imbus

At Twi when I worked in Hskg my intrim year,I was assigned to doing the floors in the WOW auditorium.I remember thinking obsessivly about "behind ever dust bunny there was a devil spirit". That is what I was taught. Talking about being a slave to an enviorment you had no contlol over. DUST BUNNIES HAPPEN. I now attend a Dust Bunny support group and am on step 1. We admitted we were powerless over Dust Bunnies-that our lives had become unmanagable.

My life was so unmanagable because I was spendind to much time vacuming those devil spirit ladden dust bunnies out of ever cornor. Anyway I'm in recovery and I do not have the drive nor desire to go after those bunnies......Thank you. I pass.

Thanks Kit for the direction to Pet affection. I never wonder to that part of the web because I can't contribute. It's locked so I just by pass it all together.

Good story JL. God is good to all things. Thanks for sharing.

Thoght it would be fun to share some pet stories. You kow the ones that you nearly pee your pants about.This is my favorite.

While I was working at a eating disorder facility a stray cat appeared on the primises. This cat was names "carmello' by the clients. He was near white with blue eyes. He kept the mice population dowm so we thought. I noticed that "Carmello was getting thinner and thinner. I thought it was a direct corrilation with were he live.(animals will sometimes take on the behaviors of those they are around.) Well this cat lost so much weight that people started to take notice

especially the director. She said the cat was diseased and was going to call animal control. (It was also against JACHO rules.)

The cat was walking sorta side ways with his head tilted to one side. So befor he could be wisked of, my friend and I took ownership of the cat. Well on the way to the Vet to be checked out I renamed him "Mr.Man". On account he had the largest gonads I have ever seen on a cat. I mean this cat would put any species to shame. Apon exam the Vet said he had ear mites so that is why his head was tilted. Also that he is nearly blind and catching mice was almost impossible. I asked the Vet to give all the appropriate shots and to have him nutered so he wouldn't spay in the house . (There was another cat.) The Vet looked at me with a funny look on his face and said "He already is." Well now!

Now that "Mr.Man" has filled out I think the vet was right.

I loved Paul Winfield. He played a good part in Star Trek as a Capt. with a worm crawling in his ear. Yikes. He sorly will be missed.

Dearest posters, Judging by the lack of responce I sence that maybe I'v been a little intrusive. For this I aplogize. I guess what I'm asking is...Since we are not greaspots and are still here,I'd like to hear some sucsess stories of "Life without The Way"in any catagory you wish to share.

I am so Thankful to my higher power that I am still alive and have tremendous possibilities. available.

This is a forume to tell of your journey since TWI.I was amazed to here Wackyfunster journey and continued evolution to be her athentic self.

Although being her true self I dont think ever was a problem.

I like the "Lord of the Rings " series. Remember Bilbo Baggins writing a book? " There and back again, a hobbits tale" by Bilbo Baggins. Well I would love to hear your tale. Good or bad makes no difference. It's your story, so share what is comfortable.

Entered the U.S Army in 88

Left Twi in 89. (In since 76)

Stayed on active duty till 94.I loved being a combat medic and ER tech. Was stationed in Fairbank AK. Got out because the militay changed to a "peace keeping force."

Drank my self drunk for 6mos.

worked OB/GYN ,I hated it .

Worked as a behavior specialist for kids that could not be in public school. I loved that. Went to Colorado with a friend to be a female wrangler and outfitter. 2nd day of school broke both my arms in a horse accident. Was layed up for 6mos. doing phisical therapy.

Got a job working at a Eating Disorder residential. Had a love /hate relationship with that. I was too co-dependent and those girls loved the chaos. That was the time my drinking got to be to much . Also at that time my mother was diognosed with terminal lung cancer. She only was suppose to live for 4 mos. She lasted 2 1/2 yrs. My Dad had dementia and was slipping to. They both died 6 wks apart. Same day ,same hour. So my plate was pretty full amotionally.

resigned from the anorexic facility buried both my parents and went to work with amotionally abused kids. I love that but have been beat up so much that I now work nights.

What I have learned about myself is I'm an alcoholic in recovery. I have learned to set boundries and limits. Twi taught me the opposite. I see a therapist for couceling. And my journey with God is realitivly new and different.. That part of my life has been buried and now Im ready to handle my Way stuff. Celtic spirituality resinates with me and different types of mystisim. So I am a work in progress. I just happened to wonder on to gsc and have not left since the first day of reading begun.

