Psalm 71 one

Anyone heard from Psalmie? I miss her and hope she is doing ok.

Praying still,

Kit

Kit I sent you am email through this website--don't know if you got it or not.

Shellon, I sent you one too--I have questions maybe you'd have answers to.

Again, I thank you all for all your prayers!

Carol

Thank you all for the prayers--we can feel it!

I forgot to add one other thing with that last update. I had been to the Doctor and I had lost 30 lbs and my bp went down enough that she cut my medicine in half.

Here's the current update: Foreclosure proceedings have started. Evidently the paperwork is on it's way to us, but we have not received it. We learned we were in active foreclosure yesterday when we called in for the "weekly call". They supposedly haven't set a sale date. The lady on the phone says there is no way to stop forclosure now. We also spoke to the VA office-- to the lady "assigned" to us. She says we might as well ride it out now, that there is no way out of it now. We're a bit confused with this info, because we thought there were still ways to reverse it if circumstances change--more income, sale of house by homeowners, etc.

I had done a lot of searching for legit at-home type telephone work. I checked all the scam watch type sites and found several that are good--some where you work as a contractor and some where you are an employee. I'd put in applications to the latter, and was gonna have my hubby do the same--I figured if we both showed we had an additional job, that would also buy a bit more time. Time for what? I dunno--maybe ONE of the places my hubby has sent in a resume to would finally call. Maybe we'd land a consistent-paying part time job that at least covered the shortage, or maybe we'd have to admit defeat and list the home for sale--but we owe more than it is worth since tha last rewrite, so we didn't think that would be a "good" option, but it was still "an" option. NOw I don't know if we have options.

We're still fine--having a peace that God is piloting this ride. Neither of us has had our BP shoot up--we're not biting or sniping at each other. There is peace--but we really don't know what we are supposed to DO--do we passively ride this out, or actively chase something--anything--to make us think we're actually the ones in control? Passive doesn't seem right, but persuing stuff that turns out to be a waste of time makes no more sense--I spent a week reading all these sites this guy sent me to last week on the call from the mortgage company, but the lady we spoke to this week had no interest in any of that.

I don't know how long we have here-- should i be packing NOW, or do we have a few months--should i sell most of our furniture because we're gonna end up in a campground somewhere, or will we actually find a landlord who will take us after foreclosure-- then we would need furniture. (These are not questions directed at any of you, just the thoughts that run through our heads)

Funny thing--when we pray, we hear from God, "Sit tight, I've got you" HUH? Aren't we supposed to be DOING something? Again, the movie "Faith Like Potatoes comes to mind, I can't give away the movie if you haven't seen it, but we are at a place like the guy in this movie where everyhting is at stake. We are either about to look like losers or God has a miracle we don't know about just around the corner.

I'll keep ya posted!

Quick! Sit Down! Grab a cuppa coffee! It’s really me!!!

I have known I have needed to write an update here, but have had trouble getting to it. Sorry for the delay, and thanks to those of you who email to check up on me. The “trouble in getting to it” is two fold. One I am busy—really really busy, with part time work, volunteer work and everyday life. Second—it is hard to write—a lotta things happening—or not happening, and which do I tell? It takes me awhile to type stuff out, so I delay for that reason too. And I’m on the computer about 2-3 nights a week anymore—and not til after 8:00 most nights. But here I go!

My hubby has never found the “good” job. He’s still at the grocery store part time. The second part time job he has, hasn’t given him hours in a couple months—but they show up just often enough to tell him they’ll have hours soon. We don’t believe them anymore. We’re looking into one of those customer service/virtual office type at home jobs so he can work around the grocery store hours. I would be able to do that too, if need be.

My work, the vending business and the pet collar business brings in a little. It gets unexpected bills paid. I still work at the food pantry, and we get the food stamps—all food needs are always met. I have a second volunteer “job” I was doing, but I think I have to quit that—it’s starting to cost too much gas money to run their errands. It used to “pay” in a way, in that they’d fill up my gas tank, so while it cost me time, it took care of the gas I needed for my car for the week. But there’s been a shift in their focus and now they’re not only NOT doing the gas, but expect some sort of donation from us when we deliver their (free) bread. Long story, but they’re starting to show cult-like symptoms! So I’ve given them “notice”.

