MATILDA

Ok...who's got the remote control?

MATILDA is the first name of Matilda Hooligan, a name foisted upon me (in my childhood by my older sinister brother, Smut) with no less intention than to tease, torment, and antagonize me. Much to the great Smuterion's chagrin, I heard the song "Waltzing Matilda" sometime after he was mercilessly assaulting me with the name-calling...loved the song...changed my mind about the onus of being "Matilda." Even now, a thousand years later, I embrace my tilderiffic heritage by giving it my sole cyber-identity. Viva la Smut! ****** p.s the reason MATILDA is in caps is becuz I was an incredible cyberflubup in daze of Waydale long gone...didn't know how to change it once I fell into the rabbit hole...lol.

I was a long, long time out of TWI before coming upon Waydale. Like someone earlier said, the God's Royal Tapestry and Bo Reahard's site and other small sites led the way...lol. Actually, now that I think about it, it was in a post on God's Royal Tapestry that someone expressly mentioned Waydale by name, with the heavy exhortation NOT to go there. So, I did, natch. LOL. That was a find. Here was me,a the ultimate cyber-spazz, tapped into this website. I spent an obscene amount of time there, reading everything, everyday. Wheras, it really really helped to fill in the blanks, connect the dots, etc., the constant Oprah-fest (and sometimes pure vitreol and bona-fide nutsitude) of early Waydale is meat for a good screenplay, in and of itself. Victoria and catmandu and a host of other sad-but-trues with any number of names and agendas lived there along with the rest of a hungry population. Waydale chatroom was a spiritual wormhole...it WAS a real live happening...lol. Very addictive. Sheesh...babies got birthed in thare! And socks, my little Logos friend, I remember when you first posted...you and the Zbee and many others will forever be dear to me.

like the Nehru jacket...gone, but not forgotten? I miss these guys.

There must be an Illinois thread buried somewhere in the archives... ...anyway, 1972- the first IL Limb meeting. First time I met VPW and Mrs. W. I remember thinking he was very real and heartfelt...thanked me for being there... I was with the Mooncotches ("adults" doncha know) so I was in the presidential suite or whatever it was. Ted and Mardel are forever in my memory banks...I remember thinking Ted struck me as a white Ronny Milsap wannabee and Mardell was a sorry Aunt Bea at the keyboards... I was so very pinheaded and wrong...lol. They absolutely rocked. Wailed. It was a wild and blessed treat. It tipped me right off my snobby presumptions. Now, it would be less than true to say I liked or cared for Ted Ferrell's type of music as the years rolled by...BUT, the man has soul and his enthusiasm and genuine desire to reach out and touch people with the subject of his performances was genuine and appreciated. Rock on, Ted. I'll set up your snare drum anytime.

Dawn Cleary...I remember her well from that 70s era -crack me up - used to start with this old chestnut... "Hey...you want to get blessed?" - then proceed to mooch a cigarette...lol. She was a nice kid...married, wrote for The Way Mag for a while.

O Dannotobeseen...reminds me of a costume party I went to during my TWI time...it was a "biblical" costume party. When I showed up in a habit, complete with rosary, etc. they were stumped as to who I was supposed to be... I said to let me in, that I was, biblically speaking, Joshua's mom... ...they were perplexed. joshua, son of Nun

it was a costume party his choice was probably not a great one given his station and circumstance no one (except perhaps those at the party) know what he drank or how he spoke what's wrong with the costume in and of itself? Yes, it certainly pushes people's buttons but then virtually anything will ignite someone's hot spots somewhere somehow as our cyber soundingboard illustrates often Henry VIII, a gutted Wallace, a marauding Brit in 19th century Ireland, Attila the Hun, Joan 'd Arc, any serial killer...the Pope. Would dressing as a Luftwaffe officer or Rommel been okay? There's something to .... everyone off and who knows? maybe this royal undertaking was a pre-meditated feed the press excuse for attention. if he put something as non-descript as a black hefty bag over himself, how many people would take him to task? Could be giant raisin, or a royal dump, or parcelled rubbish for every indescretionary act taking life that ever occured. I think the fellow would have been press-beaten no matter how he dressed. If it were a masked costume party and no one knew his identity, would the choice have been less frowned upon? Bad taste is bad taste. Halloween costumes here are often wildly offensive...but we are often desensitized to those choices, and safe to say, probably no one we know personally is in line for the British crown, (wonder if he went as one of the murdered crown heirs that Dick 3 had offed would have been ok...) so is it okay to overlook the likes of myriad Freddy Krueger, or Jeffry Dahmer, Jesus, or Hitler type costumes seen over the years?