That is more or less my life. I have had failed relationships but that is another story.

Now its your turn. I look forward to reading your journey.

Wachy, my thoughts exactly. GS has been instirmental in getting different perspectives,insites and understanding going in my head other than Waybrain. To read the different abuses and accounts has made me fell "Im not alone" and it wasn't all about me. But at the same time it has stird so much emotion that a little bit of harmless fun on the treads has eased the pain. On occassion I do LOL. As far as the spars and in house fighting that is a part of the human experiance.I persoally hate conflict and to read the on going fuedes reminded me of the one- upmanship that was pevilant at twi among leadership or leadership want-to-bes. Anyway what i NEED to read more of is... How do/did you get to the place that it doesnt hurt as much or what do you beleive now and how is your walk with the creator? I spent an hr. on the phone with Wacky to reconnect with my past and allow for an X-way person to speak their truth. It was what the doctor ordered. I needed to hear that im going to be ok and can get through this. I needed to hear a voice.

I needed to hear what Wacky went throgh and what has been her journey since.Not to get permission for anything but just a little valadation that I am not alone and yes" there is life after twi".I wish there were more postings on the journey that most of you have taken and where it has lead you.

IN recovery groups the wonderful thing about them is... you hear other's storys and they share what works in there lives. Or hear the question" this is what has happened to me ...what can i do do now to change my future." I love to hear what others have done. It provides me with more options and understanding.

well thought I speak my mind and hope to start a diolog on this . Maybe I will.

Speaking of Donna...... What ever happened to Leah and Timothy? I tought Leah in childrens fellowship at H.Q . I hope she doesn't have any addictive personality triats like her father. That would be sad.

IMO, Mel is forfilling a commitment to never forget where he came from.

In his youth he was beat severly while he working on the docks in Aussie Land. He was so disfigured from the beating that after he healed no one would hire him.( I got this from NPR) He was absolutly horrifying to look at. When he had hit his very bottom he walked inside a church. The priest felt so bad for him and worked on getting him help. The priest worked with the medical community to get surgery done pro-bono. What was not pro-bono was paid by he church.

Mel in his journey has done another fine peice of work."The man without a face" I think he was able to catharticly move past some of the emotions that he felt in that time of isolation in his life.

In an interview I heard he said that his drug and alcohol abuse had left him spiritualy bankrupt. He was suisidal and finally went into recovery. There he was able to heal and put his personal demons to rest.

To forfill a promise to never forget what was done for him by the church....hence the movie. This movie was 10 yrs in the making in his mind.

So herrrraaah for Mel . His own personal thankyou to not only the church but his God too.

TWI be damned. Let me see them put our money where there mouth is. A HAA, didn't think so.

Hey cafegirl,

Keep talking . It does a body good. Its like being emotinally plugged up and finally having to go."GREASE"spot has a madisinal way of disloging all the B*ll.... and heartache that we have endured. RUN with baby, Run with it!

Hey Rascal,

TWI is imploding as we live and speak. The things that attracted us to twi was yes, an organized (the way) of viewing the bible,unconditional love,a place to belong and reason for our existance. I know, back in the old days people really beieived for signs,miracles and wonders and saw them. Not because of twi's teachings or beleiving but because God is good and bigger than the organization and us.(It took me a while to figure that one out) The things that were done on a spiritual plane,(because we so loved people and wanted Gods best for them)I think made the difference between GOOD AND EVIL.Love is spiritual.

The reason i think twi cannot endure much longer. It is because of the lack of love ,limited inspiration and the meanspiritedness of the group. Those qualities are self evident and are easy now to identify. These characteristic used to be upper echolon behaviour. Now it has filtered down to a twig level. And for thoose of us that said enough is enough are witnesses to what is despirtly evil.

I am so sadened by something that was in spirit sooo healing, was used to further financal and sexual gain. Regardless of the evil, I got to experiance God in a manner that... could not be taught and sometimes shared. When you peel away the layers of twi thinking and hooopla, you are made aware of the spirituality you lived and had your being in. Your spiritual core self will affirm you.

Again as for twi it was an organization that was terribly wrong with a bunch of people(you and me)that were terribly right. And it was the right people who made it work. Those people have left and are leaving. So I dont worry about twi future...it has none. THAT IS MY FINAL ANSWER !!!!!!

