Do you remember the first time you decided to turn off your brain?

[Free Soul]

2 scenes come to mind - the first made me think, hmmmmm......, & the second is when I officially flipped the switch to the "off" position. Early on, in '82, a tc in our area loudly told someone in our twig to "renew your f***ing mind" - I was near enough to hear this & was startled that a Christian would talk to someone like that. Being a non-confrontational sort, though, I said nothing. Later, in '83 or '84, we had some WOW's in town staying at our Way home, and I walked in on one of my roomies (male) in bed w/one of the female WOW's. I must have looked shocked, although nothing heavy was happening at that moment; they made light of it & looked at me like I was the unenlightened one. I walked out, & from that point forward never questioned anything again.

In retrospect, I see that if a person already has self-worth issues, then it's easy for a corrupt group to elicit one's worst fears of feeling stupid.

Now I'm pondering the possibility that all those years of living in a state of cognitive dissonance can actually cause manic/depression, disassociative states, or other mental breakdowns. At the very least, not being able to trust anyone, even yourself. D*mn TWI for screwing with our minds.