Because the income went down, we couldn’t pay the mortgage again, so we went into the moratorium period again. Where we didn’t have to pay the monthly payments and the amount accumulated til a later time in which we’d then owe them a large lump sum and the payments would resume. That date was Aug 7th. For now, foreclosure proceedings have not started, but we know it’s a possibility. The bank is trying to work with us for now. Re-writing of the loan is not possible—they told us back in May that they probably would rewrite and make it a 40 year mortgage so the payments would go down. Last week when we called at the end of the moratorium, they explained that because it’s a VA loan, it CAN’T be rewritten, since it had been rewritten last year—VA will only rewrite every three years.

So that’s all the nitty gritty facts. Our income does NOT match our outgo. But our bills still are paid, there’s still food in our pantry and freezer, our boys have new clothing and shoes, their curriculum for this coming year is almost fully paid for, and we still are able to tithe to help a widow friend of ours. And our credit cards are not jacked to their limits! We’d never be able to figure out how it’s happening. Yes, we’ve been eligible for help from agencies that help us with our utilities, we have a grandmother who’s helping with the school, we’ve gotten gift cards for the clothes, but still it wouldn’t add up. I feel like we’re the widow who had the tiny bit of flour and oil that never ran out til the famine was over. Or the children of Israel and the daily (only daily) manna. There’s no abundance, we get turn off notices for utilities, and by all the “facts” of the situation, it doesn’t look like we can save our house this time.

But we are at peace. It is totally unexplainable. God has given our home peace. God has met every need as it has come “just in time” . If you’ve never watched the movie, “Faith Like Potatoes”, watch it! It gives us a lot of comfort. We absolutely KNOW we are in the hollow of God’s hand. We don’t know if, within that hand, we will eventually be living someplace other than this house, but we know we are being held. Even my hubby is at peace—and that in itself is a miracle. He was pretty hard to live with earlier in this trial, but even he is now at peace. He has seen that God is the provider, not him.

It’s like Nebuchadnezzar, when at the end of his 7 years of crazy was able to say to God—YOU ARE GOD, I AM NOT!

It’s like Job when he, at the end of God speaking said,

2 “I know that you can do anything,

and no one can stop you.

3 You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’

It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about,

things far too wonderful for me.

4 You said, ‘Listen and I will speak!

I have some questions for you,

and you must answer them.’

5 I had only heard about you before,

but now I have seen you with my own eyes.

6 I take back everything I said,

and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.”

We don’t know where this road is going, but we are on it, and there are “hardships”, but we are all okay here!

God is Faithful!!

I love your post, Nottawayfer-- you expressed my thoughts. I was a bit fearful of "what if Obama gets elected", but after his acceptance speech, I too, feel much better about his election. He was gracious, and I loved the humility with which he walked out on that stage with his family. I'm sure in time I'm not going to like certain decisions he puts out-- but heck, I haven't always liked what the republicans have done either.

I do hope we don't have a government-run health care system-- I don't trust that--this coming from someone who has had no health coverage for years and haven't had a lot of necessary treatments done in too long.

I also loved the concession speech Mc Cain made. I really didn't like either candidate before the election, but figured I should at least vote for him because he seemed the "lesser of two evils" (That's too strong of a statement, but it's the only expression i can think of). But my respect for him went up a whole lot after his speech, too. I don't think we've seen such gracious acceptance speeches or consession speeches in a LOOOOONNNNGGGG time.

Mark, i also like what you have said. I will be praying for this new leader of our country, but ultimately, God is in control.

Shellon, I'm sorry I haven't been in to post my prayers, too. I'm glad your Uncle's surgery went so well, we will be praying here.

I'm sorry i didn't post yesterday, since i knew the answer then, but I was doing emails! And sorry i didn't post any update--I couldn't do it-- I had no update and was pretty stressed.

This is bazzarre--and God bailed us out just in time! Friday, a loan officer from our mortgage company called and did a phone application for a loan rewrite--we were barely eligible. Our mortgage payment will go up by $95 per month and the whole past amount will be added to our principle-- which means right now, we owe more than the home is worth. But we will get to keep the 5% loan rate. They want $1780 with our return of the application, which they are overnighting to us. $1780 might as well be $17 million-- we didn't have it, and didn't know where we could get it, but we accepted the offer, because it would at least take our pending sale off the courthouse steps at least until December.

Btw, we had called a HUD approved "stop foreclosure" agency. They had interviewed us and were going to bat for us to stop the foreclosure. These companies cannot work with you untill the actual foreclosure is started.

