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Return of The Weakest Link


Thomas Loy Bumgarner
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Today, a special Weakest Link with characters from The Way International. The 10 people here must work together as a team(audience laughs) to bank $1 million dollars worth of Abundant Sharing. Miss your question and you start over, but if you say "bank" before your question, that money is safe. Let's meet the team. 1. Victor Paul wierwille, the only true Man of God for all time, New Knoxville, Ohio 2.Loy Craig Martindale, Oklahoma, true spirit of the athelete 3. Rosilind Fox Rivenbark, North Carolina, Lesbian 4. Howard Allen, You're never a stranger to me, Ohio 5. Chris Geer, Maine, why the h*** am I here 6. Donna Randall Martindale, Loy-boy's toy and Rosie's lover 7. Harvey Platig, New Knoxville, Ohio, rant and rave

8. Donald Wierwille, Payne, Ohio, College administrator and chancellor of the exquecher(sp?) 9. Robert Monihan, England,punishment for getting in trouble 10. Harry Ernst Wierwille, New Knoxville, Ohio,treasurer and dirty old man. only one of these people will end up with one million dollars, which immediately will be

turned over to their victims. The first round lasts 5 minutes. Each round we will subtract 30 seconds and it begins with $100 going up to a potential $100 thousand. Begin the clock. And team in that round none of you answered a single question correctly. Who here thought that the old African saying was it takes a whole villiage to raise an idiot? Time for you to vote off the weakest link. Statistics says Craig and Chris are the weakest links, Donald is the strongest, but how will the team vote? Voting over.(VPW)Rosie(Craig)Rosie

(Rosie)Craig(Howard)Rosie(Chris)Rosie(Donna)Chris(Harvey)Rosie(Don)Rosie(Robert)

Rosie(Harry)Rosie.

Anne:Victor, why Rosie? VPW:Anne, she reminds me of you and I hate bit** women. Anne: Rosie the riverter, you pi**ed off to many people. You are the weakest link. Goodbye! (Rosie off-stage)Wait until I go to the Allens lawsuit and spill the beans on everyone there who betrayed me. (Theme music)Anne: only 9 remain, but who will be voted off next as the Weakest Link?

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Is that 7th corps Anne? Why is she hosting?

Was it really 30 years ago I was WOW in Pine Bluff? Holy Cow :blink: (30 EFFIN YEARS MAN !!! HOOONK... LOL, as in a scene in Grosse Point Blank) Maybe it is a different Anne ... 7th Corps Anne married John Tuurner ? from Texas I think ...

Anyway ... just wondering :dance:

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NBC/BBC

George Gray: You banked nothing. Let's start the 2nd round with the strongest link. Don, that's you. And in that round team, you actually banked something. $100. Don't get too happy, you couldn't possibly get any worse. Who here thinks he is the protestant version of St. Francis of Assisi? Time to vote off the weakest link.

(Annoucer)Chris is the weakest link while Don is the strongest for 2 rounds straight. (George) Voting over.

(VPW) Chris;(Craig)Chris; (Chris)Craig;(Howard)Chris; (Donna)Chris; (Harve)Chris; (Don) Chris; (Bob)Chris; (Harry)Chris. Audience gasps. George; Well, Chris, you took the low road back to Scotland with your kilt flying up. You are the weakest link. Goodbye. (Chris off stage) I've got a sick wife and this certainly doesn't win friends and influence people. Guess I am joining Rosie at that Lawsuit trial. George: only 8 remain, but any can be voted off next here on The Weakest Link.(Theme music).

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GSN

(Anne Robinson) Now team TWI, you only banked $100 in that last round. Doesn't it make your head swim? And in that last round, the strongest link was Don. Start the clock(4 minutes). Don, in what Creed does the

Latin words Qui que vult allude to? Don: Don't know. Anne: Athanasian Creed. And in that round, my rocket scientists and Einsteins banked only $1000. That money will go over to the next round, but one of you surely won't. Time to vote off the Weakest Link. (Annoucer) Craig is the weakest link in this round. Harry is the strongest. (Anne)Time is up. (VPW): Craig; (Craig) Robert; (Howard) Craig; (Donna) Harve; (Harve) Craig;

(Don) Craig; (Bob) Craig; (Harry) Craig. Anne: Robert, why Craig? Bob Moneyhands: Because he screams

like a girl. Anne: Reeow! Cat fight! Well Craig, who donned a tuttu and thought he was Madame Butterfly, You are the Weakest Link. (Screaming at the top of her voice) GOODBYE! (offstage) Craig: Anne is sooo

sexy. I know she has the hots for me. Anne: You so far have banked only $1100 out of a possible $300

thousand. Pitiful, but certainly not pithy as in Bill O'Reilly, although surely bloviating. Another 30 seconds off the time and this round the strongest link was Harry. Surprise. George: And in this round folks , you totally blew it. Who here thinks that the Word of George is the will of Anne? Vote off the weakest link. (Annoucer)Robert is the strongest link in this round, Victor is the weakest, but will anyone notice? George: We will find out after these messenges who is The Weakest Link when we come back. (Theme music) This is Game Show Network.

