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Everything posted by JavaJane

  1. And then there was the idea that "any two believers" can make a marriage work... I HATED THAT. I saw so many badly mismatched couples because of this.
  2. I have been thinking a lot about how we learn how to show love to others. In TWI we learned a specific brand of love. First, through love-bombing (constant attention, super close friends, praise, etc.), and then through the withholding of that attention and praise to straight-up condemnation, ostracization, and public shaming. And all that negative side of this was also branded as "LOVE" ... They made God into VPW's own image - an abusive Father. And if God is Love... then in order to be godly, we must be the same way. I hurt a lot of people because I "loved" them. I cut my ow
  3. Thank you! It has been an adventure for sure. I wrote it with the idea of helping myself, and maybe in the process helping others. Helping people who were in groups like TWI, and also helping others outside to understand that the people who fall for cults are not stupid or ignorant. The rank and file of TWI were some of the best quality people I have ever known - but the belief system and top down control of the group ruined all of it. The world could have been enriched 1000xs over by those people's kind hearts and abilities. But we wasted them on a false cause. I am going to get those
  4. no problem. There was a lot of details between those steps - like when I was on "spiritual probation" for a month and wasn't allowed to hang out with other believers outside of fellowship, and the point where I was really seriously contemplating suicide. All in all, I survived and am living well. I worked through a lot of it while I was writing a novel called Blackbird Raven Crow, something I never would have allowed myself to do while in Way World. Considering how hard it was to write, it sure helped me get my head on straight so I could understand what I really thought and what was j
  5. THIS. THIS. This is why I could not leave the group for so long. 1. My family went into the FC when I was just over the age limit. So, my entire family left me behind. - RELATIONSHIP WEAKENED 2. Abandoned, I had nowhere else to go, so I obeyed my parents and went WOW so that I could have some kind of support around me. WOW became my family. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP REPLACED BY TWI 3. I stayed in Las Vegas with some of the WOWs on my team afterwards - where else would I go? My family was still in FC for another 2 or 3 years. FAMILY EVEN MORE WEAKENED 4. Family was
  6. Ghosted - I would have been on staff from 2003-2005. WD on staff in 2003, married in 2005. I probably knew your folks. I was also raised in The Word (TM) and got out. It is PTSD. Don't downplay it, that place causes serious trauma, and when you are raised in it it makes it worse. Know that there are people who understand, and if you need anything feel free to reach out. I come and go as needed on this site to help manage my own PTSD, and to help others when I can. Sending love - it gets better the longer you are gone.
  7. Been there and done that. It took me working at HQ and seeing the hypocrisy and everyday meanness for me to even consider looking online. And then a couple years after that before I realized God wasn't going to "life his protection" from my life if I did. The first time I read a thread from Greasespot was when I saw a print out of it on Rosalie's desk while I was cleaning. I wasn't prying, just dusting around things. But I do remember that moment very well. At that point I was already questioning the things I saw at HQ, and it struck me as odd that the woman in charge of the ministry
  8. I worked at HQ during the same time as @OldSkool, and I can verify that the picture here looks like an older version of the man I knew.
  9. You are a strong person, @Beguiled . That weird year they cancelled WOW was a mess. I guess all of those years were messes, truth be told. Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away, even when it is family. Too much damage and hurt to try and fix - and you and your child come first. You made a new family, and that has to be the priority. I hope for the best for you. There are a few of us who were "raised in the Word" on here - @Bolshevik and I are just two of them. Any time you need to commiserate or blow off steam, know that we get it. This is a good place to come, beca
  10. Beguiled, my family was also part of the FC, but I cannot remember the number. I was too old to join them , so I was sent out WOW Ambassador in the last wave. You might remember my brothers - they were probably there around the same time as you. My family was made mark and avoid TWICE while they were in residence. When they finally decided to stop trying to come back, I was left in a hard place. I was 20-something and living by myself with other believers on the other side of the country. I was told that if I wanted to "stand in the gap" and protect my family from being completely destro
  11. Sometimes I just go on the old twi website to remind myself of how thankful I am to be out. Took a little look see today and saw they now have an app. Judging from the dates on the 83 100% 5 star reviews on the Google Play store, it hasn't been out for more than a month. Lordy, lordy - can you imagine the notifications? Sorta feeling a little gaggy now. Feel free to go check out the app on the apple store or google play and leave a review.
