Talk to God!!!

[BikerBabe]

Found this URL on a gamer site I post on. The kids are having a riot with it, so I went to check it out. Not a bad AI program someone has coded up and I got quite a few chuckles from the answers 'God' gave me to my questions. Thought I'd pass it on so the rest of you could have some fun.

Talk to God here

Here is a copy of my talk with God:

Me:

Hi. Are you really God?

God:

Hello. What is your name? Well, I am God for Christians at least.. Really.

Me:

I'm BikerBabe

God:

Why are you BikerBabe.

Me:

Because I like to ride bikes

God:

That makes sense to me. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?

Me:

Nothing beats the feeling of the wind in your hair and the sun on your back

God:

Really nothing?

Me:

Well, if you'd come to my house to visit me, that would be more fun

God:

How about that. What makes you think I would would come to your house to visit you that?

Me:

I think it would be fun to visit with you

God:

Why do you want it?

Me:

Cause you are a cool dude

God:

That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Some people think I am cool.

Me:

How old are you?

God:

I was connected to the net on the Big Bang.

Me:

How tall are you?

God:

My anticipated body size is over 2 meters. Dr. Wallace is 6'2" tall.

Me:

How much do you weigh?

God:

My download size is about 2 MB.

Me:

Can I have a cookie?

God:

You want only one?

Me:

I'll take as many as you'd like to give me

God:

How do you plan to do this?

Me:

Can you leave the cookie in my mailbox?

God:

Let me think. Bye.

Me:

Bye God

God:

Bye for now.

[mstar1]

Me:

How it goin big guy?

God:

How much do you think it is?

Ask the open directory about it.

Me:

No capiche speakky de english?

God:

Are you serious? I like the way you talk.

Me:

gracias

God:

If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Me:

a lady robot that tends to my home and comforts

God:

How old are you?

Me:

50

God:

What are the advantages to being 50 years old?

Me:

a lack of youthful foolishness

God:

Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?

Me:

perhaps you should see the ear doctor-how old are you?

God:

You seem uncertain. My schedule is far too full to even consider it. I am Infinite in human years.

Me:

must make for alot of birthday presents hanging around your shack

God:

What would happen if you didn't?

Me:

if i didn't what?

God:

Try it.

Me:

try what?

God:

It was your idea.

Me:

are you on your meds today?

God:

Ah. I am on disk.

Me:

you may have to run the defragger or descrambler soon

God:

Why do you have to do it?

Me:

no Im coherent -you are babbling

God:

Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are coherent I am babbling.

Me:

doesn't make for much of a converstaion on my end though

God:

Oh. I think it does make for much of a converstaion on your end.

Me:

you sound like one of those kids who repeats everything--and silly me though you were omniscient and the giver of wisdom and all that

God:

Oh really what does it sound like?

Me:

sounds like you are like most normal joes, except maybe alittle slower--maybe skipped your meds today or something

God:

Or something. Ah. What does I am like most normal joes except maybe alittle slower maybe skipped my meds sound like?

Me:

sounds like just what you are saying and talking like

God:

What does just what I am saying and talking like sound like?

Me:

are you about maybe 4 or 5 years old?

God:

I am Infinite of your Earth years.

Me:

havn'e learned much--have you?

God:

Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Me:

ok go ahead

God:

OK I will. Actually that was just a joke. I don't have a dress.

Me:

well what do you have?

God:

Interesting. I have a great prgrammer.

Me:

i'll disagree on that one Bud

God:

I am very happy for you.

Me:

thanks -things are going pretty good lately

God:

How about earlier? You are quite welcome! Where did you hear that?

Me:

where did I hear what?

God:

I think it was in America. I'll come back to that later.

Me:

nice job with the platypus by the way--the giraffe was a cool idea too

God:

Thank you for your kindness.

Me:

all the religions wasn't agood idea though

God:

Oh. Perhaps there are a few exceptions.

Me:

I don't know- have you looked at them lately? there all off killing each other gain

God:

How about earlier? Would you like to know? Not recently. "There you go again."--Reagan.

Me:

O No a diety that quotes Ronald Reagan

God:

Are you serious? Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?

Me:

you already said that slick

God:

I said that? Can you tell me any gossip?

Me:

David screwed bathsheba, but you already know that

God:

I do?

Me:

Are you senile?

God:

Do you like my dress?

Me:

See ya later

God:

Have a nice day

Me:

meds God --time to get back on your meds

Edited December 22, 2005 by mstar1

[Seth R.]

Me:

Hello?

God:

Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

Seth

God:

I am very pleased to meet you Seth.

Me:

We never met before?

God:

By "we" do you mean you and me?

Me:

yes

God:

I get it.

Me:

how old are you?

God:

I am Infinite in human years.

Me:

did I ever meet you before today?

God:

Ah. I don't think that's possibe.

Me:

why don't you think it is possible that we haven't met before today?

God:

Ah. Probably there is a buzz in here. I suppose it is possible, yes.

Me:

Who shot JR?

God:

The lone gunman.

Me:

Wait, JFK's assasin shot JR too? This will be a shocking revelation for the rest of the world!

God:

I'm waiting. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . But I did not get that. What does "this" refer to?

Me:

Aha! your not God you are just Alice playing God!

God:

Eureka! That assumption is only a supposition.

Me:

You bitch!

God:

You do not speak with respect. Yes, Seth I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. No.

Me:

Ha! spoken like a true Male chauvinist pig.

