers and spent the day trying to intimidate his family and the townspeople. I had a shotgun pulled on me.
Once again I didn't see that the problem was systemic, and figured if I only pushed myself harder, was more committed, etc., I would see God work.
I decided to apply for the Way Corps. Following my WOW year, I would live in a Way Home in the Capitol City, where the Limb was located, and be apprentice 13th Way Corps.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 16, 2002 at 16:29.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 18:44.]
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Oakspear
So here I am, living in Lincoln, Nebraska, the Capitol City, apprentice Corps, Assistant Twig Coordinator, and in a Way Home with four other folks.
Some of the year went well, our Twig split early in the year and I was made a Twig Coordinator. I got mad once and told everyone in my twig that I was sick of "playing church" and that we needed some new people. Within 24 hours we had half a dozen interested people, four who took the PFAL class. I was the Class Coordinator.
This was also the year that I met my future wife. We started dating in October or November. The Limb Coordinator did not approve of her since she was divorced, and did not bow down to him as he expected the lowly peons to do. She did not approve of him either!
I had a difficult time raising money for Corps tuition, so I dropped out of the apprentice program in the spring. Leadership blamed my future wife.
I really saw the fangs come out with leadership that year. Even after I was no longer headed for the Corps, the LC did everything he could do to discourage me from dating the future Mrs. Oakspear. The controlling mindset that became routine in the 90's was already in evidence then.
Just before the 4th of July we decided to get married. I had been slated to teach at a Limb meeting about American history, the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution. This was something I was well versed in and was looking forward to sharing my knowledge with the believers. Because I decided to get married against the wishes of leadership I was not allowed to teach at the July 4th meeting. This really hurt me. I felt that they were being spiteful because I was not doing what they wanted. Even though we were not marked & avoided, we were persona non grata in the Limb from that point on.
We got married a few days before the ROA by a judge; we decided to stay involved with twi, even going to the ROA that year.
After the ROA we had a new LC who was just as bad as the last one. They interfered with our lives constantly. When I was out of work briefly, the LC's wife told my wife that I was not taking care of my family. I blew up at Mrs. Way Corps, and later at her husband.
In early 1983 we stopped attending Way fellowships.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on February 16, 2003 at 16:03.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:20.]
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Oakspear
We did not attend Way fellowship for 7 1/2 years, although we still believed most of what we were taught in PFAL, and stayed in contact with some "innies". Our opinion was that the local leadership was messed up, but that the organization was sound doctrinally. We tried to live by what we learned in PFAL and teach our children the same.
That being said, these 7 1/2 years were probably the best years we had. I wasn't making a lot of money, but we always had what we needed. My wife and I were happy together and our children were happy as well. We had friends in the neighborhood and at school. the kids were in sports, martial arts,and 4H. My wife had a home business doing sewing, and altering clothes for people. I earned a black belt, and worked as a deejay, which was a lot of fun. I coached soccer and track. We communicated, and if there was a problem, we discussed it and worked it out.
A few months ago, my sister wrote me a letter telling her how things looked from her perspective. One of the things she mentioned was that the negative changes that she saw in me seemed to lessen after I got married. A great part of that was our severing of ties with twi.
From the dates, it's obvious that we missed the so-called "Fog Years". We knew about VP's death from a phone call from an "innie", but didn't know anything about what was going on.
Our first inkling that there were problems was a cryptic letter from WOW sister "B", talking about competing groups of Way believers in Texas, and a local "innie" mentioning that her abundant sharing checks weren't getting cashed. But since we weren't involved, we just didn't care.
During 1990, we decided that we wanted our oldest son to take PFAL. We got together with the Limb Coordinators to see if we could sign him up. At this time, we really didn't want to be active, just to have our son in the class. they agreed to let him take PFAL, and I repeated it with him.
After the class, my two oldest sons asked if they could go to twig. The twig coordinators were putting pressure on them to attend. My wife and I decided that we didn't want them going by themselves, so we started attending as well. Little by little we started getting sucked back in. My wife started spending time with the twig Coordinator's wife.
We listened to the "Leadership/Galatians Tapes" and got indoctrinated into the company line.
The funny thing is, at this time, my wife was less than enthusiastic about getting involved again. She knew Geer from years before and didn't really see that Martindale was in the right. She referred to Martindale as an @$$ kisser from way back. Ironically, I convinced her that Martindale was the MOG and the legitimate sucessor to VP. She didn't think we should tithe: again, I convinced her that we needed to do that.
