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simonzelotes

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Everything posted by simonzelotes

  1. That was Steve Lyons who lost his yob...I didn't quite get it myself after reading about it...Now that announcer for the Miama -Florida International college football game---he deserved to get fired....
  2. Yeah,...would it have really killed the Cubs to wait a day or two to make the announcement?...Talk about a strange evening...The plug on my dryer electrical box got fried and needed fixin'....So I call my buddy to come over and look at it...But this isn't just any "buddy"...He had to bring his dog "Bubba" with him...Bubba is this huge Neopolitan Mastiff...If you're not familiar with them,they're sort of a cross between an elk and a rhinoserous,with a head about the size of a pumpkin...Naturally,my buddy and his friendly dog Bubba stay and watch Monday Night Football with me... During the game,my buddy does about three times as much analyzing and story-telling as the MNF announcer and the two color commentators combined...That is,when he's not chastising Bubba for yawning or getting up to stretch,...and knocking over an end table or a refrigerator,or something...And every so often,during this strange Bears-Cardinals game,the bottom of the screen flashes that the Cubs signed Lou Piniella,and I'm trying to read it long enough so's I could at least figure out how to spell his name,but the phone will ring,...I tell my buddy to 'hold that thought',and it's one of my brothers or nephews calling, wondering if I'm watching the Bears game,and of course I tell them, 'no,I'm at a poetry reading you fool'... And the game goes on,one of the strangest football games I've ever seen,and I finally have to show my buddy and Bubba the door,so I could field more phone calls from siblings and hear their keen insight into this strange Bears victory---all the while,wondering how I'm going to face my local Arizona friends this week,who will all somehow think it's my fault that the Cards totally out played the Bears,yet the Bears stole the victory away from them...Meanwhile,...I did manage to figure out how to spell "Piniella"....
  3. ....and put a ring on his finger,and bells on his toes,and proclaim "wherefore hast thou smitten me these three times?...Am I not thine foot?"....For now we are completely,completely and absolutely complete in him... Hey.I didn't type "foot"...You add a word here,...change a word there,...what've you got?...
  4. For some strange reason.Lou Pinella's tremendously keen insight as a Fox color commentator has suddenly grown on me...
  5. It's good to be home again It's good to have peas wthin My thread and me have reconciled And all my wrongs have been made right My mind is satisfied,I feel so gooood inside My feet are walking in the right direction everything's all right... (Sung to the tune of "Wooly Bully")
  6. Tragic is about all I can say....I wasn't too familiar with Lidle,but it's something you just hate to hear about...God rest his soul...
  7. Hey Rocky,...good to have you back!...So are you on parole,house arrest or do they have one of those ankle bracelets on you to keep you monitored?...They desperately need you over on the politico threads...That place is One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest without McMurphy....
  8. Red's much better,Bill....I never bet on a game in my life...and I'm not even Pete Rose....I have no idea what they're talking about with odds,point spreads,over and under and so forth....I do remember a football coach,who when informed that the odds of his team winning the Super Bowl that year were 1000-1,said "Really?..Who's the one guy that thinks we can do it?".... Weaver just might be one of those guys who decides to turn it on at playoff time...
  9. Maybe getting swept at home by the mighty Kansas City Royals and losing out on the division title has woke up the sleeping giant....
  10. If Torre is fired this year,I doubt he would manage anywhere else...He's a New Yorker and I think anything he'd do after his stint with the Yankees would be somewhat anticlimactic...Remember Casey Stengel and the Mets?....Joe Girardi looks to be an up and coming star and I don't understand why Bob Brenley isn't managing somewhere...What ever happened to Davey Johnson?...He fell off the face of the earth after some good years in the 80's and 90's...Frank Robinson and Felipe Alou are also out....You have to think some of the more recent bottom-feeders,the Pirates,Royals Brewers etc. may be looking to do some major shake ups...
  11. Bill.that is a cool looking barn...You should paint 'Mail Pouch Chewing Tobacco' on the roof...
  12. simonzelotes

