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I have been thinking a lot about how we learn how to show love to others. In TWI we learned a specific brand of love. First, through love-bombing (constant attention, super close friends, praise, etc.), and then through the withholding of that attention and praise to straight-up condemnation, ostracization, and public shaming. And all that negative side of this was also branded as "LOVE" ... They made God into VPW's own image - an abusive Father. And if God is Love... then in order to be godly, we must be the same way. I hurt a lot of people because I "loved" them. I cut my own family out of my life BECAUSE I LOVED THEM. I told LGBTQ friends that they were possessed by devil spirits BECAUSE I LOVED THEM. I helped tear good men and women down in confrontation sessions over a leader's "spiritual suspicion" BECAUSE I LOVED THEM. I saw children beaten with wooden spoons BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS LOVED THEM. I saw my brother thrown out on the street at 16 years old BECAUSE MY PARENTS LOVED HIM. So many abuses in the name of God and love. TWI's version of love is twisted to only serve them. It bears no resemblance to I Corinthians 13:1 (PATIENT, KIND, DOES NOT ENVY, DOES NOT BOAST, IS NOT PROUD, NOT RUDE, NOT SELF SEEKING, NOT EASILY ANGERED, KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. DOES NOT DELIGHT IT EVIL, BUT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH.) I think I could find an opposite of each of these characteristics of love within TWI's definition.

Thank you! It has been an adventure for sure. I wrote it with the idea of helping myself, and maybe in the process helping others. Helping people who were in groups like TWI, and also helping others outside to understand that the people who fall for cults are not stupid or ignorant. The rank and file of TWI were some of the best quality people I have ever known - but the belief system and top down control of the group ruined all of it. The world could have been enriched 1000xs over by those people's kind hearts and abilities. But we wasted them on a false cause. I am going to get those years back by living the rest of them to the fullest.

Java Jane, just bought your book. Looks good. You got some good reviews.