I Love Bagpipes

Thanks for the responses. Its helps me remember that this too shall pass. I thought today after I posted, "It is like I am self absorbed. I've been "here" before, when I was getting well. (note: I suffered from chronic illness for over 25 years.) I'd be self absorbed when symptoms would flare. Hmmmm...what did I do then? I told myself, 'It's understandable.' " I'd handle it different ways at different times. Sometimes I'd see a doctor of some sort. Sometimes I'd exercise. I'd journal a lot. Sometimes I'd talk. Sometimes I'd watch a show/movie. Sometimes I'd play a musical instrument or draw. Sometimes I'd cook. Sometimes I'd even embrace the symptoms and not fight them, but sort of allow them to run the course..to get out of me. Today I think posting my problem helped me: to clarify and to know that someone out there would care enough to respond. (I've found a new help aid!!!! Maybe I should start a blog.... ) Back to your responses: Thank you all for the encouragement regarding counseling. I've had much counseling the past 6 years with the health issues I've dealt with. I have two pyshcologists I am close with and that know me well...they have helped me tremendously in overcoming the illnesses with which I dealt. I've seen them each during this exodus journey. It has been some help, but not as much as GSC or CFF or other folks I've connected with along the way. There is a bond, an understanding, that goes beyond words...I guess like the divorce support group. I thought that a unique approach Wayfernot. Thank you Morgan for reminding my of the strength within. Likeaneagle I also thought of giving today after I posted..when I thought of the self absorbed thingee. I was gonna go shopping and make a big supper for the fam...but my back went out. But at least I got the shopping done and we ate soup and grilled cheese. :) Funny Bramble and Outofdafog I thought about that performance based stuff too after I posted. I thought, "Hell, maybe all this stuff (responsiblities) are not all I make them out to be. Lighten up. The bills are paid; the sheets are clean; we have food and clothes and warmth; God smiles on me." I can look at GSC as one of my hobbies for now; instead of looking at is as being self absorbed. It will run its course and I'll move on to some other obsession. Or maybe GSC can be a way I can help others later on. Belle thanks for your empathy and oh I know the loneliness feeling. My heart goes out to you. I felt lonely inside TWI..and I felt a hypocrite. I told myself after I left, "Well at least now I feel only lonely instead of lonely and a hypocrite." I've been blessed to connect with folks within an hour and so drive and much of that lonliness is gone. In fact I connected with folks yesterday who I haven't seen in 10 years!! I had a grand reunion. I literally stayed gone all day (10:00 am until 10:00 pm). (I WILL NOT FEEL GUILTY about taking that time to help mend relationships of 10 years past. It's IMPORTANT. Isn't it?) My prayers are with you too Belle. GSC chat has helped my loneliness at times also. So...thank again. I'm feeling better. Maybe this chunk is about to crumble....and the next chunk will come along. Well...bring it on!

Wow LG....I never really thought about how wrong that doctrine might be....You can only go as far as you've been taught. That will be fun to chew on for a few days. Ckm, I am trying to empathize with you. I hear tones of frustration in your posts. Do you remember the phrase "learning is an exciting adventure?" I always liked that one. Learning is learning, whether it is the Bible or scientific fields. It still happens the same way....some of which is observation and comparison - over & over & over again. God has intrinsically designed our brains and hearts to pick up signals, to learn and to grow...whether we are born again or not. Humans are designed to learn; it is innate. IMO the comparison of scientific discoveries and biblical/spiritual discoveries coincide. This comparison is not off topic if the topic is about learning the Word. God (Who is the Word) designed this earth and the universe and the written Word and the living Word (Jesus Christ) and our own hearts to teach us. He is not limited to His Word to teach us..He is a personal God. Yes we learn His heart via His Word (written and the personal relationship through JC); I believe that. That being said, God is bigger than His Word and can work in ways that we do not always understand in order for us to discover and learn.