...and this just in from the newsworthiest source...or was it the wc wall? same thing... the queen's son's boxers sport "Kiss my royal Harry foot..." maybe he should have just painted himself orange and black and gone as a Monarch Butterfly...or showed up as an english muffin, squashed between two crown wannabees... Poor Chuck, he must be totally abashed by such brazen yutefulnez. At least the kid had the good sense not to to show up as Ann Boleyn.

Ask me and I'll tell no lies. I was a teenage pool shark. I was expelled from very fine schools. I once put a student in a half-nelson...and that was when I was a teacher... I know who LaMont Cranston is...mu wa hahahahaha I have never seen any of many of the most popular TV shows like Dynasty, Knots Landing, Friends ad nauseum, yet I know who the characters are...scares me. I know Maggie's act was not premeditated. I know who put the bop in the bop shew wap shew wop, but have reservations about naming the author of the ramma lamma ding dong My kid son is in love with a chubby Jewish girl I smoked Bel-Airs, Camels, Luckies, Winston, Marlboros, Kool Filter, Newports...but not at the same time...lol...and I ultimately quit, cold turkey, 26 yare ago. I visit the chat room when the lights are out and no one is there...that's where the cheesecake went.

Gramma Fey and Muzzie...what a team they were. They were my grandma and great-grandma. Muzzie had flaming red hair, but I only knew her when it was white. They lived together all their lives...Muzzie was widowed when my gramma was a baby, never remarried. My gramma was widowed with 5 kids when she was 40, never remarried. Shellbert! We were always taught to address folks with the title that accorded them...Mr., Mrs., Dr., etc....yet, my paternal grandparents were "Gus and Stella" to most. Gramma Stell and Gus, never Grandpa. Why? Cuz that's the way uh-huh he liked it uh-huh uh-huh...lol. ...and speaking of Greeks...doesn't "Gus and Stella" evoke mental images of babushkas and Greek immigrants? Hardly the case there since they were both as Irish as Cormac. :)-->

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Hammeroni! My family DID eat at a Chinese place this past Christmas Day since the place where I work was filled to the brim with merry-makers. Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-rara! Merry Peking Duck'sHead Christmas!

Christmas cheer found me in spite of myself this year. I didn't expect any, but got it anyway...lol...hate it when that happens. Feature if you will...having to work every nite including Christmas Eve and Christmas tending to "the merry throng." My mother-in-law was with us...uh-oh...and thank goodness. She doted on the kids, drove my husband nutz and...well, I had to work! :)--> Geo...mine husbondo and I exchange hardy hand shakes and a good-will nod of approval...whatever else we want or need, parallel or not, will turn up on a need basis whenever during the rest of the year. However, my creep mate did skunk me this year by gifting me with something I really like and didn't expect...crap...now I'll have to sign on for another year. Sheesh. Bah frickin humbug, man. So, does your desk calendar sing or have nakee ladies on it? If not...call me. lol.

Our Christmas tree decorations are decidedly bottom-heavy-they generally go up as Holly can reach.........and that's ok with me. She rummaged thru the heretofore perfectly stored ornament box and hung what she fancied...I told her stories about the ones she picked and it was neat. WHen it comes time to disassemble the spruce beastie, and ultimately to repack the ornaments in their proper anal arrangement for next year, I will probably spend time looking over the scores of others not hung and give them a secret promise that next year they will find a favored place. :)--> A funny side note: Some years back, pre-Holly...I was the on-camera spokeperson for the Boto Company; they are the Hong Kong manufacturers of most all the US artifical trees. The subject of the video (which was included in most tree sales from Sears and K-Mart one year) was how to assemble and plush your tree so it looks as nice as the store displays...lololololol....the video was great, but I gotta tell you that every year our tree is a totally non-Martha approved assemblage of stuff and more stuff...I should watch my own video...lolol. Another ~ secret: Hallmark's ornaments come out in July...I always look forward to that...the kids used to pick out one that could tell a story about us somehow...I usually got that one or two in the post holidaze sales. Among my favorites is a Scrooge ornament and the attendant Tiny Tim. They are special because for 12 years we made a substantial amount of our income producing and performing A Christmas Carol. Ok, so the year these ornaments came out, our sons picked those two and superglued them together because they "could only pick one ornament" and after all was said and done "they were a team." Oh yeah, and they superglued the things while in the store...but that's another story.

