imbus

I gave 24-7(x)11yrs... all my talant, ability and energy not to mention took crappie jobs to apease whoever was in charged to accomadate moving PFAL. Paid TWI money to be abused in the WC and had wonderful friends of mine fiancially sponcer the abuse.

Some states reimburse wrongly convicted individuals $10,000-20,000.00 per year for there time of incarceration.

VPW had a good racket going. He figured if he had your life he had everything that was productive in it.

So if I was to put into dollar and cents what was given to TWI... " a price far above rubies".

For years I have been silent about my experiance with TWI. I have met with a therapist to address my anger and desructive behavior. When she got me healed up with my family stuff our next topic was TWI. Sadly though my therapist won't touch my cult Issues. She says she is not qualified. I wrote my own spiritual Bio and got on the Internet to get direction and help. I accidently found GS.-------

What GS has done is taken a truly silent broken heart and allowed for a voice to come forth. I beleive GS is very theraputic.-------------------

Like Hope said it is a place where you are understood...without explanation.-------------------

GS has stired up alot of stuff emotionally but praise God it is a place to heal when stired. And your not alone.

You got me! My heart was racing and screams of Holy.... was being verbalized. My blood pressure rose about 20 pts. nice adrinaline buzz.

HERE IS ANOTHER...The original sin in the begining was masterbation. First you have to beleive in creation which I don't and second why would God even care about masterbation? I think VPW had a hang up or two.

PB&M??? :(--> :(-->

I remember sitting through "ADV.79"...DWA... when I sware I heard LCM say..."Mountains are a consquence of the battle in Gen1:1-2." That Mnts. were a manifestation of Satans destructive handy work on the earth. Did anyone else hear that?

It took me years to enjoy the Rocky Mnts. Now I live in the Mnts. near a Vortex.

AHHHHH DOGMA! I gave that video to my therapist to watch and said "this is where I'm headed spirtually". The next session she said she laughed so hard she wanted her 80y/o mother to watch it. My therapist is a Episcapalian lay person. She had been trying to get me to go to her church and be a member. After watching the movie she decided to leave me alone. She figured I had the potential to be like one of the Angles. She still has my video.

Well said Dot!

Leaf,

MY3cents really put it togerther for you. Its a journey within, to find out why. Alot of the topics at GS handle your question in different ways. Read all that you can and what resinates with you, put in your pocket. With time it will come together for you. But most importantly is...be kind to yourself. For years I beat myself up for being so valnerable. Then I realized TWI kept me alive when I was at my wits end. That's MY story. So take your time and enjoy the fellowship of GS along the way.

WELCOME

Roy.....MY O MY! You've lived quiet a life .I m glad you are a part of GS and contribute. Hope your health gets increasingly better and that you find work. Thanks for sharing bro.

From my observation of and experiance within the mental health feild, there are a few chronic mental health problems that LCM needs to address. "You that are without...cast the first stone".

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER,PARANOIA,NARRSISISM,GRADIOUSITY,SOCIALPATHIC,DETACHMENT DISORDER,OPPOSITIONAL/DEFIANT DISORDER,OBSESSIVE/COMPULSIVE DISORDER,SEXUAL ADDICTION,ADHD,SPIRITUAL LEARNING DEFFICITE DISORDER,CONDUCT DISORDER,ect. Characteristic of a seared consciencs at TWI.

All this equals PTSD(Post tramatic stress disorder)and GAD(General anxeity disorder) for the MA folks. This you can recover from. The said diognosis mentoned above of TWI is very difficult if not impossibe to over come.

You know I would hate to beleive that the 11 yrs. with TWI was worthless. There where a lot of good healthy moments. And by experiance there was alot of painful moments and now know that the doctrine was shaded and harmful. Does that make me a spiritual perpitrator? Hell no! Like many I beleived in what I was taught. Yes I was brainwashed and often times then not ...confussed. And I do take responcibility for being an instriment or pone in the sceem of things. BUT some how in the insanity of it all there has to be meaning and spiritual significense to it all. I beleive there is.-

Viktor Frankl wrote a book about his time in a concentration camp during WWll."Man's search for meaning" In it he ponders the question, "What is the meaning of all this suffering and death." His conclusion was each individual has to go through some form of self-actualization and find the hidden truths of his existance. {Actually he said more then that but it is the some and jest.}-

For me I needed TWI because I was a basket case any way. It kept me alive for a long time. But when I think of all those years in "christian service"I realized NOW I am able to recognize when inspiration hits and when God is at work in me. Even when it was shrouded in questionable beliefs."Love[God] never fails." I think we all really loved God and wanted what was best for people. We were deceived into beleiving TWI had the best product on the market.-

I am still up for helping Gods people...But now I do it more catiously and answer to no man. TWI taught me that in a negitive but profound way.So I guess if I let TWI get the best of me and I shut down spiritually then I guess that 11 yrs. was a waste and there is no meaning to our suffering or our existance. I hope you do not find this to aggressive. I mean well.