As stated on some other posts of mine, I recently exited TWI after 28 years. I've talked with some of you via phone, email, pming, and in chat. I am thankful for all the help in clearing the many cobwebs. I know folks are different and have different layers to work through in regaining a balance. Talking in one of my recent and wonderful reunions, I and my friend discussed how healing happens in layers. I stated the stuff for me seems to come in chunks instead of layers. I'll try to put into words what I am bothered about. I'm going along feeling pretty normal , then this great big hunk of intrusion and preoccupation goes THUD, "I'm back! ". And then say 5 days in a row I'm consumed with it all (my TWI past) :unsure:, sometimes wanting to read all day, write all day, spend hours upon hours on GSC. Then I'll have maybe 5 days when life is normal , so to speak. I think, "Okay, I'm getting a handle on this stuff." Then THUD :blink: another chunk. And oftentimes it seems like its the same old chunk. When will it ever end? Sometimes it seems I have TWI detox in every cell of my body (and I guess I do). I have difficult times (in chunks, like I said) with performing my routine tasks. I've been negelectful toward simple stewardship of my responsibilities :( (going to bed at a decent hour, making sure chores are accomplished, keeping up with the budget stuff for the house, eating and exercising properly, job performance). My life isn't "falling apart," but at some point this preoccupation must end. I've been understanding with myself telling myself that it is just for a season...to allow myself this space to stumble around and allow stuff to unfold..to try to go with it when it appears, when it says, "I'm here again!" I don't like the preoccupation and I want (at least I think I want) it to END. I'm just looking for others' personal insights on "recovery" (I don't even like calling it recovery). Did any of you have difficulty with consumed preoccupation with all this STUFF? Could you share practical hints on how you handled it? :blink:

I've never been RC, but left TWI in the past few months. I've thought about the comparison in the same way as you stated in your original post STL. The difference between RC & TWI (from my limited media knowledge and some literary historical knowledge) is that once the RC abuses were exposed (via the media) action was taken to counsel people; the RCs had to acknowledge the facts...and the RCs did something to try to reconcile the abuses. Did they do it to keep $$ flowing in, to save face, or with genuine sorrow? Probably all three. TWI has not acknowledged the abuses, and barely acknowledges its past. IN TWI IT IS LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED and even if it did "PEOPLE NEED TO GROW UP, GET OVER IT, AND MOVE ON" without any closure or remorse from the guilty party. The victim is victimized again (as stated in Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse).

Thanks for your responses. ROFLMAO Socks. That was hilarious!! Patriot this was sent to all folks who "qualify" as AC Candidates. I had similar thoughts. Thank you for articulating the "air of permission" for me. It's like we (TWI) are affording you the privilege. Like this knowledge is only available for some elite classification of people. If you don't measure up, you are not worthy to attend. I am not sure about the debt policy. It has not been PUBLICALLY removed. But then mark & avoid was never publically removed. It is like it just disappeared and followers are supposed to figure it out...or ask. Why not just tell people instead of putting them in the uncomfortable position of having to ask Is it some sort of big damn secret!?! (Apologies...just all of sudden I'm *%^#*ed off about it! ) So from your responses, I'm not reading into the letter. Sometimes my emotional responses get jumbled up. I wonder am I thinking evil; am I jumping to a conclusion. Part of this comes from my relationship and previous encounters with the author(s) of this letter. But then that is part of the manipulation....the individual, not the system, is at fault. If the individual doesn't fit in the neatly ordered box, something must be wrong with the indiviual. (again!) Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you...for helping me clarify and allow this anger to surface. That's what I clam up. ..the frustration, the anger. When I read the letter it just turned my stomach. I reread and thought, "Well, it's not an evil letter. What is it that bothers me so much about it?" It's the hoops, the assumptions, the belittling, the "air of permission". Freedom....ahhhh...it tastes better and better.

Just to clarify Bob Darnell's teaching....he doesn't teach the tithe in "Deliberate Giving." Rev. Darnell's teaching is similar to what Raf wrote in his sharing. It is determined by each person as he purposeth in his heart and that the liberal soul will be blessed. The emphasis (to me when I heard Bob's teaching) is deliberation and my relationship with God, my personal Father. Bob did not mention a minimum required.

