Leaderboard

I think of a few memories of dealing with major LOSS events in my life. First, I go back to 1986 to clarify (once again) that my exit from TWI was not a matter of Mark and Avoid on their part. Next I go back to childhood to recall when a pet dog, Barney the beagle, died. I was maybe 8 to 10 years old. I was devastated. To avoid recurrence of that pain, I never wanted to have another dog. But we did get another dog eventually. In my late 30s, my brother, 15 months younger than I was, died suddenly as a result of undisclosed heart disease at age 36. I cried every time I thought of him, for at least the next year. Then there was the divorce, which was bad enough, but when my daughter was 13, she and I became estranged and I had no contact with her for the next seven years. I cried a lot over that pain. However, I have long continued to seek understanding and wisdom. I am no longer estranged from my daughter, who is now in her 30s. She has also given me (and three other grandparents) two lovely grandchildren and now has another on the way. Emotionally and socially, I can and do reflect back on those experiences with thankfulness. They (the experiences) are all bittersweet. I am only now who I am for having gone through them. Maybe one day (or many days) I too will write a memoir, including my time in TWI.

So, we've discussed, on some GSC topics/thread, the human need for belonging. And for how the draw for TWI was and is the human social need for belonging. The price for admission was (decades ago) taking Wierwille's class(es), faithfully attending TWIG, abundantly (and "cheerfully" sharing well more than 10 percent of your income), and eventually complying with increasingly heavy burdens of obedience to rulers (otherwise called leaders of various levels of the Way Tree, a dubious and counter-biblical doctrine/dogma). It never REALLY was about whether or not what Victor taught was god-breathed or the most accurate interpretation of the will of God. If it had been, a LOT of people who willingly left that "household of faith" would have died prematurely (than actually did). However, leaving/departing/exiting the group to which many of us identified with as the one providing us a sense of belonging--whether voluntarily or because of ostracization--most of the time brings some degree of emotional pain. From one of the books I am now reading: Loss serves up a rich and bittersweet stew of love and wisdom about what matters. Right inside the pain is the opportunity to see all of our present moments in a way that helps us live life more purposefully and more fully. But we can't learn the lessons that loss contains while fighting or running from it.

Thankful that God heals and that it is not dependent on my "super powerful" believing. It's a load of pressure if you think you have to believe perfectly or you won't be healed.

Let them resist. Massively. They are free to resist as we are free to criticize. But I get it it’s not easy. In Russia, China, North Korea and TWI, the powers and principalities do not resist criticism, they swiftly dispatch the criticizer to prison or exile or death.

OldSkool, your story resonates deeply with me. I was never corps, but I was married for eleven years to a vpw-loving narcissist whose flying monkeys were corps. I know about the constant walking on eggshells, the self-loathing, the self-medicating, the hellish world of confusion and suicidal despair for never being good enough. Spiritual abuse is real, Psychological abuse is real. Religious abuse is real. And it's deadly. Please know these fruits are not of God, Truth, Love. All are lies. ALL OF IT. There is no precious baby to be removed before throwing out the bath water. The baby is a rotten, diseased grown man yelling with a cardboard sign and selling pencils from a cup. He has contaminated the entire bath room. Only complete demolition will do. I can't say this enough: Thank God for Grease Spot Cafe.