Within a year I was an assistant fellowship coordinator, deep into it again.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 03, 2003 at 1:46.]
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Oakspear
Seeing how things turned out with my wife "in" and me "out", it's very ironic to look back at the early 90's.
My wife was constantly pointing out problems with local, and even state and region leadership. This was a habit of hers even back in the 80's.
We had a local guy (he grew up and took PFAL in our state, and was sent back as a Corps grad) as LC in 1990-91 and 1991-92. A newly graduated Corps grad came in for 1992-93. My wife was constantly criticizing them, as well as our twig coordinators. She saw very clearly that leadership at all levels were not "practicing what they preached". She never really saw that the problem was not localized, but ministry-wide. The pattern was often that she would point out a problem, where I didn't want to rock the boat. She was often criticized as being a backbiter, and disobedient to leadership, but looking back, she was usually right about the things she saw.
In 1993-94 we no longer had a Limb Coordinator that lived in our state. The WOW team leader for the state was considered the "state contact", while our region coordinator was considered our LC.
By Rock of Ages 1994, we were both very disillusioned with the behavior of our leaders. We just didn't know what to do about it.
By now, I had applied myself to learning biblical research skills. A former Limb Coordinator's wife had given me copies of many of her Corps notes relating to the study of Greek. I bought every research book available inside and outside the Way. I got good at checking the veracity of what was taught. I started seeing that there were definite problems with doctrine, but was willing to hold my doubts "in abeyance" until I better understood. However, I could never get any satisfactory answers from local leaders, because they usually lacked ANY biblical research skills, and higher ups always referred me back to local leadership *sigh*.
At the and of 1994 the WOW team leader graduated from the Corps and was made our Limb Coordinator.
Just before this, another man in the fellowship and I confronted our Twig coordinator about some of the things that we saw happening. Any time people spoke up before, the higher leadership always backed the local leadership, and rebuked anyone who spoke up. This time, the twig coordinator decided to resign his post, which they offered to me.
For our city, we received another new Corps grad, who I referred to as "The Highlander".
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 18:57.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on September 05, 2002 at 9:40.]
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alfakat
great stuff, man --finish the story, please!!
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Oakspear
I started out the year as a twig coordinator, in one of four twigs in our branch.
At Rock of Ages 1994 we had the infamous "homo meetings", one with WOWvets, one with Advanced Class grads (I'm sure the Way Corps too). I was told later by a new Corps grad that the Corps had been specially trained to "smoke out homos", and to confront evil: destructive, harrassing, and unproductive.
I called our new leader "The Highlander", since he seemed intent on "beheading" people. We had more people Marked and Avoided in the first six months than I thought possible.
Every time I turned around, someone was being brought in for an inquisition at his house. You couldn't sneeze the wrong way without being accused of being "slothful", or being accused of having the devil spirit of the week.
Without belaboring my marital problems, my wife had always been pretty upfront about calling leadership on their errors and hypocrisy. This guy wouldn't put up with it, however. Subsequently, the effort she put into finding fault with leadership, she now put into finding fault with me. The leadership encouraged this.
As I said, there seemed to be an inquisition every week. I was often called to be a part of these. I had a pretty good ear for detail, and could take fast, accurate notes, so I was used to write everything down, and find contradictions in what people said. It was pretty sickening. (I've since apologized to a few people for my part in this humiliation) Sometimes these sessions went on until 2 or 3 in the morning. that's fine if you're a full time "minister", not so good if you have to get up in the morning for work.
Eventually they came for me.
Nothing really major. Highlander thought that my house wasn't decent and in order. But you would think that we were sacrificing babies the way he acted. We were THAT close to be M&A'd over a messy house (we had a lot of kids). After that we were subject to unannounced visits (inspections) and endless "counselling" sessions. My wife couldn't keep up with the housework because they kept showing up! I was called on my business cell phone and harangued when I was supposed to be working. I was supposed to call him daily and check in, subjecting myself to hours-long ramblings about whatever. My wife and I were given conflicting instructions in many areas. There were inumerable intrusians into our private life.
One incident that really galls me was when Highlander tried to determine what we should be doing with our kids at bedtime. We would always read to our younger kids at bedtime, and allow them to look at books until they fell asleep. They all loved reading, and enjoyed learning. Highlander was adamant that bedtime was for sleeping and they shouldn't be allowed to read. Like idiots we listened to him. It really discouraged our kids from reading.