Following are excerpts from a January, 2006, local letter to Advanced Class candidates in the local Branch. As I read it my stomach sort of tied in a knot and my emotions "clammed up." :( Am I reading into what is written (being that I so recently left), or do I read legalism? If it is legalistic, what is legalistic about it? Is it the monthly updates? Is it treating people like adolescents? Is it the hoop jumping required in order to receive instruction in God's Word? :unsure: I'm interested in others reactions/response when they read this. (I'm also interested, like I stated, if I am reading legalism into this letter or is it simply a requirement of an organization to be fulfilled in order to participate in a given program.) :blink: Letter excerpts: January, 2006 Dear Candidate/Parent, God's richest blessings to you this day in the name that is above all names, Jesus Christ. We are 17 months from the start of Advanced Class 2007. .... ....As you know there are several steps that must be completed in order for you to attend. Included in this letter is the list of requirements that must be completed for this major event in your life. Our goal and believing is for all of the candidates to attend this fantastic Advanced Class. The class will allow each candidate the opportunity to be fully instructed in the manifestations, thus allowing each of you the privilege to grow beyond your wildest expectations as you put this wonderful Word on in your daily walk. We ask that you update us on a monthly basis concerning the following requirements for the Advanced Class: - Savings for the Advanced Class tuition and meal plan. Registration deadline - Feb. 1, 2007 - Hotel - Vehicle Fuel - Snacks - Spending money - A dark suit for the men - A nice dress fro the ladies - Casually nice clothes (no jeans) - Complete academic requirements, including the Home Studies - Faithfully participate in household fellowship on a regular basis We also recommend the candidates participating in Foundational, Intermediate and Defeating the Adversary classes whenever available. (We) are here to assist, encourage and help you attain the goal of becoming an Advanced Class graduate. We look forward to a great 17 months of believing together to attain this worthwhile goal. End of excerpts. 17 months of reporting back and of prepartation to take a 2 week class? Is it me or is that out of balance? Thanks for you insights!

Houndog, did you peruse "Beirut...." book yet? Gillian, I do hope also that DJS is still hanging around. It's a lot to take in at one time. Sometimes it can sound like folks are not moving on after being hurt by TWI. That just shows how deep the hurt has been. DJ, someone may have mentioned this already...at some point you may want to look at the book "Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse". It is NOT a book about being a victim, but a book about the subtleties of legalism and abuse and the damage it wreaks in peoples' lives, a book about breaking the silence so healing can happen, a book about grace, a book about one's own relationship with God. I stated in my last post that I would post my exit conversation with leadership. I've pondered whether or not to do that. I question myself as to why I want to post it. :unsure: Am I posting it to vent? Am I just trying to spread some sort of evil thinking? Am I posting it to help anyone? Would it help anyone? What would the profit be in posting it? Is it edifying commuication? Am I being nit picky? Am I just being bitter,vindictive, or gossipy? Am I trying to prove something? (Perhaps all this questioning of my motives is part of the instilling from TWI? Breaking the cover mode of operation is a hard thing to do. :( ) I don't know the answers to all these questions I posed to myself. :blink: However, in light of the topic, "Has TWI II Really Changed", the post might be helpful. Perhaps a good thread would be about exit strategies....but there may already be a thread like that in the archives...or somewhere. Suffice it to say, I put much thought and prayer and journaling and some planning into my "notice" to the leadership. I thought of every possible response from leadership, and every single response was posed. (My conversation was with a region leader.) A few hurtful things were said to me..but not in an accusing tone, most of it was in a heartfelt, caring tone. I almost second guessed myself. However, two things said in the course of the conversation were signals loud & clear that I had made the right choice. Even these two statements were stated in that heartfelt, caring tone. Sometime I might post more of the conversation. (Of course I journaled it after the talk.) The two loud & clear statements to me from leadership (close to verbatim): 1. "......But just so you know, most people who leave do not come back." 2. "It is not a prayerful decision. I believe if it was then your choice would have been to stay with us." (This was stated toward the end of the conversation. I had stated at the beginning of the discourse that I had put lots of thought & prayer into this decision.) With statement #1 above, leadership hung themselves. Statement #2 made it loud and clear that the thinking is still that outside of TWI God's blessings are limited, if not all together unavailable. Other inferences made to me: >Perhaps I wasn't giving enough. >By leaving I would disrupt the unity in my family. >I (not the ministry) am responsible for my spiritual nourishment. >If I have felt pressure that is not the heart of the leadership or the ministry. >That I lied when stating that I had put much thought & prayer into this decision. Other statements were that s/he respected my decision & choice, that I was welcome at fellowship anytime, and that they love me. I stated that I love them too. (Perhaps that is why I struggle whether to post this or not, because I do love these folks...don't I?) So it was a conversation laced with sincerity (which I believe was real) and "accusations" (which I do not believe were intended to be accusations, but were intended as confrontations). There was genuine care and concern. Yet, it is obvious IMHO that elitist thinking still prevails and that TWI (in its thinking) owes no apologies.

