Shellon -- good points, but I seldom get mad, unless I see an injustice being done. Certainly there are times I feel *threatened*, or at times things are out of *my* control, however (after reading what you had to say), I see that I get most irritated when injustice is done to others, when I have no control over the situation, and it does not affect me personally.
Maybe Dr. Phil is offering a *generic* solution to what we all feel at times, without being specific. After all -- it is just a tv show, and he is looking for ratings, just like Oprah.
What he said may make sense, but not to me. It may be applicable to some, but certainly not to all.
Wonder how he would have categorized Jesus' anger, at the money-changers in the Temple? -->
"Ever notice how our "way brain" wants us to make someone the villian so we can sleep better at night knowing who to blame?
It is so much easier thinking, it will never happen to me if we can find the true perp to blame. We love righteous anger still, don't we?
Maybe someday we can accept that bad things just happen, when there is no bad guy and where each choice can be the right choice and still be the wrong choice...depending on what experiences you are using to make that call.
Maybe someday we will start to let others off the hook and just be grateful for the choices we were not forced to make that day..."
We love to use the 'Jesus got angry" stance as justification for this un-Jesus like behavior. I don't presume to understand that scripture, but I also know I have yet to meet someone who has the wisdom and clarity of Jesus. AND when or if we do reach that pinnacle in this lifetime, maybe then we can bandy about our righteous indignation. I have a feeling though, that if we do reach that point...all righteous anger will be replaced with immeasurable compassion...
Shellon -- good points, but I seldom get mad, unless I see an injustice being done. Certainly there are times I feel *threatened*, or at times things are out of *my* control, however (after reading what you had to say), I see that I get most irritated when injustice is done to others, when I have no control over the situation, and it does not affect me personally.
I think that you really are most affected than...it is your own personal set of values! Without realizing it consciously in your mind...it's something deep down.
I wonder if those things that happen "under the covers" so to speak...which affect us most!
I used to admire "mellow" people those that always seemed to live in a snail pace and acted very peaceful in situations I would react in outrage.
then I learned something, on this forum actualy and for me it was life changing. I forgot who said it or what it was concerning but the poster said, something like it seems the less concerned we are about something the easier it happens. Or that is what I learned anyway and it struck a fabulous nerve with me.
now when I want to get angry I just give up, if I have done all that I can do, or if the situation is deemed helpless at the time, I give it up. I walk away in my mind. maybe to revist later, maybe (n fact most times) not to be revisted.
then when peace returns I can see a different angle and often the "other side" and think about how I should or more important shouldnt handle it .
I do not think IM a control freak although Im surrounded by lots of folks who have the answers for everything and how to fix life in general, to me they are anxious and irrated most of the time and unattractive to find solutions anyways.
children can do it to me to, but as they got older and grew up I realized they must also learn how to handle disappointment and stress of life and the best thing I can do is stay mello and show them that MOST of it does not really matter anyways.
I have really made a list of what I need in life and very high on the list is the ability to let go and let God. I do confront injustice when I have to, but then I allow the chips to fall where they may and truly move on and forget about it. Life is to short to worry or be afraid I do not think Im afraid anymore of anything really, my children say nothing bothers me , which bothrs me. Working with the public for over forty years has taught me how to "fake" no matter how ....ed off I am . I often pray and try to learn why this would bother me so much, and then work on why I would have such strong feelings over it.
I just had a session with my counselor (yep, I do go to one) this past week and anger was one of the dominant themes. She said that anger is more a physical response than an emotion. When we are angry, we usually feel it somewhere in our body. (I usually feel anger as a hot coal in my chest, tightness in my throat and as pressure and heat in my face.) Moreover, anger is energy. It has been hard wired in our bodies as a part of the fight or flight response. My counselor pointed out that if she came home and found an intruder, she would certainly hope and pray that she would be angry so she would have the energy she needs to defend herself.
The critical issue surrounding anger is how we deal with it and how we use it's energy.
My counselor asked me how do I want to use that energy. Almost immediately I answered to find work in which I more fully employ the gifts that God has given me and to find the courage to connect with people.