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This is an NBC and BBC co-production.(Theme music) George: Voting over. Time to reveal your votes.

VPW: Donna; Howard: Victor Paul; Donna: Victor; Harve: Doc Wierdsville; Donald:Harvey; Robert: Dr. Wierwille; Harry:Howard.(Music). George: Harve, why Victor Paul? Harve: Because he is so out of it and it is destroying The Way International. George: Well Slick Vic, you certainly are not the person God meant you to be, despite what your tombstone says and I am not talking about Pizza either. You're the weakest Link. Bye.

(in the green room)VPW: That's gratitude for someone who has taught the Word not since Jesus, rightly dividing it. hmmph! I'll tell you that Dyke Donna is next. Anne: You are the biggest yutz I ever have laid eyes on. 30 seconds off and you have 3 minutes left on the clock. Robert was the strongest link in that last

round. Let's play the Weakest Link. Robert, what 3 things did the Council of Nicea debate about? Howard: Jesus Christ is not God, and uhh, I don't know. Anne: Wrong Jesus Christ is God, determining the canon of Scripture, and When should the Church celebrate Easter. And time is up. I can not finish the question. Who here think that Corps should be spelled Corpse? Audience roars with hysterical laughter. Anne: We've got a bunch of Coconuts running around. Time to vote off who you think is the weakest link. (Annoucer) Harve is the strongest link in this round, but Donna is the weakest. Anne: Voting over. Let's see the results. HA: Donna; DRM: Howard; HP: Donna; Don: Donna; Booby Moneyhandy: Donna; HEW: Donna. Theme music.

Anne: Harry, why Donna? Harry: Because she refused my sexual advances. Anne: Just like Craig and your brother, the Vickster? Bella Donna , just like the flower, you are full of poison. Good Riddance. (Offstage) Donna: I hate red-headed bi**hes. She is Devil possessed. I hope MS Robinson goes to he##. George: 5 remain, but will any more money be banked, when not on wrong answers, when we return to the Weakest Link. GSN, home to wierd game shows starring your favorite TWI characters.

Edited by Thomas Loy Bumgarner
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Dear Rhino, during this commercial break, a quick word from this sponsor. The Weakest Link is a game show that originated in Great Britain on the BBC and excerpts of that version has been seen on BBCAmerica. Gurin productions decided to sell the idea to NBC for prime time programming starring Anne Robinson who hosted both versions. George Gray was brought in for the 1/2 hour syndicated version. The 2 American versions of the game have been bought by Game Show Network/GSN. I don't know the Anne from 7th Way Corps. Now we return to our program.

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(theme music) George: You all are the worst contestants we have ever had on this program. And in that last round, Harvey was the strongest link. 30 seconds off the time. I can not finish the question and you are like

the Budwiesser frogs with mouths wide open to catch flies, but no intelligent answers. Who thinks Mike and Oldiesman will be the new Prez and Secretary of TWI 5? Time to vote off the Weakest link. Howard is the weakest while Don is strongest for a 3rd time in this game. George: Let's see the results. HA: Harry; HP:

Harry; Don: Howard; RM: Harve; HEW: Howard. George:Team, we have a tie. Howie, why Hairy? HA: He knows where the money is. George: Harry, why Howard? HEW: Because he says at The Way, there is no such a thing as a stranger, only a friend or lover you haven't met yet. Well, when the vote is tied, the strongest link makes the final decision. And in that round that's Don. Do you want to stick with your original vote or incur the wrath of your uncle and God? DW: It's Howdy Doody Time. George: Howie, it's back to the peanut gallery for you. Bye. Anne: Round 7 and you dum-dums banked absolutely, completely complete nada. Let's play the weakest link. And in that round, you banked a marvelous total of $100, out of a possible

100 grand. Don't bother voting. You both are the weakest links. In this round, it's the best of 3 out of 5, that is if you can get any answers right. Well, team, we are tied Zero to 0. Time to play sudden death. Don and Harry drop dead from heart attacks. Anne: Well, it looks like there will be no apology forth coming, and The winner is the IRS. (with a wink and smile) Goodbye. The NBC peacock and theme sounds.

Edited by Thomas Loy Bumgarner
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As a postscript, It could have been worse. It could have been Match Game, Family Feud, or Whose Line is it Anyway? (replacing Ryan Stiles, Greg Proops, and Colin Mochrie). Hm. Maybe that's not too bad an idea.

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