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Posts posted by SafariVista

  1. Was Edison an apostle then?

    This just struck my funny bone!

    :biglaugh: The 'new light' Edison brought continues to be thought of as evil in some Amish communities... although, some of these folks are now using a telephone... for some reason, it's okay to have it out by the barn, buy not in the house ?

    As far as Weirwille being an Apostle... After personally meeting him, I'd say he was more of a stalker, not being sent out by anything more than his carnal desires... maybe before 1981 he was something else... but I didn't see evidence of it.

  2. 100%... probably due to our daughter recently taking the driving test... I was the designated 'pre-tester'.

    Seems the 'right lane ending ahead' answer has been corrected... I've never noticed anything but a lane ending after seeing that sign :)

    Driving is one of my favorite things to do... especially if there's good scenery along the way!

    After living in Hawaii for three years... I couldn't WAIT to get out of there... not very many roads... driving around in a circle wasn't for me... :confused:

  3. Incredible!!! Fantastic!!!! Hurray for You CowGirl!!!!


    So, what would something like this go for? Will you get commission, or do you have a license for your 'name', and the store buys them for a certain price from you?

    I find this all very interesting. Always looking for ways to make some money :)

  4. :( I've called them ALL!

    Still haven't found her.... oh where or where can she be!

    David left her for a 'newer model'... she returned to TWI back in the late 90's... she was living w/ some way gals... guess it was Virginia... didn't have her children all the time... it was a sad, sad time...

    Anyone know any more?

  5. Darn... I couldn't take the test either <_<

    Here's the message that appeared after clicking "2006 GMAC Insurance National Drivers Test"...

    Thank you for your interest in the GMAC Insurance National Drivers Test. Due to an overwhelming response of drivers wanting to take the test, we are unable to accommodate you at this time. You will find the questions and answer key, or you are welcome to try to take the test again later, at gmacinsurance.com. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience. We wish you safe travels this holiday weekend!
  6. A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

    Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addresses "To Dad".

    With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands.

    Dear Dad,

    It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

    I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.

    But it's not just the passion, Dad, she's pregnant and Barbara said that we will be very happy together.

    Even though you don't really care for her, as she is much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has enough firewood stacked for the winter.

    She wants to have many more children with me and that's now become one of my dreams, too.

    Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone, and we'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

    In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Barbara can get better. She sure deserves it!

    Don't worry, Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.

    Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

    P.S. Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at a neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the lousy report card that's in my center desk drawer.


    Please call when it's safe to come home.

  7. Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."

    The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors."

    This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."

    No go.

    Next they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics." Thumbs down, again.

    Then came "Manic depressives and Anal Retentives." Still not good.

    How about "Minds and Behinds"? Unacceptable again.

    So they tried "Lost Souls and foot Holes." Still no go.

    Nor did "Analysis and Anal Cysts," "Nuts and Butts," "Freaks and Cheeks," or "Loons and Moons" work either.

    Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with a business slogan they thought might be acceptable to the council:

    "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends."


    Author Unknown

  8. and again.... :wave:

    Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?!

    A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

    Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

    A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

    Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

    A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

    Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

    A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

    Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

    A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.

    Author Unknown

  9. Funny Sayings - Part 2

    I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

    Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

    Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

    Author unknown

  10. Why Learn English? (Part 2)

    Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

    There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

    English muffins weren't invented in England or French Fries in France.

    Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

    We take English for granted. But if we explore its Paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

    And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

    If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

    One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

    Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

    If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

    If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

    Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

    In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

    Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

    Have noses that run and feet that smell?

    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

    You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

    That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

    How about when you want to shut down your computer you have to hit start.

    Author Unknown

  11. Understanding Engineers- Take Five

    The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

    The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?"

    The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

    The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

    Understanding Engineers- Take Six

    Four engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.

    One said, "It was a mechanical engineer, just look at all the joints."

    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

    The third said, "It was obviously a chemical engineer, just think about all the reactions taking place each second in the body."

    The last one said, "You're all wrong, it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

    Understanding Engineers- Take Seven

    Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

    Understanding Engineers- Take Eight

    An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

    He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

    The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

    The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.

    The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

    Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

    Finally, exasperated the frog asked, "What is the matter with you?

    I've told you that I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

    The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

  12. :biglaugh::biglaugh: Very funny SafariVista - is this something you wrote? It's great !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :biglaugh::biglaugh:

    T-Bone, I'm glad you enjoyed this.

    This is not my work, but my style... Making fun of some serious 'stuff' people go through... love the perspective it brings


  13. Software Upgrade

    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and Jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. and now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

    I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?



    Dear Desperate:

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

    Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGH! T YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

    But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly. WAV files.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.