We were down to last week, and still had heard nothing more than, (the week before), "we've sent the information to the mortgage co. and we are waiting for the answer as to whether they will consider rewriting the loan" (Another btw, hubby DID get the second part-time job, which is why there was even any chance at all that we might be able to save the home-- i didn't realize i hadn't been here in so long. I apologize for not coming in, but I didn't want to be so whiney)

Anyway, the whole week of last week went by and we were hearing nothing from the agency working on our behalf, so we called Thursday. Our agent's sister had died suddenly. (The agent's name is Amber, so you all can pray for her while she's greiving. ) No one had picked up our case, so we would have fallen through the cracks. I don't mean to belittle Amber's grief--losing her sister HAS to be hard, but our house would have been sold today if we hadn't gotten on it ourselves.

Anyway, i know I'm hopping all over the place in telling this. When my hubby and I got off the phone from the loan officer, we were relieved, but still not out of the woods-- this $1780 was likely impossible. We had already sold anything that can sell quickly-- gold and such. I had been doing yard sales to make the possible move easier--and we'd paid bills. What we had left of any value, was my hubby's Loinel trains and his drum set--not something we can sell quickly, and definately not something we can get their worth in a quick sale.

Well, here's a surprise--one of the couples we're friends with--one of those couples who had kind of pulled away during this time, got ahold of us and asked what was going on--they pressed us to tell them everything--we hadn't been telling local people--too hard, and they had somewhat pulled back, so we just acted like everything was working out okay whenever we were around. But God musta told them to press the issue, so we told them everything-- including the sale date. (This was last week). They thanked us for telling them so they could pray with us.

Then they got back with us on Sunday to tell us they had some tithe from a sale of stocks--it was EXACTLY the amount we need! HOW WILD IS THAT???!!!!

The mortgage will be tight as it is right now--my hubby works 24-32 hours at the grocery store and 15-20 at the new job, we are working on that right now, as to what we will do, but we actually can swing it, barring anything weird happening.

In the past two weeks, hubby and I got a real inner peace that things were going to be okay. My hubby was pretty sure he had heard right about God telling him we were not going to lose the house, but we were still concerned that maybe we'd "heard" what we WANTED to hear. So outwardly, we were barely keeping it together (we hadn't told the boys about having an actual sale date-- we figured we'd have time enough to tell them if the house was sold, or we'd have a "victory story" to tell them). I couldn't get my BP lower than the 140's-150's over the 90's--even though the Dr had doubled my BP meds. And yet, depp down, both my hubby and I caould tell each other we had a peace that we were "going to be okay" (And it seemed it was that that "okay" state was going to be right here in this house, but we didn't dare really state that too much. )

We would talk about how we'd get the stuff accomplished that we'd need to do quickly if we were served the eviction papers, we talked about rentals, my sister's motor home, etc, and just knew we'd be "okay". We had to talk about, what if what we heard was just wishful thinking, how would our faith stand? We were able to conclude we could still love God and praise him and worship him even in a motor home, even while we sold favorite furniture, etc. I don't know how to explain that inner peace, while out on the surface, our emotions and thoughts were swirling like a hurricane.

But the "you will not lose your home" WAS from God! This time we heard right! I wish i knew how to bottle that up and know that we know it's His voice in every situation!

Thank you all for the prayers. We still would like for hubby to be able to get ONE FULL-TIME job, preferably on Mon-Fri. Prefearbly that pays quite a bit more than he's getting now.

I will tell ya this. Hubby says he has heard from God that He has lifted the "blockade" on his new job. (We had concluded that the doors had been shut to hubby's being able to get a "career" type job, because left and right, he was getting interviewed, told he was the desired candidate, then the job closed up. )

Me too. We're praying for you too, Ron. Praying for a great recovery!!!

Well, we called them today.

They used the "f" word.

Sale date is Nov 4th

We have been on the phone all day looking for answers. It feels like they sprung this on us-- i know we shouldn't feel that way-- we knew it COULD come to this-- but after the encouraging phone call in early Sept, i though we had more time.

The links Linda gave me at the beginning of the thread--now we are in a position they can help us. I had called them way back when, and they told me they couldn't help unless the foreclosure proceedings had started. I had chased down as many as I could of Shellon's suggestions, but again, some of them couldn't help unless we had been handed the paperwork. So we've been making all sorts of calls today.

We have an appointment Thursday morning with hud approved foreclosure counsellors-- they think they can help us because we have "plenty" of time. (Wish i felt so confident) We will ahve no real answers till then, but I sure can't shut my mind down--should i be selling furniture--should i be packing stuff up, should i list stuff on Craigs list, can i sell anyhting and everything--like the stove and fridge, too? How much SHOULD we keep, because how long are we gonna be homeless--yadayadayada

BTW, hubby still has the grocery store job-- and two places that say the WANT to hire him-- when the economic crunch is over. And now he may have a second part-time job that works out perfectly with the grocery store--we're waiting to hear whether or not he's hired.

