Dot Matrix

Thank you. He lived the love of God... I have been sad before; I do not recall ever being this sad about anything. Thanks

He is devastated... Well, he has you to love him. How did Dave die, if it is okay to ask?

After just having a physical, and only 32 years old and a health food nut ~ he died of a heart attack.

Anyway, it was just your birthday. And now, I cry over these songs. Tom and I looked forward to having you with us next Thanksgiving and Christmas. He has helped me as best he can with your loss. I was devastated. And I have to let go... It has been agonizing... Happy Birthday, my son. Tom really looked forward to being your "almost Dad." He is a good man.

I miss you~

Your almost mother...

Marcus fell in love with a single young lady and she did not choose him. He told her he loved her and she told him he was just a "friend." For 8 years he played "the best friend" as he watched her go in and out of 3 relationships/1 marriage, several crushes and dates and wind up with 5 kids. With each break-up, he hoped he'd have a chance THIS time... He babysat for the kids, helped her with money when they were broke, and kept his love hidden inside, hoping someday she'd notice he was a constant as all the others traveled in and out of her life. He shared this song regarding the whole lonely journey in unrequited love with this young lady. It is haunting...

Then, one day after asking God over and over and over if he should let go... playing this song (below) repeatedly.... A woman called, saying God would not let her sleep until she gave a message, she had no idea what the message pertained to, "Yes, it is time to let go..."

(His life was a front row seat in watching God work, answer prayer and function in his life.)

So, he did. And before he died he had closure over all of this. Apologized to the husband, as the marriage lasted, for being in love with his wife and told her, he had to walk away, as his feelings still "held him." So, he did. He knew when she was single it was okay to hope but when she married it was coveting. He repented. Healed. I watch him shed her and become free. It was difficult as his feelings ran deep...

I never had children, but I had a “son” for 9 years in, the way of, Marcus.

Marcus had an infectious smile, which could chase the clouds away. He was funny, intelligent, classy, sassy, humble and "real". We would have lunch and people could see "the love of God" in him. Strangers would stop and tell him that he glowed and they could SEE God's love in his face. And one COULD see it, as he visibly shined.

We would sing our favorite contemporary Christian songs, share insight on a particular Biblical account, talk about silly stuff, the different ways men and women perceive things and our super-groovy-cool "God in action" stories. We were not just friends we were "family."

He prayed anywhere, anytime and for anyone, who needed prayer. At a restaurant having appetizers, a guy shared some personal needs; Marcus bowed his head and prayed with him right on the spot.

To a group, not a Christian group, of kids about to go into a social gathering he said, “Before we go in lets pray to have a good wholesome time and that God watch over us.” Not only that example, additionally, he would start speaking of a “God who loved people” and before long and randomly, a group of people, whom religion had hurt, would gather around and listen to him speak of a loving God who was not religious or judgmental but who loved him.

Marcus lived "love" and there is no better way to teach people the Bible then to have them see; "love in action." To many, God had become a buzzword, i.e., the popular OMG! To Marcus, God was his all in all.

In Florida, he was buying groceries and he thought he had more money in his account than he did. He stepped out of line to call the bank and then return to let the cashier know he had to put the groceries back as he did not have what he thought he had in the account. With that the cashier said, “They have been paid for by the woman behind you!” He caught up with the woman and thanked her and asked how he may send her the money to cover her generous gift. She told him, “ You have the anointing of the Lord on you and it is so strong I nearly fell-out behind you in line. I can see the love of Jesus in your face and it was a blessing for me to be able to do this for you, God loves you!”

Another time, when we had lunch in “Sweet Tomatoes,” there was a heavy woman and her son in the booth next to us. When they finished, they left their trays, and got up and left the building. All of a sudden, and we confirmed this later with one another, there was a man sitting there. He stared at Marcus, without Marcus giving a word of information, the man said, “You are a Christian aren’t you? (Marcus nodded) I can see the glow of his love in your face. And you are into music? (Marcus nodded) God loves that you want to carry forth your music in positive messages to the youth. There is such an anointing on you, keep shining.” Marcus and I then caught each others eye as the man said, “I have got to get out to my family…” And when we again looked he was not there. We both believed it was an angel.

