Psalm 71 one

That darn Feathers feller planted kudzu all over our property! It took me all this time to hack through it! I lost one of the dogs for three days! Every time I stopped to rest, it grew back 10 feet! SHEESH! I think I got it all, though, and I'm gonna tar and feather :blink: him!

Anyway, thank you all for the encouragement! Ron, you're funny!!

Jeff, YES! new friend! Be careful though! I do surprise flyovers!

My hubby IS getting into the swing of the job better. He still hates it, he's been used to a sales job, and he happens to be in the most physically demanding location of the store-- the dairy dept-- heavy stuff. He's lost a lot of weight and is thankful for that!

The visit to the friends' house was good. My hubby and I were pretty nervous about going, and he almost backed out--10 min before we were supposed to leave. The boys were out waiting in the car and we were both inside with him going back and forth about going. I couldn't make that decision for him. He finally decided he was going (20 min after i wanted to leave! ARRRGGHH!) But it was a good thing he went-- I think the visit wouldn't have gone as well if he'd stayed home again.

There were a lot of other folks there, but he got a chance to talk a bit with the man. They didn't really discuss the "school issue", but it's like the pressure is off. Our two families have been friends for 5 years, and it seems the friendship is still there, but there is an aloofness, or something there with all of the adults. The kids are all friendship as always. This family has moved on, it seems. They have made a lot of new friends in a homeschool group, and they are doing all sorts of things with them.

Wanna hear something stupid? I'm jealous of the new friends. We were once--according to the woman in this couple, "so valuable of friends" and they were so glad we'd remained their friend all these years. (That was last year, when we'd been friends 4 yrs) How's that go, how the mighty have fallen? er sompin? And in the phone call I had made to her, she stated that she hoped this incident wouldn't ruin our friendship. I agreed, and yet I am sorta on guard. But when I felt the "on guard" back from them, and they are making new friends, and feeling like we might be replaced, I was jealous! I know, I'm weird! LOL!

We have been invited back and we will be going, I guess it's just going to take some time to rebuild the friendship and keep well-defined boundaries. Why does life have to be so complicated? LOL!

Lois is going to be on her last week of chemo this week! She's doing well. they had chenged the "formula" the second three weeks and the symptoms were in some ways better and in some ways worse. She has more aches and pains, but less fatigue!

One of her complaints is that now she's a "hothead" LOL! meaning her beautiful bald head gets HOT!

She's still her cheery self--She's really my hero!

She will be getting radiation for 5 days a week for six weeks, but i don't know exactly when that starts. She was borderline for whether or not they were going to do the radiation, but they decided to go ahead--mainly a better safe than sorry thing. She's not real happy about that, (because of the daily drive), but would rather have it now than to discover they didn't get it all and have to go through all of this again!

Thanks for all the prayers

I have to apologize for not getting back here to let you know what we decided.

The long and short of it is, we are NOT sending Isaac to the friends. I called the woman to tell her no, and while I was at it, I told her she had overstepped my boundaries in making that offer as well as other things she "suggested" (pushed). To her credit, she apologized and expressed concern that I would walk away from a five-year friendship. The suggestion was her husbands, and she wouldn't have been able to let her son go either. As for the friendship, I'm torn. Yeah, we were friends for 5 years so i don't want to let that go either. BUT just how healthy was that friendship? I'm wary now. They invited us to their home for memorial day. My hubby and I are a bit aprehensive, but we will go. We're also ready to cut and run if necessary!

As for Isaac going for any long weekends again, we're not going to let that happen for awhile.

This whole thing has stirred up a can of worms with my hubby and myself. It has been a tough few weeks, but I think it's a good thing--it's the only place to be if we're gonna work some things out. I don't want to get into that here, but prayer would be a great thing for now! If ya tell me we oughta be going for counselling, well, yeah I totally agree, but my hubby still won't go. But at least we ARE talking--the lid is off the can of worms! That's hard, but I know it's a real good thing.

BTW, my hubby finally has a job-- at the local grocery store--it's physically hard labor (lots of heavy lifting) and he's 56. It'll pay a few bills. He hates it, but he's faithfully staying with it, and I thank him frequently!! Ben and I give him foot rubs and backrubs! LOL! We still need him to find something that pays better or we will eventually lose our house. (The mortgage company IS working with us, so that is good). I have a part time job, too. It's working for a friend, doing some online reseach for her--and then i have to type stuff up. I'm real slow at typing, so the pay per hour isn't real good, but it's something! I'll probably get something more when we are done with school for the summer, but this is good for now! Thanks for all the prayers about the job situation!

Jeff Sjo,

AH! So now you know!! You just let me know any time you need to be reminded! (wait a minute! I think you won't tell me, so I'm gonna have to remind ya!! LOL!) Watch out! I'm really dangerous! I have this whole board quivering in fear about my flyovers--just ask 'em!

ummmm, maybe ya shouldn't ask them, just take my word for it!

Sorry for the derail, I'll get back to my pen now!! heehee

Well, maybe JeffSjo was hungry!! He wasn't afraid of THE FLYING PIGGIE, but I betcha NOW he is! huh? huh?

