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chockfull

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About chockfull

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    Do I have kids or did I read it in a thread?

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  1. "The Rev" #1 will serve with "the Rev" #2 and "the Rev" #3. paper mache Olde English titles for modern day irrelevant moral midgets.
  2. TLC from my perception you spend a great deal more time defending your honor than you do on your original content posts. Like one paragraph sharing how you feel, and sometimes that can come off both vague and like you are judging others unlike you but I don't think that is your intent. Then someone feels criticized by what is at best a vague statement, and an argument ensues. Then you'll write 8 posts in defense of your vague honor. Can you spend a little more time developing your original concept, about how seeing the vastness of life helped you overcome the hurts of the past and made them seem small or something? I kind of thought that was where you were going prior to the dust-up. That path to recovery is fine as well, just don't be critical of those who feel telling their stories helps them recover and make sense of things. I feel that way. Actually I feel I need different things at different times to recover, and if someone wants to judge me that's their issue. I don't think you are a wierwille apologist and you've posted around here for longer than a drive-by.
  3. skyrider, thanks for the thread. it definitely is investigating into a whole lot of detail the duality we live with in life. I always enjoy your writing.
  4. Sorry you went through that penworks. I would venture to say your accuser probably has more issues with their own past than with you. I also feel that empathy for other humans is a moral trait we didn't exercise much in the Way. Its easier to be empathetic towards someone you perceive to be like you. It takes work to get to empathy towards those you perceive as different from you. Thankfully I married someone opposite to me in many ways. Therefore I get daily work at something I'm not good at naturally. I'm actually making some progress. Who knows where I might be in another 10 or 20 years. :)
  5. If there were no GS then there would be one less resource for people to recover from the negative impact of the Way International. One of my relatives has a rare disease, OT - tremors. There are only a handful of people diagnosed with this disease across the world. She had great deliverance over the course of the last couple years when these folks got together and shared their stories, they even had a retreat. Hearing similar stories helped her to adjust to her disease, feel not alone, and since the two meetings she talks about them a great deal. Just seeing another human adjust to the condition and live a 'normal' life helped her so much. Like her, we who have experienced TWI also have a rare disease. I will be the first to admit I am damaged from it. The experiences there have affected aspects of my entire life into today. There aren't many people in public that can relate to me regarding this experience. it affects a lot in my life. I could ignore, that, suppress that, or admit it and heal and adjust. But admit it or not, my 'normal' life is a lot like my relative trying to adjust. To me the real heroes of The Way International experience are not the ones in lofty places, with condescending attitudes, being installed with pomp and ceremony into the highest offices of the organization that is growing less relevant every year. Not those who bury their heads in the sand, "thinking no evil" like the 3 monkey statue shows. Not those who use others to advance themselves. Not the enablers. No, the real heroes of The Way International are found on these pages. Those who tell the truth. Those who expose the lies, the control, the manipulation. Those who share real life drama about escape and adjustment. Those who say what everyone is thinking in the audience but are afraid to express to anyone - yes the STS sucks. Like every Way production. Boring, read teachings, whitewashed messages, all lies. The truth is what happens behind closed doors, where they are meeting out of fear. If you want to see a real hero from the Way experience, go look in the mirror. It's you. You survived. You told the truth. You, my friends on Greasespot, are the true heroes, not the moral midget being installed as President or any of his Pharisee buddies. Or any of the various hucksters selling versions of lies for their own profit. You are the true heroes. Even if you're damaged like me.
  6. Thanks for an awesome online account skyrider. I've been on business travel just got to look at it. Best to your family and best wishes.
  7. Hey Twinky, What I think on this is that the fellowship in the home is a mixed bag. There is the intimacy side of it which is appealing. However, in general, it taught people to cross personal boundaries. People usually keep their lives and their families protected in their own home. But with fellowship in the home, and the love-bombing culture, I think what it accomplished is systematically breaking down personal boundaries. The fruit or result of this is you would see people very willing to comment on and control others in areas where they had no business - it crossed personal boundaries. Finances, child care, careers, sex, nothing was maintained as taboo for boundary crossing in discussing or controlling in another. I think the "touch" thing is kind of personal. Some people like to be touched, others less so. I'm more of the "don't touch me" makeup. I think though more importantly that the crossing of boundaries is what was set up there. And the mental conditioning to accept the crossing of boundaries passively without fighting. This produces an environment that is groomed for predators. And the Way had many predators. Many of them stayed hidden. Some of the worst were exposed, like Victor Barnard. People use and manipulate each other in the Way for more than just sex though. The caste hierarchy certainly shows a good element of the same type of behavior David Miscavage shows in Scientology with the propensity for abuse. And many other types of abuse. Boundaries. If you are or have been in the Way for a long time you might want to check yours. You may find they have been murdered by a hit and run. The murdered boundaries in the sexual category are especially egregious. They have caused documented suicides.
