Steve!

Absolutely, 6R.

And thanks, Kit.

I'll second the motion.

Please, thank you.

Here's a link:

Yahoo! people search

THE is forever.

But if we bury it again, and forget about it, and not tell anyone about it, then it will be the HiddenLostSecretPoll^TM once again.

What they lose out on in the profit-per-machine, they are thinking that they will make up in volume.

And like I said, the surge won't spike as high, but it will last considerably longer.

Ummm, I was *apprentice* 16th corpse, does that count?

Oh, and Ig, a lot of corporate computers are beginning to be fully depreciated, and decrepit.

Remember 1999? Everyone was waiting for Y2K to pass before investing in new PC's, because of the investment in Y2K changes.

So the year 2000 saw a surge of PC purchases by corporations.

I expect a similar surge, although I expect it to start slower, not hit the same peak, but last longer than the one in 2000.

In other words, just about any decent computer company's stock should start picking up about Q2 or 3 of this year.

That being said -

I don't have complete faith in Dell, mostly because their boxes are filled with proprietary components - or at least they used to be. Which means that if a diskette drive or a hard drive fail and need to be replaced, the whole computer has to be packed up and shipped off to Dell Corporation.

That may no longer be true, but it WAS true a few years ago.

The faster the processor and the more the RAM (what you call memory), the better the computer. Storage is fairly standard, although you can get faster or slower storage devices. Some hard drives (storage) have a faster access/throughput speed than others, but even as fast as the fastest one is, this is currently considered the "bottleneck" as far as computer speed goes.

Processor speed is whatever it is - the latest model will have the fastest processor (generally speaking).

So what you max out, as much as feasible, is the RAM. And if you are doing lots of screen stuff, get more Video RAM too.

DR. PHLOX

Oh, great, so now you're quoting Clint Eastwood in Heartbreak Ridge! A war movie, wasn't it? Lots of body parts just lying around? Hmmmm, I'm out of here! I've got to get to that movie set!

INDY

Whatever. Karl, just follow my lead.

KARL FOLLOWS INDY TO A TABLE NEAR THE TWO C-I-WAY, WHO THINK THEY ARE CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS HOUSEPLANTS

INDY (seating himself at a table next to the two weg corpse) stage whisper:

Karl, when Kultwelle retires, that's when Clonendale's going to make his move. He's going to push Rozilla Barkingfox out completely. The only way to stop him is for Barkingfox to take control and work him behind the scenes, like a puppet.

KARL

But how can she do that?

INDY

I know he likes messing around with boys. If that got out it would ruin him. But Barkingfox doesn't have the charisma to take over - so they would put someone else in instead, and they'd both be out.

KARL

Clever! So she threatens to expose him, and he agrees to be a puppet. She gets what she wants, he gets to wear purple tights and prance around on stage and make crappy videos, and everyone's happy!

INDY

Exactly!

THE TWO VEG CORPSE LEAVE EXCITEDLY.

INDY

Think it worked?

KARL

I do. That one guy ....ed his pants! How did you know that they both work for Rozilla?

INDY

They smell like cat litter, and they had inkstains on their hands.

KARL

So what happens next?

INDY

We sit back and watch the fireworks, then we sneak in and steal our stuff back.

next?

You know you are living in 2003 when . . .

you hear the phone ringing but have no idea where it is. You USED to be able to follow the cord and find it. NOW you have to try to follow the ringing - but you only get 4 or 5 rings until voice mail picks up!

INT, Adolph's Coffee Shop in New Kultwelle, Ohio.

KARL

Do you really think it will work?

INDY

It's got to! It's the only way we'll get our families back.

KARL

But just where the heck are we going to find a live chinchilla, a blue trumpet, a left-handed fork, asparagus flavored edible panties, and an orangutan?

INDY

What? Where the hell did you get THAT list?

KARL

Ooops, hehehe. Nevermind. Pretend you didn't hear all of that. There's NOT going to be a party next Saturday night, and I'm NOT going to it, and there WON'T be all kinds of babes there. Really. So don't go looking for it. Cuz it won't be there.

INDY

I thought you learned your lesson last time. Remember how long it took for your eyebrows to grow back? And I really don't think the cat will ever be the same.

DR. PHLOX

Here are your orders, gentlemen. Huma- er, calve's liver for you, and butt steak for you.

INDY

Ummm, didn't you used to have a cute waitress here?

DR. PHLOX

Ahh, yes, she was rather tasty, wasn't she? er, I mean, attractive. A delicious personality. She's, er, away at a banquet.

INDY

Oh, I see. Thank you. So, Karl, how are we going to find someone that's even worse than Kultwelle?

KARL

I have just the person. Clonendale! His first name is Oy! but everyone calls him Rag. He's already one of Kultwelle's cronies - all we have to do is slip a few subliminal suggestions to Kultwelle, and Clonendale is in!

INDY

How are we going to manage that?

KARL

My ex-wife's third cousin, Rosary Barkingfox. She's in Kultwelle's inner circle, too. We just have to plant some ideas of grandeur in HER head, and the rest will take care of itself!