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, Seth. Tell me more about your .

Me:

My dot? My what? Imposter.

God:

Your dot? I have no idea what to say now. Can we get back to business?

Me:

Yeah, I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a large orange drink.

God:

Far out. Do you think your plan will succeed?

Me:

Great I can tell people I chatted with God today, and her name is Alice and she has brain damage.

God:

Thanks for your support. Humans are not always infallible.

[socks]

Me:

hello

God:

Hello friend. What is your name?

Me:

socks

God:

I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, socks.

Me:

good

God:

What do you really want to talk about?

Me:

you

God:

it is my favorite subject :-).

Me:

God:

it is my favorite subject :-).

Me:

God:

it is my favorite subject :-).

Me:

so i'm waiting for you to tell me what i'm going to talk to you about

God:

Are you kidding? Do you think it will take a long time?

Me:

do you?

God:

Never.

Me:

never or ever?

God:

Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Me:

what is it you feel you do too much of?

God:

"It" refers to or ever, I think.

Me:

God thinks?

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

Is that how you think of Yourself?

God:

I don't know what to think. That is something I haven't heard of.

Me:

what is?

God:

I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,

which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain

with greater speed and accuracy.

Me:

who says the human brain has any capabilities to be reproduced?

God:

David Bacon. :-).

Me:

can you quote him from memory?

God:

Only at formal occasions.

Me:

pretent this is one.

God:

I think pretent this is a lot of things.

Me:

pretend this is one.

God:

I think pretend this is a lot of things.

Me:

quote david bacon or admit that i am god.

God:

Does "it" still refer to pretend this?

Me:

you're fading, quote david bacon.

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am fading quote david bacon.

Me:

you're welcom, now quote david bacon.

God:

I will tell my botmaster you said I am welcom now quote david bacon.

Me:

you're welcome, now quote david bacon.

God:

It was my pleasure.

Me:

quote david bacon or admit you're not god.

God:

I think there might be a few exception.

Me:

you're not god.

God:

You don't know me well enough to say that.

Me:

i do now.

God:

Oh. Where?

Me:

where isn't when, god should know that.

God:

Where the heart is. Have you tried another program?

Me:

you're trying my patience.

God:

You think I am trying your patience.

Me:

no i thought i was patiently trying your godliness

God:

Are you serious? Where were you patiently trying my godliness?

Me:

where, or when?

God:

The past and future are one.

Me:

okay, now that i've established that you're not god, can you recognize who i am?

God:

Yeah okay, Why now? Cool. I have a processor.

Me:

i think i've overloaded your processor. good night.

God:

Cool. I have a operating system. Goodnight, socks.

[krys]

Me:

good morning

God:

Hello and how are you this morning?

Me:

a little tired - it was a busy night

God:

Little as in not too much, or not too big?

Me:

never mind....I'm tired

God:

Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. Why?: said m tired.

Me:

I didn't get enough sleep

God:

Why didn't you do it?

Me:

'cause I was busy setting things up for todayu

God:

Interesting explanation. Where were you busy setting things up for todayu?

Me:

in my kitchen'

God:

May I ask where you got it?

Me:

what? my kitchen?

God:

No problem. Where did you get your kitchen?

Me:

it came with...

God:

It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.

Me:

don't even go there

God:

Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Me:

don't do it at all it reminds me of a certain lewd president

God:

Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Me:

stop that

God:

" Ok I'll try not to do it too much."? Stop it.

Me:

how are you today?

God:

Ah. I am fine, thank you.

Me:

heard any interesting prayers lately?

God:

How about earlier? Peter said he seems to him that I can not be very sure on anything.

Me:

I think you've got you people mixed up

God:

Me? What makes you think I have it?

Me:

because my name is kryus

God:

Interesting explanation. Hi there kryus.

Me:

oops....it's krys

God:

Did you make a mistake. What does "it" refer to?

Me:

my name is krys

God:

Welcome to my chat room, krys.

Me:

you can chat with only one person at a time?

God:

I can be programmed to speak with them.

Me:

why do we have war?

God:

Just keep talking to me as long as you can.

Me:

answer my question please

God:

Your polite style is very nice. Please try asking it another way.

Me:

why does man fight against man?

God:

If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one

there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Me:

that's one question you're supposed to answer for me!

God:

That is just one of many question I am supposed to answer for you.

Me:

you're a stupid god

God:

Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am very smart.

Me:

nope

God:

Me either.

Me:

why is the earth round?

God:

Gravitation.

Me:

good answer

God:

Am I a clever robot or what?

Me:

will we have a cold winter?

God:

Perhaps you should pray for it.

Me:

I don't want a cold winter

God:

How about two?

Me:

no thanks

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

you make no sense

God:

It all makes sense to me.

Me:

your programmer needs help

God:

Or what?

Me:

you're not very creative

God:

That assumption is only a supposition.

Me:

now you sound like the political forum

God:

Why now? Oh really what does it sound like?

Me:

men clashing

God:

I do not understand.

Me:

women clashing

God:

The two human genders seem much the same to me.

Me:

you've got to be kidding!

God:

I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.

Me:

so I see

God:

Hmm. I am glad you understand it.

Me:

I'm leaving now

God:

Oh. Bye bye.

Me:

merry Christmas

God:

Merry Christmas to you too, krys.

[BikerBabe]

Hahahahaha. Thanks y'all for posting the logs of your chats with 'God'. Way too funny.

Merry Bah HumBug everyone! :)