That'll teach him! :D

Here, Feathers, lemme help you. . . (psalmie gets out the firehose) SWOOOOOOSSSSHHHHH!

And now fer Waysider. . .

SPLAAATTTTT! SPLAT! SPLAT!

(spaghetti dinner, lemon jello, lima beans and soggy lettuce)

I've never thrown lima beans before, figgered I'd try 'em out!

Did somebody call the pig?

DID SOMEBODY CALL THE PIG?

grrrrrrrrrr! tHIS PIG IS madddd!

WATCHITT, JeffSjo, INCOMING!!!!!

SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!!!!

SPLATTTTTTT!

That wasn't just a pie or two, it was sloppy joes, mashed taters, banana pudding and key lime pie!!! Oh, yeah, and the chocolate cream pie that "accidentally landed on Feathers!

P.S. I didn't read the thread, all I saw was the dress the pig up remark, and HAD to defend pigs everywhere!

'sides that, lookit THIS!

I've read what you all have said. and want to comment, plan on commenting. I can't right now.

I do know with all the prayer and soul-searching I've been doing this week, the loudest i keep hearing is, Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift from the Lord. . .

I BEGGED for this child, I pleaded for this child, I ORDERED God to give me this child (waybrain). I did all sorts of things to help God give me this child. I lost several before I had him. I finally got quiet and accepted that maybe I wasn't gonna have any children. That was when God gave him to me. This gift-- this wonderful gift of laughter we called Isaac. He's a gift God gave to US. Both of us! Weakneses, mistakes and all.

People certainly have every right to give a gift that was given to them, to someone else to hold or keep for awhile. But if it's a gift THIS precious, I better make darned sure that those who hold this gift are fully trustworthy!

The woman was telling me i had to do what is best for Isaac. Well, her opinion of what that is and mine might not be the same!

(I know, duh, but i am too quick to second guess my own self)

I'll be back, and I am so thankful to all of you for your observations and prayers!

A la prochaine,

I am aware that both dyslexia and ADD ADHD can be overdiagnosed. My mom was an OT and learned that some so-called learning disabilities could be overcome by having the kids crawling around on hands and knees--something about the alternating of the limbs. Sometimes i wonder if some of Ben's dificulties are hearing related, although standard hearing test at physicals say his hearing is fine. Anyway, i think i will look at his info.

Isaac and I sat down today making pro and con lists. Funny thing, if they still lived 3 miles away, as they once did, we both would more seriously consider having him go as a day school arrangement. the friend totored Ben a few years ago, and he enjoyed it--I took her daughter at that time and taught her basic home-ec type classes.

WG, yeah, I would like to hear what your hubby says. These guys are not scientologists, but they also have never been around people who have any types of handicaps and such. when I had my operation on my ankle, she kinda stayed away til I could get around, because she didn't know 'what to do". (I needed help washing my hair, other little things) On the other hand, when she tutored Ben, she was extremely patient and had an approach I hadn't tried, and succeeded in getting him to read much better than i had gotten him. She wouldn't acknowledge that he might have a learning disability/difference, and explained away that all kids turn their letters around. but she WAS patient in reminding him to rewrite his backwards letter. That is why this is hard to decide, because, while she won't acknowledge the learning glitch, she will tutor to his needs, most of the time--my fear is, If IF If he should run into a block specific to his dyslexia--or whatever it may be. (Isaac, i mean). Then again, her teaching style may get him over a block.

I HAVE mentioned to her that I wished i could get tutoring for one or both of them-- also, there is a school nearby that teaches specifically to dyslexics, and i had told her i wanted to get one or both of them there for at least some tutoring. Since she HAD tutored one of my kids-- and is fairly good at it, I think that got the gears turning in her head.

Socks, I hear ya. i wish i could just ask her to help ME out instead, or, like I said, if she was close by, and it could be a tutoring thing--even if one to two days a week. I DO want what's BEST for him. And I'm really not bothered by "different"--that kinda stuff has a tendency to iron out when everybody is adult--ya know, the high school "nerd" ends up being the boss! LOL!

Twinky, I know what you sre saying--it may help the "culture shock thing" if he were to do this, but being it's 9th grade, and there are three more years to high school, and i am afraid this will "grow" into all four years. Part of it, is i think if Isaac does adjust, and enjoys it there--if they really are helpful in his schooling, and not harsh, too pushy or whatever, but are pleasant and great to live with, HE would want to stay. Financially every need he would have, they would meet-- they get their kids anything they want. At their house, he'd have a wii, an ipod, current game system. We have one game cube and old cd walkmans. Isaac and i have wondered, too, if maybe having him stay for a few weeks as a trial, before next school year, might be an idea. He and I have made a list today of the pros and cons. HE is aware that with them, some of the academic type needs might be more apt to be met. It's hard!

Linda, yeah, they are kinda hard-core fundimentalists. I think maybe we would be seen as that, too. He was a preacher in the Christian church denomination, then I think he pastored at a different denomination, also. We all met at a church in Baltimore. He ran a home group at that church. Eventually, several of the families left the church and we started up an independant home church. He led it. I do trust him to teach my son fairly close to what we believe, although i don't always agree with some of their extreme beliefs.