HERE ARE SOME FOLK id like to find. Tony Craft,Santia Snell,(13th Palma Driscul,7th Jim Ferrio,5th Susan Miller,7th Chris Pervangie),Tovah Finnman,(family? Randy and Randy Smith)Gabe Ortize, his sister Anna Copper that is all iI can think of now and...Wackyfunster or bancho

thanks

ARE THE DEAD ALIVE NOW? HUMMMMMMMM! I hope not.Do you know what a dead body looks and smells like after a while? "Thriller" revisited.

At this point in my spiritual walk it equates to "wheither Adem had a belly-botton or not" It's not that important to me to know.

"Well kids it's alot of things." Ops, I didn't mean to say that. WAYBRAIN snucked in.

Marrige is an institution that was made up by man. Do your research and you'll see. Sooo what's the Beeef? What I do believe is a spiritual heart felt commitment between two people is the issue. The majority of folks that do get hitched don't have a vital relationship with God and/or are amotional and mentally unhealthy. Lots of baggage goes into the union. Breakups are do to immaturity,ingonrance and a lack of skills during the hard moments. Yea I do beleive that commitment in this day and time has been deluted or minimized to mean "when I feel like it or when it is convient"

When two people join in the union of an integral relationship, gender is really insignifacant. So what speaks volumes to me is what is lived rather then what is legal. With the gay community I think for some, they just want legal recognition for what spiritual, amotionally and lovenly has been in place for years. Don't you beleive though that after the hoopla has settled the devorce rate among gays will be equal to hetro marriges.Marrige or the family unit is not the thing in crisis here. The state of our human experiance is. We are a world that is perdominatly "self" orintated and narrsistic. And because of that any relationship will struggle and suffer weither hetro,gay,black white,young or old. So my hat is off to any one that has that selfless spiritual union married or not.

having multiple addictions, the religious and institutioual addiction startrd in jr. high.

Florida Bible College-7 yrs. 14-21 y/o

TWI-11 yrs. 21-32 y/o

US Army- 6 yrs. 32-38 y/o

after that co-dependency was my drug (38-44 y/o) mixed with alcohol.

Recovery to present-3 yrs. 45-47 y/o

When you have addictive behavior it is real easy to make anything a "drug of choice," including the Bible. Thank God I now know the difference between spirituality and compulsive religious behavior.I was a good find for TWI

.

I work at a residential treatment center for kid and i know even the youngest of kid are effected. So i dont think it is a learned social behavior.

I will say that the most powerful sensis I have ever had was over a full moon. I looked up in the heavens and thought "I am seeing what Jesus Christ saw... 2000 yrs ago. I am sure King David saw the same thing and wondered How great thou art. For some reason the reality of J.Cs existence was confirmed ,validated or just the realization I too at a different point in time was able to see what he also viewed. Made me feel special and close to Him.

Even though I dont know you well Z, I cried at my computer as I read your loss.I too have a ferrel kitty from a rescue moment. I know how much joy and laughter she has added to my life.

I think the eternal thing about animals is that they become a part of who we are thus making there contribution to us a forever connection.That contribution to your soul will be passes on to Callie thus making Aquila a continuence of Callie in some special way.(Much like a heart transplant)God, I hope Im not sounding crazy, but I see life and the spirit of life as a on going process. Thanks for sharing you loss and also allowing us to rejoice with "the new kid on the block".

finally got through all the good stuff. great names.

IMBUS is a mis-spelling of IMBAS. If you read any of my post you will find loads of grammatical error. Im pretty typing illiterate too.

IMBAS is a gaelic word for "devine inspiration". I started getting into my heritage resently. After leaving twi and living with no direction for over ten years I finally cam back to my earthly family. Although my history with them was abusive I needed to have some roots somewhere. I started looking into my mothers heritage and found a place to belong. I read a book by Frank MacEowen called "The Mist-Filled Path" In it, it spoke of a spiriuality that resinated with me. Thus the word Imbas. To understand all the neuances you have to read the book.

ohhhhh...why the worm??? I love to read and ponder, not to mention that without the earth worm there would be no fertle ground for growth.

thank you who have responded in kindness. this is the last of my issues and yet the most painful to address. The betrayal runs so deep. when I allow my self to wonder into memory land about TWI my heart aches for what could have been. Christinity at its finest hour. But it is a story once again of religious pioty gone amuck at the expence of the pure hearted.