10-4 Hap...Wasn't quite sure..so thought I'd clarify. BTW, I really don't have anything against telemarketers. Try not to harbor much against anyone. It ain't good for my health. Still separating the "harboring" regarding TWI though. Separating healthy clarity/anger/realization from bitterness/resentment/etc. Sometimes that gets fuzzy.. (confused icon): (which this old 95 computer just won't put on the screen. ;) We have an xp, but son is using it. I've gotten spoiled with that new xp. :) ) Unlike many folks, I had very good times in TWI. Those I miss but hold fondly in my soul. When my spouse's dad died someone sent a sympathy card with some good advice. "Laugh hard. Cry hard. And remember the good times." Hmmmmm, haven't thought about it until now...in regards to the fuzz I am working through with TWI. Yet I don't want to forget the abuse that has gone on...don't want pesonal history to repeat itself... (well looky there....some icons!!)

(My old Windows 95 ran out of room to keep posting...I'll continue): S: They are so stuck.... M: Reminds of a 1 or so years ago when _____ told me he went to that new lady's house to share with her that if she wants healing she need to tithe. M: I hated myself for not speaking up. At least I talked to the HFC to see if she knew about it. (BTW: She said she did know about it and that _____ was wrong to tell me about it. I asked about the lady because I hadn't seen her around...that's when ____ told me. I was shell shocked when he told me that he and another person had done that. But I didn't say anything to him.....grrrr...still kick myself for that...) That was the end of the conversation with spouse about the teaching. So.....TWI II has changed in that it doesn't hollar anymore....but the same legalistic doctrines are being propounded. Clarity for me and good reminder of one reason I left.. I know this happens in other organizations as well...legalism. Just thought ya'll might want an update..on some of the current TWI III weekly teaching topics and has TWI II really changed..... (Daggum this old computer!!!) Next post will be about my exit conversation with leadership...just 3 months ago.

I keep posting here...I guess because I left so recently. Sometimes I get confused, thinking about the good folks in TWI, thinking maybe I've been too harsh in my mind sometimes. And sometimes I have. And other times I remember the good stuff. Anyway, I was reminded last night...that I TWI II is still stuck in its legalism and elitism. Here' the story: S = Spouse M= Me (Spouse still attends TWI fellowships, but is on the outskirts now, really evaluating. Spouse is a good person, so please don't be harsh toward spouse for hanging with TWI. (God knows I have been in my head...but have to remember it took me a long time to see the light.) ) M: Who taught tonight? S: ____ and ____ (with a small groan in spouse's voice) M: What'd they teach on? S: ABS (anoher small groan) (M rolls eyes as to communicate, a disheartened "oh") S: ______ taught that in order do operate impartation manies and to really reach spiritual heights one need to be ABS. (painstaking groan..indicating it was hard to sit through) M: (growl) S: They are so stuck.... M:

We are on the do not call list as well. We do get the survey questions...and some charitable solicitation calls. Somehow we get the recorded calls sometimes. That really seems like a waste of time and money. I don't have anything against sales people. My mom, dad, brother, sister, and myself have all been in sales at one time or another. What I don't like are PUSHY salespeople, or someone trying to convince me that I NEED something. I just thought this was one of the funniest telemarketer stories I had ever heard. Shocked the hell out of my friend! She really wasn't trying to be "nasty", just felt goofy that night. What a hoot!!!