The problem is, Isaac has embraced some of their beliefs--he hangs out a lot with them. He really likes these guys, and while i said he's not a crowd follower, he IS a (this family) follower. Usually if the xxxx's say it, Isaac believes it. We, our whole family really enjoyed the home church we had with them. we did get out of the waybrain thinking in this home church. i can honestly say I am thankful for the time we had with them in their home church--we learned a lot and unlearned a whole lot of other stuff!

The friendship between the adults continued after they moved, but when my hubby lost his job, and wasn't doing much to replace it, they separated themselves from us. (the verse, if a man doesn't work, he shouldn't eat. also says not to fellowship with him) while they separated themselves from the adults, they continued to have Isaac over for these occasional weekends. I think, to a small extent, it is kinda like your aunt and uncle trying to fill the void of their older son going away to college. They would definately love and spoil him. I also think there is a measure of them thinking they would be 'rescuing' Isaac. with them, he would have more opportunities for success. With us, he may continue the cycle of poverty--or at least near-poverty. Isaac recognizes the fact that with them, it would definately help him break the cycle he is in with us.

Here is maybe the real dilemma on my part. A lot of Isaac's 'pro's to go there had to do with getting somewhat of a break from his dad. He loves us both very much. but I've seen this clash coming since they started clashing when Isaac was little. I tried to tell my hubby back then, but he always shifted the blame. Which is what he does now. Isaac often is the one that backs down, and I think he is fairly successful in fighting down any resentment. He and I have some conversations about this and I try to teach him to not harbor anger. I think he can do that well, just because of his personality-- he's not the quick-to-anger type of person, and has a long fuse. But this is I think a bigger dilemma for me than the school. After reading all these posts, i realize i HAVE to change what i am doing-- get the testing, get the "point in the right direction', do the paperwork. But i am right now, in the same dillemma my mom was in many years ago. My mom had to let go of my two older brothers, one at a time, because of the clash between them and my dad. If they didn't move away, something ugly might have happened. this is not exactly the same situation, but there are a lot of simlarities.

There it is

Linda, my Moses (Maltese) loves kleenex, used or new. I can no longer leave a bpx out on the table by the couch cuz he'll chew and shred them all. He'd do the same to toilet paper rolls left out. Both my dogs try to "dry" my legs just after i get out of the shower, and both will lick the lotion off my legs! Moses tries to clean our ears-- talk about a "wet willie" LOL!

Mo-mo LOVES chocolate (yes i KNOW they're not supposed to have it!) But a couple times we left a chocolate bar, chocolate chips, and once my LINDOR TRUFFLES, dangitt!--out on a coffee table. each of those times, he has devoured the chocoltae and then preceeded to puke chocolate puke all over the house--at least 15 puke piles! joy joy. . .

We once had a cat that would dig used Q tips out of the trash and chew on the "contents" EWWWWWW!

Zippie, my female Maltese likes snacks out of the litter box. We try to keep it scooped, but sometimes she beats us to it! EWWWW again!

Thank you all. Today was a hard day. I have prayed, gotten angry, gotten defensive, looked inward, thinking of myself as a failure, then yelling (In my mind! LOL)

I AM HiS MOTHER!!!! GOD DIDN'T MAKE A MISTAKE IN GIVING THIS CHILD TO ME!

I am wondering what they are really thinking now, too. Are they saying, "you are ruining this child, give him to us so we can fix him" ? Or are they making this offer because they like this kid, they know that 16 yo is gonna miss his older brother, who is going to college next year, lets try to get someone to fill the void. Or is it just because they heard me say i am struggling in teaching these guys, and they want to help me fix things.

I HAVE considered public school--or at least the public school's homeschool program. I enjoy having him home. He enjoys being home. Isaac IS different--always has been. He didn't fit in well with his peers even when he was little. Maybe the other kids found him "odd", but the parents always liked him. He hasn't "clicked" with most public school kids, he doesn't have the desire to wear what they wear and play what they play just because everybody else does. He's more mature than most of them I have met. He gets along well with other homeschoolers unless they are "crowd followers".

As his mother, i think this is a great trait--he walks to the beat of a different drum! lol. I also know when he goes away to college, he will probably have a bit of culture shock. But i also believe he is strong enough to handle it-- as he would be if i DO put him into public school--he's not going to get talked into drugs or anything-- he has his own convictions. He has a stength of discipline my hubby or I never had in high school. He has the strength to be a Daniel, or a Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

I'm serious. If he were dragged awy to another country like those young men were, he has that kind of strength, that he would not bow.

That is my Isaac. That is what these friends see in him. I see the same in their son--the one closest to Isaac in age. I trust these guys to raise my children, should we die. But we are not dead, and this is a choice.