  12. Ha! I wondered if that could have been THAT tape. It is amazing how much of the weird details of TWI are falling out of my memories. Things that used to be so INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT. Guess I am spiritually blinded. Yep. Pozzezzed by dem der debbil spirits. I came into twi right after VPW died, in the middle of the fog. My mom got involved in 1985-1986. I will have to go through that box and see if there are any more "gems" in there. I will let you all know what I find.
  13. We bought our first house a couple months ago. In debt for $185,000 plus interest. Happier than happy to be in our own home finally. It only took me until the age of 46. But... we were going through boxes and came across one marked "wedding" and unexpectedly found a bunch of Sunday Night Service and Sunday Teaching Sevice audio tapes and VHS. Most are from the early 2000s before we left, but there is one from 1985 called The Hope. How we got that one is a funny story. Before my husband and I left HQ from being on staff (2005), a bunch of younger gentlemen (twenty somethings) on
  14. According to TWI's definition of unbeliver, I am one. A rank one. Currently practicing a combination of Catholicism, Buddhism, and Paganism. I can't say I have held on to any of the core beliefs of TWI. They all dropped off as I picked them up and examined them once I was outside of the group. I do still hold on to the memories of the beliefs, and I have found it has given me a lot of empathy for others who follow belief systems (religious and political) that I do not subscribe to. I feel that I have become more of who I really am in the process - not someone who is watching myself do t
  15. I forgot... Bless and Treat How about the "correct" version of create? Or how we never used the word "Jew" and substituted it with Judean? Hope was only for the resurrection. You never "hoped" for anything. You had to "believe." Lockbox. Who could forget that one?
  16. Holidays- Christmas became Household Holiday (HoHo) Valentines became Happy Hearts Day Easter became Resurrection Sunday
  17. Considering one of my first posts on GSC was asking how to recover creativity and imagination after involvement with TWI, I have come a long way. The Way taught us that there was a devil spirit around every corner and all things bad were caused by them. I took this concept and made it part of the world my book is set in. And the way possession works in this book is very similar to the way it is explained in the Advanced Class. Treating their fictions and fiction felt really good.
  18. Accidentally... it started out when I first allowed myself to daydream again. And then there was the thinking and questioning. I learn best through stories, so this is the one I told myself. It helped a lot. Stepping back from it being about ME and giving it some distance helped to see it all a lot clearer. More to say, but my battery is fast dying. Post more tomorrow.
  19. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MHB47Z3/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_5N-lCb644WFSC hey, fellow GreaseSpots. I wrote this novel as a way to help myself work through all the past s*** in my head from being involved in TWI. (Still haven't worked through ALL of it - that may take the rest of my life.) I started thinking about this main character in 2007 shortly before I left - mainly when I started really considering what free will actually is. The story morphed from there into what it is now. Some of it is based on my experiences in TWI, and some is based on others experiences. And some of
  20. Just walked through Complex 3. I can tell you that I am proud of myself. Although I exclaimed "Jesus Christ!!" when I came around the corner and came face to face with a floating bubble of a huge Craig Martindale face, I was able to stand and watch and listen without any sense of fear or anxiety. I was able to face that. Now let's see if I get the old PTSD nightmares tonight.
  21. I'm not going to watch the video yet. I am going down in person in a few days to see it in person. I'll post my review here then.
  22. That God we got out before I had children. Thank God my brain is no longer so ridiculously numbed to the point I wouldn't believe this.
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