:)--> A fella came in from the cold (no pun intended) the other nite to announce there was snow in the forecast...he was sooooo excited...I hesitated to point out that the weather station was talking about Vermont, NOT south Florida...lol It could happen...lol...pass the iceskates, Splitfoot...

Morgan was five when he did the Santa math: "Do you see any chimneys around here that a fat man could jump down?" "Do you know how many people live in Chicago? and Chicago is bigger than Florida..." We never had to say much of anything about the veracity of Mr. Claus...this is the same kid that when the Tooth Fairy paid him his first visit he came bolting into the den to announce his good fortune...a buck for one tooth.....(light bulb over the head)..."...hey Mom, how many teeth do I have, anyway?" The Easter Bunny never stood a chance...lol. But there was a serious discussion about how many jelly beans a rabbit can hold in its paws ergo...the E.B. probably not being able to cover the same ground as Santa, hence, no real Easter Bunny. But he, like his younger brother, Reid, and little sislette, Holly (these daze) lived the myth cuz it's nice and can be lucrative...lol. We never ceased saying "Merry Christmas" or forsook any of the traditional mythage and tradition that accompanies most seasons... and no one ever breathed down our necks about it... altho I am well aware of the prevailing sentiments that started all that cow frenzy herd mentality mindless subscription. Happy Household...eek...HaHoHol...uh-oh...danger, Will Robinson... Merry Toofy Christmas, Easter Bunnies...bawk bawk!

dew dew dew dew...dew dew dew dew... ...picture if you will... Big blow up inflatable snowmen and santas on the lawn, white stuff sprayed on Floritan yards, electric skeletal reindeer art, not forgetting to put on sunscreen before putting up yard lights... ...ah, the sunshine state! This much I'll say...they decorate houses, palm trees and giant sprucey things here with real gusto...it is mostly an electric light showcase, but daytime yard deco consists of the 2-D white reindeer and sleigh cutouts. This SW coast of Florida is heavily peopled with folks from places where the dirt is black, notably Illinois, Michigan, Ohio and the like...flocks and flocks of flocking snowbirds (Canadians) and a heavy dose of Germans visit seasonally. It is a pretty paradise here where people are dying (literally) to be, but it is, well...a place where realtors are worse than any sharks and land developers make agitated alligators look tame...lol...everybody and their brother is (or plans to be) a mortgage broker...a tropical feeding frenzy for the moneymuckers. ...my mother-in-law is here for the holidaze and I am working Christmas Eve and Day. Hold me. lol

Bah-hahaha-ma Mama Humbug! I am presently off to work in the Tiki Bar... blech I miss my snowy roots. Clickin' my heels three times...no go. Rats.

..back to you, Chet...

This could be a good thing... My first wisdom tooth that made alot of noise was swollen too much to be extracted...so my Uncle (who was my dentist) irrigated it, told me to go home and enjoy a cocktail til the swelling went down... ...guess we took it a little too literally cuz nine months later...ta-da!...there was Morgan. The first page of Morgan's baby book holds the X-ray of the tooth...his root beginnings...lol. You'll do fine...dentristry has evolved into a near painless art. ("Is it safe yet...?") Good luck.

ahem...I am inordinately well read and relatively witty...good looking and a young looking @#&$^$%# year old. I swim, shoot a mean game of stick, bowl, ride horses (on carousels)and tend bar in a very nice place that allows educated women with a history to pour. Scrabble is an addiction. I have overcome chocolate. I am a former CEO of a Theatre production company and have stock in Walmart....okay, my son has stock in Walmart...but I bought it for him and he's going to college now cuz Sam's done good these past years. I can outrun the police and know the numbers to three good cab companies. I launder well and my children are paid for. A screenplay is being held hostage in North Hollywood that may pan out and afford air passage to wherever this fellow is. Can I bring my husband? PT me...whatever that means...lol. X M

The Titanicreference reminded me of a pathetic, but amusing, moment in my college classroom a few years back... ...all the buzz was about this movie and going to see it...when I was given over to talk about it for a minute (it was a Theatre class), I was loudly interrupted by a teenage co-ed NOT to talk about it, she hadn't seen it, it would ruin the experience... ...I told her the boat sank. She was crestfallen. lololol On a similar note...While in Chicago a few years back, my family and I did get to see the travelling Titanic Exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry...it was very interesting as well as moving.

lol..yes..."any stranger" would never do...

Wow...just when you thought it was safe to go in the water...another birthday arrives...lol. Thank you for your well wishes...makes me smile. It also reminds me of all the b-daze and the like that I note but do not acknowledge. Lo shonta, man! X St. M