But i also have a hard time with their adamency (is that a word?) against learning differences. The man who was a high school teacher was in a small private christian school--I think for only two years. But he's still a stickler for good education, for doing the SAt tests several times, and for good ability in writing. Isaac is NOT a good writer-- that's where the dyslexia really gets in the way. And i believe that is where problems might come in-- they might try to push him to do something he may NOT be able to do. The man has started on me a couple times in trying to tell me where i am doing things wrong. He also has the maturity to back down and not risk the friendship, so the discussion doesn't go too far. But these are the kind of people who also say antidepressants are unnecessary. I think they are uncomfortable with weakness. They are very driven, competitive people. (I want to give a couple examples, but i think I am being too long-winded as it is.

I have wondered what his SAT will be if there isn't leeway given in the timed testing. He knows his facts, but does absolutely horrible in times tests. That is just one of the aspects.

I don't want to miss acknowledging any of you who posted, but I know how hard it is to read long posts! Shellon, Cowgirl, Purpledays, Zshot, Waysider, WhiteDove, Thank you all so much for your input-- I've somewhat answered ya, but haven't mentioned your name when i did. I hear ya all, and I will need to reread everything here again! I love you guys! Mr Feathers-- yep, you'll live to regret that-- just when you least expect it!

Ron, the reason he'd have to live with them is how far apart we live. It takes 1 1/2 hours to get to their house during non-rush hours. If I were driving him back and forth, in the mornings, during rush hour, it would take 2 or more hours to get him there-- them I'd still have to get home. can't afford it either in time or gas money.

Mo, I didn't know about the six different types of dyslexia, but i believe it. the ways i worked with Isaac are not working with Ben. I will take yours, and everyone else who suggested it, advice in looking into having him tested-- i stopped persuing it years ago when i discovered it would be as much as $3000 without health insurance (or more).

Dooj, I cried again when you said that about Isaac's real life brother. Ben thinks the world of Isaac. Isaac's sentiments are not always the same-- Ben really can be a pesky little brother and i have to call him off Isaac sometimes! lol! This couple has made it clear that they want me to make this decision as a one year comminment (school year).

And Washnwear, I have wondered too about the long-term repercussions. I have considered asking you a hundred times if you can point me in the right direction concerning the dyslexia stuff.

Socks, Isaac is a phonetic speller, too, but excellent in math. He wants to be an engineer! His "salvation" in spelling is that he can memorize so well. Ben is having a much tougher time, because he has almost NO memorization ability. Plus he is such a kinetic learner he HATES book learning-- he loves science because i try to do everything hands on.

WG, I haven't read that book, but I read one about the Visual, auditory, kinetic--and one other that slips my mind! I haven't read too much on teaching the teacher books lately--I read a million in the first few years. I think I'll look that one up at the library. I do think this family does think i use the dyslexia as an excuse. And to be honest, sometimes i wonder if I am, too. Like I didn't give Isaac grades for spelling--I just made him correct his mistakes and quizzed him on the missed words a few days later.

Dan, yeah, we are in GA now. I think we know each other, but I haven't contacted you yet! LOL Guess I better now that I've said this. . . Isaac sounds a lot like your oldest--doesn't appreciate being shoehorned into things.

I s'pose i oughta stop for now--Some of ya might not even still be here. Sorry for talking so much. I've faced a lot of tough decisions in my life, but I'd have to say this might be one of the toughest!

Because I don't think it will be easy to tell them no, if that is what we say.

Isaac would benefit in many ways;

He and their 16 yo son are really great friends and would truly enjoy being “brothers”.

They would probably pay for his driver’s ed. Also—something we will not be able to do for a long time. (Hubby’s been unemployed since July, and in addition wasn’t very wise with the savings we were living off of, so now we have a bunch of financial problems we wouldn’t have to be going through—enough said on that. I don’t want to go there in a public forum)

As a matter of fact, just about anything he would need they would take care of—they would treat him as their own—they are that kind of people and they LOVE Isaac.

Isaac loves them. He loves their lively conversations. They are all competitive arguers, and love to get into debates. He is a rational thinker and they are too.

Again, I have to admit, I have been seeing my own limitations—not from lack of intelligence or even ability on my part, but because I procrastinate, and haven’t seemed to be able to beat that weakness on my part. Even when I know it may hinder my child’s education. And if I don’t do what I am supposed to do, it would hinder my son’s

education. That should be enough for me to get past it, but I haven’t gotten past it.

Ben would benefit from better one-on-one time with me, although he’d miss Isaac terribly—he adores Isaac.

When I ran the idea past him, he definitely was interested—although he didn’t like the idea of not being with us. (It would be long stretches between seeing him, because this family is really busy—it could be more than a month in between seeing him)

But I could see his mind running with it.

The point my friend kept saying is that I have to do what’s best for Isaac. It’s possible this IS what is best for him.

But he’s MY SON!!! I don’t want him to go away yet! I’m gonna have a hard enough time when he has to go away to college! The more I think about it, the more I have been crying. Because this would really benefit him, but I would lose him sooner!

Because, to be honest, it wouldn’t be for just one year, ninth grade—it would end up being all of high school. And what hurts is that he would conform well into their family.

And he WOULD benefit—and he would probably end up in a much better situation in his adult life than he would if he was with us. BUT HE’S MINE! I waited many years and many miscarriages to have this child! I fought with my husband for the privilege of home schooling him because I really love being with him. I have loved every age more than the last. He is a really great young man—anyone who meets him, just loves him, and comments on how responsible he is.

