blue light special

[cheranne]

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will...

After Mr. and Mrs. Taylor retired, Mrs. Taylor insisted her

husband accompany her on her trips to K -Mart. Unfortunately, Mr.

Taylor was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to

get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Taylor was like most

women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Taylor received the following

letter from her local K -Mart.

Dear Mrs. Taylor,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing

quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and

may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints

against Mr. Taylor are listed below and are documented by our video

surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put

them in peoples' carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go

off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor

leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an

official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a

bag of M&M's on lay-a-way.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a

carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department

and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring

pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help

him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and

used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting

department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously

while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his

"Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people

browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES

AGAIN!"

And last, but not least.

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the

door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet

paper in here!"

Regards,

K-Mart Management & Security

________________________________

[RottieGrrrl]

HEY! Stop talking about my dad! :)

[Steveo]

Lol thats good stuff

[JeffSjo]

Thanks Oklahoma City Wow 78,

Very funny and the man was so much more imaginative than I ever was even though I've OFTEN been bored while shopping.