I hesatated to bring this up but I think it might give a different slant on sickness and dying.

-

My mother was diognoised with terminal lung cancer.(She started smoking when she was 14y/o). She was given 4 mos.to live. My brother belieived in her instintanious healing, I did not. I was of the same beleif as my older sister that her cancer was a consquence of smoking and at best could ask God for extention of life. WEll my mother lasted 2 1/2 years. In the 2 1/2 years tremendous healing happened. 1st(miracle #1) my father was put in a nursing home because he fell and broke his hip. He also had dementia. My mother with her cancer ridden body had no buisness taking care of him. With him safly nusttled away my mother had the freedom to do as she pleased, which wasn't much.-

I have to say this in order for you to get the scope of healing my mother recieved.-

My father was an extremly abusive man. He was narrisistic,contolling and verbally abusive. He made Archie Bunker seem like a girl scott. My mother becme the focus of his rage although he never laid a hand on her. There was a constint stream of accustions of infidelity,peversion and women are dirt.-

So until my father got dementia, this was a 40+ years of oppression and abuse. My father tried to ruin every friendship she ever had with mothers in the neiborhood. My mothers friend Joyce was a Godsend and that friendship endured.-

As my mothers cancer progressed she was given a hospics worker that was male. That man loved my mother in to living again. He pampered her,made her feel like a queen.He dotted on her so much that she felt like a women was suppose to feel. Special! She was finally nurtured. (Miracle#2)-

My mother always has taken a back seat to my father. Her life was insignifacant compared to his needs and demands.WELLLLL. The local newspaper was wanting to run an article on "Death and Dying". They found out that my mom was terminally ill and asked if she would volenteer to be the subject. She said yes. So they followed her all the way to her last breath. For 9 mos. she was in the spot light. Those 9 mos. was about her and how she felt. She was front page news and the community followed her journey.(miracle#3) This miracle is self explanitory.-

WEll it so happened that a good friend wanted to come see her. It was Joyce. Joyce was my mothers mentor, sister,soul mate. Joyce hung out with my mother foe 4 mos. My mother laughed again and became child like with the stories of a friendship that could not be smothered. It was not a friendship renewed but a friendship continued. Joyce even got in the news paper.(miracle#4)-

When my mother passed it was very peaceful, contrary to the life she had lived. So I guess there was tremendous healing that happened. It wasn't in the realm that my brother beleived for but in the areas of greatest need. Her soul was restored. What a great way to have your lifes story end.-

My mother was not a perfect mother. She was abusive too. But her stuff was about survival and ignorance. She was partially paralized on her right side and had a learning disability. So I hold no ill feeling twards this women. I'm very happy she was healed even though it was not phisical.-

The final 2 1/2 yrs was the best years of her life, cancer and all.

DITTO

With some people you really want to do what is best. We bend over backwards,forgive because they are so unhappy and make excuses for their behavior. Well sweety there comes a time when you need to take care of you.

Setting limits and boundries is sometimes hard especially if your persona is kind and caring. Reading from your post you sound loving and probly have been very patient with this woman. If setting limits with her is not worth the effort or won't make a difference, might I suggest that you ask God to make her life so busy that she has no time to focus on you. I have prayed this a few times myself when all else fails. I just say"God I don't care what you do just do something" AMEN. Usually within days the person is busy back peddleing there own lives. To pre-occupied with self to notice others. If they are doing some really psyco damage to others then I ask that they be removed. Gods discretion. Well I'll keeping you in my prayers.

When I was a WOW in leesville La. near Ft.Polk we happened on this property with a FOR RENT sign in the yard. The "retired" Army sargent rented us his house immediatly, furniture and all. We move in. 4 months later there was a knock at the door with a mad real-astate owner screaming bloody murder. Apparently the good Sgt. was not retired but kicked out of the Army and was sub-letting the house to us. Well when he showed up for rent ,he got an ear full and we kept the furnture. To the real-astate guy we only paid $5.00 over what we were paying the good Sgt.