When Isaac saw that I had been crying, he admitted he didn’t like the idea that he would have to be so far away from us. Ben overheard and asked about it and was in tears about Isaac going too. But Isaac and I know the benefits may far outweigh our family staying intact. Isaac loves us very much, but he knows this might be best for him—even though he really doesn’t want to be away from us for such long periods of time.

This would be so much easier to decide on, if we all lived close—I would drive him to their house every day. I would welcome the help—if nothing more than to have some time alone with Ben.

I haven’t run this past my hubby. I don’t know how he will react. He is in a deep depression about our situation, but I really think he doesn’t realize a lot of it is of his making. He’s seeing this unemployment as unfair and what has he done wrong. Again, I don’t want to get into it here, but he has made a lot of bad decisions, that he sees only as himself being a victim. He is depressed, and he makes horrible comments against himself. When he hears about this, he will react in one of two ways. Be offended that the friends are trying to interfere, or go into his ‘poor me, I can’t provide, here you might as well have my son’. I’m not sure he will see that this is a situation where maybe we SHOULD look at this from a viewpoint of Isaac’s best interests.

If you are still reading, what do you think? Would you let your son go this young?

Today I was presented with a suggestion that has had me in tears a bunch, and put me in a position where I need to make a tough decision. This is gonna be a long post, so I am goig to break it up into two posts.

Where do I start?

A friend has offered to take Isaac next year to home school him—kinda like a boarding school. (Isaac will be 15 May 5th) They absolutely love Isaac and he loves going there—they have an 18yo and a 16 yo son, Isaac goes frequently to do a long weekend stay. He brings his school with him and stays from Wed night to Sun night. The man has been a high school teacher and is a real stickler for a good education. And that has paid off in his life—he has a six-figure income, and I definitely would trust them to raise my child well. They are my first choice for my children to go to should they become orphans.

We have known these guys for almost 5 years. They have been careful to not go too far in telling me this, but I know they definitely don’t agree with my style of schooling. Both of my boys have dyslexia, and these folks pretty much don’t “buy” into “learning disabilities”. Part of the disconnect there is that I don’t have an “official” diagnosis.

I am giving them the label based on what I see them do in school, and having read up a bit online, and while in MD, the person who I had do my home school assessments (required in MD 2x a year), was a former special ed teacher who mostly worked with dyslexic children, and saw “symptoms” classic to dyslexia—she wouldn’t diagnose and highly recommended getting the testing—which we have been unable to do because we haven’t had medical insurance in years.

Anyway, my friends don’t really believe in “learning disabilities”. I actually prefer the term learning difference because my boys are plenty intelligent enough—in fact they work quite hard at their schoolwork—but they can’t spell and have trouble remembering proper grammar, which sometimes other people interpret as being unintelligent. These friends are really into writing ability. The thing is, they are very patient and diligent in their teaching style and I think they—both Mr. and Mrs. would be a great help in working with Isaac.

We are coming into the high school years, and I know his schooling is much more important now—and keeping really good records. I had planned on enrolling him in an accredited online high school, because I know I am too scatterbrained to keep good enough records, and want a better school transcript than I can do. I also know I don’t give either boy the time they really need. They are getting a basic education, but not a lot of extra time.

This is hard to admit, but I think my friends might do a better job during the high school years. And they have offered to pay for anything Isaac needs for his education.

But he would have to go live with them because they live two hours’ drive away.

I'm home Shellon, thanks. I've been home a week and have popped in here a few times, but haven't posted. I came back sick!

We had a family get-together on easter and one family member came with her dish to pass and the flu! (Running a fever, etc)

Now when someone is going through chemo they have a stretch of days where they have to be germ-o-phobe! Thankfully, Lois didn't get it, or my 81 year old Mom, but Lois' hubby got it, my brother got it--with the added complication of pneumonia, several neices and nephews got it, and i came down with it on the drive home. Chills, fever, the shakiness ya get with fever, nausea--0all while going down the highway at 75mph! I had to remind myself to stay alive til I got home! haha!

I ended up going to the emergency room Monday night (a week ago--)had a temp of 104 and was freezing. I'll never go to the emeergency room again-- even if i do have a fever that high. Waited 6 hours to be seen, while my fever peaked, broke and I got the sweats! I did get seen and got some prescriptions, had to be on an every three hours dosing of ibuprofen alternated with tylenol/codeine. So I was half out of it with the fever then the other half out of it from the meds! LOL! Almost a week of my life has passed and I didn't know about it. I don't think i can ever remember having been that sick!