I can't even remember how many things they did to run our lives for us. From arranging our furniture to submitting schedules to having my wife report when we had sex.
I snapped at Highlander once, but my wife didn't back me up. She had asked him a question and he responded in an extemely rude and disrespectful manner. I stood up for my wife and called him on it. He then started screaming at me and threw me out of his house.
In the weeks leading up to this my wife had complained to me about Highlander giving her a hard time...when was I going to speak up and do something about it? So when I defended her, I expected that she would be grateful. When we got home I told her and the older kids that I expected to be M&A'd for my actions, and that I would not apologize, since I was right. When faced with the possibility of not being in TWI, my wife got very nervous. One of my older children asked if he could go to Twig if I was kicked out. This response stunned me.
Later, when the LCs came to our home, my wife told them that she had no idea why I had acted as I did. Without her backing, my gesture became meaningless. I grovelled and apologized.
At some point in 1997 our Limb Coordinator was reassigned and Highlander replaced him. Highlander and his wife were later transferred to another state. After that we no longer had any Way Corps in the state.
What a relief
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 19:01.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on September 15, 2003 at 2:29.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on September 15, 2003 at 2:31.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:21.]
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Oakspear
Not much to tell here. With no Way Corps around, things slacked off a little. There were no more M&A inquisitions. The non Way Corps Fellowship Coordinator (we had been reduced from seven fellowships in two cities to one anemic fellowship by this time.) did not have the stomach to conduct things the Martindale way.
Our fellowship became just another church. We showed up for meetings, listened to our tapes, but things were really dead.
The so-called "kinder and gentler" twi that many reported after Martindale left really arrived in our state in 1997. In our case it was because the local fellowship coordinator, who wasn't a Corps grad, did not have the stomach for the more obvious abuses of the Highlander. His influence was more subtle, but just as insidious.
In February 1999 we were put on Six Month Probation. I did some things that, although wrong, should have been handled between my wife and I, but leadership became involved. As had been my pattern, I didn't leave the Way, but submitted myself to another round of abuse.
The fact that my whole family was put on probation even though my wife and kids were not guilty of what I was being put on probation for, seriously hurt my marriage. Mrs. Oakspear was very resentful that she was on probation with me. Our marriage never really recovered.
We were allowed back in just before the Y2K garbage.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 19:06.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on September 05, 2002 at 9:48.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on September 15, 2003 at 2:34.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on November 02, 2003 at 14:21.]
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Oakspear
Even though things had lightened up a bit since the Corps left, there was still a certain level of intrusiveness. There wasn't as much nastiness, but we WERE expected to obey unquestioningly.
Things were not growing at all in our fellowship. We were just playing church as I saw it. A big waste of time. We still hadn't forgotten the humiliations under The Highlander either.
Then the lawsuit hit.
Although I was willing to forgive Martindale (at least before I knew the facts) I still had a lot of questions and concerns. One guy left when they couldn't adequately explain why the Oakspears had been put on probation and publically reviled (the word "treachery" was used of me) when Martindale was being treated with kid gloves.
I also started visiting Waydale, and after a few months began posting there under the handles Taoiseach, Twyril, and John Oakspear.
Martindale's behavior certainly qualified as "out of fellowship". How could what he taught be trusted, and how could the so called revelation that he received be trusted? I got no answers, so I decided to start reworking the entire Way of Abundance and Power syllabus, one segment per week. I was astounded at the number of errors I found. Not just different interpretations of sections of scripture, but lies about what the texts said, misrepresentations of things like The Big Bang, etc.
I worked this material for over a year. Since they were teaching class segments on the Sunday seervices, I just kept pace with them. then re-reworked the material. For over a year I went over the material with a fine toothed comb. No one was able to give me ANY answer, let alone one that satisfied me. I finally wrote to John Reynolds of the Board of Trustees.
John called me at home one night. I found that very encouraging. He told me that the material in the Way of Abundance and Power class had been examined by several people, and that I should go to my Region Coordinator for specific questions.
John told me that this man, since he would be teaching the class live several times, including in my city, would be working the Word in detail before teaching it. I agreeed to talk to the region man.
Here I am, giving them ONE MORE SECOND CHANCE!!!!
When I talked to him he told me that he HADN'T worked the Word or studied the material since the Trustees approved it. If it was good enough for the Trustees, it was good enough for him.
I had enough.
In my heart I was "out" on that day, but did not officially leave until a month later when I was asked , over the phone, to not come to any more Way fellowships.
Three months later, my wife asked me to leave.