    These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

    You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck,

    Tech! Support

  14. Forget the meat, I want to meet a woman that actually does something around the house.

    Now that I have made that statement I'm waiting for the flames.

    Women please note that there are many men who do lots of things around the house. If you chose to blame men in general be prepared for men to strike back.

    PS. I'm the one who does the cooking, cleaning and shopping. I'm trying for the life of myself to remember why I got married 26 years ago.

    Flame away.

    No kidding! I do all kinds of things around the house... since I like it a 'certain way', things get done... and the kids all know how to pitch in too...

    This is sad to hear... hubby will do things to, but after working 8-12 hours, it seems he's done far more than me... he does like to take over in the kitchen, and weekends he'll give me a break and make something for all of us.. getting the kids involved too...

    What does your wife do ex70's?

    I feel bad for you... :(

  15. Well, after reading here when this topic began, the phrase, 'Just Get Over It' has come up many times during the following weeks.

    Telling someone 'to just get over it' is none of my business. Maybe I said that before...? But for myself, I do need to let certain 'things' go and move on to something better. If not, I'd be miserable.

    This morning I was reading the book 'Get Your Act Together' by Pam Young & Peggy Jones... the 'slob sisters'. They are the authors of 'Sidetracked Home Executives', another enjoyable read. Their ideas have been helpful for our family.

    In the Acknowledgements of Get Your Act Together, the sister's say, "Growing up, we were allowed to be discouraged, depressed, angry, or in a bad mood, but Mom was always there with a timer and we had ten minutes to get through it and get on with life".

    I found this helpful today, and was reminded that IT'S UP TO ME to allow or get rid of thoughts!

    It's up to ME, and no one else...

  16. All very interesting!

    My days have been so busy, living a situation that is far from the norm, success and other topics haven't gotten much thought... life's been about getting the necessities done!

    'TheHighWay's' choice speaks loudly for me:

    Success = self-contentment without harming others

    I have found it to be true, that no matter what is going on in my life, if situations become 'bad' or 'rough' and I let my thoughts go 'South', then it's 'bad' or 'rough'... IF during those 'not so nice' times I keep a positive attitude, I feel better, and the 'bad stuff’ doesn't seem to last very long...

    To keep going, to stay kind and thankful, to accomplish what is set out to do... that would be a successful situation!

  17. So the next evening, when we were allowed to sign up to have a private meeting with Wierwille on the motorcoach, I signed up (still thinking that our opinions actually mattered).

    Where the heck was the man that he needed a stinkin' MOTORCOACH? :realmad:

    No meeting ROOMS? Someone's OFFICE that could have be set up for simple one on one meetings?

    How downright DIRTY and scandalous. How DARE they spend the money GIVEN THEM to care for, on LUXURY FOR THEMSELVES?!?!?!?!, there were plenty of people WITHIN TWI that needed genuine HELP... They were handing out ROCKS to those in need... grrrrrrr :realmad:

    VPW: Aww, I guess they just wanna bless me, is all. Anything else? {end of discussion}

    What a pompous foot!

    I suppose if you would have PUSHED THE ISSUE Shaz, VP's reply would have been DIFFERENT :evildenk:

    As in... 'what is it that you do Mr... ah.. I mean DooktaVeervillie, WHAT is so SERVANT like ABOUT YOU AND YOUR ACTIONS?... please if you would sir, help my unbelief... cause I just don't believe what I'm a seein' here?!?!?!"

    Luckily, I was not so "blessed," I was just ignored.

    Good for you, you got the H3LL outa there.... IDIOTS!

    This just makes me Mad!

  18. I was at the library today and ran into an old friend. She & I hung out as teenagers, and we have mutual friends.

    Anyway, Lynn asked me if I was still with the Way, and if I knew Gelina Mock. I told her that I was not and had not been for over 10 years and I did not know Gelina.

    Gelina lived in Henderson KY years ago and worked at a local bank where Lynn worked. Lynn said the last time she heard from Gelina was about 10 years ago and she thinks that she was in Colorado at the time.

    I told Lynn that I would post this request for her.

    Can anyone help???

    Hey! We worked with Bob & Gelina Mock at Gunnison for a couple of weeks. What an awesome couple! I LOVE those people!

    Let's see, that was in the late 90's... 98 maybe? Hubby would know the dates for sure... but close to that time.

    They had a little girl, cute & tiny :) Then they were expecting another, and moved to another city in Colorado I believe... There is a card from them in a box downstairs... can't get to that right now... sorry...

    There are 7 Robert Mock's listed in Colorado for the Yahoo People Search~

    Hope you find them!

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