I'm mostly well-- have a bout of bronchitis--something i get every winter whether i need it or not, but I am really down. It's been grey for several days and i really miss my family. I lived every day life with them. Having Lois going through chemo ISN'T normal everyday life, but we still lived and every day life. Had meals together, I waited on Lois and my mom when ever I could. Ben got to play in snow, since it snowed for us several times. It was so sweet hearing the laughing playing cousins be together. my mom isn't real into computer, had no TV, but we almost didn't notice it, cuz in the evenings when we came back from Lois' house, we played card games and chatted. I know life wouldn't quite be like that if i lived up there, but being around them so much made me notice the every day life things that I miss out on. But the truth of the matter is, to have them-- to live near them, would be chossing to not be married to my hubby. He hates Michigan--hates most northern climates--and doesn't really have a lot of tolerance for my family. (long story, it's just my hubby's personality-- doesn't make it right, but it's who he is-and i think I have to stop there! LOL)

But then i come home, he still doesn't have a job, has a few excuses for why not, has pretty much taken over our vending business (mine and the boys')--as well as the income from that, and he won't tell me where we REALLY stand financailly) All I know is the only money we have is whatever is left from the tax return money.

I'm finding myself wanting to escape, but that would bring it's own set of problems, so that's not an option.

I just need lots of prayer for ME right now.

Sorry i haven't told too much about Lois right now. She is halfway through the course of chemo (three weeks into the six weeks ) She hasn't heard yet whether or not she will have to do the radiation.

She is doing well in her attitude, cept she went through a bit of a depression too for a few days after i left. She called it a pout!

She didn't get sick, she does get really tired a few days right after the chemo--she calls it "Chemo-tose". But then she can function pretty well after that. She's really cute when her brain fizzles. She was trying to think of the word for shelves, and used her hands to describe what she wanted--we got it, since she talks with her hands quite well anyway!! LOL

I really miss her!

Well, no cancer for my other sister. WHEW! I don't remember what exactly they explained to me, but something about calcification "mass" .

Ben and I are off early tomorrow morning-- Tuesday. We'll drive about halfway and we have a hotel. I'm gonna have to drive straight through on the way home, cuz I bet I won't have any money for a hotel on the way home. Wanna put us up? haha!

I'll be posting from Lois' house next time i post here! I'm sooo looking forward to being there for her! A friend of hers teased her that she'd (Lois) do anything to get me up there to see her, and Lois said yep!! LOL!

Anyway, thanks for all the prayers, and I'll keep ya posted!

dang, i just heard today that another sister is having a biopsy done on "suspicious" lumps they found in her breast

siiiigh, I'll post what is found out. . .

Sorry it takes me so long to get here--we're still sharing this one computer between three of us. (I don't want to mumble-grumble about all that right now <_< ) Anyway, it's time for a

LOIS UPDATE

Lois has gone through her first round of chemo, and took note of her reactions--which days were worst, etc, in order to get a feel for what it will be like for each time after that. Her Dr.s did say that with each round the "lows" will get lower.

Her worst day was the Monday after the chemo--on Thursday (every three weeks). She was so weak and tired, she had trouble holding her eyelids open. She was in a horrible fog, and had to call my Mom to come and babysit her. She knows to expect a repeat of that.

Her appitite is "okay". She doesn't have too bad of nausea, but when she eats, even a tiny bit, she feels overstuffed and uncomfortable. Not too fun to go through, but it could be worse.

I don't think she has gotten word yet about the results of the ct scan to see how far the cancer has spread--I guess we'll hear more about that soon.

Pray for my 81 year old mom--she's really having a hard time with this. She and Lois are really close. They lived together for several years after Lois' divorce, and then have always lived close after Lois and Jim got married. They all look out for one another. If they'd have their 'druthers, Lois and Jim would have a property with two homes--one for them, one for my Mom. (My mom is in great health and is fiercely independent).

Ben and I are heading up there the 11th--(of March) her next chemo treatment is the 13th. We're gonna stay two weeks--actually I plan on pushing it to about 2 1/2 weeks. I would consider even longer, but my hubby doesn't like that idea, and to be honest, I would have a hard time being away from Isaac any longer than that.

And if my hubby actually DOES find a job while I am gone, Isaac would be alone every day--he's certainly old enough (14)--and even enjoys having the house to himself sometimes, but day after day for a long stretch, might be a bit hard on him.

Pray for a break in gas prices, I have a very limited amount to work with to get there and back. And for my old van--the heater/ac fan works intermitently.

Anyway, Lois does have people from her church that bring meals and stuff, but she really doesn't have as much help as I thought she has. Of course there's my mom, but watching the little ones is pretty draining on her. At this time in people's lives, there is only one other sister who has the time to help her out, driving her places and/or sitting with Lois and helping out with the kids. Jim used to be there more often, but he has just gotten a new job and is quite a drive away, so can't give her as much help as he would have been able, had he still had his shop. (Only problem with having his own shop was it wasn't paying the bills)

Several family members have shaved their heads--three neices and two nephews. One sister has cut her hair short. My hubby wouldn't agree to let Ben shave his head or me cut my hair short, but in a compromise, I got to cut mine to just above the shoulder--that was about 6" off, and Ben will be allowed to get a short cut. I'm making chemo hats for all those cold heads! (thankfully, I had a bunch of fleece and flanel onhand) Isaac still thinks it's too weird. I love the support these kids are giving her. The girls are 10, 11 and 12 years old!!!! Ya know, at that age where looks should matter!! They are my heros!!