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dmiller
Shellon -- good points, but I seldom get mad, unless I see an injustice being done. Certainly there are times I feel *threatened*, or at times things are out of *my* control, however (after reading what you had to say), I see that I get most irritated when injustice is done to others, when I have no control over the situation, and it does not affect me personally.
Maybe Dr. Phil is offering a *generic* solution to what we all feel at times, without being specific. After all -- it is just a tv show, and he is looking for ratings, just like Oprah.
What he said may make sense, but not to me. It may be applicable to some, but certainly not to all.
Wonder how he would have categorized Jesus' anger, at the money-changers in the Temple?
-->
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shazdancer
"...being grieved for the hardness of their hearts..."
Shaz
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krys
Shaz - I think you nailed it!
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karmicdebt
I wrote on the Terri died thread:
"Ever notice how our "way brain" wants us to make someone the villian so we can sleep better at night knowing who to blame?
It is so much easier thinking, it will never happen to me if we can find the true perp to blame. We love righteous anger still, don't we?
Maybe someday we can accept that bad things just happen, when there is no bad guy and where each choice can be the right choice and still be the wrong choice...depending on what experiences you are using to make that call.
Maybe someday we will start to let others off the hook and just be grateful for the choices we were not forced to make that day..."
We love to use the 'Jesus got angry" stance as justification for this un-Jesus like behavior. I don't presume to understand that scripture, but I also know I have yet to meet someone who has the wisdom and clarity of Jesus. AND when or if we do reach that pinnacle in this lifetime, maybe then we can bandy about our righteous indignation. I have a feeling though, that if we do reach that point...all righteous anger will be replaced with immeasurable compassion...
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krys
I think that you really are most affected than...it is your own personal set of values! Without realizing it consciously in your mind...it's something deep down.
I wonder if those things that happen "under the covers" so to speak...which affect us most!
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mj412
I used to admire "mellow" people those that always seemed to live in a snail pace and acted very peaceful in situations I would react in outrage.
then I learned something, on this forum actualy and for me it was life changing. I forgot who said it or what it was concerning but the poster said, something like it seems the less concerned we are about something the easier it happens. Or that is what I learned anyway and it struck a fabulous nerve with me.
now when I want to get angry I just give up, if I have done all that I can do, or if the situation is deemed helpless at the time, I give it up. I walk away in my mind. maybe to revist later, maybe (n fact most times) not to be revisted.
then when peace returns I can see a different angle and often the "other side" and think about how I should or more important shouldnt handle it .
I do not think IM a control freak although Im surrounded by lots of folks who have the answers for everything and how to fix life in general, to me they are anxious and irrated most of the time and unattractive to find solutions anyways.
children can do it to me to, but as they got older and grew up I realized they must also learn how to handle disappointment and stress of life and the best thing I can do is stay mello and show them that MOST of it does not really matter anyways.
I have really made a list of what I need in life and very high on the list is the ability to let go and let God. I do confront injustice when I have to, but then I allow the chips to fall where they may and truly move on and forget about it. Life is to short to worry or be afraid I do not think Im afraid anymore of anything really, my children say nothing bothers me , which bothrs me. Working with the public for over forty years has taught me how to "fake" no matter how ....ed off I am . I often pray and try to learn why this would bother me so much, and then work on why I would have such strong feelings over it.
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oenophile
Anger...
I just had a session with my counselor (yep, I do go to one) this past week and anger was one of the dominant themes. She said that anger is more a physical response than an emotion. When we are angry, we usually feel it somewhere in our body. (I usually feel anger as a hot coal in my chest, tightness in my throat and as pressure and heat in my face.) Moreover, anger is energy. It has been hard wired in our bodies as a part of the fight or flight response. My counselor pointed out that if she came home and found an intruder, she would certainly hope and pray that she would be angry so she would have the energy she needs to defend herself.
The critical issue surrounding anger is how we deal with it and how we use it's energy.
My counselor asked me how do I want to use that energy. Almost immediately I answered to find work in which I more fully employ the gifts that God has given me and to find the courage to connect with people.
How will you use your anger?
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