Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

Are Way people smarter than a 5th grader?


Thomas Loy Bumgarner
 Share

Recommended Posts

Time to play another game show based on former TWI leaders. If you loved The Weakest Link and Deal or No Deal, now comes Jeff Foxworthy testing VPW, LCM on whether they are smarter than a 5th grader on secular subjects such as spelling, history, math, science, geography, etc. Somehow I think both would flunk and lose any money(even if they "peeked " at grade school kids answers) and be embarrassed by saying "I am not smarter than a fifth grader". Now that would be fun! :biglaugh: Anyone want start this? Last couple times I did the whole thing.

Edited by Thomas Loy Bumgarner
Link to comment
Share on other sites

JF: And now let us meet our next contestant. He attended New Knoxville Elementary school, let's welcome Victor Paul Wierwille. VPW: Jeff, I know you are a redneck, but does that make me one too? JF:From what I heard, Vic from your detractors, the answer is yes. Now, you know the rules. We have 5 adorable brats, I mean kids to help you out. So, who do you want to chose? VPW: How about Spencer? Hey boy, you interested in being president of a major Biblical Research and teaching ministry? S: No thanks, to much hard work and no fun. JF: Vic, which grade and subject?

VPW: How about Koine Greek spelling for 1st grade? JF: Sorry Victor, that isn't one of the topics.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JF: Try picking a subject that's part of the catergories. VPW: I like math. How about 3rd grade Bullinger's Numbers in Scripture? S: Where is he getting these nonsense things? JF: Maybe I should call you Vicky. VPW: Watch it, queer. I don't care if you are a millionaire with those redneck albums. I know the truth about you and Larry the cable guy. JF: Just like Craig and Donna Martindale. We need to go to a commercial and get me some asprin, please. S: Jerk! Annoncer: More of "Are Way leaders smarter than a 5th grader?" when and if we come back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jeff Foxworthy: Please Victor, choose a reasonable topic. VPW: ok, quit your whining. 1st grade science. By the way, any relationship to Rosie the Fox? JF: God I hope not. Here's your question for $1000. Darwin rejected creationism. True of False? Spencer has locked in his answer. The others like Kyle, Jacob, Alana and Marki have also completed there answers, and yes completely absolutely totally completed in writing down there answers. VPW: Is that from the Greek or Aramaic? JF: I don't care! VPW: I am going to say true. JF: Well Spencer and everyone else said false, but you got $1000 because of your save. Time to choose another classmate. VPW: How about that cute blonde Marki? How about in ten years visiting my bus, darling? M: Watch it pervert or I'll get Dateline's Chris Hansen on your case, or America's top 10 wanted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JF: Please, this is a family show. VPW: 5th grade world history. JF: What did the council of Nicea in 313 AD discuss as the topic and who was the emperor? Marki has locked in her answer. VPW: I am going to say that Constantine was emperor and the topic was about the heresy of Jesus Christ being God in human flesh and there being a trinity, and I am locking in my answer. JF: Believe it or not, regardless of your theology you just won $5000. Who are your supporters with you? VPW: My son Donnie, wife Dotsie. JF: Time to choose another classmate. VPW: How about Jacob? That's a good Biblical name. Reminds me of a young Craig Martindale before going to OSU(Oklahoma State University). J: I think I just been insulted. Meet me after this show for a fight on the school ground, punk. JF: Now don't lower yourself to his level.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

VPW: Enough of this pussyfooting around and no I did not mean to use a double entendre there.

JF: Choose another subject. VPW: 2nd grade grammar. JF: Name the different cases used. Jacob has locked in his answers. VPW: I am going to use my peek. JF: Jacob said nomative, genetive, and accussative. VPW: I am going with his answer. JF: You just won $10,000. VPW: I am going to stop, drop-out and say "I am not smarter than a stupid 5th grader". JF: Thank God, because I was just about to have a major migraine and have to ask Fox for a three month vacation/sabbattical from this gameshow. Bye all. (Title Music) Are you smarter than a 5th grader? I've got my pencil and eraser.....(Music trails off). Turning the channel to Fox News. Annoucer:coming up next is Hannity and Colmes with substitute host L.L. Craig Martindale filling in for Sean Hannity.

Edited by Thomas Loy Bumgarner
Link to comment
Share on other sites

AC: Good evening. I'm Alan Colmes. Sean Hannity is tonight rooming with Oliver North and Michael Reagan in Belleview(please no Belle jokes). Joining us is former PREZ of Der Weg Multinational is our own version of LL Kool, Craig Martindale. CM: Say Alan, is that devil-possessed bitch Ann Coulter one of our guests tonite? My ex would love to hook up with her. AC: ah, no exactly. She's not scelduled for tonight. Didn't you have a major ranting and bloviating contest with Bill O'Reiley earlier this evening? CM: I just said he was the most riddiculous thing of the day and he threatened to punch out my lights. Security had to arrest MR. O'Reiley when he called them jerks and threatened to sue Rupert Murdock and Roger Ailes for firing him instantly on the air. AC: Weren't you suppose to appear on the gameshow "Are Way Leaders smarter than a 5th Grader?" CM: I know for a fact that Jeff Foxworth is devil possessed and I wasn't going to waste my time with those brats from hell.

Edited by Thomas Loy Bumgarner
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

(commercial) Head-on for headaches, a homeopathic remedy. LCM: Did someone say homo? Head-on, I hate your commercial and despise your product. Why don't you give it to that lizzard and caveman from Gekko, I mean Geico since they need it more than me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jeff Foxworthy: Our next contestant is a former school teacher from Greenville,North Carolina. Please welcome Rosylyn Fox Rivenbark, aka known as Rosie the Riveter to her life partner Donna Martindale. RFR: Time for me to prevail against these little brats. I chose Alana. JF: Which subject?

RFR: 1st grade grammar. JF: Oh, I'm sorry but we are out of time. Annoucer: Next week, see Dr. "Dean" Don Wierwille if he is smarter than a fifth grader. Theme song plays.(Let's hope Fox network doesn't sue me for infringement or Plagarism). :biglaugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Hi, I'm Ed Saunders(brit game show and infomercial host) with National Bingo Night. Is there a Don Wierwille here? It's the red, white and blue 4th of July cards from K-Mart and we are playing even or odd(typical for TWIts visiting here). Mr. Commissioner, is there a bingo with these 300 ex-wayfers. Commissioner(who looks like Sangrit or what's his name from India): Believe it or not, everyone has bingo. ES: Sorry Dean Don, looks like TWI and gang is going have to fold and turn over all its ABS to all the audience.

Edited by Thomas Loy Bumgarner
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...