Mostly that year I was on a liquid diet. I tended Bar. I did learn to like Black beans and rice and carring a gun was a way of life in that town. Had a shot gun behind the bar. Oh yes...I played hard and moved the bible. It was a good year.

Dearesr Frank,

This post on sickness generates alot of pain.(pun intended)

When I left TWI, one of the first things I wanted claifacation on was sickness and its origin. For years I lived with shame because of "my" inability to heal someone or shame-filled cover-up and rationalization as to why others didn't get healed when I did beleive and they didn't. I did't have the meaness to be accusitory and say "it your fault" I certainly did not buy into "what was your sin to cause this?"

------------------------------------------------ I had to go back to Jn.10:10 and ask what is the abundent life? Then ask if what I have been taught realistic? Well to make a long story short I finally figured out........ HAPPENS!.... happens to good and bad alike. And the Law of beleiving is not as powerful as we had been taught. It's all about Gods Goodness and not my narrsistic beleiving. So with that I say this...Like the rest of the world, your born, you live, you get old, you die! And yes we do get sick and that is o.k.

------------------------------------------------

TWI hooked me with promises of abundance, being Gods elite and having Power.Once I was hooked, I tried day-n-day out to make those promises work. And when they didn't happen, it was all about me, never about what I was being taught.

------------------------------------------------There is a book out Titled" The Betrayal Bond" by Patrick Carnes.It talks about betrayal by suduction(promises)and spirit(clergy in positions of power and abusing that position)

well I can ramble on so I guess my point is...Hope all is well with you and if your ever sick GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.

:(--> :(--> :(--> :(-->

I am so sorry. Be talking to the creator about your pups.

IMO, This present truth idea is a continuance of the old present poop, with a different smell to it.Or is it present hoop? What ever the lable ,it's still incosistent verbage of something that does't work, has hurt the masses and is down right evil.

WOW,WOW,WOW,WOW,WOW,WOW,WOW,WOOOOOOOOW!

SPEACHLESS!!!!!!

Something is very stinky about all this pelt passing. Who was the originator of the sacrad pelt? Who gave it to V.P? I think the Native Americans would be highly offended to know that a skin of great honor was used to adorn such dishonorable people.

3x5 cards, hhuuuuuum I seem to remember something about them. I went to John Lynns office and sat there in shock as my life was been read from a 3x5 card."You said this , you did that ,you didn't do this and where were you and why where you late." I was not kicked out of the corps but put on a 2wk. probationary period. I was releived of my job responcibility in the Bianchi Apt. and put in refinishing where i could do no harm. That was the start of a romantic relationship with leadership. I was screwed no matter what I did... right or wrong.

Wacky i think the 3x5 cards where Emporia specific. A meanspirited directive given by leadership to teach some 13th corps to be *ssh*les and a means to kill any free thinking 15th from moving on or upward.I think you said it well on the phone.The corps produced two types of people,codependents(can't think for yourself) and control freaks. Both mind sets are very screwed up and takes a while to get the dodo out of your life.

Dear EW, Good question.

I attend a lot of places. My favorite is a Methodist church in Phionex.Every time I go there I am awe struck by the love that is diplayed by the minister and unity of the congrgation. It is very deversified and you can since no judgement or ridicule, just warm acceptance. They too,like ex's church, is very community minded. Has groups to suit every need. They're handeling of the Bible is very simplistic and understanably practicle. It puts me in a child like frame of mind with all my defenses down.

The other place is an Episcapal bible study. Father Charles is a genusis with the historical and intellectual background to the bible. He privatly has helped me with Way Brain. My therapist suggested meeting with him.

About the Methoist church...A gay therapist at work was looking for a church and found this one. She and her girlfriend invited me knowing my spiritual abuse hx. It has meet my most basic and yet most important need...Sweet fellowship.

A very good question... thanks!

dearesr bramble

I'm glad your out and that you have a better handle on life.Twi always stired up chaos.

As for finding friends it took me years to be able to hold a simple conversation. And you know Im pretrafied of groups too. I can tolerate an AA group but dont get me to commit to the 12 step program. No way. Anyway thanks for sharing. "It's good to be alive...without The Way"