Then, there was the time in Florida he had some boys who were showing up where he was and hassling him. One day, in a restaurant, the boys showed up calling Marcus names across the floor. Then, one went to him and spit on him. Marcus called crying but he said, “I teared-up at the restaurant, not because I was frightened as I could have taken them both on. But I was so angry and wanted to do the “right” thing and all of the emotion came out in tears as I restrained myself and prayed through the anger. I saw it was a set up and if I jumped up and hit them, the story in the Newspaper would have read, “Man assaults two in restaurant for no good reason,” so, I prayed and I put on my Jesus brain.”

He then, filed a complaint against them at the police station. But he agonized over WHY people treated him so poorly. A day or so later, he went to pick up some take-out food and an old man and woman were leaving and Marcus smiled brightly and held the door for them and offered help, as Marcus was entering the facility. When he exited the old man was sitting on the bench. And asked to speak with Marcus as he had a message. Marcus knew many people “had messages” but he knew to use discernment. The old man spoke to him, “Son, God loves you. The reason people think you are weird, or call you a weirdo and such, is because they see the love of God manifested in you and they do not recognize what it is. So, they mock you. They insult you as they insulted Jesus. God loves you….” The old man continued with some supplementary words, then, picked up his cane and headed to the parking lot.

Once, I called him and he returned the call several hours later.

I asked, "What ya been doing?"

He said, "Well, Jesus is always giving out his "Jesus love" to everyone, I thought I'd give him a little Marcus love. So, I was praying and thanking him in personal prayer and worship! I did not realize 2 hours had gone by..."

Obviously, Marcus had a close personal relationship with God. He was very grateful for the foundation of faith his parents laid for him. He told me all the time, “People do not own churches; they own buildings.” The temple of the Lord is not a building made with hands but the Lord has made his temple in me and in you. I want people to know the love of God is not as restricted as mankind tries to convince them it is. God is Love. And God loves us as he finds us. He will work with us to get out of the muck and the mire but his love does not stop when we fall in once in a while either. After you get to know the Lord in a personal relationship, then one may want to find a place to worship corporately with like-minded believers. For instance, my parents have a loving community of believers in their church.” Marcus was wise beyond his years…

About 3 or 4 weeks before he died, we spoke of the CD he was putting together. He was calling it the name of a popular candy and we had called a lawyer to make sure there was no trademark infringement. He came to the house and I was the first one to hear it, then Tom. Music was always his passion.

One day, he shared he was swept up in prayer for about 7 hours. He said, I heard the kind of music I should and would be doing. It was an orchestra with violins, horns, and percussion instruments…. It was a full on orchestra and the music filled me! It was angelic and heavenly and was a glory to God. And in this opus there was healing, life and praise it was phenomenal and I heard it and a knowing knowingness filled me, as I knew I would be doing that kind of music.”

Well, I knew that pop artist Frank Zappa had also done some tremendous work in writing symphonies along with contemporary music. Thinking Marcus would be doing this here on earth, I thought Wow, he will have to take more classes or something so he can compose this and bring it all together.

There happens to be a wonderful Christian lady who runs Children’s fellowships in Atlanta. And I introduced her to Marcus as I was recommending him for a job, of house management, for one or two days for her properties in Florida where he was in college. He was late to attend college and was in the field of music. He was seeking a part-time position as he was completing his studies and needed some extra cash. Marcus is very organized and great with every detail of paperwork.

Marcus never got a chance to work for her as he left us.

But he made a favorable impression on Peggy and she cried at his passing. She was telling her friend Teresa, of Marcus, this wonderful Christian young man with a contagious smile and godly demeanor. And Teresa, whose son was a Christian musician, had died two years ago New Years day. Teresa had a hard time with the death of her son who was killed in a car accident. And one night, late 2011, in a dream, God allowed her son to tell her he was okay. As he was telling her how happy he was and how beautiful heaven was, Teresa heard this orchestra playing this gorgeous music which filled her, Heaven was a beautiful sight as well as an auditory delight. The music had violins, horns and percussion instruments and it filled her. And then she heard a voice say, “I have been and am calling some of my musicians home.” And Teresa was given Peace.