My vending business is growing, and i have business coming in for my dog and cat collars, plus I have a friend who makes hand made natural soaps and skin care products and she wants me to sell them for her-- I may do craft booths or something. That's about all I can do while homeschooling.

Bad news. When we talked to the bank a couple weeks ago, it looked like an automatic renewal on the mortgage and that we'd have another 90 days or so. We got their letter today-- we've been turned down. I don't know what that means, fully yet-- I'm trying to not go into panic mode. They said in the letter to call them to "discuss options".

My heart is RACING! and i don't think I'll be sleeping much tonight.

RainbowsGirl--thanks again! I think the same can be said back of you! Thanks so much for the encouraging Word!

Shellon, you are so right!!

Well, here's a nice update--a whole lot nicer to post. My hubby was getting so worried about this that I couldn't get a whole lot of info out of him, and he really didn't want to talk about it too much-- this upcoming deadline with the mortgage.

So i went info a mortgage loan office--not ours, but a different one. I told them what was going on, told them what all we've been doing and asked for advice to see if there was anything else we should be doing to stay proactive. She told me call the mortgage company BEFOE they send their letter out--talk to them, ask if there is anything they needed from us. etc.

Long story short, they are extending the deadline. Yes, that will make for a higher "balloon payment" when the time is up, but they said they could rewrite that as a loan when the time comes. the regular morgage possibly WON't get rewritten--which is a real nice thing since it is at 5% fixed! We DO have to start paying the stuff the escrow would have done-- taxes, homeowner's insurance, but we'll figure it out. We may STILL have to sell this house and get a smaller one with smaller payments, but we at least have a bit of time now!

Wow, Shellon and Rascal. Thank you for such encouraging words!

I know ultimately, the best will happen-- even if it's not what I think I want, it always works out, because there's a lesson learned. Shellon, It's so true-- "for better or for worse" and i seriously thank you for the reminder! (weird as that may sound)

At least I'm not as resentful as I was a few days ago. Who knows, we may Still end up there in MI--if we lose the home--but far better-- and easier all around to keep our home, see my hubby land a good career job, and do a restart right here!

I do know God is always good and His ways are not our ways. My hubby has reheard from a company he interveiwed with, that they would hire him first if they COULD hire, but suddenly their market is dry. Only a couple weeks ago, this company advertised for a sales rep because there was a need and the sales were coming in to that comapny. Tell me that isn't God closing a door? He has a plan, we just don't see it yet!

thank you thank you thank you all for the prayers!

Rascal,

It wasn't you building it up--you were encouraging. It was me--and Ben-- the more we thought about it and talked about it, the more the floodgates opened in my imagination about it. I'll get over it, I did before, but I wish I just hadn't gone there!

My hubby so hates the snow that that is one VERY large deterrent to him. The other is just that he has never understood my family. They have their annoyances--and he has his limitations. I don't mean this as mean in any way, but my hubby is not nearly as flexible as i am, and I learned a long time ago that I could be really irritated with it and be in an unhappy marriage as a result, or learn to be the flexible one-- make lemonade outa lemons so to speak.

It still doesn't make it any easier at the moment though!

Boy I got myself excited for nothing! The more I'd thought about it, the more I was into it--I even looked up median income and home prices, ready to give that info to my hubby when he was ready. I figured I could buy a couple full-spectrum lights for the grey days--I was really getting into it. Cathy, when I read your post about "go home" I was saying "YEAH I'm gonna!" Shellon, when I read yours, I realized the rest of my family has matured through the years, also--we'd work things out just fine.

Then the other day, my hubby watched something on the TV that showed a Michigan winter, and he made some sort of negative comment-- the kind he used to make when he was defensive, thinking i was pushing to move to MI. (that was many years ago, before I resigned myself to knowing it would never happen) Ben and I both caught that, and looked at each other.

So I waited for the right time and outright asked if he'd meant it when he said he was also thinking about moving up there. He "didn't remember" that he'd said he'd thought about it even if we DIDN'T lose the home, and that he'd suggested we just sell this house and move up there. His ONLY reason for going there will be a temporary thing IF we lose the home. siiiiiigh

He instead offered that I could just go there for a couple months next summer and live in my sister's motorhome, so that I could have a "few months" near my family. (yeah, sure, THAT'S what I want!)

