excathedra

it f'ing sucks. if i took a class (yeah right) what frikkin class would i take ?

i am sooooooooooooo frustrated. i used to be somewhat computer / technically knowledgeable. when did it all go downhill?

I still don't have a desire to rejoin the group, but as I understand it, several women have been relieved that they've had the opportunity to share their own real life experiences with wierwille and/or martindale.

so who can invite me?

why oh why can't i get youtube videos to stop stuttering?

i don't know if i can read anymore

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i post the songs on here and they play perfectly

dear tech gods help me

if i got on that site somehow with my facebook name, would other people (from my high school) be able to see that i was on that weird secret place ?

or do i have to do another facebook identity?

thank you

corps night out on the field

time to find out who f'd up the most and is OUT

such fond memories

i hope you might find comfort in thinking about god knowing the true hearts of these lovely people

as far as "the way" goes, fruck 'em all

Anyway, my family member who was in the earlier Corps days, decided to PROVE this statement IN REAL TANGIBLE WAYS.

So, him and his buddy who fixed cars for HQ , decided that they were going to start GIVING FREE auto repair service to ''the Household" during a period of about 3 months.

They gave their time, expertise and supplies (money) repeadedly to anyone who needed their car fixed.

Needless to say, they couldn't pay their bills anymore, and not once did "God" bless them back with money falling out of the sky or free tools or food on the table.

They were very disappointed. The confusion that set in only made them look inward as if something was wrong with their believing along with it

i would like to humbly mention that this beautiful soul relative of yours might be (and hopefully please dear god) in for a glorious phenomenal awakening in the future. also, please tell them how touched i am for their kindness.

we were told a lot of untrue things. in my own case, wierwille told me how much it would mean to god if i healed his little d-i-c-k - you get my gist

oh my sweet little darling bliss i love you so much

this song below helped me when i was a young teen

i wish i had answers but believe it or not i think a day is coming with answers

that's just me the old blind faith gal

you are a beautiful soul

oh christ where do we begin with the human

ps. your post broke my heart - something i've learned to live with for a long time. i love you. i'm sorry.

i'll sing this when i meet my savior

Here is my song for the asking

Ask me and I will play

So sweetly, I'll make you smile

This is my tune for the taking

Take it, don't turn away

I've been waiting all my life

Thinking it over, I've been sad

Thinking it over, I'd be more than glad

To change my ways for the asking

Ask me and I will play

All the love that I hold inside

i'm joking really it's for your guys

my savior is so tired of hearing very me i can't tell him anything new

bliss! it is so good to see you and you dear kit

so my 82 year old mom still tells me she will get to heaven and st. peter ushers her right in and she asks him what! don't i have to go to purgatory first and suffer for all of my sins? and he says where do you think you just came from?

why did veepig like him? as if i didn't disrespect veepee enough already

when i buzzed veepee at HQ to report that nutgeer for destroying people, veepee didn't deny it - he just screamed at me

then when we flew one of those destroyed corps grads over from britain, veepee, donnie, craig, finnegan.... no one had the balls to defend him against psychogeer

broke my heart and my friend's heart so much worse

some of these people should pay a price for hurting destroying lives

oh they have brochures ?

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well as far as this call-in corps night BS at least now there are smart phones

maybe you can be at your favorite movie or lover's house whatever and still hook in

i thank you

it means so much

love

can't believe this piece of crap is still out there

love ya, roy

you are soooooooooo not the only one, broken

h.e. actually came up to me and grabbed my.... and said "so young and firm" what a frikkin pig

did i leave then ? NOOOOOOOOOO

and then the crap i saw and experienced with wierwille, martindale, and MANY various leaders....

did i leave then ? NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

i've asked god why it was able to bring me closer to him and at the same time get me raped ?

no clue until i saw excathedra and then i googled kari byrom and she is some kind of a myth buster

so thank you

honestly, i have never done anything here (well i've had fun) except tell what happened to me with wierwille and other leaders of that insignificant cult which was very significant to me back then

The Maidens Group

Tornambe said she first met Barnard when she was 9. Living in Pennsylvania, her parents had been following his ministry and home schooling their children. The family visited Minnesota a lot, she said, and eventually moved to join the congregation near Finlayson when she was 11.

They lived and worked there and had little contact with the outside world, she said.

It became clear sometime after her name was called at the meeting with the congregation that her move to live with Barnard was intended to be permanent. “My parents dropped me off July 23, 2000,” Tornambe said. “Victor had us celebrate it every year, it was like our anniversary.”

Within about a month of the move, she said, Barnard talked to her about sex. He used terms she didn’t understand, and he grew angry about it, thinking she was lying about not understanding. She said he raped her for the first time then and continued sexually assaulting her over the course of nine years. The frequency varied from about once a month to about five times a month, she said.

“If I wasn’t being spiritual or following his orders, he wouldn’t have sex with us,” she said. “If we were doing well, it was almost like he rewarded us.” She rarely saw her parents, though they lived only about 5 miles away, she said.

The complaint says that females ages 12 to 24 were in the Maidens Group and that Barnard would preach to them about giving themselves to God and never marrying. They were sometimes called “Alamoth,” a biblical word referencing virginity, the document says. Barnard taught the girls that he represented Jesus and that he had left his wife and children to live on camp property, telling the larger congregation that the move was so he could dedicate himself to God.

Tornambe said she tried to leave the group once, when she was 15. Barnard took back a ring, a veil and other gifts he had given her before she went home to her parents, she said, and her mother cried for a week with disappointment. When Barnard called clergy members, the maidens and their parents together for a meeting shortly afterward, he talked about damnation from God. Fearful, Tornambe went back with Barnard.

