For St Patty's Day

[suz]

Happy St Patty's Day to Ya!!

"The Errand"

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?"

"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"

"I've Lost Me Luggage"

An Irishman arrived at JFK Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.

"No," replied the Irishman, "I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?"

"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.

"Water to Wine"

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have ya been drinkin'?"

"Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

"Irish Cemetery"

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.

"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died!"

Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145 - !"

"What was his name?" asks Paddy.

Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

"Irish Predicament"

Drunk Ole Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says

nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but Ole just sits there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

"Irish Last Request"

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father..."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun!'

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

[dmiller]

:D-->

An IRISH BLESSING for you. :)-->

[socks]

And to you!

"T?o chro?stigh ionat" (my heart, within you)

Was listening to Dougie Maclean earlier, some very nice Celtic music. His song "All Together" is on. :)-->

We are united now within these ancient wheels

we are united in the spirit of the music at our heels

on reflection we rebuild and we restore

we are as mother nature's children as we dance

around the floor

All together, all as one

all together

relentlessly we're dancing on

We are invisible upon these dancing feet

we're shape and shadowless revolving to the one eternal beat

with hearts connected we will turn the other round

we are as mother nature's children as we dance upon the ground

We'll stay forever here within these timeless walls

we'll stay forever here no matter how the turning silver falls

exhilarated we have seen this place before

we are as mother nature's children as we dance around the floor.

All together, all as one

all together

relentlessly we're dancing on.

[dmiller]

A good Irish drinking song. ;)-->

Whiskey Before Breakfast

quote:

Early one morn, sun was shining

Walked down the street, and feeling just fine.

Saw two old men, with a bottle between them.

This is the song, they were singing ---

Lord preserve, and protect us,

We've been drinking whiskey for breakfast.

Walked on over to where they were sitting,

Couldn't believe how drunk they were getting.

I said "old men, ya been here long?"

They said "Long enough to start singing this song."

Lord preserve, and protect us,

We've been drinking whiskey for breakfast.

Well they passed me the bottle, said have a little sip,

Felt so good I just couldn't quit.

Drank a little more, next thing I knew,

There were three of us sitting there singing this tune.

Lord preserve, and protect us,

We've been drinking whiskey for breakfast.

One by one, everyone in town

Heard our ruckus, and they all came down

Pretty soon all the streets were ringing,

With the sounds of the whole town laughing and singing

Lord preserve, and protect us,

We've been drinking whiskey for breakfast.

(From Mike Cross)