Obviously I don't want to pray FOR the home repo in order to get to Michigan. DANG! It'll take awhile to re- resign myself to the knowledge that I won't EVER live there. (not unless it's without him, and that isn't an option I want)

So right now, I'm dealing with resentment--I don't want to stay that way, but I'm pouting---I still need a lot of prayer! Thanks!

Oh, yeah, Tom. Yeah he has looked into car sales. Some of the jobs were straight commission-- no draw at the beginning. He hates straight commision jobs. So he decided against it. I have heard there ARE car sales jobs that really do pay a salary then smaller comission, so I kept suggesting he look for some of those (Maybe that was nagging?). He finally went out last Thursday, (He's off Tuesdays and Thursdays and Sundays).

He went to all the local car dealerships within a 15 mile radius of us. What he found at least in this vicinity, is that they are laying off their sales force--no new openings. I really don't know if he persued it as far as he could have, but there is a fine line between suggestions and nagging from a wife when it's something he doesn't want to do. That is where my own frustration comes in--I don't know if he is REALLY doing all that can be done.

I DO think he is doing all he is able within his ability--He's pretty depressed and down on himself. I know there is a differernce between working hard and working smart-- I KNOW he works hard at looking, but i don't think he really understands how the market has changed in job hunting. (EG, many ads say DO NOT CALL OR SHOW UP--he has called some anyway, because that was how he used to get jobs--get in there and meet them and talk to them)

Yeah, Shellon, if we DO move up there, I'm looking forward to finally meeting the Michigan Greasespotters! But Now my hubby isn't willing to talk about it anymore (for awhile?) I don't know If i typed this, but He was saying maybe we'd go even if we don't lose the house--sell it after the election and just move there.

I had resigned myself that it would NEVER happen, because of all the negatives my hubby has about moving up there. I knew if i ever lived there, it would be without my hubby--and the cost of breaking up our family is too high--I'm not married to my siblings or my mom. I love my hubby-- faults and all! LOL!

To think there is any possibility of it at all is both fun --and cruel--and terrifying!! My younger son, Ben is all over it, lets talk about it Mom, what kinds of holiday celebrations does the family do, etc, etc.

I think about how I could do some of the crafty party things they do and how i can enjoy doing those things. My 81 year old mom-- i can be with her for as many yeras as she has left--with no regrets then. I have a brother with prostate cancer-- it came back and he's not going to go through chemo again-- how long has HE got? maybe we can actually spend time with him before he dies. It's cruel to get all those hopes up again, after I had made my peace that I would never move there.

The terrifying part is that I am low on the totem pole within my family--I know they love me, but in may occasions-- say, family vacations, I always got what was left in accomodations. "Psalmie would understand". Basically I am a rug at times within the family. I know-- who's fault is that? And for the last few years, I have found my voice, and the visits have been way better--I just spell out what i won't accept anymore-- and ya know what? They adjust their own plans! What I am afraid of, is falling back into that role, somehow, once all the newness wears off. And the other thing I am concerned about is the grey days--will I be able to adjust? Grey really does affect me--guess I'd have to invest in some full-spectrum lights.

When i spoke to my mom about all this Saturday, and my disappointment that now that I got my hopes up, it may NOT happen anyway, she reminded me that I HAVE to TRUST GOD!! LOL! I know she's right!

Thank you all for your support. Sorry I needed to hear the confirmation-- I mean I'm sorry I couldn't figure it out by myself! Losing your home seems to carry such a feeling of disgrace with it, and it's hard to hold our heads up, sometimes when we think it may come to that.

I do think to a small extent the friends are looking for some excuse to not offer. It IS hard to take in a family of 4--even if it would only be a short while. maybe they think we'd stay way too long or something. I have been looking into campgrounds around here. What would be cool would be to find a place where there is a cottage--not to have to do a tent! LOL--at least not for the winter!

I'm talk as if we've already lost the place--but Sept 15th is NOT here yet! I have to remember that.

A sister in MI has offered their motorhome to live in for a few months if we need it. That's an interesting idea. I have very mixed emotions about that. I haven't lived near my family for 30 years! The thought is exciting-- and scary. Sure I've visited-- and dreamed as if I actually lived there-- but to actually DO that? OH my! LOL! There's REAL winter up there! and grey skies-- a LOT. But there's my family too-- my Mom, cousins for my kids. Big family get-togethers. Petty arguments. I-Yii-Yiii

geisha779,

Thanks for the link--there are a few things i might get into there--I sent the link to my hubby to go through this weekend, also. I'm still reading around there.