This is a true story. It happened to a friend of mine. The phone rings and she answers. It is a telemarketer. She is feeling pretty goofy that evening, so she screams and says OMG!! and hangs up the phone. About 15 minutes later bluelights are flashing in her driveway. Two law officers ring the doorbell. The family is eating supper and thinks something bad must have happened down the street or something. Hubby answers the door. Police: "Good evening sir' Hubby: Good evening. P: We had a phone call that someone hear may be in distress. H: What? P: A salesperson said they phoned this home and a woman screamed in distress and hung up. H: (Starts laughing) Oh my gosh. That was my wife. We had no idea that the person would call the police. Everything is fine here. P: Glad of that sir. But we still need to talk to your wife. (to make sure hubby was telling the truth) That was one conscientious marketer! Well, my friend no longer responds that way to telemarketers.

I thought it a good read Houndog. Didn't expect it to confront me regarding TWI though. I'm not politically savvy but wanted to understand the Middle East a little better. Saw someone reading it and inquired about it. Then read it. Some of it reads like (how I think) a Tom Clancey novel might be. Friedman lived through the stuff. Makes one appreciate freedom again. WW..quite a signature. I still grapple with the silence stuff. It still pierces me...because I did it. And I'm still battling it. I'm working through stuff. I know it will take time. I'm working through learning to NOT be silent, to regain/maintain my integrity...to trust myself, my heart, my intuition, my gut, God working in me, all that stuff. Someone told me that my action of leaving is breaking the silence....that that action speaks louder than I may realize...

I came up with an exercise I called "thought records" to help me to see/think objectively. I devised it from different books I read. You figured it out without a book!!! I had to read 4 books and pay someone before I could figure it out! :blink: But at least I finally figured it out.... I was just thinking yesterday, "I'm starting to love the taste of freedom...freedom from guilt!! It feels so good!!"

Yeah!!!! Beautiful!!

Thanks Rascal for articulating why you pushed those thoughts out. I haven't been able to put it down like you did...must be part of the reason it took me so long to get my contemplation out on paper. Fear that the adversary would get in my head. ...that's hard to admit....hard to admit the dishonesty with myself and with folks I love. Ouch :( Thanks for bringing that stuff to mind and helping me continue to sort through some healing. BTW: I had been in cognitive/talk therapy for about 2 years before that entry. Took awhile to get deep enough, to get some layers off, before I could handle it. Never wanted the ministry to be blamed...figured I was the problem.

I was persusing my journal this morning in light of remembering where I was when getting brave enough to really consider deeply TWI.(I know I a considering deeply when I get out of my head and onto paper.) I came upon the following entry. I realize I make myself vulnerable by posting this. Please remember the context in which it was written...an innie whose life had been TWI for over 2 decades, an innie who had (for the most part) "good" leadership, an innie who wanted TWI to change, and innie who (with spouse) wanted the kids to have the Word. Some may wonder why it took so long to express this stuff in my journaling; but that is a long story. I post this to help DJS think, if DJS is still lurking. DJS I left TWI just within the past few months. BTW, journaling hs changed my life on many levels... Side note: This entry was written before ever even going to the web and doing a search on TWI. I had heard some of JAL tapes way back in 1986(?) so knew some of the VPW accusations. This entry is May, 03. I did not view GSC until September, 03. I did not exit until October, 05. Also Dr. S is not a TWIer. "5/09/03: ...I saw Dr. S today...It was good to see him. I discussed my contemplations regarding TWI. I had a hard time putting what I have been feeling into words. Somehow I got some of it out. He stated 2 truths: 1) When it is time for me to go another spiritual path...I will know and 2) My journey is between God and ME....no one else. In talking with him I thought perhaps I can help myself by writing about what some of my thoughts are. But I am not sure where to even begin. I guess I will simply begin & see where I start and where I end up. This exercise is not to come up with concise information or answers. Some of what I write does not mean I agree with what I write or that I believe or disbelieve what I write. These are simply just going to be thoughts. How do I describe the feelings I have been going through? Some of my thoughts have been questions. Is the ministry becoming self serving? There is so much push for outreach now. Why not just teach principles for deliverance instead of standards to meet? The Way Disciples have to witness to so many people to get a few people thru the class. Why not open up the doors to the vast amount of knowledge we have available? Why not sell our books in places like Borders? Why not sell our materials via the internet? Why not openly confront the accusations agaist Dr. W and the Ministry? Why not issue a formal apology for some of the immoral activities? Why not lift the mortgage issue allowing people without condemnation to pursue their goals and dreams? Not just mortgage but small business loans and car loans as well, as well as some student loans? Does God really require the tithe or to let each person determine the amount they want to give? Why make classes and functions so much work? Why not keep the work simple? Why questions people's motives or integrity or sincerity? Has prejudice replaced wisdom? In other words when a person makes judgements they believe "spiritually wise" is that really the case or is it because of prejudice? When people (believers) claim that God tells them something is that the case or is it simply intuition and common sense? My hunch is that unless the Way Internationl opens wide its door, it is going to disintegrate. It needs to change to allow growth from within without compulsion. I sense that it is pushing to grow. I sense that it is stifling growth by overmanagement, micromangement, and by not being in tune to the needs of society. I could be all wrong..time will tell, probably within 15 years. In the meantime I'll continue to hang around. I will continue my self help studies and I will continue to read the Word. I'll continue to get to know my heart again and have it become my best friend." End of entry. There have been lots of journal entries since then...and I didn't wait 15 years to see what would happen. Funny, I remember I was almost afraid to write out these thoughts...in my own personal jounal!!!! In shorhand!!! My, the influence TWI has had over people's personal lives.... :unsure:

Vaccinations are such a touchy subject....sometimes as volatile as the trinity. Germs can cause disease, but we probably give them too much credit. Why does one person get sick when exposed and another doesn't? Is it partly heredity, part immune system build up? How much does breast feeding and cellular memory come into play? How much does attitude play? I will attest that my high schoolers have never had an antibiotic. One has never even had a drug, other than some novocaine at the dentist. The other one has only had some ibeprofren now & then due to sports. But they have been sick. Probably the worst illness the kids ever dealt with was when my daughter was sick; she had scarlatina (like scarlet fever below the waist?). The kids got flus and colds and such. But we treated them herbally/homepathically/nutritionally/prayerfully. They rarely ever get sick anymore. Actually it has probably been a couple years since they've had anything other than a sniffle. I don't preach this (and no one hear sounds like they are preaching) to anyone. (Like I said, it is a touchy subject.) But I do let people know from time to time about some stuff we have done/are doing. Books I have used to help guide our family are How to Raise A Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor, Nutritional Medicine, The Complete Handbook of Homeopathy, America Journal for Family Medicine and a few others. Plus I always sought out good MDs whenever we have moved (which has been frequently). I would call and ask if they allow complimentary interviews at the practice with the doctor. Every place except one said yes...and I didn't bother with that one. Bedside manner is one of the main ingredients for me in working with a healthcare practioner. We also have had professional homeopaths alongside the MDs. We DO wash out hands regularly. I believe it is a very simple way to help ward off bad rascals. And the kids drink mainly water with occasional soda. We also take nutrional whole food shakes and occasional supllements. But we aren't purists. Last night we had a party with Dominoes, chocalte moose cake from COSTCO, soda, along with raw veggies and some pineapple and fruit. Of course I pay for that stuff around the waistline..

Krysilis, Thank you for explaining why it is timely. I had never read the Top 10. ;) BP

Why is this "quite timely" Belle? (Sometimes stuff just goes right over my head.) Does anyone know what Teknon's final decision was? Thanks BP