  8. I remember this period of time well. It sucked @$$. Sorry for the vulgarity folks, but that simply is the most distinct and easy way I could describe it. Working as 2 fulltime people, on 1 salary that didn't match current costs of living. With debt, firing, stigmatization, shunning teetering on one side of the scale, and a salary dreamed up by idiots living in the rural midwest where costs are a fraction of the coasts on the other side of the scale. And the only possible way to survive is accept food from kind-hearted souls against the bribery policy. Then on top of it Hefner there at the top implementing cost cutting measures. Why do the people always have to pay for the spiritual dumb@$$ mistakes of the elite? I mean it was his failed revelation getting everyone to quit their jobs in the first place. Why doesn't he pay for the mistake? Au contraire, Hef is smoking cigars, wearing velvet jackets, traveling to Bermuda on vacation sending all us peon Corps pictures to hang up on our refrigerator while we plan WTF we can do for free on staycation in the local area. S-u-c-k-e-d @-$-$
  9. I must say, skyrider, the story of human drama is compelling beyond words, and the truth in life's twists are not something anyone could invent. Your account of your deprogramming, the life's choice you faced, the difficulties of truth, family, marriage, and your future hanging in the balance, those speak so very loudly as to the impact that a cult has on one's life, and how life's path isn't always easy and follows twists and turns you never expect. A different choice in life's direction at a critical time, and all the lives of your children would not be there. I have so much of that tangled up in my life too. Family over the course of one's life is so much more important than we realize at 20 years old. I have wonderful, beautiful, smart, strong, and talented children, all of whom would not exist if I never joined this cult. Their grandparents, along with us, can certainly appreciate the duality of life and choices in our history.
  10. I think I found some news footage on that "road to Damascus" experience. http://www.jpost.com/Defense/Explosions-shake-Damascus-Syria-blames-Israel-312070
  11. A bunch of liars playing the long con because they themselves are trapped. I don't fear them any longer. The mental bonds of their false authority only has effect by acknowledging they have any spiritual authority whatsoever. My feelings are the God I know would laugh in their face at their condescending authoritative posturing and gets sick to His stomach at them biting and devouring one another to gain political power and them feeding themselves making themselves fat on the calamity of others.
  12. Welcome higherground30 - your story is awesome. It highlights so much of the human struggle all of us have gone through similarly getting out of the Way!!!! NZ and Mij@l - met the guy a few times, outside the context of his little fiefdom. Perfect epitome of The Way - whitewashed, normal looking on the outside, and sycophant Pharisee swinger on the inside. One interesting twist there - in NZ unlike the US Trunk, the money all stayed in country. Instead of a budget of 75% to HQ and 25% remain in area, 100% of all of those finances were controlled by the head sycophant Ad@ms. So getting rid of all the non-ABS'ing people - that's a little different twist, but totally self-serving. The "tithe purge". It's hard to be a poor pastor surviving off a small congregation - need to get more mileage and moolah out of these folks. So sorry for your fractured family ties at the moment, but am happy for your freedom. Freedom is one thing that's totally worth the purchase price.
  13. One more update on this - I watched episodes 5 and 6 last night of Leah Remini's expose on Scientology. They covered two interviews from former Sea Org members. One had set the standard in "Auditing" - in Scientology there are required ongoing interviews paid for by the attendee meant for people to advance to new levels of "enlightenment". The Way doesn't have "audit sessions" with a makeshift lie detector device like Scientology. What the Way has is called "grilling sessions". At least practically. They don't have any formal training for this, but it is something that all Corps are trained up in by example. You go through "grilling sessions", which are pretty similar to what I saw on the audit sessions with a leader trying to get you to confess to some imaginary crime, questioning commitment, etc.. If that's the standard of behavior that is normal you have to go through, then you unconsciously imitate it when handling life with those in the organization underneath your leadership influence. There is an account of a "grilling session" on this thread - outandabout on one of his New Year's Eve posts details a "grilling session" by Lally0. This type of thing is so very common in the Way.
  14. Wow - after listing out all those bullet points, I just had an epiphany - where the outreach of the Way is going / has gone / is becoming. I had always wondered why so few of what I would term "quality" people would become interested in the ministry and stick around. The "quality" people were those who would normally be considered by society as stalwarts in a community - stable, financially secure, good home and family life. We always seemed to be reaching those basically one step away from homelessness. I'm sure the BODummies have extended meeting discussions about this exact thing. And that they are still clueless on this. "Quality people" were driven away by common sense. Because they already had financial stability, good families, and support systems around them, this all-encompassing love-bombed cult experience didn't have the same appeal. No, that was left to those life's story had treated a bit more harshly. Those who needed daily attention. Those who needed assistance in making basic life decisions. Those who really wanted a leader to tell them specifically what to do every day. Most financially secure have a mortgage on a home/property to incur long-term advantage with equity. They aren't inclined to sell their houses and give $$$ away Many times running classes became an exercise in managing calamity in the lives of students with this type of background and mindset. "Is this all bad?" is the question that lingers. Of course genuine Christian service is to help the less fortunate. But if you look overall picture at the Way, or at an organization called "Narcanon" which is run by Scientology, there is an overall funnel they direct people into, with steps every way to lose more and more of your own identity. Take this class, censor reading, take the next 2 classes, serve on crew, go to HQ for Advanced Class, do the outreach program, go in leadership program, give away your life. The amount of micromanagement and control introduced will ensure that very few if any well-balanced, free-thinking individuals will stay in the organization for an extended period of time. People become a means to the end of power for these cults and leaders. The bond held by the controlled mind is a bond of fear. It must constantly be reinforced, checked, micromanaged. Bonds made by the uncontrolled mind are free to be bonds of love.