Shellon,

I've found a free clinic and am heading out there today. My BP hasn't gone down enough and i know i need to be seen. I have a bunch of other phone numbers right now to call also. I'm glad to hear the encouragement to keep trying everywhere! the calls have all referred me back to the same agency that I've already called, but maybe-- just maybe there will be one place new!

As for my local friends, I was on a phone call with one of them yesterday, and heard something that i don't even have words to say how i feel about it. I had mentioned they are miserable comforters right now. Granted, at the beginning of this whole search, my hubby DID waste a lot of time and our reserve money (the home equity loan), just not looking hard enough to find a job. I was totally frustrated with him. The friends we have (three different couples), would ask me how he was doing and what had he done to look, and I couldn't tell them much because he wasn't doing much. He wouldn't talk to them at all, because-- as he told me, he didn't want to hear them telling him what to do. That's what he's like.

But when finally backed into a corner, realizing there was no other reserves to us and that he didn't have any job, he went out and got this grocery store job. He hates it, but he's doing the right thing by working there and not quitting when he hates it so badly. My frustration is not against him, anymore. I think he is doing the best he is able to do. If he wasn't so down on himself, I do believe there would be more that he could do, but i really don't think he is ABLE to do more right now. Bottom line--it's not enough. Unless something happens real quick-- (and i know God is never late), we WILL lose our home. (I also know that even though God is never late, sometimes he lets us go through things we wouldn't have chosen on our own).

Back to the phone call with the friend. She was asking about the time frame about or mortgage an d all-- we don't have any definate answers--(we did call the HUD counsellors and they can't give us any more info than we already have). Anyway, here is the statement she made--not an exact quote, but something like this.

"I doubt any of us would be able to take you all in if you lose your home, unless Mr Psalm shows more effort in finding a better job" (She included her own family and the other two families we hang out with. I don't know if the others feel the same way or not. I'm not sure i want to know). And I'm not even sure what to think. It IS their perogative whether or not to take someone in--and a family of four is a lot to take in. We never expected them to anyway, but to hear outright that they won't because we haven't done what they think should be done--wow! Is that a true friendship, offering "tough love" or is it something else? I feel let down, but don't even know if I should be! I can't even begin to put into words what I feel. I DO know I'll never tell my hubby-- it would send him into a deeper depression that he's already in! I came here to rant! (sorry)

I Love You too (((((((((((((((Psalmie,& Your "Hubby"))))))))))))))!!!

Isn't it Psalmie nice, that out of Love we care to make sure we understand and endeavor to guard each other with that Love of God! We are GOD's Family!!!!

RG, yes, it is! Thank you so much for your caring concern!!

Shellon, I have applied for the coverage for my hubby and myself--the kids were accepted, but we were not. We are up for a review Sept 9th for the food stamps again, and I have a mail-in review form for the medicaid for the boys, due by Sept 1st. (just got it in Saturday's mail).

I can't remember what the reason was that my hubby and I were turned down for coverage. I've put in a call to my caseworker to talk to her before the review appointment to re-apply for the coverage for the adults, but, as usualy, my call hasn't been returned. I will be asking about the form again, and when i get it, I will probably want to go over it with you--maybe I missed something-- i know I made a few mistakes last time around.

As to the medical appointments needed right now-- I went in for my women's health exam last week-- was supposed to be the exam with referral for a mamogram--and AFTER I got there, spending the gas money that we didn't have, they sent me home-- no exam. There is no money for the mamograms, so they wanted to wait on the rest of the exam, so that they weren't too old of results when it came time to get the mamogram. Since I had called for directions just before I came in, I sure wish they had told me THEN!

I DO need to see a Doctor--my BP is racing. (170/110) I called my own Dr, to be seen and ask him to adjust the medicines he gave me--told them the readings, asked if I could pay in part and they bill me the rest--no go. They insist on payment the same day--I have been their patient for 3 years! Not anymore!

There is a clinic near here that has hours on Tuesday and Thursday evenings--I'm sure I'll wait awhile, but there are Drs there. The health department has only nurses there, so they can't adjust the BP medicine.

I'll be PMing you for help when i have the forms!

Thanks!

W & W, That is wonderful about the prognosis! YAYYYYY! That's gotta be a relief to hear. Cool, too, that you can get the kindergarten class!

The kids are on medicaid, which i'm glad for-- it's just basic coverage-- no dental or vision, but at least they are covered. I applied for my hubby and me, but we are not eligible. I can't remember the reason, because our income level is well within poverty level, but we aren't eligible, just the same. I can get a mamogram through medicaid, but it will be a wait of several months.

I think i will read up on the cayenne and niacin. I think I remember something about magnesium being good for High BP, also.