If I can figure out how to upload a picture, I'll post one of the hats--they turned out nice. (I have a photobucket account, but when i have tried to post a single picture, it is a link to all my albums stored there! They are generic pictures--a bunch of my animals and kids, but there are a LOT!)

Anyway, I'll keep you all posted--I should have some access to a 'puter while I am in MI--probably while at Lois' house! (She has dial-up, so I won't be able to type as much as this, this took me a LOOOONNNGGG time--some of ya are saying "whew", huh? LOL!)

Thank you so much for all the prayers-- and Lois says thanks too!

Thank you all for the birthday wishes!

Ron-- of course-- SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!!

That's how I share my cake! HAH!

mmm, wait! this cake is REALLY GOOD! STOP THROWING it everyone!

mmm! yum yum . . . chomp chomp! OW!! that was a lit candle!

I 'm sorry it has been so long since I posted. I had to replace my keyboard and we got a REALLY cheap one. the only way I can get it to make capital letters is to hit caps lock, then unlock for the rest of the word. Pain inna hiney. But hubby still doesn't have a job, so, beggars can't be choosey. I wish I could just let myself type in all lower case, with no puncuation!! LOL

Anyway, my time is limited on the 'puter right now, too--I have part-time work, and then I alos have to share my 'puter with hubby and older son--(too much to type out the why, with this stupid keyboard)

Lois is doing well--she has started chemo, she has had the ct scan, but the results aren't in yet as to if there are cancer cells elsewhere. She sends out an updating email to all of us, and she is really cheerful. One thing about my sister-- she's a loveable ditz and makes everything fun, so she's decided her new theme song will be ''No hair for my hairbrush'' (from the Vegie Tales fame).

I've considered pasting some of her updates here, but I guess I need to ask her first! You'd see why she's so loveable!

One of the things I have been praying for is a way to get to MI to help her out, and just to BE with her, and we have that--in a tax return that is bigger than normal since hubby's income was so low last year, so BEn and I will be going up there--I don't know when, cuz I have to call here and find out when is best with her-- she does have a lot of help right now with the little ones.

She'll be doing the chemo for about 6 months and she thinks radiation after that, so there'll be plenty of times she needs help.

Can I ask a stupid question? Several family members up there have either cut their hair really short, or even shaved their heads in support of Lois--both males and females. Lois' image has always been her hair--she's always kept it really long. When I told my hubby and sons, they thought that was crazy--as ''Why would they do something so stupid?'' (hubby's always thought my family weird, and my 14yo son is picking up on that too)

So do ya think that is stupid? Weird? Would you do it for someone you love?

Shellon I sent you a PM.

Thank you all for your prayers. What's bothering me most is not knowing whether this is as serious as I am worried about. I did some web searches and didn't get any answers, really. It all depends on a lot of factors--and I won't know anything til she sends out an email telling us all. (we have 11 siblings and all the grown neices and nephews also, so she writes out an email and sends it to all of us.) She doesn't want us calling her because she's trying to avoid the "C-word" around the six-year-old little girl.

Not knowing is the hardest part--I HAVE to wait til tomorrow and I want answers now! And what i want to hear is, "She''s be alright and live a long and healthy, happy life.

I just heard from my sister-in-law. Lois came through the surgery just fine, and they are keeping her overnight.

The bad news is that it has spread to the lymph nodes. My SIL didn't know to what extent or how serious it is. Obviously she will be going through chemo and probably radiation. I don't know how she is tonight--in her thoughts. It's got to be scary.

It sure is for me--I love my sister and don't want to lose her! Why do we have to be 12 hours away? I want to be there for her.

This is scary.

My sister Lois just learned she has breast cancer. She is having surgery tomorrow to have the breast removed, and it has already spread to the lymph nodes. She's gonna have to have the chemo and then radiation. She is at peace that God is in control here. I'm a bit more of a wreck about it. I don't want to lose her!

She has two foster children, 2 and 6, that she will be caring for during her chemotherapy. They have been getting a lot of offers of help from people in their church--except offers of child care. She is in MI and I am in GA, so I can't help much there. I can head up there and stay with her for a week or two if she needs me--except hubby still doesn't have a job, so going up there would have to be a gift from the Lord. I have a job on Wednesdays, but it wouldn't be enough to get me there and back.

One wonderful praise in this case. They are very poor (he makes 12,000 a year), and they had no medical insurance. But medicaid has a program specifically for breast cancer and all the aftercare, so medical expenses will be covered. They are sooo relieved!

Lois' husband is Jim--please pray for both of them.

Zippie is back! She still doesn't eat well, but I think secretly she's just holding out-- we were FEEDING her-- as in with a spoon! LOL! and she is a Princess. (She waits for us to lift her out of her crate in the morning, begs to be carried up the steps, etc, even when she's well! LOL!)

Anyway, she runs and plays and wags again, she poops and pees and drinks well. I'm nowhere near as worried as i was!

Thanks for the article, Dot. I don't know if I want to feed the cat the meat tenderizer or Accent. I don't think it's good for humans, and since my dogs and cat are all less than 10 lbs, I think it would have to be in REALLY small doses! If I can keep her away from the litter boxes it will cut down on her "treats" to only what she finds in the yard from neighboring cats! (And she has found them-- rolls in 'em! PEEEE-YEWWWW!)