    8th Corps

    You know you could thank usn's,whose hearts hath bled rescuing this,thine thread,from the almost dead and shed your bed head and locks of dred and be thou fed..with the bread of all that was said on our beloved corpse thread for,as hath been said by a rider in a passing moped afore into the night havig fled "No gresespot words shall be read, unless the way corpse treads are led by the 9th corpe thread....
  13. I don't really get into all the Yankee bashing,but like one of the announcers said,rooting for the Yankees is sort of like rooting for the house at a blackjack table....While their legacy is great and unmatched,it just has become too much about money ball for them...Teams win championships,and often it's the #8 slotted weak-hitter in the lineup,or the obscure #5 starter that ends up being the hero in championships...I think people root against the Yankees for the same reasons they shop at the little ma and pa shoe stores or gas stations....We like to see the underdog have a chance...I think in sports,the greatest thing to witness is seeing a team make it to the top of the mountain...The second greatest thing to witness is seeing them get knocked off the mountaintop....
  14. Well,what can you say?....Congratulations to Jimmy Leyland and the Detroit Tigers...Deserving winners against one of the best lineups ever assembled....Why,I've even enjoyed the Tommy LaSorda commercials that tell us to get our asses out there and watch the playoffs---even if out team's out of it...
  15. I never really thought of Bill as one of those 'talking heads'.... Well,tomorrow my daughter is going to meet up with excie and some of her fam to go see Mama Mia,a Broadway production....I'm anxious to find out how they'll spot eachother in front of a crowded theatre...A green and white nametag?....A holy spirit dove?....Or maybe a code phrase like "Is Jesus come in the flesh?"... It doesn't seem fair that New York now has my little girl and two teams in the Major League playoffs....
  16. I remember watching that on tv....He hit it off of the unhittable Dennis Eckersley,no less...That could have only happened in tinseltown...That was every Hollywood baseball movie ever made condensed into one at-bat....
  17. Yeah,you're right,mstar,...time to let it go...Turns out that was Jeff Kent,the first guy tagged out,who got a late start from second and is about as slow as a tree anyway,and J. D. Drew,practically running right on top of him....3B coach said he was afraid two runners were going to be caught on the same bag,leaving somebody out there in no man's land...That was one of those plays where everything has to go just right(or in the Dodgers case,just wrong)....The guy on first could see the ball wasn't going to be caught from his angle,so he was flying,but from Jeff Kent's angle,and with no base coach at second,he held up to make sure the ball wouldn't be caught...Plus,the Mets said they've been working on that play since spring training.... Good news for stRanger man...Texas fired Buck Showalter today...The last two teams to fire Buck,the Yankees and the D-backs,went on to win the World Series the following year....
  18. It just occured to me---I hate all eight teams that are in the playoffs...Dodgers,Twins,Mets,Yankees--you name 'em,I hate 'em...Oh,well,I'm probably still reeling from another disappointing season... Two guys thrown out at home on the same play????...I have to believe there's a third base coach who's going to be unemployed in a couple of weeks...I see how the play developed...Right fielder got a perfect bounce and was able to make a good play at home----Can't blame the third base coach for the first guy getting tossed out,but letting the second runner get past you is inexcusable.... Seems like every time I see Torii Hunter in the postseason,he's doing something aggressively bone-headed....I know that's his game,but geez, two years ago it was getting thrown out at third trying to stretch a double with no outs and the Twins down by five runs...Today,instead of holding the guy to a two out single with a runner on first,he comes charging in and the ball goes by him for an inside-the-park homer....He's a great player,but I'd hate to be his manager....
  19. And when God tells you to shut up,you don't ask "how high",you just-----------wait a minute,...that doesn't make any sense......Never mind.......
  20. I think we can all say that we wish we were the thread we know to be....
  21. George,I guess you'll never get an answer to your three-way tie question until it eventually actually happens...It appears that tie-breakers are only used in baseball to determine playoff seeding ,but not to totally eliminate a team from the playoffs,like in football...For instance,the Dodgers and Padres finished with identical records,and both were going to make the postseason as either the division winner or the wild card winner...Since the Padres beat the Dodgers 13 games to five in head-to-head competition,the Padres became the division winner and the Dodgers became the wild card winner...Now,if the Phillies had ended up with the best wild card record,the Padres and the Dodgers would have had a one game playoff to determine the division winner,with the loser of that game going home and the winner being the division winner...Kapish?...
  22. Figured I'd better post something here before our beloved thread ended up on page two,or down in the achives somewhere... As long as we're discussing our chores,I was boogie-ing down emptying my closet so's I could paint it and came across my graduating way corpse picture,sporting a blue polyester suit and a pair of black,patent-leather loafers,shaking the doc's hand with Dr. Dean Don in the background and Craig at the lecturn,most likely reading Joe LaValley's name since he followed me alphabetically...I also found two certificates:a certificate of graduation of the way corpse four year training program and an Associate's of Theology Degree,...both with the heading of the "Indiana Campus"....What's up with that?...Must have been a legal thing since I was only at Indiana for a couple of weeks... They're probably not worth much,but I do have some fun telling people I have an associate's degree in theology,especially if I'm trying to win their trust in case I need it later...So,how's the rest of the riffraff doing around here?
  23. Well,lifted,your Indians got even with Ozzie this year,...giving him the choke sign when they were eliminating the Chisox from the playoffs...Payback's a bitch,and those Indian fans don't soon forget...The palehose basically stunk up every ballpark they played in since the all-star break...It was frustrating,like they were a cat,toying with a mouse...you kept wondering when they were going to snap out of it and finally devour the mouse---only they let the mouse get away...I don't know which is worse,rooting for a team that's out of the playoffs by late April(the Cubs),or cheering on a team that seduces and teases you most of the year,then when September rolls around they flop like a Broadway turkey... I'm like mstar...I'll take a little time away from baseball,...walk the neighbor's dog,..chase butterflies in the park,...take a bubble bath or maybe paint my toenails...Whatever it takes to flush the disappointment out of another season fallen short..Then when the playoffs start I'll pick my favorites,and if nothing else,enjoy the more intense level of baseball that the post-season brings...
  24. simonzelotes

    8th Corps

    If you guys will just give me 20 minutes of your time,I will prove to you that you don't a thing you're talking about in the field of corpse posting...Why,I've forgotten more about posting than you boys'll ever know....From here on out I think I'll just post toasties or grapenuts on this thread....
  25. I do remember TJ had his dungarees cleaned and pressed,with a neat little crease down the middle....He looked quite the cowboy...
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