I like the culture of the Aboriginies. From a very young age spirituality is recognized in the young child.The morals and collective good is taught,what is best for the group. By the example set by the mature and elderly, children by the time of adolesence know their connectedness to the land, each other and to the "oneness" that is in all.Their gifts are recognized and developed by the elders as the children easily manifest them.If that is the longsuit of that child then it is respected and honored. Weither it be story telling ,cerimonial worship, hunting, basket weaving or herb finder. all is sacrad and a nessisity of the group.These people live a harmony that is breath taking.From within to everything that is without.A ONENESS THAT CANNOT BE VERBALIZE NOR DOES IT HAVE TO. so now I see christianities finest hour living in a culture that is as old as the beginning of time.It has no written language and communication is between the minds." You just know " It makes me have to ask some hard honest questions about what I believe. I know im in a first wold country were i dont have to beleive for my daily bread, like they do. Maybe thats the problem. We have moderinized our lives to the point that the nessisity of God no longer exist.At least the traditional God we have been taught.I do believe in a higer power (he, she, it, they). But that higer power is being redfined as my spiritual core is allowed to live and have the freedom to ponder and concider what resinates and what do not. So it is a journey( much like the Aboriginies "walk about"),that is the defining moment of who and what God is to me. I have a sneaking suspition that what I might find may be far removed from the Christianity of the last 2000 years.

"ONENESS HAPPENS"

I have been in recovery for 2 years for the abuses incured by my parents and being a follower of TWI.I had been severly abusesed by my parents growing up, so to follow TWI was a part of the cycling that I learned as child.I got involved with twig in 76. Jeff and Diane Tyler were wow twig-leaders in Miami FLA. Those two loved me back into living.At the time I was suisidal, had a psycotic break and was desperate. The Bible college I had attened prior to twig was extremly fundemental.I was taught that if I did not witness to people there blood would be on my hands.With that type of doctrine and my earthly father using the bible as a club ,I was very valnerable to hear and see something powerful and loving.I was loved bombed by the Tylers,Harvy Platig and his wow broyher,Walter. PFAL changed my life. I now had a way to contol my intrusive thoughts and a means to put the abuse of my parents behind.The anxiety I felt 24-7 was used as a tool to move PFAL.Its theraputic name is exsessive/ compulsive disorder. I went wow in 77. After a few years of going wow I finally went into the 15th wc.My first year was filled with so much amotional hell I should have left . Diane Tyler had commited suiside and no one gave me a reason why. Pat Lynn acused me of being a homosxual,guilt bt assocation and all my sins were put on a 3x5 card by a over zelous 13th corps breathern.I went befor John Lynn and was put on a 2 week probationary period. I had to get my act together or leave. Well TWI was my family now and leaving was out of the question. I endured public humilation, was taken of my assigned job working in the Banchi apt. and put on refinishind desk were I could do no harm. What harm I do not know.I was also held back from going LEAD with my group. I was watched 24-7. I did not amotionally breath till I graduated from the Corps.

One of the abuses I have hade to work through was that of the film shown as part of "Bedside manners" I was very nieive twards sex and was looking forward to understanding it in a healthy way.(My parents example of marrage and sex was very distorted.Women were victumized and treated a second class citzens.)To say the least I was tramatized by what I saw. Even though I was age approprate, emotionally I was not prepared for the images I saw.To see women only in that film spoke volumes of what VP sub-concsciencly thought of women.There was no warning just the film.That class also spiritually set a standard for what a womens role is and it was not about partnership or equality.

The Way Corps taught me not to trust my own inner core being, not to look outside of its own closed-system for help and certainly not to think for myself.I have struggled for decades to be my own person and thank God for greaspot...it is happening. I attend AA mtngs because of alcoholism,I take Paxil for my anxiety and have done some extensive EMDR work through a therapist.I'm finally at home with my core self. My nurturing,protective and spiritual core is alive and well.

One of the books that has released me from the bonds of traditional,fundemental christianity is "Why christianity must change or Die" by John Shelby Spong.It's a great read.

So much more had happened while i was in the wc, lots more. But for now I submit this bit of info and hope that those in a spiritual or emotional delima will know you are not alone.

i would like to find susan too. she kept me grounded on my intrim year at h.q if it wasnt for her and the sharing of hearts over a glass of wine i dont think i would be alive today. it was her love and acceptance that made me feel sane when everyone else at h.q was going nuts with accusations in 86. i really hope to find her and thank her.

yea, 15th corps here. Emporia 1st yr, HQ 2nd and Gunnison 3rd. nearly lost my mind 1st year.almost left. should have. that year damn near distoyed me. im in recovery and healing from all the insanities of leader ship. glad to be out and healing.