Thanks for the coffee!! (and the joyful tears Belle!!) Blessings, BP

I write this in light of DJS's post. I left TWI within the last few months; I had been involved for decades. IMO, there is a definite TWI I, TWI II, TWI III. Though I was WOW, in the Corps (though I dropped), and on staff (though I left), I was never "personally" abused,. During all this time I still maintained an ability to think for myself and pour my soul out to God. About six years ago I began journaling, and my life began to change. In the course of journaling stuff came up....suppressed emotions. I began to read LOTS to gain insight and answers. (This is going somewhere.) During TWI II, the confrontation days. (YUK!), it was hard to read my Bible without feeling like I wasn't good enough. ...so I read other stuff and kept Jer. 29:29 in my thoughts. ("Know the thoughts I think of you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.") I went to a believer psychologist about 10 times and the person did help me, even recommended some books. I wanted healing. Then TWI III....the silence dropped....and it still continues. For the last 3(?), 4(?), 5(?) years there has been little passion. Real life issues are not discussed, but are covered over with scripture and a pretend peace. People are not truly free to express their opinions without fear of being looked upon as not having it together. There is still an "us" and "them" attitude. There is still the attitude of being the true household of God, and those who have left are deceived and outside fellowship with the Father. And in leadership meetings talk still goes on: "How is so-and-so doing?" "Well, they are not ABSing. They don't call me for help so something must be up." One of the major problems I had was this silence. TWI went from verbal abuse to neglect. All of sudden people are just supposed to move on with their lives like nothing ever happened. There has been no closure. It is like the past never existed, never even acknowledged. From what I observed the pretend peace, the silence, is NOT confined to local leadership. The legalism is confined to the local leadership; some fellowships are open and loving and some are still beating folks to live up to unrelenting standards. People's personal lives are not managed, but the talk (among leadership) and judgemental attitudes still continue. Here is a quote from a book I read a few years ago by Thomas Friedman entitled "From Beirut to Jerusalem". The context is in light of how modern day Israel dealt with the Holocaust until the Holocaust was resurrected in 1961 at the trial of the Nazi war criminal Adolf Otto Eichmann. "..In those day we barely learned about the Holocaust in school. The feeling, the whole atmosphere, was that the future must triumph over the past. All of us, parents & kids, tried to cover up what had happened." Those lines pricked my soul when I read them; I was one of those parents (in light of TWI). Who was it that said something like if the past is not remembered it will be repeated? Another quote from the same book: "And so...the play went on...Israeli's talking to the world about their 'enlightened' occupation, and then doing anything they had to do, behind closed doors, to keep the Palestinians quiet." I left because my joy was gone and it was effecting my family. I write now with tears rolling down my cheeks because my joy is back. I have found again my first love. I'm still struggling, but I awake each morning without the hole in my soul. (PS: I have continued to journal now for 6 years and have seen a psychologist (not a Way believer) for 5 years and I still read a lot. All of that has helped me to come to the place I am now. I don't need the psychologist now. I saw her for my final visit recently.) All this to say... for some of us, TWI has waited too long to change. I am not convinced there has been real change, heart change. There have been behavioral changes, but have these been made for survival purposes...to keep the system going? Has the system become self serving? Is the system really interested in helping others, in helping people heal emotionally, physically, mentally? If so, the system needs to open its doors wide...but then it might fall apart because of legal issues. Time for coffee. ;)

Thanks for the info. I feel I owe an apology to those who received settlements out of court. My thinking was not that they were wrong for settling the matter the way they did; in fact, I applaud them for speaking up. Actually my thinking when posting was that if I entitled my inquiry "Hush Money" I'd get some folks to look at the thread so I could maybe get my question answered. I guess a better title would have been "Restoration Money", though I know that $$ cannot restore the things that took place. But it can at least help make life easier and help pay for the professional counsel, etc., needed to help heal the wounds. Thanks again!

This is a fun thread. Ours is artificial with a hodge podge of ornaments. We started something years ago that is really cool. But if you decide to do it..you have to send me royalties for every postcard you laminate. Here it is: Years ago I read to buy Christmas ornaments as souveniers (how do you spell that word?) when you visit somewhere. Well, I sprungboard that idea into this one. When we go somewhere each kid (and myself..hubby's not into it) buys a postcard. We each write on the postcards (something about our trip) and mail them to ourselves. Later I laminate them and punch a hole in each one for a Christmas decoration. We hang them on the tree and the banister amongst the greenery. I still continue this tradition. (My kids are now teens.) My mother-in-law literally travels the world and sends us postcards from all over the place. I do the same with hers. She gets so blessed and loves it. When guests visit our house they always ask about the cards...and peruse them. It's a meaningful, inexpensive Christmas tradition. Now...contact me for my address so you know where to send the royalties!! Another favorite Christmas ornament are my husbands baby shoes...from the 1950's...white with laces and his birthdate in gold on the bottoms. And up until this year, we have made a gingerbread house each year. They are lots of fun if you like puzzles and construction. You know...like carving exotic Haloween pumpkins.