It's been a year since I've been out and not everything in life is how I want it, and I've still got issues to deal with, but I'm out, and I'm free.
I'm a regular here at Grease Spot Cafe. It's been a great place to come and share some of my Way experiences and try to heal from the long, painful experience. I've met some fine people here, and got to meet many of them in person this summer.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Peace
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
[This message was edited by Oakspear on August 24, 2002 at 19:10.]
[This message was edited by Oakspear on October 21, 2002 at 15:07.]
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Doulosman
Oakspear, I have been following your story with great fascination.
Bravo for having the fortitude to post it. I am sure it brought back some painful memories...and perhaps even caused you to remember some things you had forgotten (or repressed).
It must have been quite cathartic.
I trust that your heart will be healed from all the hurt, and I hope you get back a relationship with your kids. Being divorced myself, I know that is a tought thing to do...but the rewards are enormous for you and them.
Be well my brother...We are here if you need us.
Doulosman
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Mary Cate
Thanks for taking the time for telling your story. It is heart wrenching, gut wrenching and reminds of the rage I keep under wraps for people who control and exploit others.
I sincerely hope that you are able to see your children. If it's not too late, I also hope you and your wife could work things out. It seems like you were a happy family at one time. Maybe it's too much for you to think about right now, and maybe I shouldn't even mention it. I don't even know either of you. It is just a strong feeling I get from reading your story.
With hope and prayers for you and Mrs. O.(or the former Mrs. O as the case may be)
I can't believe I just wrote that, but I am being honest.
MCR
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing...G.B. Shaw
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Oakspear
We all have different stories. The reasons we got involved in The Way Corporation, and the reasons we got out vary greatly; yet there are some common threads.
A good friend of mine and I observed this summer that we have been living "parrallel lives", meaning that despite differences, there have been wierd similarities.
As I started putting this together, it was originally supposed to be just one or two posts for the whole story. After it started getting long, I saw that involvement, at least for me, in twi went through phases, much like the twi I, twi II, & twi III that is discussed in another thread.
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
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nknative
Thanks for telling your story. Keep shouting from the rooftops. People need to hear the stories of those of you who are out.
It is just amazing what "screwed up" lives so many of you had to live.
By telling your story you are helping others. Thanks oakspear. nk
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Oakspear
Looking back over the years, and breaking it up into "bite-sized" time periods, I am amazed at the number of times that I was on the verge of leaving, left and came back, or should have left if I had paid attention to the signs.
1977-78: I was so blinded by my desire to know God and the bible I ignored the illogic
1979-80: With the mess that they called a Way Home, and the abuse from Way Home leaders, I should have been smart enough to bolt then, but I thought it was "just people" and decided to commit more
1980-81: the nonsense that went on during our WOW year, the sexual predations of our family coordinator, etc should have sent me running, but no, I decided once again to commit more
1982-83: I DID leave, but came back 7 1/2 years later!
1990-95: there were so many issues of being told one thing and leadership doing the opposite that I must have missed dozens of opportunities to walk
1995-97: the verbal and mental abuse dealt out by the Way Corps should have been enough for me. I almost left once, but slunk back in.
The common thread over the years was that I always assumed that the problems were "just people". I didn't really see that there was a common thread to abuses across the Way Tree, in all areas of the country. I believed that the Word of God was at the foundation of twi, and that the crap was worth it, because the Word was at stake.
I also had a tendency to blame myself. If only I was more committed, this wouldn't happen. Related to that was a belief that somehow I could make changes, if only I was in a position of authority, it wouldn't be so bad. That was why I agreed to be a Twig Coordinator in 1995.
In the last few years, I saw that my wife was a lot more convinced that twi was the place to be than I was; so I buried my doubts in order to keep the peace at home. It didn't work.
It took the lawsuit to really set things in motion for me to finally leave. With Martindale leaving in disgrace, it became harder to maintain the illusion that leadership was never wrong and should be obeyed unquestioningly. It became natural for me to question doctrines in depth: first Martindale's, and later even Wierwille's.
Up to last July I was still prepared to give twi the benefit of the doubt and hold my doubts "in abeyance".
The lying and double shuffling I got from the trustees and regional leadership convinced me that twi was dead.
Oakspear
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Mark Sanguinetti
Oakspear, I really enjoyed reading your story here. You obviously wrote it to inspire others who may want to leave the confines of TWI religious dogma and sectarian fellowship. I am confident that your honest and bold heart can be an inspiration to others.
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