Wow, Wash n Wear, I'm glad you caught it in time, also and that you are still with us! And you too, Rocky!

You two have my attention! There's a history of congestive heart failure in my family, I'm overweight abd i don't excersize. Depending on what I've been into reading lately, I eat healthy, but not always. And I have pains in my back between the shoulder blades-- a lot. And the stress we're under--well, I'm not going there right now.

Only reason i haven't checked it out is no health insurance-- and right now we can't even pay the regular bills. But I'm going to find out if there are some programs in place somewhere that could get me into some place where i can be tested!

Oh dear, RainbowsGirl!

And I'm sorry I came across seemingly misunderstanding you! I did get what you meant! That God's answers aren't always that which we ask for. If we lose our home and we've done everything we know to do, but still lose it--there may be a reason greater than we understand at that moment. I'm having a hard time saying what I mean clearly. I know you are not one of the miserable comforter friends. I love you, ((((((((RG))))))))))) and i thank you for your care and encouragement!

I know of a story of a family with 6 children at the time, who also had a single mom and her kids living with them, and they lost their home. Prayed against it, claimed deliverance in Jesus' name. Went through steps to try to save their home. But they still lost their home. Long story short, within two years, everybody ended up in a much better situation, they never had to live under a viaduct or anything. It was a valuable lesson in trusting God and they say they'd never trade it in for the world. And they are able to help single moms in many situations.

Shellon

Wow! I printed out your suggestions! I did wonder if it might be true that they might say to some folks the funds are depleted, and yet still have some. I work at a food pantry, and the director occasionally comes back to have me pack up a box even more than the standard amount if it is people he knows, where he knows their story is viable. And when people come in with stories that don't seem as viable and there is no way to confirm it, he has me pack just the minimums.

I also had the thought to call local churches, but figured they'd only give to members. I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask!

I have a question--today in reading all the links i have found, it looked to me that the federal food stamp program and the state program are two different programs. Did I misread?

I'll find out about the schools, also.

I did find several other agencies that I can call about energy assistance. I made up a list today and gathered all the info and i will be on the phone all day tomorrow. (BTW, I finally found a place to get my own mamogram free--I had to wait a long time for the appointment, and it is finally this week!)

I really, really appreciate the advice, and will be following up on the stuff I wasn't aware of!!! I had to forewarn the boys they can't bother me while I make all the calls. (Ben's good for several emergencies throughout the day! LOL!)

Thank you all for your prayers and advice.

George, yeah, he's been to those websites--a whole lot! He sends resumes to new job offers several times a week, but nothing yet. And yeah, Coolchef-- we thought the same thing--evidently the compitition is fiercer, too. One of the problems, we think, is that he only has a two year degree and a lot of these jobs require a four year degree. If they'd give his experience a chance, they'd see he can sell just as well as the fresh kid from college with a four year degree--probably better.

There were two jobs he interviewed well for, it was looking good, but then both of them sent him to a website where he had to do a test. For one of the jobs, it was a writing skills test--which he did horribly at. At least that test had some significance to the job-- he would be having to write up sales contracts, so good writing skills are important. But my hubby doesn't have good writing skills. Dyslexic people have trouble in that area-- I usually proofread everything he writes, but for that job, I wouldn't have been able to, so we accepted that. (His previous job, he worked out of an office here at home, so I could check his stuff before he sent it out).

The second test really didn't have any significance to the job he'd interviewed for, and if he'd have called me to help him sooner, he probably would have passed it. I don't think it would have affected his job perfomance one way or another, even if he "passed" it because I was the one who actually took it. This test would give a definition of a word, and then five choices to choose from--only the first letter of the word. The other questions were a sequnce of numbers, you choose which number would come next--again, multiple choice. Well, if you are a person who loves puzzles, the first type of question is like a crossword puzzle, and the second is logic. But my hubby is not a logical thinker--but he's a darn great salesman! I think the tests are a bit discriminatory.

RG, thanks for that reminder-- I KNOW God doesn't make unwise decisions on our behalf, but it's good to hear that from other people once in awhile, too. We have nearby friends who seem to think it must be something we have done, or are NOT doing--and we're quick to wonder that ourselves, with the waybrain that still rears it's ugly head. The friends were never TWI, and maybe that kind of thinking is reminiscent of Job's friends? And yes, Psalm 71 is a wonderful choice right now-- I do go to it often in times like these.

Kit, thank you, too, for your words of encouragement. I truly appreciate your Gift of Encouragement on this website. I appreciate your prayers, and continued hope for us. I did know I should get in here for an update, but I was hoping it would be to post that he'd gotten some job that would actually pay the bills! HA!