The music she heard was explained in the same manner that Marcus shared with me all that he heard.

Marcus had unshakable faith, and although he always prayed and worshiped, over the past 6 months or so, Marcus prayed and worshiped Jesus for longer and longer periods of time.

Marcus, my friend and my brother in Christ, I will miss you forever on earth and look forward to our reunion in heaven! I want front row seats at your concert for Christ.

I will never be the same for having known you and I will never be the same for having lost you.

I have asked "why" until I was parched from repeating the question... It was your mother, Marcus, who gave me this...

Isaiah 57:

1 The righteous perish, and no one understands (ponders) it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. 2 Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death

Beyond sad. I am so sorry for his loss, to your son and to his family.

Rottie: I just saw this. I feel as if I knew your Nico. My heart aches for you. I am so sorry. I am glad to hear of the new pup and I am sure Nico is happy that you have Rottie company again. I am sorry for your loss.

I agree with Rascal. I feel horribly sad and I feel the loss of someone I never met.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux2jJubwQew&feature=related

I am praying again, right now. Lord be his health, his healing, his future, his rescuer... his Savior. Be Ex's strength, peace and guidance...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vROU_N-FYdY&feature=related

Have you tried the holistic route? There are medical docs who have turned to food, vitamins and holistic thinking which has helped people I know who were on their last hope. I am continuing to pray for you and your family. I am picturing him healthy.

ohmygod you really started a thread? does groucho smoke? ugh

He smokes and we talked about these ads. Anyone who smokes concerns me. I do not want to see this happen to anyone and the answer is quit smoking. That has to be easier than dealing with these tragedies... IT is a super big UGH ! I agree with you!

Roy, I think Geshia spoke the truth and she did it in love.

Also, I tried to email you a nice farewell from Groucho and myself and your email said it doesn't exist. Please make sure you have it correct. I checked and I used the address you provided.

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KZYGZWNX

Thank you!

I love you!

I love this movie as Mandy portrays a strong young lady, when faced with reasons she could have allowed her "identity" to be altered by those around her, to fit in, she stayed true to self. She takes a stand and she is not vulgar or aggressive but gets her point across. She remains very lady like in her demeanor and although the "popular" sell-outs do not accept her, she feels no need to change to be accepted. To me, she is a strong woman; a tribute to femininity and virtue in this film.

Songs:

We all have to do what we have to do to move on. Sometimes that includes "good - bye" Sometimes it is just a break for a season. Whatever you need to do, for you; do it. Only people who do not really love you or respect boundaries would try to force you to stay in something you choose to leave... And then, it is about THEM and not about you. Be healthy and stay sweet. Remember you have the right to walk away when something makes you uncomfortable, we learned that when we walked away from The Way. They started with "no membership" and ended up with an allegiance paper to FORCE you to commitment. When people start forcing you to stay, mock you, or run a polar opposite to what you ethically believe ~ these are RED flags ~ and it might be/is time to leave... I hope you find healthy fellowship wherever you go~

http://l-pawlik-kienlen.suite101.com/losing-a-friend-on-purpose-a9299

PS Roy, admittedly I have not been here, nor have I kept up with what is going on. I am not saying I agree with you regarding T-shirts or anything. I just read you were leaving and digested that you feel you had been mocked and I am responding to that. I gathered you have been to several sites and felt mistreated. Wherever you go ~ you are free to leave. We will miss your heart and holy kisses. Love always.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VXJg-ldWSU

My dear friend from high school's brother Bill was just found with stage 4 anal cancer and needs prayer. He has a four year old daughter who needs a Dad.

For those of you who pray, I was in the corps with Frank in Emporia. He has broken his neck, C ~ 4,5,6 and 7. He is in extreme pain and has had two surgeries in two days. Please pray for him. Thank you.

I just saw this today and stopped everything and prayed for your son and you.