INDY

I think this could work!

next?

Hmmmm, the scariest movie I've ever seen would have to be . . .

"Power For Abundant Living"

Not one mention of Pink Floyd?

Almost every one of their songs has a distinctive opening.

And of course there's always the Moody Blues.

To a dog, you are family.

To a cat, you are staff.

KULTWELLE

And don't try going to the newspapers, or to any bleevers, or ANYBODY, because they JUST. . .WON'T . . . BELIEVE YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAAAAA! Chips Rear, here, is going to give you each $20 and a U-Haul. You've got 1 hour to get the hell out of Veg World.

INDY

You haven't seen the last of me, Kultwelle!

KULTWELLE

Haaaahahahaha! You think you matter? HA! My bank account matters! The notches on my headboard matter! Hey, where's PYT?

KULTWELLE wanders off

CHIPS REAR

I've got a gun and I know how to use it. Move it on out, now, you SOB's, before I pop you full of lead!

INDY

We'll just see about that.

Later, in Philadelphia . . .

INDY

Why do I feel so awake now? What happened? Where have I been?

KARL

It's the effects of VegWorld wearing off. You haven't had any VegWater or VegVOVBurgers in a while, so the chemicals flush out of your system. Do you know where you are?

INDY

Last thing I remember, I was in Jubbulpore, India, and some guy said "Pay-wer".

KARL

Well, Indy, that was 20 years ago.

INDY

My God! The University? My inheritance? My dog Toto?

KARL

History, my man.

INDY

We've got to come up with a plan. We've got to stop Kultwelle before he ruins more lives! Something's got to be done!

next?

Pay It Forward would be a pretty tragic movie if it was a better movie.

Bittersweet.

Speaking of bittersweet - "Life Is Beautiful" is amazingly sad and happy and tragic and triumphant.

Polyester.

It was SO bad. Bad plot, horrible acting, bad actors. Plus it was a "scratch 'n sniff" movie - they handed out scratch 'n sniff cards when you went in. The cards had numbers on them, and every so often a number would flash on the screen, you'd scratch that number, and smell the movie. They had onions, roses, and yes, farts.

It was so bad it brought tears to my eyes, and for the first time ever, I got up and left before it was over. Smatter of fact, I don't think I've done that since.

Have a Wacky birthday, happy! Er, umm, oh you know what I mean!

(plaintively)Zix . . .? Pirate . . .?

Our cat is a strange one.

I think she's part feral.

She does a lot of things I've never seen any cat do before, and I've had 20 cats before this one, at various times.

When she pees, she puts her butt right up against the litter, so it makes no noise.

Even when she was just 8 weeks old (she's about 8 months now), she could get up on the dining room table and run off with a chicken leg - not drag it, not eat it right there, she would run off with it and eat it under a bed. She picked up the feather duster in her mouth and ran off with it, too.

If you offer her a treat, she snatches it from your hand and runs off with it. I'm training her not to do that anymore, and she is learning, but she'll still do that sometimes.

She's very sneaky and very fast. But quite adorable.

continued . . .

HERR TOCKTOR KULTWELLE

Not so fast!

The music SWELLS DRAMATICALLY...

INDY/KARL

(in unison)

Consternation! Uproar!

INDY

What are you going to do to us? Kill us?

KULTWELLE

You wish! That would be far too easy!

KARL

Then what?

KULTWELLE

Oh, I'm going to do something much much worse! I'm going to have my way with your wives! And then I'm going to KICK YOUR SORRY @SSES OUT of my MIN-USS-TREE. I'm going to shame you, and degrade you, and drag your names through the mud, and accuse you of all sorts of horrible crimes against humanity and Der Veg.

INDY

You don't mean . . .!

KULTWELLE

Yes!!! Mark And Avoid^TM!!!

INDY (very pale and shaky now)

Not that! Anything but that! How could you be so inhuman?

KULTWELLE

Oh, ya know, it gets easier as time goes by. And as I get older, I get weepier and weepier - I'll cry a little tear for you after you are out in the streets. A tear from laughing so hard!! Now that you have been out of your field of work for so many years, and all of your wealth is in my pocket - well, in my ashtrays, anyway - and all of your best years are behind you and you can NEVER! hahaha NEVER catch up to where you should be financially - now that you're basically F****D, I've got NO MORE USE for you. That PYT wife of yours, on the other hand . . . SHE'LL make a nice notch on my headboard!

INDY

(retching!)

I've got dirt on others! I can tell you who's a homo! I know who has a pet!

KULTWELLE

You think I don't know all that already? Nothing you say can save your sorry behind now, Mister Indy Anna "I'm not such a bigshot anymore" Jones!

next!

Um, NotAWayferNoMore, one slight correction, please.

You said,

quote:

---

They allowed him to continue to be president for a whole year after knowing about it.

---

Actually, Rozilla Rivenfart has known about it since at least 1995 - there is a court document that says so. So I would imagine (and it has been attested to) that the other members of the BOT knew about it back then as well.