Linda--THANKS for that website! I had looked up every local agency that helps with bills, and all of them say their funds are gone. Some of the links are the places I HAVE called, but some are new-- I'm gonna try them. It's usually only help with heat and/or electricity, and that's perfect! (We're getting turn-off notices). The foreclosure stuff is really valuable--we HAVE been talking with the bank, and they are very nice, and give advice, but we are always aware they are looking out for the best interests of their bank, and we have wondered if there may be other things we oughta know about before the discussion that will happen Sept 15th. It didn't occur to me to google "avoiding foreclosure", because I know there are so many scams out there that want to profit from someone else's bad circumstances. But this one is a valid site! We're reading up before we talk to them.

I can't sleep tonight, thinking about our situation, so I'm coming back here with the request for more prayer. I had posted that my hubby lost his job last year, in July. He didn't look hard for a replacement at the beginning, because we had a sizeable home equity line of credit, and he didn't think we'd get to the end of that. It was frustrating to me at the time!

Well. long story short, we have hit the end of the home equity, and the unemployment benefits, and the retirement plan, and have sold many things just to get things like the electric bill paid, etc. I have called every agency out there that usually helps. and we have food stamps, but most of these agencies are so overwhelmed with people's needs that they are out of funds. My hubby has been working part time at a local grocery store. We haven't paid the mortgage since March, and we have til Sept 15 with the mortgage co, at which time, they will decide where we go from there. If he were to have a decent enough job that would make some sort of payments, I think they would rewrite the loan. but from where it stands now, we're a bit worried. Between the two of us in our part time work, we bring in maybe $300 a week.

In the last 3 or 4 months, there have been so many "almost" job offers that I can't even remember them all. My hubby gets the interveiw, things look good, in a couple cases, there was even a start date, just to have it fall through. It's getting really discouraging. Too much detail to explain well here, but suffice it to say, there have been many "carrots" dangled in front of us, just to have them pulled away. We even had a puppy for sale that didn't sell-- that would have paid a few more bills, but he never sold. He's almost 5 months old, and we have to give him away--a beautifull, registered Maltese, normally selling for $800, just because we can't be keeping 3 dogs.

Now I KNOW God is not caught off guard by any of this--none of it is a surprise to Him. He's fully aware that if the puppy sold, we'd be able to pay this month's bills (excluding the mortgage). He's fully aware that if just ONE of these jobs would finally come through--even one that at least was full time, that at least some of the financial strain would be lightened. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, HE is capable of pulling us out of this just at the last minute so we don't lose our home. But for some reason it hasn't happened, and He knows that too.

We have prayed, oh we have prayed--searching prayers, Lord if there is something we are supposed to do--or stop doing, in order to get out of this spiral, please show us so we can do it. We have questioned our faith-- Lord are we being too passive in our belief? Are we supposed to go back to the Name it-Claim it thinking, and then things will turn? We have heard in our prayers that we are NOT going to lose the home, but now we question, did we hear that from God, or did we hear what we wanted to hear?

My husband is so tired-- he works in the dairy department of an extremely busy grocery store. I don't think I could portray what he does in any understandable way--but he empties pallets all day, nonstop--he doesn't even have time to take a break, so he eats his lunch while he's working--because heaven forbid there should be a gap on the shelves. A pallet is maybe 4'x4' and stacked 6' high with crates of milk--4 gallons in each crate--maybe 96 crates--per pallet. Then there are the other dairy products. then the milk needs to be filled again, then they start on a new milk pallet-- all in the course of one day. He's lost a lot of weight, doing all that lifting. I had gone through all his suits the beginning of the year, to let out the waistbands--and some of them had already been let out to their limit and he couldn't wear them--now I would have to take everything in again if he should ever get a job again where he might get to wear them again.

We are discouraged. And worried. We know God is in control, but we are truly challenged in our faith at the moment. We haven't stopped praying at all, and we have some awesome family Bible studies, but when it comes to getting out of this financial tailspin, or any answers, as to why, or WHAT do we do, it seems we're not hearing anything. We often times remind each other of the "Footprints" poem, knowing we ARE being carried by God during our roughest times, but it's hard to see it from our own persective.

We are desperately in need of prayer.

RON! SHHHHHHH! In cyberspace pigs can fly, and I can get rid of my kudzu in a week! SO THERE!

SPLATT SPLAT! SPLAT!

Sheeesh!

Everybody else, go back to your regularly scheduled --um, er postings