I had switched their food to Solid Gold after her puppy was born, (Cat food was switched too) but after a few bags of it, my hubby wanted me to stop--it's more expensive than the Nutro Ultra we'd been feeding them. Now my hubby wants us to switch to this vet recommended food--Iam's Low-residue. It's more expensive than the Ultra, but less than the Solid Gold. I am gonna have to find out more about the "Low-residue"--will they be missing any nutrients on it? Zippie doesn't like it much, Moses likes it cuz he thinks he's getting away with something by stealing it from her! Gus (the cat) likes it too, when we moisten it! LOL!

Belle, thanks for the homemade food recipe--she likes that better! She went off regular food when she'd had her puppies a year ago, and i think you had suggested the rice and chicken back then, minus the mineral oil. I hope brown rice is okay-- that's what we have onhand. And she DOES get into the cat food- bet that had some bearing on this sickness too!

I have read up on this cat litter eating and she's not gonna stop--she's got the taste for it! So one of the litter boxes is truly secure-- it is in a bathtub in the basement bathroom-- we don't take showers there-- that bathroom is way too cold. The other box upstairs off the kitchen is another ting-- it is barraceded from the dogs, but the cat can jump over to get to it. But it's a matter of time before "Miss Houdini" (Zippie) gets to it--she is an expert at finding new holes out from under the fence--we can never just let her out in the yard by herself. She gets out of the fence and thankfully stands there waiting for us to come get her, rather than running away. She just wants to show us she can get out! Stinker!

Progress report:

I was still pretty concerned about her this morning--she hadn't thrown up, but she wasn't eating--and drank only a tiny bit. No tail-wagging yet, either :unsure: But she did eat the chicken and rice later today--I wouldn't give her much at a time, but I did feed her 3 times-- small bits only. She's still not the voracious eater that she's been. And she still is having trouble when she gets cold, shivering a long time, taking awhile to warm up. BUT! she tried to play with Gus, our kitty this evening, and i saw tail wagging! She was even pestering him a bit, but she wore out quickly. Seeing the tail wagging and the attempt at play has really helped me to be less worried!

Pond--thank you!

I love you! You have a really big heart!!

I totally agree with you about vets! Most vets have become vets because of their love for animals! There are a few unscrupulous ones. We had a run-in with one about eight years ago, and this guy MAY have become a vet because of his love for animals, but it grew into love of money. I guess it's too long of a story, but this guy was evidently unscrupulous enough that he eventually lost his license to practice. My husband latched onto this one bad experience and now lumps all vets with this particular guy.

Besides that, at this point he's pretty hard to reason with--I've been here before with him--this isn't the first time in our marriage he's lost his job and been this long-- and longer in not finding one. He gets pretty hard to live with and will probably be this way til he gets a job again! <_<

Feathers! You're a brat! (don't tell anyone i said this, but good to read you here!

pond, with the head injury, the vet determined it wasn't a serious one, her reflexes were/are good, good range of motion, pupils were good. The litter boxes are up! (One is in an rarely used tub, the other is blocked from the dogs, but we're considering doing away with it-- we only have one cat now, so maybe we don't need two boxes!

Zippie is still not herself. She has puked awhile after she eats, but i don't know if she is keeping any of it down, or if she is loosing everything-- and now that I have been watching for it, I don't think she has pooped in about 36 hours. That COULD be cuz she hasn't kept enough food down to have any waste, but I am getting concerned-- we use clumping cat litter and I am starting to wonder if it has clumped inside her. This isn't gonna go over well with hubby, but i am going to call the vet and see what she thinks as to whether we should be doing anything else. This morning when the boys asked why he didn't like our vet, he explained to them that "All vets play on peoples emotions. . . ", telling them that, in other words, vets are really only after your money, and do unnecessary stuff to your pets. He's already told me that he doesn't think she needs bloodwork. I'm gonna be in a horrible position if she needs to go to the vet again, cuz this may be an obstruction--wouldn't that mean operation? and I know he will never approve that--even if he DID have a job!

Please keep praying!

Sorry I didn't get back til now! Last night I thought i had lost internet connection (come to find out this morning the durn CAT had sat on the wires behind the puter and jiggled the plug for the router loose!) GEESH! Then I had to work this afternoon, so am just getting to the 'puter

My hubby is pretty stressed and absolutely wouldn't even consider the vet last night. I did talk him into it this morning. The vet checked her out thoroughly, and i told her about Zippie being a pukey dog because of getting into the cat box. She leaned more in that direction. As far as I understand, if it WAS a concussion, it was really mild--or maybe just a bad headache. (I'm not good about asking direct questions-- drives my hubby crazy--all i latched onto was that this wasn't a SERIOUS thing).

The vet WAS concerned about the puking, since it is fairly frequent. She wants me to get the cat litter boxes up to counter height and wanted me to feed Zippie a prescription diet for sensitive GI tracts. If that doesn't change things withing a period of time, she wants to do blood work, but she leaned toward it being that Zippie eats the cat poop and litter.

So it looks like all is well. Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement!