Golly! I was a wow in Peoria in 83-84. We took a lovely new girl to the ROA. She and I were roomies--I was her maid of honor in her '85 wedding...sound familiar??
I don't know if this will help your or not, but I have found it is easier for me not to get so mad about the control and manipulation both twi and my hubby had me under, when I also look at what kind of person I was to allow this to continue happening to me?
This isn't an exercise in guilt or shame or anything, just a very objective look at the truth of things in order for me to get the right perspective:
They were egotistical fools and they were evil. I was gullable and needy and loyal to a fault. This is a bad combination so bad things happened. Now I am stronger and they are even bigger fools.
There is absolutely nothing I can do to influence or change them so I had to forgive myself for no longer trying. There is absolutely nothing I can do to alter my history with them so I had to forgive myself for letting it happen in the first place. My ex was/is even needier than I was and so I can forgive him because it's really kinda sad. And I am re-learning that God is bigger than any group of evil men, and so I am beginning to be thankful again, that at least they did teach me more about God as a father, and how to get around in my Bible than any other church I've ever attended.
And so I ask you: exactly what are you looking to forgive?
Thank you, 'HighWay, I am glad you wrote. I never thought about what kind of person I was to be so gullible and open to exploitation. You are right, we are out and stronger, twi is now a bigger fool.
I guess I need to forgive myself for letting it happen in the first place. Hmm, that does help. Funny I never gave thought to it quite that way.... I did learn things from the whole experience, and have a deeper connection with God as a result.
I forgive me. I am blessed. I'm free. Thanks God!
Thanks to all of you. I'm so glad I'm a part of the Family of God.
I'm so glad what I wrote was helpful. It was a cumulation of a lot of thought and a lot of people's input over the past two years.
I've just found that shouldering responsibility for my part makes me less of a victim, and so helps me feel less helpless and angry about things. It most certainly doesn't absolve those who did evil from what they did... they caused myself and loads of others a great deal of harm!! But the truth is, I was (unfortunately) an active participant and made bad decisions and hopefully I have learned a lot (even if it was the hard way) and won't ever let it happen again.
I was human... I blew it... I forgive me.
It took a long time for me to finally wake up and admit all that. But once I did, it put me in the driver's seat again. And that's a WONDERFUL place to be!!
[This message was edited by TheHighWay on July 24, 2002 at 9:27.]
When I took PFAL I thought God had beamed down on me a "special" blessing. I felt like a highly-favored human in the pool of mankind. Now, I know I spent years being manipulated and used.
Today, I live by "common sense' realizing that no one religion or ministry has ALL the answers. Follow your heart and do what blesses you in this life.
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Kay1952
Your time with twi seems to be kinda like mine.
Forgiveness is a treat, when you can forgive with an open heart.
It gets easier as time passes--really it does!
Kay
Kay1952
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Nightmelody
Golly! I was a wow in Peoria in 83-84. We took a lovely new girl to the ROA. She and I were roomies--I was her maid of honor in her '85 wedding...sound familiar??
You can email me at nightmelody@hotmail.com
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TheHighWay
IRead,
I don't know if this will help your or not, but I have found it is easier for me not to get so mad about the control and manipulation both twi and my hubby had me under, when I also look at what kind of person I was to allow this to continue happening to me?
This isn't an exercise in guilt or shame or anything, just a very objective look at the truth of things in order for me to get the right perspective:
They were egotistical fools and they were evil. I was gullable and needy and loyal to a fault. This is a bad combination so bad things happened. Now I am stronger and they are even bigger fools.
There is absolutely nothing I can do to influence or change them so I had to forgive myself for no longer trying. There is absolutely nothing I can do to alter my history with them so I had to forgive myself for letting it happen in the first place. My ex was/is even needier than I was and so I can forgive him because it's really kinda sad. And I am re-learning that God is bigger than any group of evil men, and so I am beginning to be thankful again, that at least they did teach me more about God as a father, and how to get around in my Bible than any other church I've ever attended.
And so I ask you: exactly what are you looking to forgive?
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IRead
Thank you, 'HighWay, I am glad you wrote. I never thought about what kind of person I was to be so gullible and open to exploitation. You are right, we are out and stronger, twi is now a bigger fool.
I guess I need to forgive myself for letting it happen in the first place. Hmm, that does help. Funny I never gave thought to it quite that way.... I did learn things from the whole experience, and have a deeper connection with God as a result.
I forgive me. I am blessed. I'm free. Thanks God!
Thanks to all of you. I'm so glad I'm a part of the Family of God.
In JC,
IRead
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TheHighWay
IRead...
I'm so glad what I wrote was helpful. It was a cumulation of a lot of thought and a lot of people's input over the past two years.
I've just found that shouldering responsibility for my part makes me less of a victim, and so helps me feel less helpless and angry about things. It most certainly doesn't absolve those who did evil from what they did... they caused myself and loads of others a great deal of harm!! But the truth is, I was (unfortunately) an active participant and made bad decisions and hopefully I have learned a lot (even if it was the hard way) and won't ever let it happen again.
I was human... I blew it... I forgive me.
It took a long time for me to finally wake up and admit all that. But once I did, it put me in the driver's seat again. And that's a WONDERFUL place to be!!
[This message was edited by TheHighWay on July 24, 2002 at 9:27.]
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HappyGay
When I took PFAL I thought God had beamed down on me a "special" blessing. I felt like a highly-favored human in the pool of mankind. Now, I know I spent years being manipulated and used.
Today, I live by "common sense' realizing that no one religion or ministry has ALL the answers. Follow your heart and do what blesses you in this life.
Perhaps you ned to search for "you" now.
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