JavaJane

Sometimes I just go on the old twi website to remind myself of how thankful I am to be out. Took a little look see today and saw they now have an app. Judging from the dates on the 83 100% 5 star reviews on the Google Play store, it hasn't been out for more than a month. Lordy, lordy - can you imagine the notifications? Sorta feeling a little gaggy now. Feel free to go check out the app on the apple store or google play and leave a review.

Ha! I wondered if that could have been THAT tape. It is amazing how much of the weird details of TWI are falling out of my memories. Things that used to be so INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT. Guess I am spiritually blinded. Yep. Pozzezzed by dem der debbil spirits. I came into twi right after VPW died, in the middle of the fog. My mom got involved in 1985-1986. I will have to go through that box and see if there are any more "gems" in there. I will let you all know what I find.

We bought our first house a couple months ago. In debt for $185,000 plus interest. Happier than happy to be in our own home finally. It only took me until the age of 46. But... we were going through boxes and came across one marked "wedding" and unexpectedly found a bunch of Sunday Night Service and Sunday Teaching Sevice audio tapes and VHS. Most are from the early 2000s before we left, but there is one from 1985 called The Hope. How we got that one is a funny story. Before my husband and I left HQ from being on staff (2005), a bunch of younger gentlemen (twenty somethings) on the grounds crew got their hands on a bunch of old teaching tapes from VPW and LCM from the time before Rosalie came on. And the tapes were not bore you to tears teachings. (They were totally full of terrible doctrine and swearing, but heck if they were BORING!) Well... there was a culling of the teachings happening and teachings that were not Rosalie-approved (or were extra) were being thrown away from the archives. So these guys just loaded up on contraband teaching tapes from the days when TWI still had some spunk to it. ****so rebellious!**** I think that is where the 1985 The Hope tape came into our possession. I never listened to it. I hate listening to recorded teachings. Plus, I had a wedding to plan and was sleep deprived from working as a housekeeper. I will open that box again and see what else is inside later on. Thankfully I no longer feel like I have discovered a demon when I find stuff like that anymore. The husband said, "WHOa! We gotta keep that so we can prove we were in a cult later!" We did throw all the holiday pictures from the BOD in the garbage, though.

According to TWI's definition of unbeliver, I am one. A rank one. Currently practicing a combination of Catholicism, Buddhism, and Paganism. I can't say I have held on to any of the core beliefs of TWI. They all dropped off as I picked them up and examined them once I was outside of the group. I do still hold on to the memories of the beliefs, and I have found it has given me a lot of empathy for others who follow belief systems (religious and political) that I do not subscribe to. I feel that I have become more of who I really am in the process - not someone who is watching myself do things according to how someone else has told me it should be done, but instead living in the present moment, comfortable in my own being, knowing my decisions are my own to make. I base my belief now on the simple "Love God and love your neighbor as yourself" with the definition of neighbor being all humanity instead of the narrow view of "the Household of Zion."

I forgot... Bless and Treat How about the "correct" version of create? Or how we never used the word "Jew" and substituted it with Judean? Hope was only for the resurrection. You never "hoped" for anything. You had to "believe." Lockbox. Who could forget that one?

Holidays- Christmas became Household Holiday (HoHo) Valentines became Happy Hearts Day Easter became Resurrection Sunday

Considering one of my first posts on GSC was asking how to recover creativity and imagination after involvement with TWI, I have come a long way. The Way taught us that there was a devil spirit around every corner and all things bad were caused by them. I took this concept and made it part of the world my book is set in. And the way possession works in this book is very similar to the way it is explained in the Advanced Class. Treating their fictions and fiction felt really good.

Accidentally... it started out when I first allowed myself to daydream again. And then there was the thinking and questioning. I learn best through stories, so this is the one I told myself. It helped a lot. Stepping back from it being about ME and giving it some distance helped to see it all a lot clearer. More to say, but my battery is fast dying. Post more tomorrow.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MHB47Z3/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_5N-lCb644WFSC hey, fellow GreaseSpots. I wrote this novel as a way to help myself work through all the past s*** in my head from being involved in TWI. (Still haven't worked through ALL of it - that may take the rest of my life.) I started thinking about this main character in 2007 shortly before I left - mainly when I started really considering what free will actually is. The story morphed from there into what it is now. Some of it is based on my experiences in TWI, and some is based on others experiences. And some of it is from other churches I have attended. It is not a memoir by any means. It is fantasy. Urban fantasy to be precise. Full of angelic and demonic beings. The world is built using Christian writings as folklore, as well as drawing from worldwide myth and trying in local (to me) urban legends and magic traditions. Ray's voice is my current voice, post Way. Amanda's voice is my old self from the time I was in. You can read it for free on Kindle Unlimited, or download it for 2.99 in the Kindle Store. It is also available in paperback. If you decide to read it and you enjoy it, please leave a review on Amazon. I am writing under a pseudonym due to the subject matter. You Greasespotters really helped me a lot and I am grateful. I'm hoping this book can help some others gain some empathy for those of us who got trapped/are trapped by cults. Enjoy. I will post more later when I have time tonight. This feels like a big healing accomplishment for me, and without GSC I don't think I would have been able to do it.

Just walked through Complex 3. I can tell you that I am proud of myself. Although I exclaimed "Jesus Christ!!" when I came around the corner and came face to face with a floating bubble of a huge Craig Martindale face, I was able to stand and watch and listen without any sense of fear or anxiety. I was able to face that. Now let's see if I get the old PTSD nightmares tonight.

I'm not going to watch the video yet. I am going down in person in a few days to see it in person. I'll post my review here then.

That God we got out before I had children. Thank God my brain is no longer so ridiculously numbed to the point I wouldn't believe this.

And I have been informed that a Houston branch came by while the artist was not there. The poor intern that had to deal with that....

https://m.chron.com/entertainment/arts-theater/article/Art-Daybook-Inside-the-memory-of-a-cult-13066647.php