choosing a wife ..

[s a m i]

CHOOSING A WIFE

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among

three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000

and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon

gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and

dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done

this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new

set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some

expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that

she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several

times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the

remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save

for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with

the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

(Men are like that, you know.)

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today

than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population

with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection

of what to do with them!!!

[Brother Speed]

Johnny asked his teacher a riddle. He said there were three women eating icecream cones on a picnic bench. One was licking the icecream, another was sucking the icecream, the last was chewing the icecream.

He asked his teacher which woman she thought was married. His teacher thought and thought and finally said the one sucking the icecream.

Johnny said 'No, she's the one wearing the wedding ring. But I like the way you think.

[dmiller]

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Looks like he was the biggest *boob*. :lol:

[ex70sHouston]

In my vast learned experience he should have looked at there mothers.

Yes there mothers. What there moms look like now is a good idea what they will look like in 20 years.

Lets face it. We all marry beautiful women. Its just scary what they look like in 20 & 30 years later.

[jetc57]

ex70shouston -- I take alittle stand against that one.....

I DO NOT LOOK LIKE MY MOTHER DID WHEN SHE WAS 48.

She has been a cronic smoker and has aged beyond her years. Her attitude was always negative, and I never saw her smile, or heard her laugh. At 48 she looked like 68, now at 73 she looks like 93+.

If you are referring to 'weight', Perhaps the men, too, have changed just as the women.

Its not always so 'cut n dry'.

I think in aging for men and women, ones 'attitude' plays a big role in the way one looks and feels.

I don't see how you can judge someone by how their mother looked.

What's that saying "Take a check up from the neck up"?

Here's another one: "Be nice to people on your way up, or you might meet them on your way down".

And, my personal favorite: "Beauty is skin deep". Man looks on the outward appearance, God looks on the heart. Our bodies are a product of an imperfect world. One day we will all look truly beautiful.

Wouldn't you just laugh if one day God told you that, those whom we've all judged as 'ugly', were really 'beautiful'. What if the 'WORLD' has it all wrong? :blink:

Edited October 19, 2005 by jetc57

[Brother Speed]

Wouldn't you just laugh if one day God told you that, those whom we've all judged as 'ugly', were really 'beautiful'. What if the 'WORLD' has it all wrong? :blink:

Yeah Jet. Why did Julia Roberts marry Lyle Lovett anyway? They both are extremely wealthy in their own right.

That reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode where Donna Douglas (Ellie Mae from the tv series The Beverly Hillbillies) is surrounded by 'ugly' but she believes that she is ugly and that they are beautiful. So she's having plastic surgery to look as they do. The surgery doesn't work, so she's relocated to an area where she can be accepted with the other "unfortunate ugly" ones.

[jetc57]

I'm a long and loyal fan of "The Twilight Zone", that one surely must have been engrained in my mind.

ROFLOL. :blink:

[Brother Speed]

My sister-in-law has a wood-carved plaque that's inscribed "FAT is only DEEP SKIN" :lol:

[Sushi]

And,

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly's to the bone"

[ex70sHouston]

What I look for in women is a lack of ugly.

Outer beauty fades but the inner beauty stays.

A beautiful woman on the inside stays a beautiful woman.

When it gets down to it I have seen some ugly women.

[jetc57]

Perhaps we (most ladies out there - me included) need a guys defination of Inner Ugly vs Inner Beauty. In case I have it wrong. I'm thinking most guys think a woman needs to be a 'Barbie Doll', with a 'beautiful mind and heart'. Now isn't THAT the perfect combo?

As with all 'humans' I think there is 'confidence' and then 'arrogance' (over confidence.).

Moderation is always Best. I admire people who are confident in themselves, their abilities, and yet not too arrogant to see the wonderful things about others.

So guys care to further explain 'ugly'? :blink:

[Brother Speed]

Brother Speed's definition of 'inner ugliness' of a woman includes but is not limited to:

. engages in emotional outbursts more than saying 'I love you'

. has all the personality of a dial tone

. cannot boil water without burning it

. is more fridgid and less comforting than an icecube

. has no sense of humor

. thinks gifts on holidays are more important than the holidays themselves

. selfish is her middle name

. instead of a perma-grin, she has a perma-scowl

[Morgan]

Perhaps as with outer beauty, inner beauty is also in the eye of the beholder.