“I was really scared, and I didn’t know what receiving damnation from God would be like,” she said. “I ended up just staying.”

Robbed of childhood

On a rural dirt road 5 miles southwest of Finlayson, the Salvation Army now runs the Northwoods Camp, a rustic collection of century-old cabins and newer buildings. When this property was owned by the River Road Fellowship, which included about 150 people, it was home to “Shepherd’s Camp,” where Barnard brought his maidens. He lived in the camp’s “lodge” and would call for one girl or another “when he wanted to have sexual intercourse with her,” the charges say.

According to the complaint, “B” told authorities that Barnard explained that Jesus had Mary Magdalene and other women as followers and that King Solomon had many concubines, adding that “God’s word” made having sex with him normal. She told authorities that Barnard warned her not to tell anyone about the sex, that he would hit her when angered and that other girls were called “to see Barnard in the same manner,” according to court documents.

A few years later, Tornambe said, she left permanently. She had traveled to Brazil with another one of the maidens who was originally from that country, and she decided there that she wanted out of the religion. When she came back to the United States, the group had moved to Washington state, she said. She went to live with her parents, who had by then moved to Pennsylvania. They still had pictures of Barnard in their house, she said, and continued to send money to him.

She stopped going to church, she said, and started to adapt to the outside world that was foreign from the insular one where she had grown up.

“I didn’t know anything. We made all our own clothes. I didn’t know anything about the Internet or cellphones,” she said. She took jobs working at a health club and waitressing, eventually becoming a nanny.

After ringing in 2012 at a New Year’s party with cousins who happily talked about their futures, she decided she’d been robbed of too much of her childhood. That week, she called authorities to tell her story.

Another victim

The criminal complaint details the story of another girl, called “C,” that is similar to Tornambe’s.

C said her abuse began in 2000, when she was 12. She lived with nine other girls and also rarely saw her family. C said Barnard also told her that the sex was ordained by God.

In February 2001, Barnard, C and her parents met. He told her family that he might have sex with her, even though that had already been occurring.

That month, C was part of a ceremony that Barnard called the “Salt Covenant,” a pledge by the girls to remain unmarried and loyal to Barnard until death.

C also said a calendar was kept in the kitchen that chronicled when the other girls would have sex with Barnard, though all the while the girls would never speak to one another about what was happening.

C separated from the group several times in June 2008 until leaving for good and moving to Wisconsin in September 2009. She became depressed and attempted suicide in 2011. Her brother, also formerly part of the fellowship, confronted her. She then told him about the abuse.

Community on its own

The story of both girls, told in the charges, has rocked the normally quiet community near Minnesota’s eastern border.

From his carefully kept house, Jay Gault would sometimes see women and girls across the dirt road, in the camp property’s woods, tapping trees for maple syrup.

But when he would go get his mail, they would scatter, said Gault, 61. “They’d go back in the woods. They wouldn’t look at you.”

In an area where drivers wave when passing one another, neighbors noticed that the people at the camp “kept to themselves,” as several put it.

Dick Bowser, who recently retired from East Central Energy, said the church wouldn’t let power company or fire department employees on the property — “and when they did let you in, they watched you very closely.”

“It was strange,” Bowser said.

The men sometimes left to do carpentry or construction work, but “you didn’t see the women very much,” he said. Bowser, 60, lives down the road, but even from that distance, he’d hear them, faintly, chanting and singing.

Then, a few years ago, the camp cleared out. Gault noticed that businesses affiliated with the congregation — a construction company among them — suddenly closed, as well. Then word came about the alleged sexual abuse. “It’s been the buzz around here,” Gault said, shaking his head.

“I didn’t expect it to be anything good that was going on down there,” Bowser said. “But I certainly didn’t expect what it’s looking like it’s turning out to be.”

Worried for her sisters

Now 27, Tornambe said life is still an adjustment.

The criminal complaints say that Pine County sheriff’s investigator Matt Ludwig told “B’s” parents about the abuse in June 2012 and that her mother “did not want to hear it.”

Her father agreed to speak with Ludwig, explaining that he allowed his daughter to live away from them because she seemed happy.

He described the “atmosphere in the congregation and said it is a very powerful force to face the idea of losing everything — family, home, friends, business and being cast out of the church — if you do not go along with what Barnard wants you to do,” according to the charges.

B’s father recalled Barnard coming to him and rationalizing his having sex with the girls. The father “felt pressured to not say anything,” the complaint continued. “[The father] said he did not know what he was thinking at the time but just remembers feeling so much pressure to not become an outcast and lose everything he had.”

Tornambe has had bouts of depression where she considered suicide, she said. She physically hurt herself, she said, feeling that actual pain was better than trying to confront her emotional pain.

“For so many years it seemed like I’d never have the chance to … even know who I was … we didn’t really have a chance to think for ourselves,” she said. “We were told what time to get up, what time to go to bed, what we were eating, when we were going to sew.”

Tornambe decided to speak out publicly, she said, to try to stop Barnard. Her mother and two sisters are still involved with him, she said. She hopes telling her story will help other victims, too, she said.

“I definitely don’t want Victor hurting anyone else.”

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http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/story/25267829/us-marshals-join-nationwide-manhunt-for-victor-barnard

barnyard has the history with that small defunct cult now led by two old lesbians, but so do the parents of that poor sweet lindsay tornambe who was a "maiden" and if you look back her little sister is now also one

this crap just sickens me over and over and over again

i'm still glad they put it out there

so many things running through my mind i don't know

wierwille for the most part (catcup's sister for one is exception) was smart enough to go for maidens 18 and above